Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I’m your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I’m an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I’m going to give you your weekly horoscope and no bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

Hello and welcome back to Ghost of a Podcast. This week’s episode was recorded in the following way: I recorded the astrology half of this episode before the election was called, and I am recording this after the US election has been called in favor of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. So in honor of that I decided that I would choose a question about narcissism. 

And before I get to that question and read it to you and answer it, I want to just acknowledge that the current sitting president of the United States is a serious, destructive narcissist. I mean, he’s a lot of things. He is a lot of things, but he is a narcissist. And I think it's really important to acknowledge that when narcissists face public embarrassment, and there’s no greater public embarrassment than losing the popular vote two elections in a row by millions and millions of votes. So this guy’s been really humiliated on a global stage. And while I may be snickering within, it is important to acknowledge that narcissists by definition do not respond well to being embarrassed and not getting what they want. 

And, so, I want to say, before I get into this week’s question, tread lightly, my loves. We are in very delicate times. There are so many ways for the next few months to play out, but none of them are likely to be easy or chill. If you have ever met a narcissist who upon hearing a boundary just went softly into the night, then you probably weren’t dealing with a narcissist. That’s just really not how narcissists respond to boundaries.

So in efforts to guarder a greater understanding about narcissism and how to deal with narcissists, I thought I’d answer this particular question. And it comes from Wannabe Wiser, and she says, “I’m no expert, but I think I’ve realized that my partner is showing harmful narcissistic tendencies, and this is not the first time—I have found myself having similar realizations with past partners. Does anything in my chart offer any clues to this? I want to be able to soak up any astrological wisdom that might support this realization I’m having and break the pattern. Thank you for your time.” And Wannabe Wiser was born on February 4th, 1996 at 7:48 p.m. in Folsom, California.

Okay. So let me start off by saying how proud I am of you, Wannabe Wiser. You’re starting really strong by not giving me your partner’s birth information. It’s great that you’re looking at your pattern; that’s a really, really good sign for you being able to actually heal your pattern. 

Obviously, I am not a fucking psychologist. I’m not here to diagnose people. I’m not here to—if you want real, solid, reliable data about narcissism, if this is something that’s really important to you to or your life, listen to psychologists, people who have been trained and study in personality disorders. I’m not—that’s not my background, and that is not what I’m trying to talk about here. 

But I will say this, as an astrologer and somebody who consults with people, I absolutely encounter narcissism all the live long day. And that is to say I have countless narcissistic clients, and I have a maybe even greater number of clients who have relationships with narcissists, whether it’s family of origin or friends or lovers, people at work, whatever it is.

So first of all let’s kind of talk about, well, what is narcissism. It’s easy to say that narcissism is really an obsession with the self, being too obsessed with the way you look or obsessed with the way you act. There’s an element of that being true, but narcissism—not being narcissistic and taking too many selfies and that kind of low-key narcissism, but real narcissism involves gaslighting. 

Narcissists have a tendency to shift blame compulsively. While they maybe acutely self-aware of their own feelings and their own narratives about what’s happening, it always falls back on them being the victim in the situation. They have a tendency to be revisionists.

When somebody is narcissistic, they employ blame and shame and guilt as a way to substantiate their feelings, to substantiate their rights, and their behavior. And they don’t say sorry. They don’t feel an authentic sense of responsibility for how others feel because they’re so deeply impacted by how they feel. 

So here’s the thing that’s really important about narcissism, and this is a hard thing to learn, really. But narcissists are lonely. Narcissists don’t have the capacity to share of themselves in a truly authentic way and to listen and be present for others. They don’t have that capacity. And, so, what’s really important about narcissists is they believe that they are the victims. They really do believe it. It’s not like a story they’re telling to manipulate you. I mean, it is a story they’re telling to manipulate you, but it’s that they believe that. They believe that they are the center of all things because of underneath, their terror that they are shit. 

Now, why is it that you, my dear, Wanting to be Wiser, would have a tendency to choose narcissists and then cultivate intimacy with them? Well, that actually has a pretty easy answer. When we’re looking in a birth chart for signals of either you being a narcissist or you having a tendency to cultivate relationships with narcissists or you having a history of having been raised by a narcissist—which, honestly, these things often can bleed together—what we’re going to look for is Saturn. 

