Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I’m your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I’m an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I’m going to give you your weekly horoscope and no bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

I mean, you know I have book, Astrology for Real Relationships, and you know I’ve got a big mouth, and you maybe know, but now you will, that I’m doing a live event this Thursday, August 27th at 7:00 p.m., Pacific time. It’s going to be for an hour and a half. It’s for CIIS’s Public Programs, and it’s going to be great. Shakira Tabourn is going to join me. We’re going to talk astrology. We’re going to talk relationships. You really don’t want to miss it. And did I mention that it’s free? You can register on my website at lovelanyadoo.com/events.

My Darlings, welcome back to Ghost of a Podcast. This week is also recorded in my living room, so forgive me for any weird audio stuff that’s going to happen in this episode. We still have these California wildfires, and they’re messing up my recording flow, so Champagne complain—Champagne complain.

Okay. This week what I’m really excited to talk to you about is ethics in astrology. This is a topic that I’m very, very passionate about. And that’s because, in part, I really respect and value astrology. I understand that astrology, when used in particular by somebody who really knows what they are doing, has a lot of power in it. And, when you are looking at somebody’s birth chart, you are looking at a really sacred and personal document. And this sacred and personal document can be misused or used against people by people who don’t even realize they’re doing it and people who sure fucking know they’re doing it, right. So in this episode I want to cover a bunch of things, including reading for loved ones, reading famous peoples’ charts, and horoscopes—learning astrology. I want to touch on all of these things, so buckle yourself in; I’m doing a thing.

Okay. So let’s start with learning astrology—just like a basic baseline start of learning astrology. Something that I think can be really tricky is the only way to learn astrology is to cast charts, right. So you cast charts for yourself, but, if all you know is your own chart, you’re not really learning astrology in a comprehensive way. which is totally fine if you’re using it for self-care, and you’re not trying to become a practitioner. But, if you want to read for anyone else, if you want to have objectivity within the craft of astrology, you need to learn more than just your chart, right. You even need to learn more than just your friends’ charts because the only people that you’re going to resonate with as friends, the only people that you are going to be related to are directly implicated in your chart—you see? And this is a really important thing for you to fully grasp. Your bestie, your enemy, your ex, your crush, every single person you’re related to, everyone that you have contact with that has any kind of impact on you or you have impact on them, you’re in their chart, they’re in your chart, and, therefore, you are not an objective force. Isn’t that fascinating? You are a subject in the very chart you are trying to be objective about.

I think probably, in a different way, the same thing could be said for therapy. How can a therapist be one hundred percent objective when they inevitably have a personal feeling about you and your shit, right? We don’t need to be robots; we don’t even want to be robots. Do you want to be a robot? I don’t want to be a robot. So it’s fine that you are subjective, but I think the thing that’s really different—there are so many things that are different between therapy and astrology, but something that is really different is to become a licensed therapist or social worker, you have to go through all this schooling, and you learn ethics, and you learn about confidentiality clauses and all that kind of thing. With astrology, ’tis not so—for better and for worse. There’s strong pro’s and strong con’s, right.

One of the things that I see in the astrology world is that people will learn a little bit about someone else’s chart and then make determinations about their personality or vice versa: learn a little bit about their personality and think they know everything about them and their birth chart. That is shady IMO. Maybe you like it—maybe you do it. When we use astrology as a way to explain other people away, when we use astrology as a way to evade and avoid actually getting to know people in real time over the course of time, then, first of all, that shit is in our birth chart—the style in which we do that, the pace at which we do that, that’s in our birth chart, but the other thing is, that means you’re using astrology at the expense of your emotional intelligence, and that does not lead to happiness, and it does not lead to success. That’s my opinion. Is it unpopular? Nobody knows—I’m sure the internet shall tell me, but that’s how I feel about the situation.

