Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I’m your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I’m an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I’m going to give you your weekly horoscope and no bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

I’m finally offering transcriptions of Ghost of a Podcast, not once but twice weekly—yeah, that’s right, transcriptions twice weekly over at ghostofapodcast.com. Very slowly but surely, I will also transcribe past episodes, so be patient, be excited, and keep on keeping on.

My Sweet Loves, welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. This week I have a question from Node Exactly Feeling It. Yeah, that’s right; it’s a damn pun. Node Exactly Feeling It asks me a question that in many ways is related to an Astrology Hot Take I did about a week and a half ago on episode 135. So if you haven’t already heard it, you might want to pause this, go back, listen to that, or listen to this and then go over and listen to that. I don’t know what you do. I respect you, but I don’t know what you do. 

Okay. So about the Nodes, and it goes like this. “I have the hardest time knowing and being myself, which I should theoretically have a grasp on because I have a South Node in Aries. I have an extremely unstable sense of self. I change behaviors, identities, and beliefs based on who I spend most of my time with, and since I have such a hard time making and keeping friends, this is usually my romantic partner. 

I do, however, relate to the North Node in Libra. I often prioritize other people’s needs over mine in ways they don’t ask for, but sometimes they end up taking advantage of it unintentionally because I offer it so freely. I really do enjoy doing things for my partner to show love, but I also never feel like I’m showing it enough. I am conscious of the fact that this can cause me to get lazy or burnt out which inhibits my ability to show the same care and attention in all aspects of a relationship, which makes me feel like I need to earn it even more in other areas. 

I do not relate to the South Node in Aries at all. I have no clear sense of identity which isn’t tied to someone else. I have tried to parse apart feelings of my identity that are truly me and that’s partially why I’m getting so into astrology, but it generally leads me back to a very sorrid and traumatic childhood, so TLDR. Does the fact that my North Node in Libra and my South Node in Aries mean, especially considering the distinct lack of fire in my chart, that I didn’t fully learn my soul journey in my previous life? Love, Node Exactly Feeling It.” And they were born on August 26th, 1995 at 8:20 p.m. in Lancaster, California. 

So, Node, let’s talk. Let me start with this, and this is really, really an important part of understanding the Nodes in astrology. The Nodes are not planets. So it’s not like, for instance, you’re a Sun in Virgo person. You’re a Virgo, right; that’s what we say. And we can talk about the distinct qualities of being a Virgo or being whatever Sun sign because we’re talking about a planet and a sign. Now, when we’re talking about the Nodes; it is not a planet. It’s not as formed and distinct as I fear you are thinking it is. In other words, it’s a spiritual point that relates to the journey of your Soul.

Now, from my perspective as an astrologer, it is a misunderstanding of the Nodes to think of them as something that you, no matter how mature you are, no matter how traumatic your past is, no matter how much work you do on yourself, no matter how advanced you are; it’s unrealistic to think that you’re going to be in great clarity and embodiment of your North Node before your forties. We’re not supposed to be. That’s actually not what it’s supposed to be. 

The North Node is where we are journeying towards on a Soul level. So the way to think of this is your whole birth chart—all the planets in your birth chart, they describe your personality, and they describe your nature, and they describe, in many ways, not just your life experiences, but the timing of your life experiences, right. And then the North Node is kind of like that integrational point. It’s kind of like the thing that is guiding you or helping you to, on a spiritual level, shape how you embody your chart and how you respond to the kind of ambiguities that are inevitable on a spiritual level over the course of time. 

Now, when we work on embodying our charts and becoming ourselves, AKA growing up and becoming adults, what happens is we solidify—our nature solidifies into whatever shape it is, and then in our forties and onwards, we are actually capable of, on a spiritual level, congealing all of this stuff into a greater sense of embodiment. 

So the idea that your North Node or even your South Node is something you’re supposed to be embodied around in your twenties, this is a misunderstanding of what the Nodes are, okay. So we’re going to get there. It’s not that simple, and it’s not that literal. 