Okay. So let’s talk about Saturn. Saturn in astrology governs a whole lot of things. But the reason why Saturn is associated with narcissism, whether that’s cultivating relationships with narcissists or being one yourself, is because Saturn governs existential loneliness. Saturn is associated with the sense of I’m not good enough, and I have to prove myself. I have to justify myself. I have to keep on going out of my way to show other people what I am worth and what my value is. I’m going to go prove it. I have to keep proving it. I have to keep proving it. That’s Saturn. 

Now, other planets absolutely have their own ways of doing that. Certainly, Mars can be that toxic masculinity version of it. Pluto is a resentment-based version of it. There’s different ways that different planets may kind of be able to present as narcissism in the birth chart. But what I’m most commonly seeing with patterns around narcissism is a strong Saturn. 

And you, my dear, have a Saturn/Venus conjunction in your seventh house. And so what happens for you is that because you’re insecure, because you don’t really trust yourself, you look for a partner who you feel is stronger than you, who you feel can guide and protect you. And, so, you go for these people who come across really, honestly, kind of arrogant. They come across really self-possessed. They come across like they really know who they are and where they’re going. And at first it makes you feel safe. And at first it makes you feel like no matter what happens, you’re with somebody who knows themselves and knows the world enough to take care of you. 

Inherent in this is your own struggle around finding self-worth, self-definition, and cultivating confidence for yourself in yourself. And that is work that you need to do over the course of your life, right. 

Now, listen, I’m going to just pull back and say you have a Sun/Mars conjunction in your birth chart, and it’s opposite the Moon, so I imagine that people in your life know you to be quite forceful and self-assured. And also, this other thing is true. And this is where life gets really complicated and birth charts are really complicated. We have contradictions in our nature. So you can be somebody who’s really self-assured and really assertive in some ways and not in quite the opposite in other ways. 

So when it comes to your pattern of being with narcissists, you get something out of it at first. Narcissists will never really try to get to know you for very long. They will for a minute. If you’re cultivating an intimacy with somebody who is narcissist, they will ask questions. They will be interested in you, until they’re not. And once they’re no longer really interested, then they just want you there as a kind of way to absorb their emotions or to support them. They want you to be their beta. They want you to be their Robin to their Batman. 

What I want to just really center you around is that you are comfortable in that role short term—at the beginning of romantic relationships and close friendships. So for you, part of what that’s about is being shy and being uncertain of yourself and looking, honestly, for kind of a quick fix to your intimacy issues. 

With a narcissist you can start in the middle. Things move really fast, and you cultivate this what seems like a very quick intimacy and closeness, but you don’t actually do all the dirty work of revealing yourself and getting to know yourself and being vulnerable in that particular way. And, so, it serves you for a short period of time until they start taking advantage and bullying. And at that point, it really starts to push on your sense of self-worth and your sense of devotion and your defensiveness. 

So the way to break your pattern is with a couple of steps. Step one: if you’re considering trying to reform your narcissistic partner, I would like to disavalue of that idea. That’s not how it works. That’s not effective. So there’s the question of whether or not you’re going to stay in this relationship, which is not the question you’ve asked me, but is worth me acknowledging, right. 

Breaking the pattern that you have in your life of cultivating relationships with narcissists cannot happen within a relationship with a narcissist. The idea that you may have of being able to kind of be like a self-cleaning oven, being able to just take care of everything for yourself, by yourself when you’re with somebody who actually can’t see you and center your feelings and needs—that shit doesn’t work. So we want to just acknowledge that. 

And then we get to the breaking of your pattern. It’s really annoying. It’s really annoying. Get ready. It’s move slowly at the beginning of relationships. Isn’t that annoying? I think it’s super fucking annoying. What I basically mean is there is no way to rush intimacy.  There’s no way to rush getting to know someone. When you want to start in the middle with someone, and you are inclined to hook up with narcissists, or really any number of fucking things that can go wrong in a personal—on a human on human relationship, but when you have this tendency, it becomes very tempting to rush past the vulnerability, to make assumptions about who other people are, and to really take everything at face value, straight out the gate. 

Because you have a Saturn/Venus conjunction in Pieces, that inclines you towards being attracted to narcissists, in the short term anyways. Because you have Mercury and Neptune conjunct in Capricorn—Uranus is also involved in that conjunction, but it’s in Aquarius—all in the fifth house, it reiterates what I’m telling you about the Venus/Saturn conjunction. 