Now, I’m going to get to positives in a minute—trust. Trust. But here’s the other thing, and this is the other thing that’s really different about psychology etc. versus astrology. Even astrology fans, people who love astrology, who consume horoscopes and have all these apps on their phone—so many people who really enjoy astrology don’t especially respect it. It’s not hurting my feelings; it’s fine. But it’s something to seriously consider because, if you really respected the craft of astrology and all the work that goes into being a competent astrologer, would you skip the steps of learning and just go into the things you want to go into? Right. Would you, I don’t know, center horoscopes in your use of astrology? I don’t know. Maybe you would—maybe you wouldn’t. I don’t know.

But there is a way that—kind of a disrespect of astrology and a way of making fun of it is so massively a part of Western culture. People don’t even notice they’re doing it. I cannot tell you how many times over the course of my career people have come into my office after waiting for months or a year even for an appointment with me—one of the first things they tell me is they don’t really believe in astrology. They don’t really take it seriously, and they think what they’re doing is they’re saying, “Don’t worry. I’m an intelligent person. Don’t worry. I’m not a silly person. I’m not a silly girl.” And there in lies a conflict, right.

If we have to distance ourselves from the very things that we are using or turning to for comfort or insight, then either what you’re turning to for comfort and insight—astrology—is not in alignment with you, or you’ve got some sort of shame or judgement about the thing you’re using which you need to come into some sort of healing with. You capisce?

And, so, this is a really important point that I’m talking about because we’re talking about ethics, right. When we look at astrology, we want to recognize that a lot of conventional religion, in particular, I think Christianity and the Christ based faiths kind of demonize astrology, and they say astrology is bad or it’s sinful or it’s evil. There’s also a whole history of the way in which in the Western world, astrology was made to be a women’s thing in women’s magazines. But there’s a way that when things are kind of branded towards women and pointed towards women, there’s a way that we kind of like minimize them or we call them silly or not serious, and I want to say listen—listen, you don’t have to believe in astrology any more than you have to believe in Tylenol or Ibuprofen. You don’t have to believe in the thing for it to work. I don’t believe in The Cloud, but, apparently, all my photos are kept there; I don’t know. It’s just there. I don’t understand it, but it works for me objectively. It works for me, right.

And, so, what you want to really check in with is is the way that you are holding astrology ethical? And, if you are a practitioner at any stage, is the way that your clients are relating to you or relating to your craft, is it respectful? I mean, I’m not saying there’s anything you need to do about it if it’s not because people are people, and we all come from wherever we come from, blah, blah, blah. But it is an important point because when somebody starts off their relationship with you by saying that they don’t really take you seriously, and then they ask you to tell them whether or not to have a child or whether or not to make a major life change, well, then you know something about them, which is that they’re confused about value in their lives, right. And this is an important thing. When we’re looking at the concept of ethical conduct with astrology, it’s really important to recognize that it’s sticky for most people—not all people, but most people. And that’s okay, but we want to step into that with as much clarity and integrity as possible.

Now, to a point that I mentioned earlier. The only way to learn astrology at a certain point—you can study and study and study, and then at a certain point you just have to cast charts and read them. So is it ethical to read the astrological chart of a famous person? It is a convention to do so. It is a convention to learn astrology through the charts of famous people. This, however, is something that I have incredibly strong feelings about, and I’m not for it. I have gotten into conflicts with astrologers that I very much respect and like on this topic. And I want to just say we can all be in disagreement about some things and still respect and like each other—come on guys; you know we can, right.

So, personally, me, I think that being famous for being an expert in something or being famous for being an actor or an actress or whatever it is or a singer is great. Wonderful. Good for you. You got recognition—maybe you got cash. But I don’t think it’s fair, and I don’t think it’s ethical for us as astrologers to look into famous people’s innermost private lives. I don’t think it’s right, personally. Some people who happen to be famous, happen to also be very cool with that, and that’s on them. Some of that, I worry, is because they don’t realize how much personal data can be gleaned from a birth chart from somebody who knows how to read it, and some of that might just be because they earnestly and authentically don’t care.

So where it becomes unethical is when you don’t get permission from that specific person. I, personally, don’t look at the chart of a person who hasn’t given me permission to look at their chart. That is my bottom line. I do have a wiggle room in there, personally, when it comes to politicians, and that is because they are elected officials, and there is just something about their civic duty to serve the people, right. But, in that regard, I am not looking at their inner most personal lives. I am not looking at their childhood shit because it’s not my fucking business. It’s not my fucking business.