Okay. So the first thing that you’re saying, and you’re saying it pretty damn clearly, is you’re like, I don’t know who the hell I am. In your birth chart you have a lot of things that would describe that. The first one is you have Saturn in Pieces conjunct your Ascendant. This conjunction inclines you—I wouldn’t say to not know yourself—it inclines you to feel like you don’t have the permission to decide who and what you are. And that’s a really big difference, actually. It’s kind of like, I don’t want to lift that heavy box; I can’t. And then you tell yourself you can’t, you can’t, you can’t, so then you believe you can’t. But really underneath it is I don’t want to lift that heavy box.

In your childhood, knowing yourself, self-defining, being self-possessed didn’t go well. Let’s put it that way. It just didn’t go well. And so you learnt very young that not being attached to yourself was the best way to survive what was happening around you and to you, and that’s what you did. And because you are as young as you are, you’re still kind of in that phase of development which is healthy and normal, okay. You’re not behind schedule, but you’re in that phase of development that is consistent throughout the twenties where you are understanding things—you get it; you know, right. But there hasn’t been enough life experience, and there hasn’t been enough physical time and space to do the emotional integration of that knowing. And that’s where real change occurs, right. 

You can make a decision based on cognitive understanding and follow through on the steps that you understand to be the best steps based on that cognition, but without the emotional intelligence to back it up, without the space and time to really belong to yourself around it, it ends up not feeling quite right; it just doesn’t work the way we want it to work. And I want to just say, it’s okay. It’s really okay. This is where you’re supposed to be, and it’s not awesome, but it’s also not behind schedule. 

So back to this question of not knowing yourself. Now, you are—yes, a Virgo, and you have the Sun, Venus, and Moon all sitting on top of each other in the sign of Virgo, in the house of Virgo, and they’re all squared by Jupiter, which means a lot of things. But in the context of your question, what it’s really about is how you are hyper-analytic. You’re just processing, processing, processing, processing, and it’s kind of never enough. 

So there’s a way that you put this pressure on yourself to be the eternal student, but you never feel ready for the test. You’re just constantly pressuring yourself to learn more, figure out more. But because of that Venus/Moon conjunction on your Sun, you want to get along; you want people to like you, and so you do what is actually a pretty high functioning thing. You bypass your whole personality and the busyness and demanding nature of your mind, and you just get along. You just compromise, right. And you do this very consciously. You described it well in your question. You don’t focus on yourself. You don’t take the time to sit with yourself to reflect on what do I think? What do I feel? What’s true for me? You only give the people what they want, as far as you’ve determined it to be. 

This is reiterated because you have Neptune and Uranus square to your Mars, and those aspects in your birth chart do indicate that you are both impatient and that you have a hard time finding yourself. This feeling that you did such a good job of describing in your question of not knowing who the hell you are and how to engage with others—Neptune square to Mars is a big culprit in this one, okay. It really makes it so that the kind of assertion of your ego is so uncomfortable for you that you get exhausted and confused when you try to do it. 

And, on top of it, because you’ve got Uranus there, you’re impatient with the whole damn process. So, again, you fall back on your Venus/Moon stuff—your Sun, Venus, Moon stuff. You fall back on this high functioning skill that gets in your way and doesn’t make you happy and is not sustainable for you to be using as consistently as you have been, but it is a high functioning skill. It’s giving people what they want—get along. 

And the truth of the matter is, you, My Dear—and I mean this as a compliment—are a pain in the ass. You have strong opinions. You find lots of things to be stupid. You actually are a highly analytic, discerning person. You really are. You have a lot of Mutable signs in your birth chart. You have a large stellium in the sign of Virgo. You’re a person who really is able to see a million pieces of a whole, and you get distracted by those many, many, many pieces, and it can be hard to locate yourself within that. But that is from where I’m sitting, not an issue of your Nodal embodiment. It’s your personality. It’s about you figuring out how to honor the fact that you’re highly analytic, you are very discerning. 

I mentioned that Saturn conjunction to the Ascendant. What I didn’t mention is that it is also opposite to Mercury, and they’re both square to the Midheaven. So you have this tendency to constantly edit your thoughts as you’re thinking them. Saturn opposite Mercury is an aspect in your birth chart that a lot of writers have, and also, it’s really good for editing. The downside of this is that you absolutely edit your thoughts as you’re having them, and you start to think about verbalizing something, and you edit your idea before it can come out. And, so, again, what do you do? You hop back to the safety zone in your birth chart of the Moon, Venus, Sun conjunction—give the people what they want.