It’s reiterated because what it essentially does is it makes you devotional when you catch feelings for someone. And it makes it so that this comes up for you more with romantic partners than it does with friends. Although, the Venus/Saturn in your seventh would incline you to have this come up with friends as well as romantic partners. Because of what you have in your fifth house, it comes up way more with dudes if you only date dudes. You didn’t mention if you only date dudes, but this is way more likely to come up with romantic partners—period and across the board. 

So here’s the thing. Your Sun/Mars conjunction is in a rush for everything, that’s just your nature. You’re impatient, and you love moving fast. Your Venus/Saturn conjunction inclines you to move fast because of your strong drive for security and stability. And your underlying fear of loneliness, your underlying fear of loneliness compels you to assure yourself that you’re not lonely by securing a relationship quickly and early on, right. 

But when you do these things, when you allow those parts of your chart to drive your behavior, what happens is you end up falling into the trap of being close to someone before you know whether or not they are healthy and appropriate for you to be close to. And thus, we have your pattern. It’s a really simple but fucking annoying fix—move slow. 

And what that looks like is when you’re starting to date someone, don’t text them all the time. Here’s my general rule for dating people: however frequently you see, talk to, and/or text your very best friend in the whole entire world, in the first few months of dating someone, you should not be texting, seeing, or talking to them more frequently. I know. I know that’s the opposite of what most people do. 

However, let me tell you, when you treat an essential stranger with great chemistry and romance like your bestie before they have had a chance to actually earn your trust, you are kind of inviting in problems. And you know what? Sometimes it works. Sometimes it totally works. But as a general rule, it’s not a great approach. So my advice to you is to keep it simple and move slowly. 

Now, my dear, I am so excited that you are down to address this pattern, and I want to just remind you you’re young. I mean, I didn’t need to tell you you’re young—you know you’re young, right. Right? You’re young, and so it’s okay that this pattern is activated. It’s wonderful that you’re self-aware. At any age it’s wonderful to become self-aware of a pattern. And you want to, as much as possible, approach your kind of correction and re-mediation of this pattern with patience. 

Because whenever there’s something in our birth charts, whenever there is something in our lives, we are not meant to become cognitively aware of it and then achieve healing spontaneously. I’m afraid not. It has to go through the layers. And so it’s important to have patience with your own process as you engage in unpacking this pattern in action, in process. 

And in the meantime, what you can always strive to do if you are stuck dealing with a narcissist is these couple of things. The first one is if you don’t like the game, don’t play. In other words, you don’t need to sink to someone else’s level when they’re trying to drag down a conversation or keep things petty or blamey. At that point, you can always say, “I’m not going to have this conversation right now. I need to tend to myself, and let’s talk about this later.” 

Now, narcissists, like I said earlier, are not internationally known for respecting boundaries, but that becomes its own issue. Do not allow a narcissist to create the narrative and for you to fall in line with their narrative. It is wise for you to be clear about what conversations you’re willing to have and which ones you’re not willing to have. I hope that’s helpful, my dear. Good luck with it all.

Let’s talk about astrology apps. There are certainly a lot of them out there, and it can be hard to know which ones are legit. So let me tell you about TimePassages. It’s kind of like the OG astrology app. It’s been around since 2012, and it’s made by real astrologers, whom I’ve known personally through the astrology community for years. 

You can cast charts for yourself, your friends, your family and read insightful interpretations that help you understand what it all means. The daily horoscopes are based on your actual chart, so you can use it to track how the transits I’m describing week after week are affecting you personally. TimePassages is used by professional astrologers but is also accessible enough to the astro-curious. Just search the TimePassages app in the Play or App Store to download it today.

Learn about colonialism—past, present, and ongoing. Educate yourself about whose land you’re living on, and, if you can, make a monetary donation or pay a land tax to that tribe. Visit Our Native Land at native-land.ca. The link is in show notes.

Donate to Feeding America’s Corona Virus Response Fund. No one should go hungry during the COVID-19 pandemic. With school closures, job disruptions, and health risks, millions of Americans will turn to food banks for much needed support. They can’t do it alone, so if you can help, please do. Go to feedingamerica.org.