And, so, I want to say to you do you think you have a right to look at someone’s dirty laundry? I, personally, have an ethical conflict with it, and what that does is, first of all, makes me me, and you might be you, and we might be different. It also makes it harder to learn astrology because it is especially hard to find people to give you their birth charts if you only know a limited number of people, and you are implicated in their charts because you are having a relationship with them. So, it just, for me, meant that I, in my early stages of studying, I just offered free readings to everyone I had contact with. I just offered readings and readings and readings to everyone I had contact with, and then, eventually, what I did was I would do trades, and then eventually after the trades, I received compensation in cash.

Now, again, when I started this it was before the internet was around, and it was before astrology was at all popular or conventional, so it was a very long time ago and things were different. But that is how I personally approached it.

Now, I want to say one more thing about famous people. This idea that we have that we know our stars, right, I think it’s really complicated. Now, as I’ve said on the podcast before, the way that I use astrology is primarily as a counselor. I use it as a tool for healing, and I use it as a therapeutic tool, right. And, so, from that vantage point, I don’t think it’s actually possible for us to look at the life and career of Elvis Presley, as an example. Is he dead? Nobody knows. It’s a great mystery. We can know lots of things about what people in his life experienced of him and shared with others; is that objective data? I mean, it’s data. Is it objective data? I don’t know.

I bet my best friend would describe me in one way and my ex-girlfriend would describe me in another. We are not one thing to all people—that’s just not how life works. We can look at someone’s career and their public life, and we can infer all kinds of things about their personal life, but is that accurate? When you go through the world, do you think you’re constantly revealing yourself to others?

What I have learnt as a consulting and practicing astrologer is that I would say just about everyone, just about every single person—of course there’s exceptions—that I have consulted with over the years, they feel really different than they act a lot of the time. And I would say that we go out of our way to obscure and shield ourselves in parts of ourselves that are vulnerable, right. The other part of it is we don’t know ourselves all the time and in all the ways. We just don’t, and we can’t all the ways all the time. Also, we change, and we grow. We are not just one thing. What it means to have, let’s say, a Moon Square to Saturn when you’re 15 years old is going to be really different than when you’re 35 years old, and it’s going to be really different from 35 to 45 or 75. Do you see what I’m saying? We are not this—we are not a story where all the words are just typed onto a page. We are organisms. We are energy, and we are dynamic. And, so, when we seek to create a narrative about other people, especially famous people who we are already are inclined to project onto, when we do that, we can’t be assured of the accuracy of our take.

Now, again, I will say real briefly here, I do not know a lot of people who share my feelings about this, and I do know a lot of astrologers—so do what feels right for you. But, personally, me, I don’t read famous peoples’ charts unless they contact me directly and say, “Hey. Will you read my chart, slash, also please keep my fucking confidence because I’m trusting you?” Right. Right.

If you are going to be a practicing astrologer, whether you’re doing it very seriously or just kind of like for friends or whatever, and, honestly, if you’re doing Tarot or any kind of energy work, you are being entrusted with someone’s vulnerability, and it is your ethical duty to really respect that trust and to guard it with your integrity. And, so, associated with that, I would say don’t fucking ever, if you’re a practitioner, talk about the things that came up in a consultation with other people. ’Tis’ rude. ’Tis wrong. ’Tis wrong. ’Tis rude.

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It's really important that anyone who’s reading a birth chart for anyone remember that what you’re doing is interpretive. You cannot predict death. If you think you can predict death, I would ask you to really question why the hell you would want to and who it’s serving. It’s really important when you verbalize any astrological insight or advice that you take responsibility for the fact that your words are going to stay with the person you’re saying it to. And it’s on you to find ways of speaking that are humble and considerate of the fact that you don’t know. You are interpreting a document, a birth chart—you’re interpreting that document; you are not spewing facts.