So here’s the thing. Most of us have one part of our birth chart—especially those of us who’ve had traumatic childhoods and have complicated birth charts—we have this one part of our nature, and it kind of works, right. It’s organic to us or organic enough to us, and we learn when we’re young that it gets us good results, and so we use it. And over the course of our twenties, we can become a bit of a one trick pony with it. And then when the Saturn Return hits is a time where generally we’re meant to kind of expand our repertoire and, again, cultivate a greater embodiment around maturity so that we can make new choices and be a more whole self. I mean those are the Cliffs Notes anyways. And, so, it’s not uncommon in our twenties to over rely—I mean, honestly, throughout the course of our lives, but in particular because you are in your twenties, it’s not uncommon to over rely on a part of our nature because it’s the devil we know. 

What I want to encourage you to do is start spending time alone where you give yourself permission to write down all of your opinions—just all your damn opinions. Be petty if you need to be. Be critical if you need to be. This isn’t because I’m trying to get you to be a petty or critical person. It’s because I want to encourage you to explore your internal landscape in privacy to start cultivating your comfort with doing so. And not just your comfort with doing so, but also your willingness and ability to kind of separate wheat from chaff, to separate bullshit from actual opinions. Your kind of like critical because I’m being critical ideas and your discerning, this is actually what I think ideas. And within this, you’ll have to confront your fear of being alone. 

And that brings me, My Friend, to the Node. So you have the North Node in Libra, in the sign of Libra, and it’s conjunct to Mars. It’s also at the anaretic degree, which is the 29th degree of Libra. So the South Node in Aries in the first doesn’t mean that because you have the South Node in Aries you came to perfect embodiment of the self and you should know yourself. That’s not what it means, Dude. What it means is that in this lifetime, the cultivation of self is not meant to be only for the self. That’s what that means. 

The North Node in the seventh house and in Libra is saying that you have come here to figure out how to hold onto yourself around others, how to learn how to authentically embody yourself in partnerships, not to dilute the truth of what you are while showing up with and for others. And because Mars, the ruling planet of Aries, is sitting very close to your North Node, it is the reiteration of you need to figure out who the hell you are, and that’s actually great news for you because you’re saying I don’t feel a great, easy embodiment of who the hell I am—the Mars conjunction to your North Node is like, “Yeah, no. Yeah, no. That’s what I’m here to learn in this lifetime.” 

So, all to say, if you sit around and you look at your North Node and you’re like, “Yeah. I got this. I know what I’m doing. No problem,” then you’ve misunderstood the North Node. Because the North Node is not supposed to be simple or easy. It is spiritually hard, and when things are spiritually hard, they are inevitably hard emotionally. They are inevitably hard to embody. They’re not always hard to cognitively understand, to talk about, to think about, to explain, but integrated embodiment—that’s the hard part of the North Node. 

So if you are reading something or hearing something or investigating something about your North Node or a client’s North Node or a friend’s North Node, and you’re like, “Oh, yeah. You’ve got this. This is—you’re doing it. This is it. This is what you’re supposed to be doing,” I fear there’s a little bit of a misunderstanding about what that North Node is meant to be. 

The North Node is not a planet. It is the Soul’s journey. We are not meant to achieve it. We are not meant to even embody it in a singular way. The North Node is a path. It is a winding path, and you are meant to be upon the path of your North Node. You are not meant to find a singular location upon that path and camp out there forever. We are meant to, of course, camp out in specific locations on our path over the course of life and time. But the place we camp out is not the point; it’s the path that’s the point. 

So, in your case, Node Exactly Feeling It—keep on giving me puns, I say—in your case, you have not failed some sort of spiritual journey, okay. You have not failed a spiritual test or a Soul test. You are experiencing exactly what I would expect you to be experiencing, and the fact that you can articulate it so well is beautiful. What the next steps are likely to be is practice sitting with yourself around it, being with yourself around it, talking to yourself around it, and, for you, with so much Virgo in your chart, that might look like writing letters to yourself—Dear Diary shit, whatever. Whatever. 

Now, this thing about feeling like you can never prove your love enough. My Friend, that’s because you’re performing love. You’re not actually showing up. And that is unfortunately very common for people who have the North Node in the seventh house or the North Node in Libra—certainly for someone like you who has both. 

