Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I’m your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I’m an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I’m going to give you your weekly horoscope and no bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

My loves, I hope that you’re having a lovely week. And I am so thrilled to share with you part one out of two of my conversation with Amanda Seales on Small Doses podcast. And let me tell you, if you don’t know Amanda Seales, you are in for a real treat. I mean, obviously, if you do know Amanda Seales, you already know you’re in for a real treat. But basically, Amanda Seales is everything. She’s an activist, a comedian, an actor, the creator of Smart Funny & Black. She’s a rapper, a host, an inspirer of my heart and yours—really, she’s just an inspirer of hearts. What are you going to do? She’s a damn Cancer. Enjoy.

Amanda Seales: Welcome to another episode of Small Doses. I’m particularly excited about this episode because this has come together in a very organic way. And I have talked about this person on the show, and now she’s on the show. Your pronoun is she?

Jessica: Yes. Yes, thank you for asking.

Amanda Seales: Okay. Now, she’s on the show. So I like when things like this happen. So let me tell you a little back story, and I’m not even sure if you know this, Jessica Lanyadoo. By the way, we’ll get into why I refer to you as Lanyadoo on the show, and then learned that that was the improper pronunciation.

Jessica: It’s not bad. It’s really not bad. And I feel—it’s Lanyadoo, but Lanyadoo is the most common pronunciation, and I feel like it’s fine.

Amanda Seales: I refuse to mispronounce people’s names. I have explained that the actual last name is derived—wait. It is a Jewish—wait, give it to me correctly.

Jessica: Sure. Sure. Sure. So, okay. So we’re Iraqi Jews, which, back in the day, fled the inquisition. So we basically—when the Lanyadoos were fleeing the inquisition, they fled to Syria, Egypt, and Iraq. And I think my family went first to Syria but then was for centuries in Baghdad, until the Jews were kicked out. 

But all of the Lanyadoos that fled, as far as I know, what happens is we all spelled it differently, so I think we all pronounce it differently. But I’ve never met a Lanyadoo I wasn’t related to, so I don’t know for sure.

Amanda Seales: Really?

Jessica: Yeah.

Amanda Seales: And so, and you said it’s a Jewish dialect of Arabic.

Jessica: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So that’s what my father’s first language is, and he’s from Baghdad. Yeah.

Amanda Seales: Wow. 

Jessica: Yeah. Not a lot of us. I mean, there’s not a lot of us in North America in particular. 

Amanda Seales: Right. Like, Seales, there’s we have a Granada faction, and we have a Saint Vincent faction. And so, I every so often get DM’s from people on Instagram like, “I think we’re related.” 

Jessica: And you’re like, yes, we probably are.

Amanda Seales: Probably are.

Jessica: That’s the thing. That’s the thing. Yeah, it’s very rare that I meet someone who’s got a similar background. 

Amanda Seales: So the way that I was introduced to your work was because I have a friend who kind of just hobbies around with astrology. She learns, but she—I mean, she doesn’t—I say that in the sense that she doesn’t do readings as a career. But she studies how to properly do readings, and she can do your chart for you and those types of things. 

And so, she had sent me an episode of your podcast. I want to say—I want to say I know the episode number; I think it was 139. And it was a particular episode where you were talking about not abandoning yourself. And she was like, “I just feel like this was such a good—this is such a good podcast.” So I was listening to it, and I was in a particularly low state, and you were like—and you have a voice that’s very encouraging and also soothing.

Jessica: Thank you.

Amanda Seales: Yeah. But it’s not babying. 

Jessica: No.

Amanda Seales: That’s the thing. Do you know what I’m saying? It’s not this, you know, it’s not—it doesn’t feel affectationed [sp].

Jessica: Thank you.

Amanda Seales: And so, you were like, “Yeah, you need to get up.” And it’s rare, but every so often you feel like someone’s on the podcast talking to you, like, “Bitch, get up.” And I was like, “I need to get up. She told me not to abandon myself.” And I went and did some boxing, and I felt better. And I was like—and those words have stayed with me. Because I’ve had moments since then, and those words have stayed with me. And I was on the podcast, and I was on my Instagram like singing your praises because I was like, “This woman woke me up!”

Jessica: Thank you.

Amanda Seales: And then I tagged you, and you were like, “I’m a supporter,” and I was like ahhhhhhh! And so, one of my intentions this year is to expand my circle of folks that I speak to. I feel like I—especially within the COVID of it all, you got more insular, and I want to just be conscious about the fact that there’s more—there’s abundance. And you are abundantly informed in the art and space and energies of what some people call the woo-woo.

Jessica: Le woo. Let’s make it French because it’s fancier. Let’s just go with le woo. 

Amanda Seales: Le woo. Now, let me tell y’all, I have had a reading by Jessica Lanyadoo. And, first off, can you please tell folks how you describe yourself. What is the space of your work?