My loves, I am recording this on the 6th of November, and it’s relevant because I feel like hour by hour the news changes so quickly. The reality is whoever wins the presidential election, we have so much work to do. Regardless of who wins, regardless of how it all shakes down in the end, we are on the brink of a massive confrontation. And we need revolution. We need transformation. Now, I know I’ve been saying that for the last four fucking years, so nobody’s shocked to hear me say it, but here we are, and things are about to get very real. Yeah, I know; they feel like they have been pretty damn real for a long time, and they have been. But, I don’t know, giddy up. 

I know some astrologers have been walking around town and some energy woo people have been walking around town being like, “Yes, 2020’s been heavy, but 2021 is going to be easier.” And I just think, I don’t know where they’re getting that data. I mean, I’m not shitting on anyone’s version of reality, but you don’t need to be an astrologer to look around and say we have a problem here. Because racists aren’t scared of anything except for being called a racist. It seems to be the only thing they’re sacred of. There’s so many ways that we have harmed each other and we are being harmed. And now that the genie is out of the bottle, there’s no shoving it back in. It’s just not how it’s going to go down. 

Listen, we don’t know each other that—I mean, I don’t know you that well. I’m going to make some assumptions about you. You want to be a good person, and you want to be someone who does right by others. And none of us are good at that all the time. If you think you’re good at that all the time, you’ve got a problem. Nobody’s good at that all the time. You’re not better than anyone else. You’re probably not worse than anybody else. We’re all just fucking up and trying. 

And there is a beauty in that mess. And there is pain in that mess. And we must be willing to be present with our pain right now. Most of us don’t know how. Most of us are too burnt out, sad, hurt, accustomed to checking out, pointing fingers, perpetrating self-harm. We don’t have the skills. And that doesn’t mean that there’s—that’s what’s wrong with you. I mean, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, what is hard for you is not what’s wrong with you. What is hard for you is what’s hard for you, and you deserve grace around that. 

Mercury is direct. It’s still in its shadow, in its retroshade, but it’s direct. Mars goes direct this week; I’ll get into it in a minute. So that means things are going to start moving forward. Things are going to start mobilizing, for better or worse, my loves. 

I want to call you in. I have no interest in calling you out. I want to call you in. I want to invite you to get acquainted with your fear and to get acquainted with your pain and to know that you are not alone in your fear and your pain. You’re absolutely not alone in it. And also, no one has to feel your pain other than you. You are existentially alone in it. You will live with it. You will manage it as you do or not. That is yours to bear. I don’t say that to make it worse. Let’s just—we’re cutting the shit here; we’re just being real. It’s hard to have feelings of fear when you’re so out of control. It’s hard to see so much pain and bullshit and hate in the world. It’s awful. 

I’m really invested in being in this fight for us in the long haul. It’s not been about 2020. It’s not been about 2019. It’s not even about fucking Trump and the racist, homophobic monsters he’s woken inside of people. It’s about us. How will we show up? Who will we show up for?  Will we remember who the real enemy is, or will we tear each other or ourselves down as we struggle with emotions that we don’t have the skills of coping with all the damn time? I don’t have the fucking answers. Neither do you. Nobody has the answers. It’s not about answers; it’s about the process. It is about the fucking movement, my loves. 

So let’s all, each of us, commit to staying associated to the best of our ability with what’s important and to seek joy and rest as a part of that commitment, as essential part of that commitment. Your joy is essential for your willingness to not just survive this but to thrive through this, to not just fight for other people’s survival, but to fight for their dignity and joy and thriving. There is enough to go around. There’s enough praise and fame and safety and healthcare and cash and there’s enough. We just have to get better at sharing. 

And I actually believe, and I’m a massive fucking pessimist, but I actually believe that the beautiful part of the terrible pain and suffering that we have been going through as a collective and the gift that the internet has given us and net neutrality has offered us to allow people who have historically always been silenced and marginalized to organize, to speak for ourselves, to gather community, to amplify our stories, amplify our needs, amplify our successes and our struggles—I don’t know. I am emo about this. 

Okay. Now we get into your horoscope. This week we are looking at November 8th through the 14th of 2020. It’s what we’re here to do. On the 9th of November, we have a Sun trine to Neptune. Now, this transit is really good for cultivating and being present with empathy. This transit promotes generosity, spirituality, creativity, and receptivity. Fucking gorgeous, right. 