In order to change how you feel and what happens within your primary relationships, what you’ve got to do is in the nature and style of your birth chart, not your Nodes. Focus on how to show up for yourself and then bring that self to your relationships. This is meant to be slow work. What I’m saying is both very specific and very abstract because that’s the damn Nodes. But the good news is, My Friend, you’ve got this. You’re not meant to hold it in both hands and clutch it tight. It’s not that kind of got this. It’s you see the need for change, you desire the change, now you just must do the work of choosing the change. 

We are going through transformational times, and whenever you are engaged in your own evolution, inevitably, you need a little help. And that is why I’m really happy to share with you Better Help. They’re committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches, and it’s easy and free to change counselors if you don’t like the person you’re matched with. This service is available for people worldwide. 

It’s just really valuable to be able to talk to someone about whatever it is you’re going through, whether it’s queer issues or depression or just anxiety from all the shit going on in the world—Better Help is there for you. In fact, so many people have been using Better Help that they are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states of the US. 

I want you to start living a happier life today. As a listener of Ghost of a Podcast, you will get 10 percent off of your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/ghost. Join over one million people taking charge of their mental health. Again, that’s betterhelp, H-E-L-P .com/ghost.

Learn about colonialism past, present, and ongoing. Educate yourself about whose land you’re living on, and, if you can, make a monetary donation or pay a land tax to that tribe. Visit Our Native Land at native-land.ca. The link is in show notes. 

It’s horoscope time again. This week, in a way, it’s kind of simple; there’s not too many transits. Separate from whatever we talk about in the horoscope and whatever else is going on, I do want to encourage you this week and, honestly, for the rest of 2020 to really look at the ways in which you are or are not engaging in self-care and attempting to prioritize being kind to yourself, being supportive to yourself, leaving room for integration of what you’re learning or unlearning. In doing these things we can sustain the road. But I do hope that you are engaging in making changes in the world, that you are engaging in making changes in your life, and that those changes are not arbitrary, but instead a reflection of your values. 

And my hope is that you do it because it’s right and not because you’re fixated on an outcome. Because while we must stay fixated on many outcomes, in many parts of our lives and in the world at large, at the end of the day, when you’re embarking on long term changes or long term transformation or long term goals, when we’re over-fixated on the end goal, then we are not present for the process itself. And it is the process itself that is the important part that gets us there. It actually makes it so that we can sustain the hard work. I’m not saying evidence of progress, which is an inevitable part of any major transformation or big picture goal so that we can stay present when we have setbacks and not lose ourselves or lose our confidence or our faith. And losing track of those things—that shit’s human, but you don’t want to lose it altogether.

Now, I’ve got more. It’s an actual horoscope. It covers the dates of September 6th through the 12th of 2020. It starts off with the first exact transit of the week happening on the 9th of September, and it is Mars Retrograde—do, do, do, do, do, doo. You’ve heard a lot about it, not from me; I haven’t talked about it too much yet. I’m going to. I’m going to. It goes Retrograde on the 9th at 3:23 p.m., Pacific Time. On my mid-week episode on the 8th of September, I’m going to drop an episode dedicated to Mars Retrograde. And if you want to know more about Mars in general, you can listen back to episode 123; it’s all about Mars. 

But let me just crack into this Mars Retrograde situation, right. There’s a lot of ways of thinking about it. This transit is a very big deal for a lot of reasons. Let’s just start with the basics. The glyph for Mars in astrology is the symbol we associate with the man symbol. It’s that circle with the arrow. Mars is associated with our conventions around masculine energy or male energy. It’s assertion and fighting. It’s combat. It’s ambition. It’s competition. It’s fucking—its energies are urgent; they demand visceral expression. They are kind of me first, that’s mine, I won, or I’ll win kind of energies. 

Mars also governs passion and engagement. It’s how you drive your car, literally. It’s also what drives you. It’s how you move through the world in a material way, how you seek to get things done. Mars is a really powerful planet, and when a planet goes Retrograde, we are dealing with the need to review, to reflect, to reassess, to refine. Retrogrades want us to revisit how we are engaged, how we are embodying a particular theme. 