Jessica: Sure, absolutely. But can I first say that we have a very strong mutual appreciation society, and I stan everything you do, and I have such great appreciation for you and all that you put into the world. I just—

Amanda Seales: —Thank you.

Jessica: No, thank you. No, thank you on behalf of the people and of me. 

So, okay. Okay. So that said, I am an astrologer. And I would say I started studying astrology and Tarot around the same time. And I work with Tarot, but first and foremost, I’m an astrologer. I’m also a psychic and a medium and an animal communicator. 

And you have the cutest animal sniffing at your neck, so I just, I mean, I just feel like that’s—I don’t know, it just feels adorable and lovely. 

So, yeah, so I do all of those things. I’m very comfortable with the term woo-woo. I feel very much like I’m very self-aware that I’m woo-woo. Because I’m also a Capricorn and crusty and from Montreal, and so, I’m not like a love and light woo. I’m a let’s use all of our resources and all of our tools to deal with this material world woo. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Amanda Seales: And your podcast, Ghost of a Podcast, really does that. It really teaches that in a real way. And just so you know, her podcast, each episode’s split up into two—it will be like a question that someone asks or sometimes you just rant—it’s not even rant, you just…

Jessica: No, no. I rant. You can say I rant. Because I really do.

Amanda Seales: No, you just wax poetic about something that needs to get spoken on, which, often times in the last few months, has been related to these uprisings and voting and white people’s responsibility to undo racist paradigms etc., etc., etc.

Jessica: Yes.

Amanda Seales: So that was the other part that I was like oh, this is a [indiscernible 00:08:15] white women. So before I even saw you and knew that you had all these multi ethnicities going on. I was like, “This is a [indiscernible 00:08:21] white lady from Canada.” And now I find out that you live in…

Jessica: Oakland, California. But I am from Canada. But I’m from Canada, hence the—this is the problem with the Canadian accent. Whenever I’m enunciating or being like really intentional, the Canadian comes out. Because Canada has enunciation really together, as far as I’m concerned. So, yeah, it does really come out on the podcast more than it often will. Do you know what I mean? Just because it’s—because I’m being really intentional about what I say.

Amanda Seales: But being from Oakland—I mean, being in Oakland, like, further—it’s like whatever enunciation Canada brings, the wokeness of the Oakness [sp] overpowers it.

Jessica: Thank you very much. I will take that.

Amanda Seales: Because I was definitely like, she’s like really tapped in be in Canada.

Jessica: Well, you know, Canadians are tapped in. But I also know exactly what you’re saying, and I receive it.

Amanda Seales: Oakland is a different vibe. Like, literally, it’s the home of pimping and panthers. So it’s just a different vibe. 

Jessica: And it’s a different life. I mean, I think that this is, I mean, very, very real. You know…

Amanda Seales: Yes.

Jessica: Don’t even get me started on the pros and cons of Oakland. But I do love it here, first and foremost, slash, also—

Amanda Seales: I feel like San Francisco and Oakland have very concentrated elements of the things that the nation has been uprising about in tandem in a way that—I mean, when we see like Oscar Grant, that’s like one of many. You know what I mean?

Jessica: One of many—yes. 

Amanda Seales: Of course, Fruitvale Station helped to amplify that story, but for all intents and purposes, that happens because it’s a part of a series of actions; it’s not just a fluke. 

And then we talk about gentrification and the housing problem in The Bay, and it just goes on and on and on. We talk about Tajai, who was a terrible person I dated who was from Oakland, so there’s this levels thing.

Jessica: Also, I’ll say—

Amanda Seales: —He’s the only person I’ve dated who’s name I say and continuously will always shit on ‘til the end of time.

Jessica: I really just like—when you said it, I heard like the store, Target. 

Amanda Seales: No. I said a person. Tajai from the group Mighty Souls of Mischief.

Jessica: But I really got into the store. I don’t know, I just felt like, that’s how I say Target, so I just kind of ran with that. 

I will also say something that I don’t hear people talk about much, which is—because I’ve been in Oakland, I think, six years now, and I was in San Francisco for like twenty. And this is the only place that I’ve ever lived where police send out dogs. I’ve never experienced that before. Police will be like—they’ll be on a loudspeaker, and they’ll be like, “Get inside your home; we’ve released the dogs.” I’ve never—

Amanda Seales: —What?

Jessica: Yes. Right? You’re shocked by that.

Amanda Seales: What are the dogs released to do? 

Jessica: To track down criminals—people that they are seeking. I’ve experienced this twice living here, and it’s shocking and quite frightening, honestly. It’s like a shocking form of policing. And I’m shocked that we also don’t talk about it more frequently. It’s so shocking to me that it happens and that I don’t hear people talking about it, that it makes me question have I really experienced this? But I, for sure, have. Yeah, so it’s a really like—there’s so much to talk about there, and I’m not an expert in policing, certainly not in Oakland. But it’s—oh, your dog is so cute. I know it’s off topic, but my God. 