You may have an excellent track record, that doesn’t mean you’re going to be right about everything—no one is, so it’s important that you affirm that it is an interpretive practice with whoever it is you’re consulting with, whether it’s a friend or a client, and you affirm that we all have free will, and nothing is written in stone. I mean, some things are written in marker, but nothing here is written in stone. And, honestly, if it was written in stone, you can break the stone; you can etch it off. Things are changeable. It’s important that as astrologers we do not condemn other people.

That brings me, finally, to friends, lovers, and family. This is where shit gets complicated because, like I said, you’re in their charts and they’re in your charts. How are you going to be objective? Now, I’ve talked about this in public before and probably on the podcast a couple of times, but, personally, me, I am of the mind that there is an ethical conflict with looking at the charts of people who are close to you without their express permission. Okay. So let’s just start with that.

Looking at the birth chart of a crush before you’re in a relationship—that is a fool’s errand. Yeah, that’s right; I called it a damn fool’s errand. And not just for ethical reasons but because, as I said earlier, it makes you feel like you know someone when you don’t. When you’re in a personal relationship with someone, when you’re in a personal relationship with someone, you must get to know them personally. Cheats don’t work—you just cheat yourself. If it’s a client, sure. Look at a chart; do a damn thing. But, if you’re starting to crush out on someone, and you look at their chart and you’re like, Oh. They have this and they have that in their charts, and then you think you know them, and you think you know how to work with them, it is not allowing them to reveal themselves to you in the ways that they’re comfortable, in the ways they know how.

What really happens on an experiential level is you rob yourself of the potential that truly exists between you and that person, and you rob them of it, of course, as well. But also, on the ethical tip, what occurs is you are making decisions about who that person is without their consent or their participation. It’s not what I would call awesome, personally. But, again, I am in the minority with this perspective. Most people will look at the charts of their crushes. I don’t recommend doing it, and it’s as much for ethical reasons as it is for your own wellness.

Now, when it comes to being a parent and looking at the birth chart of a child, again, I don’t recommend it. I think it’s fine to consult with an astrology who is objective if that astrologer is not trying to predict who the child will be. My personal practice is that if I’m looking at the chart of a child under the age of seven, I am only looking at health issues. So I’m looking at diet and other kind of health related issues for the child, and I’m looking at parenting tips for the parent, and I’m looking at learning and developmental style and pace. That’s it.

When we try to predict who that child will become, what we do is we project onto that child and that becomes really messy. When you are looking at the chart of your own child, it is not possible to look at it without seeing yourself; it’s literally impossible. You cannot look at your child’s chart without seeing yourself in it. You cannot look at your parent’s chart without seeing yourself in it. ’Tisn’t possible. These are profoundly integrated relationships to the central core of who we are. It’s important to recognize that you’re not objective. You are subject. You are literally in that chart. And, so, if you’re an anxious person, a guilty person, if you’re a person who’s worried about what will come or you obsess on the future or you lament over the past, don’t do it because then you’re going to bring a bunch of bullshit to the reading of that chart.

The upshot of what I’m trying to say here is that the ethics of looking at someone’s chart under the auspice that you can be objective about what you see—it’s a little tricky. It’s a little dicey, right. There’s a way that you can be incredibly intelligent and incredibly learned, and you can see things very accurately, but it is an invasion of privacy. It is, unless that person has said, “Please, invade away,” in which case, do your damn worst, I suppose. Do your damn worst.

For me, personally, I’m not going to look at the charts of the people who I am close to, and I don’t really read for friends. So—or when I do I have a lot of processing conversations around it, and we put a lot of boundaries around it because, inevitably, as an astrologer, you can see things that maybe you’re not going to say or it just doesn’t come up or you haven’t figured out how to put the words to. But, in any case, you now have a lot of information about that person that they don’t have about you. And how does that facilitate or harm the relationship?

A relationship, really, is about a back and forth, right. It’s about a meeting of people, and when one person has a lot more information than the other, when one person has a lot more data to work through about the other person, then it actually doesn’t help the relationship along. What it does is it helps your shit, which can be found in your chart. And, so, in terms of your personal relationships, if you want to learn about your spouse or your partner or your crush and what they want or need from you, my advice to you is to open your damn mouth and ask them. And then trust what they tell you, or, if you don’t trust them, stop being close to them.