The only downsides of this transit are that it’s not super compelling. As I say over and over on the podcast, when there’s a difficult transit, it gets your attention—ouch, that hurts. But if something’s like the perfect temperature—you’re just walking around, and it’s the perfect temperature: a lovely breeze when you start to get a little too warm, you kind of don’t overthink it; you just keep on going. Something nice, something easy, something supportive, unfortunately, the matrix rejects it. That’s a Matrix reference, and if you’ve never seen the movie, we can’t talk. I mean, I don’t need to see all the movies—just see the first movie. 

Okay. So make an effort. Make an effort to center gratitude on and around the 9th. Really notice what you have, even if we still don’t know answers, and there’s so much uncertainty. Think of all the terrible things that could happen that haven’t happened for sure yet. That’s cool. There’s something cool about the unknown. In the unknown you can get what you want. In the known, you’re for sure aren’t sometimes, right. That’s a Capricorn trying to be optimistic. How am I doing? 

Okay. Sun trine to Neptune, lovely. Not super strong. That’s the downside. The only other downside could be that because we’re all so tapped and warn thin, this transit increases empathy and sensitivity, and increased sensitivity is not what most of us want or need at this time. So it will take real intention to be centered or grounded enough in this moment to kind of finagle the energy so it’s actually healing and helpful for you and those around you. 

Now, on the 10th, Mercury, now moving in the direction we want it to—that damn little trickster—is moving directly back into Scorpio from whence it came. So that’s great. I’m not going to tell you too much about it; you know about it. But what I will just remind you is that until Mercury passes the very degree that it was when it first went Retrograde, it’s in its Retroshade. I don’t make the rules. I just report them. So basically, what we’re looking for is for Mercury to cross 11 degrees and 40 minutes of Scorpio, and that’s happening on the 20th—okay, maybe the 21st, depending on where you are in the world. So until then, we’re in the shadow. 

Do you hear me say that and also hear an underneath my words, dun, dun, duuun. If you do, then you are hearing the same noises I’m hearing. We expect in the post-Mercury Retrograde Retroshade the same mishigas we experience in the pre-Mercury Retrograde Retroshade, which is to say it’s not a Retrograde; it's not that bad, but you feel it. You notice it. Everything is not perfectly tidy. And we are still in the phase of the Retrograde; we’re just in a different phase. 

That brings us to the 12th of November, where we have the third and final installment of Jupiter and Pluto conjoining each other in the sign of Capricorn. The last two times that this transit occurred, April 4th and June 30th—you might want to look back at what was going on in your life and maybe in the news around those dates. 

I will remind you when two outer planets form an aspect to each other, it doesn’t just influence us as individuals; it influences society itself. And this is a really important thing to understand about astrology when you’re trying to understand social and political events. Society is—yes, it’s us as individuals and coming together as a collective, but it is also these movements and these moments. And when outer planets meet, it is often a time when we can see meaningful transitions in movements and important moments. 

This is something you really want to pay attention to. Jupiter and Pluto together is revolutionary energy. Saturn is very close to the two planets but not involved in this conjunction exactly. We can expect really intense feelings. Really intense feelings. Jupiter wants freedom at all costs, and Pluto can be quite punishing and controlling. Pluto is associated with survival, and Jupiter is just like, you know what? Just fuck off. I’ll believe what I want to believe. I live the way I want to live. 

Jupiter and Pluto meeting in Capricorn in this final hit, I imagine, will have some presentation with COVID. Jupiter is associated with a spread of something, and Pluto’s energies can knock you on your damn ass. And, so, this is not the time to forget or pretend that we are not in a serious pandemic. However, we may see anti-maskers go bananas—b-a-n-a-n-a-s. So be COVID conservative. Be COVID nerdy. That is my best advice to you in that regard because that’s something you can control, at least a teeny tiny bit. And maybe you can’t, but do your best. 

On a big picture level, we are looking at themes of freedom and retribution. We are looking at themes of globalism and the consequences to that—the good ones, the bad ones, the complicated ones. The potential here for revolution is powerful and potent. The trouble is who’s revolution? What kind of revolution? Something I’ve talked about before is we love on social media to say burn it all to the ground. I’ll say it. Burn it to the fucking ground. Sure, it’s satisfying to say it, but who’s in the building when we’re burning it? How do you know? I don’t know. 

It’s rough, and I’m not going to do any predicting on this one. I’m just going to say this is not the time to sit one out. This is not the time to give yourself a pass to not participate. And there are so many ways of participating. You don’t have to participate in any one specific way. But not participating—not so much. 