Amanda Seales: No it’s not; we’re talking about dogs. But this is a not a—

Jessica: —A very different dog.

Amanda Seales: If Geordie [sp] was released, he would just jump and try and hump everybody’s leg. Geordie is definitely here for everybody. He’s like, “Hey, look at you. Look at you. Look at you.” 

Jessica: That’s the kind of dog I’m into.

Amanda Seales: In the Movie Up, I was like, “I love you,” that’s Geordie. Everyone, he’s like, “I love you.” 

Actually, you know what though? The only time I’ve ever seen Geordie bark at a person was we were at the beach and a police officer pulled up on one of those Segway’s, and Geordie was not having it.

Jessica: Was it the Segway or the cop or the combo?

Amanda Seales: I think it was the combo because I don’t know that he—the cop pulled up in front of us on the Segway and just parked, and Geordie was just like—but other humans had come up and talked to me, and he wasn’t barking at them. So I’m sure the Segway had something to do with it. But other humans weren’t on Segway’s. And so the fact that the cop felt the need to be on a Segway at the beach.

Jessica: At the beach. Well, you know, I mean…

Amanda Seales: Imagine chasing somebody down on a Segway though at the beach. I can’t even fathom how that makes any sense.

Jessica: It doesn’t. 

Amanda Seales: It’s very L.A.

Jessica: Because it doesn’t. Because, yeah.

Amanda Seales: It’s very L.A. It’s Malibu. It’s like this is policing, whatever. I think all of it is a fool. 

Okay, so I digress. How did you enter into this life path?

Jessica: You know, I have a really boring answer because I was always in it. It is never an entering. It was—

Amanda Seales: I mean, were you four, and you were like, “Oh, these are spirits.”? 

Jessica: No. I didn’t know I was psychic until I was thirty. I didn’t believe in psychics or animal communicators at all. Like an asshole Capricorn that I am, I was just like, “It doesn’t exist,” until I experienced it for myself, which is so stupid. But it was what I did. 

When I was—I remember—so I was born in 1975. I remember in 1981 or 2 sitting on Hot Wheels and saying to myself really firmly, “I’m going to keep all my wisdom teeth because I’m a Capricorn.” Which Capricorn does govern teeth and wisdom. And I am forty-six, and I still have all my wisdom teeth—knock on wood. Hold on, knock on wood. 

So that was like as young as I remember thinking about and talking about astrology. And then it progressed to a point where for my twelfth birthday, my mother bought me a Sydney Omarr—do you remember Sydney Omarr? I don’t know if you’re—are you old enough for that?

Amanda Seales: No. I was born in 81.

Jessica: Okay, well, I mean, I’m old. 

Amanda Seales: No.

Jessica: I mean, a little. A little. Give me that. Forty-six—it’s a little. I’m in the middle. 

Amanda Seales: We’re refined. You’re refined. 

Jessica: Okay, there you go. There you go. So Sydney Omarr was the super market scroll. Like you remember those supermarket scrolls? Maybe they didn’t have them in the US. But supermarket scroll horoscopes—no, you didn’t have that?

Amanda Seales: I don’t remember these.

Jessica: It might have only been in Canada. But, anyways, he was like a cheesy ass astrologer, but she got me this book about Capricorn. It was like a big book for my twelfth birthday, and I studied it like a Bible until I went to an alternative [indiscernible 00:15:05] in Montreal where I’m from, and I took my first class—it was an introduction to astrology from a Jungian perspective. And I was like, okay. This is what I’m going to do with my life. And within six months I came out of the closet, and I was like so I’m going to move to San Francisco to be a gay astrologer. And that is what I did—without a whole lot of forethought. 

Amanda Seales: But what made you say, “I’m going to go take a class.”? 

Jessica: Excellent question. There was not a lot of classes in the school, and astrology was just like—I was obsessed with it; I was interested in it, and I was like I could actually learn it, like properly learn it from a real astrologer, who—he taught psychology in the main college, and then in the small, alternative college I went to, he taught astrology with a psychological bent, which is what I practice—very kind of psychological. I mean I practice many forms, but—

Amanda Seales: —You speak more to the Jungian, like what—because what you’re describing, I just learned about because a friend of mine—a really good friend of mine who I did gymnastics with is getting her PHD in that area, in—

Jessica: —Interesting.

Amanda Seales: —psychology with the astrological element running through it from a Jungian perspective.

Jessica: Is she doing it at CIIS?

Amanda Seales: I don’t know where she’s doing it, but we get together every Christmas— that’s part of our tradition. I mean, I think we’re going on 16 Christmas’s now. And she is also who introduced me to astrology in a real way. 