So you’re all very well acquainted with Mercury Retrograde, right. Are you curious if there will be a Mercury Retrograde coinciding with this Mars Retrograde at some point this year? Let me just break that down for you right away. Yeah, there will be. That will be a whole fucking mood, but we’ll get to that later. That won’t be until October, so let’s just focus on one problem at a time, My Friends—one problem at a time. 

So Mars Retrograde is, in general, a great time to really look at your relationship to any of those themes that I named. Anything from your ego to your sexuality, to your ambition, to your body, to anger—did I mention anger? That’s kind of a big one—fighting, all kinds of things, right. So that’s on a personal level. 

Mars is going Retrograde at 28 degrees of Aries. So, in particular, if you have anything in a Cardinal sign, and that’s Libra, Aries, Cancer, or Capricorn, somewhere around 27 to 29 degrees, then Mars is Retrograding right on one of your planets or points. If you find that to be the case, don’t fucking panic. Don’t have a cow, man. That’s a Bart Simpson quote for those of you who don’t know. Instead, just know that you have something to learn, and astrology is articulating that one of the things you have to learn is your embodiment around whatever that point is, right. 

So if Mars is Retrograding, and it’s hitting an important point in your chart, that just means it’s activating that point. You don’t need to freak out. Because, yes, I am getting a lot of emails from you guys being like, “Oh, my God. Mars is Retrograding right on my X. What does it mean for me?” It means you have something to learn, and you’re going to learn it in the context of Mars, which is with passion and intensity. 

So you might be feeling irritable. You might be feeling angry. You might be feeling blocked. You might be feeling super fucking annoyed. You might be feeling filthy and dirty and like, I want to get some. You might be feeling ambitious. You might be feeling like I need to move my life forward; I’m ready to mobilize now. It all depends on your birth chart. 

But let me tell you a little bit about this Retrograde. It goes Retrograde whilst forming a square to Saturn and Pluto. Now, you know this because I’ve been telling you this for the past couple of weeks in a row, right. So this feeling of intensity and frustration, fire in the belly building, we see this through violent and aggressive expressions. We’re also seeing this through people standing up and fighting back, right. So Mars is on all sides of all issues. 

It is not bad to have an ego. It is not bad to be angry. It is not bad to be passionate. Really, very few emotions are bad. What they are is important for you to be present with so that you can orient yourself in response to them in a way that is generative and healthy. So when you recoil away from upsetting or frightening feelings, then you stop being at the helm of them; you stop having as much agency within them, and just why Mars is one of the planets that governs the concept of agency, of being an agent for change inside of yourself or in a situation, right. 

So what I want to ground you into is the opportunity to be present for emotions and feelings and sensations and impulses that are hard to be with, that you may have a relationship to that is avoidant or that is indulgent. You may overdo it or under do it is what I’m trying to get at. You may have value judgements about it. 

Now, that’s not all; you also may be having to deal with other people who are showing up heavily Martian. Not like an alien, like Marsy. You may be having to deal with that kind of a thing. And let me tell you what—if you do, then it’s going to engage your Mars either way. Think of it as weather. So you go outside, and you’re like, “I don’t believe in astrology,” or “I don’t have an issue with anger,” but if it’s raining, you’re going to get wet too. So maybe you don’t care about getting wet in the same way that somebody who just straightened their hair and is wearing a full outfit made out of suede. Maybe it’s going to be different for you than it is for someone else, but we’re all in the same weather. We’re all in the same weather. We are in different positions; we have different feelings about it—we might not have to be outside as much as someone else or more than someone else—but it’s all just the damn weather. 

So can we expect major changes around this Mars Retrograde? Yeah. I think we absolutely can. What I want to empower you to do is to notice your reactions, both in your body, mentally and emotionally to this content, to these themes, to these themes as I bring them up, but also when you’re in the world or you’re scrolling through your feeds, or whatever the fuck it is, right. Really notice how you are reacting to anything Martian and how your ego is oriented inside of you. Start to notice it because when we bring greater awareness to the planetary influence that is Retrograde, there is an accelerated opportunity for healing. 

The Retrograde doesn’t want us to do it different. The Retrograde wants us to reflect on how to assess or reassess what needs to be done differently as we go or moving forward. When it’s time to reassess, it’s time to reflect, and reflection is more of a passive then an active process. So reflection is arguably very active as a process itself, but what I’m getting at is it’s not a time to go out and embody the change; it’s a time to sit with the data so that you can assess the change, right. I know you get me. I feel like we get each other. Okay. So that’s—that’s my quickie on Mars Retrograde; there’ll be more soon. 