Now, of course, I feel like I should always clarify when I say this, if you have something real and compelling going on in your life that inhibits you from participating, of course, fucking ignore what I’m saying. Use your common sense. I’m speaking to many people at once, and so I’m speaking in general terms, slash, also, because I’m speaking about societal trends, it is important that I do say this though because we are all on call, especially if you have more inherited social capital and power. Because when we talk about Jupiter and Pluto, and we talk about the sign of Capricorn, we are looking at systems of power and how they are perpetrated. 

And because of Jupiter’s involvement, we should absolutely keep in mind the topic of religion because Jupiter does govern religion. If you were born into a Jesus based faith in the United States, you have privilege that people who were not born into those faiths do not have. And I’m not talking about whether or not it was observed in your home. I’m not talking about whether or not you believe in it. The upshot of what I’m trying to say here is use your privilege, whatever that is to make a difference however you can, no matter how small it is—keep it small. I’m down for that. Keep it small but keep momentum. This is not the time to lose momentum. Stay informed. Stay engaged. 

Now, on the 13th, fucking finally, that was so long. Oh, God, I am so sick of this fakakta Mars Retrograde. Let’s talk about it. So Mars went Retrograde on September 9th of 2020, and it’s over on the 13th of November. And it will not go Retrograde again until the end of October of 2022, okay. So, thank you because I’m pretty fucking done with that. 

Now, on a personal level, I think it’s really great if you’ve been wanting to, I don’t know, get a job, start a project, move forward with something that requires your engagement and activity, because Mars governs engagement and activity and projects and all that kind of stuff. So if you have started something and it has not been going to plan, there’s going to be a shift in energy, a beautiful shift in energy after the 13th. 

Now it’s going to be in a Retroshade for a minute, so we’re in it. But I want to just really ground you into noticing what opens up or shifts around the 13th. And depending on how intensely this particular Mars Retrograde hit your life, you’re going to notice it very, very much, sir or very, very, subtly, sir. 

Mars going direct, here’s the downside. Here’s the concern. Mars in Aries going direct can be associated with further contagions with COVID, further spread with COVID, in particular, because it is happening in the same week that Jupiter and Pluto are meeting so exactly. 

If things shift in the world, if they shift in your life around this date and in the coming weeks, I want to point your attention to this little factoid. Any changes that become material, any changes that become manifest were already changing before they showed up on the surface and demanded your attention. You have been working. Things have been changing—for better or worse, things have been changing. And now when Mars goes direct, those changes will become more material and activated. 

And if you have been tending to seeds that really don’t grow anything you want it to grow, you’re going to have to deal with that. And that’s okay. It’s not awesome, but it’s okay. You just want to as much as possible show up. Don’t just show up—show up for your more complicated emotions: your ego, your anger, your resentments. All of those feelings are going to be up this week. I mean, a non-astrologer muggle could say that they’d be up because look at the damn news, but astrologically we can see very clearly Mars going direct, Jupiter and Pluto meeting in the sky. 

These transits are deeply fucking activating. They’re activating, and they’re going to absolutely force us to confront and engage with our anger, our sense of I deserve that, or I don’t deserve that. As I’ve said before, thinking you’re the worst and thinking you’re the best are both symptoms of an unhealthy ego. I would say a lot of the worst behaviors perpetrated by humans come out of self-hate. They come out of a lack of ability or willingness to feel bad feelings. 

So if you find yourself distracting and distracting and distracting and distracting from your anger or your ambition, your passions, you’re probably going to be a dick to people sometimes. And you’re people, so you might be a dick to yourself. But you’re going to be a dick to someone, somehow if you don’t find a healthy, creative outlet. 

So this is where we want to all have grace when someone else is a jerk. I’m not encouraging anyone to accept abuse or not have boundaries but to have a little grace, because all of us act out some fucking times. And part of having grace with others—really an essential part of having grace with others is having boundaries that we uphold ourselves. Because here’s the fucking rub, I can’t have grace for you when you’re in your bullshit if I don’t have boundaries around your bullshit. If I just take your bullshit, then what I’m doing is I’m putting myself in a position where I am eating bullshit, and that becomes my shit really quickly. 