To look at your own chart to understand how to show up or how you’re not showing up in your relationships is the healthiest use of astrology I can ever conceive of—for reals. If you’re irritated with your partner, chances are high it’s for a reason, and that reason can be found either in your own felt experience—because, again, we’re not using astrology to override our felt experience, to override emotional intelligence—or it can be found in your own chart to be like, Oh, shit. I’m going through a really stressful Mars transit this week, and I’m defensive and irritable. That’s what’s happening. That’s on me. So maybe the most annoying person I happen to know is my partner, and they are just triggering the transit, but it’s my transit. So what am I supposed to learn here? How can I heal? When we embody the best of our charts, then our relationships organically improve, and, if they can’t improve when we’re healthier that’s because they are not relationships for us anymore. And then that’s on us to take responsibility for and go forth, right. Right.

Now, when it comes to other personal relationships that are around family, and, I mean, your children or maybe your siblings or your parents, it’s a little bit stickier because, for instance, with children, you can’t necessarily ask their consent, and it wouldn’t really make sense because they don’t understand what they’re consenting to. Honestly, it can be a similar thing with your family members. They might not really know what astrology is and the potential that you have to actually see so many personal things about it, and then this is where it becomes an ethical issue. When a person cannot understand what they’re being asked to consent to, then they cannot give consent, right. And when a person cannot give consent, it is an ethical funky line to look at their chart if they have not given you consent.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, I don’t know really know that much about astrology; it’s not that serious. And maybe that’s true, but these are really important things for you to be thinking about. I may have a bit of a hard line around the ethical use and practice of astrology. I mean, I am a triple Capricorn; I’m going to be known for some hard lines. That said, I think it’s really important for you to explore what your thoughts and feelings are, both respectively about the stuff that’s come up in this episode today and your own thoughts and feelings about how you’re using astrology.

Something that I’ve seen a lot in the world—not as much by practiced astrologers, but in terms of conventional use of astrology—is astrological stereotyping and pathologizing. Saying that a person from a certain class or a person from a certain country is a specific way is shitty. We all know that’s shitty, right? You may do it; you should know, it’s shitty—don’t do it. The same thing is true with Sun sign astrology. When you say, “I don’t date Libra men; they’re all trash.” When you say, “Gemini’s can’t be trusted; forget all Gemini’s.” When you do this kind of thing with Sun sign astrology, it is not ethical. It’s not an ethical use of astrology. It’s not a healthy use of astrology, and it’s not an accurate use of astrology.

So what you’re doing is both disrespectful to the craft and practice of astrology itself. No big deal. No pressure. But it’s also just shitty to other people because the truth is all the Libra men in the world are not one way—of course they’re not. Of course they’re not. The only reason why you have a negative or a positive experience with a particular Sun sign is because of your chart, and what that particular Sun sign does to you and your chart, right. So this thing I’m trying to really shine a light on is that in order to ethically use astrology we must understand the subjective nature of the tool and the subjective nature of us who wields that tool. Don’t be a tool with your tools.

Okay. So all to say, don’t stereotype people based on Sun signs or anything else in their chart. Don’t explain people away. Don’t look at peoples’ charts without their consent. Think for yourself. Decide for yourself what you think is right, but absolutely consider the ethics of how you’re using astrology and how the people that you’re trusting are using astrology.

Okay, My Loves, that’s it. A little ethics and astrology? Yes, thank you. Do I want some more? You better believe I do.

I thank you once again for tuning in to Ghost of a Podcast. If you want to learn more astrology with me outside of the podcast, then, hey, go buy my book, Astrology for Real Relationships, or join me over on Patreon.

The other thing is, I encourage you to cycle back through past episodes because I’m very excited to say now that I’ve dropped over 100 episodes—that means that I’m getting lots of questions about things I’ve covered in past episodes. So I invite you to scroll through older episodes. There’s tons of astrology content throughout the history of this podcast and still to come, My Loves—still to come. Bye.