And then, and then on the 11th there is an exact opposition between the Sun and Neptune. And I will tell you that this opposition does play meaningfully into the Mars Retrograde chart. And in the context of COVID, I think it’s a really big deal. And, again, I’m going to talk about it soon in episode 141 of Ghost of a Podcast. 

So Sun opposite Neptune. This transit—kind of no bueno. First and foremost, it is an anxiety machine. It just inclines us all to be anxious. Now, the world that we’re living in, this fucking propaganda shit that I’ve been talking about all year—we are sitting ducks. We’re just sitting around being fed data on our devices all day long, and it’s really hard to know what’s real and what’s not real, what’s true and what’s not true. This is kind of classic of the Neptune—the Sun, Neptune transit. 

The Sun, Neptune opposition, it sparks anxiety in such a way where it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s not real. It’s hard to know where we begin and end. We get distracted. We get over-whelmed. Some people will find that they’re just fucking exhausted around this date, right. So you’re going to feel it on the 10th, 11th, and 12th. It’s exact on the 11th. 

You might feel that you’re just off—just super off. You might be dealing, because it’s in opposition, with other people who are being duplicitous, who are lying. And they might be lying on purpose to get over or create harm, and they might be lying just because they’re not sure, or they’re misrepresenting not on purpose; they themselves are also part of the transit, right. 

It is wise around this date to be critical in your approach to all things. And I mean critical in a discerning way, not critical in a mean, finger pointing way. Because, as I’ve kind of talked about here before on the podcast, when you feel anxious or shitty, it’s easy to start pointing fingers and blaming others as a way to feel better about yourself in your situation. It’s just not healthy, and it’s not wise. But it's easy, so watch out for that. And if somebody else is doing that with you, maybe just don’t engage with them. 

If you’ve been trying to do little social media cleanses, where you just take a day or two off, take off the 11th. If you can take off the 10th through the 13th, yay—that’s pretty cool. Check in with yourself. If you can put your feet in the dirt—basically, if you can just connect to nature, it doesn’t have to be with your feet, that would be really wonderful. 

Neptune wants simplicity. Neptune wants us to connect with the truth, but not in an analytic way, in a way where we are present for the sensations and the feelings, the energetics of the truth.  And a Sun opposition to Neptune is going to make us feel really uncomfortable in all the places in our lives where we’re not doing that, where we have been lying to ourselves or we are overusing distractions. So I say overusing distractions because I think distractions are healthy and fine when they’re done proportionately. So if you are self-indulging in ways that are not proportionate for your own best interests, you’re likely to feel it around this date.

Now, My Loves, this—this is it. That’s the whole damn horoscope. Those are all the exact transits of the week. Unfortunately, Neptune and Mars: their energies are probably the most different of all the planets, right—Mars versus Neptune. Mars is the ego and the body, and Neptune is kind of the higher self and the spirituality. I don’t want to encourage you to hear me say that and think about it hierarchically. We are material beings in a material world. We are in meat suits on the globe, right. We are here to engage with our Mars. We are here to embody our Mars. So when I say higher self, I don’t want you to hear that hierarchically. I want you to hear that as our spiritual beings, right. Our bodies our inside our Soul. So when we talk about the higher self, we’re saying above and beyond the body. 

I want to encourage you as much as possible to be present for these very divergent themes and to be really self-aware about how you feel when any of this stuff comes up and where your reactions try to lead you. And this will empower you to respond with greater intention, which is good for you. It’s good for America—sorry, I just said that because I thought it was funny. It’s good for the world; it’s good for you. There it is. There it is.

I invite you to join me over on Patreon because I am teaching the Thoth Tarot deck there. I just started, and I really love that Tarot deck. It’s my favorite one to use because it has so much astrology in it. So I’m very excited about that. And, of course, I drop all other kinds of content there as well. 

And also, per ushe, if you like what you’re hearing here at Ghost of a Podcast, if you’re getting value from it, I invite you to write me a review. Give me five stars. I love stars. I’m a fucking astrologer, of course I like stars.