So being nice, being subservient, these things they’re a long walk on a short pier, as it were. What you want to be able to do is recognize this person is acting out, and it’s not about me, and it’s not about us. It’s about them. Them in their bullshit. And, so, I can kindly but firmly set a boundary to be like, “I’m not available right now. I’m not going to engage in this way at this time because I can see you’re in your shit, and I don’t want to be a part of your shit.” 

And it doesn’t have to be a defensive thing. It doesn’t have to be a defensive thing because, honestly, you have a right to have a boundary. And other people have a right to not be comfortable with your boundary, to not understand your boundary, to hate your boundary. Everyone has a right to all that kind of shit. So practice. Practice being aware of these themes. Practice noticing how they play out inside of you, in dynamic with others, and from others to you. And that’s people in your material life, like in your apartment, people you hang out with, and people online. 

Stop compartmentalizing people online. We are all living online right now in a really big way, and, so, it’s important to recognize that you being shitty online is you being shitty. You eating shit online is you eating shit. Don’t compartmentalize because Saturn, tick tock, is moving into Aquarius by mid-December, so soon, and how we engage online is going to become increasingly important. Can you believe I said increasingly important? But I did. And I mean it. So pay attention. It’s a great time to garner greater self-awareness around this. 

And that brings me to my final transit of the week. On the 14th of November, the Sun is forming an exact sextile to Jupiter and Pluto, who are still real tight in the sky. Sun sextile to Jupiter and Pluto—fucking wonderful. Oh, clarifying. We may see some sort of results, some sort of forward momentum, some sort of answers on and around this date. It’s really good. It’s fortifying. It’s inspiring. This can be a date where we make real progress. But it takes your participation because just like with the trine, as I talked about earlier, sextile—it doesn’t force your hand. It doesn’t force action. 

And listen, if you just need a fucking break, if you just need to feel good, this transit actually promises that you could get that—you could make that for yourself. And if you have the capacity to share that good, to create good for others, hey now, that’s not the worst thing. So go ahead and try, that’s all I’m saying. Go ahead and try. 

If you have a dear diary, this a is a great time to not just write in it but to look back—look back at how far you’ve come, at what you’ve been coping with. See if you can find patterns. See if there are roots to your issues that you’re not totally aware of. Here’s a pro tip for that, when you’re reading through your dear diary, the things you’ve written in the past, there’s certain things you’re going to find that you repeat, that you say over and over again. Maybe certain words you use a lot, but more likely it’s certain ideas and concepts and feelings that come up over and over again. Those things are the most important things to you, even if you don’t think they are, even if you’re not identified with them. Those things are the things that are begging for your attention, your care, and your love. 

This is a great time to cultivate greater and deeper self-awareness to activate growth and real change. This applies on a social level. If you know you want to get involved in something—you want to get involved with an organization, either to support it, signal boost it, or even participate, find a role to play in a movement—which hint, hint, I really hope a huge wave of us do—this date, on and around the 14th, is a great time to do the investigation to find that organization or to reach out and make contact with people. 

And I want to be really clear in case it’s not obvious, when I say make contact with people, I don’t mean to DM activists and politicians and leaders in any way. I mean to go to their websites or their organization’s websites and fill out the contact form. If you want to be of help to someone or something, then follow the steps that they have laid out for you because that is their way of having a boundary. This is how I’m telling you I am willing to help you is what a contact form on a website basically is saying. 

Okay. That’s your damn horoscope. I’m going to run it through because I know I used a lot of fucking words here today. It goes like this. On the 9th, we have an exact Sun trine to Neptune. On the 10th, Mercury moves back into Scorpio. On the 12th, we have a meaningful Jupiter conjunction to Pluto in the sign of Capricorn. On the 13th, dodododooo, Mars goes direct. On the 14th, the Sun forms a sextile to Jupiter and Pluto. And that’s it. I think it’s enough.

Now, my loves, per ushe, I want to invite you to write me questions over at ghostofapodcast.com. You can ask me to talk about any particular topic that you want to learn more about, about astrology or whatever for the midweek episodes. And just FYI, the last episode I dropped—the last midweek episode I dropped I think is really important, and I want to, again, invite you to check it out. It’s about how to stay present, emotionally present. And it’s a pretty short episode. I just wanted to throw it out as a resource because I know we’re all having a hard time of it right now. So you may want to check that out.

You already know I’ve got a Patreon. If you’re in the market for some cute, useful astrology, hit me up. Okay. Bye.