Because, of course, like you said, my mom got me the astrology book. I’ve always been a Cancer, and I always had the birth stones and what not. But it was her who was like, “I speak to an astrologist every year, and she has changed my life more than once because she’s helped me keep my eyes focused in the right—like keep my self and my spirit and my eyes all focused in the right direction.” And so ever since then, I was talking to an astrologist every year—shout out to Michelle out there in Gainesville, Florida. 

But can you just give folks a little insight into what you say—what you mean when you say from a Jungian perspective.

Jessica: Sure. And I should totally come clean to say I have not studied Jung, like your friend has. But there’s basically many forms of astrology, and this is where people who only know about horoscopes are really surprised. 

There’s real estate astrology, finance astrology, medical astrology, psychological astrology, mundane astrology. There are so many branches of astrology, and when we talk about something like Jungian astrology, it’s astrologers who are influenced by the kind of like psychological teachings of Carl Jung, who he himself—I don’t know if he was an astrologer, or if he was an astrology student. I think there’s some question about that, but his work is very on the woo—very on the woo.

Amanda Seales: But he was a psych…

Jessica: Yes. He was psychologist. Yeah. Yeah, and he’s like—I think like Jungian and Freud are both like highly regarded psychological people. But, for reals, I don’t know because I didn’t ever study to be a therapist or—you know, it’s not like—I didn’t do a lot of schooling. 

Amanda Seales: But I think it’s fascinating to hear though that there is a psychology school of thought that takes astrology into account in terms of how it deals with patients and the unique ways that we are dealing with the world. 

Jessica: Yeah. And more and more I am seeing that I have clients and fans and people just on social who are therapists, who are licensed therapists who use astrology in their practice or Tarot. 

Because the reality is astrology—the way I like to describe it to people is if you’re looking at a birth chart, it's like you’re looking at your hard drive. And so, you might not use—like, I have a Mac computer. I don’t use all my computer, but I could at one point be like, oh I’m going to start a podcast, so now I’m using GarageBand, right. You start using programs. 

There’s a way that the more you understand your hard drive, the more you understand what you’re working with, the easier it is to optimize your life. And so, astrology does that. 

You know, something I often see is that people will come into my office for a consultation, and they’ll be like, “Oh, I have an anxiety disorder; I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety.” And I’ll look at their chart, and I’ll be like, “Oh, it actually looks more like depression, astrologically.” And so, we will have a conversation. I don’t diagnose; I’m not a therapist, but we’ll have a conversation about are the treatments for anxiety working? And it’s always no when it looks like a misdiagnosis, and so we talk about how can you—how can we talk about your lived experience so that you’re using language that therapists understand so you get that correct diagnoses.

Because the thing about psychology that’s tricky is it requires the kind of user—you—to be able to self-disclose and describe yourself well, which a lot of people just aren’t great at, for a variety of reasons, right. 

If you ask me like what hurts? It’s hard for me to describe it, but as a psychic, I can tell you what hurts you. You know what I mean? So it’s just like—people are weird. We’re weird. It is what it is, but yeah. 

Amanda Seales: So you said that you didn’t realize you were psychic until you were 30. The same for me.

Jessica: Interesting. And was it 30 or 29? Like right around there. 

Amanda Seales: It was 29.

Jessica: Yeah, it’s the Saturn Return. You know what that is?

Amanda Seales: Yeah, yeah. Yes, it was definitely Saturn Return. 

Jessica: It was the Saturn Return. Ditto.

Amanda Seales: But here’s the thing, I think I’ve lost it.

Jessica: Um-um. I don’t believe that.

Amanda Seales: Not that I’ve lo-,—okay, let me—so again, learning how to use the language to express what we’re actually dealing with. I feel like I have lost the ability to tap into it the way—or it’s showing up maybe in a different way that I can’t recognize. 

Jessica: Mm-hmm.

Amanda Seales: Because at—for a stretch of time I would have this sensation of my neck burning.

Jessica: Yes, I used to get that too.

Amanda Seales: Okay? 

Jessica: Yeah.

Amanda Seales: And so, it would typically be attached to—one, every time I met a man, my neck would burn. Every time.

Jessica: Every man or a special man?

Amanda Seales: Every man.

Jessica: Interesting.

Amanda Seales: Every man, my neck would burn. And then my neck would burn when I forgot something. So if I—a good example is I’m driving to do a gig to deejay, and I forgot my hard drive. And my neck started burning, and at the light I stopped. When I got to the light, I was like your neck is burning, what did you forget? And I was like, oh, fuck; I forgot my hard drive. 

So it would show up in that—and it would also let me know if an argument was coming down my path or some type of obstacle, so it was kind of like a foreboding. 

Because I would always know off. I would always know oh, our flights going to be delayed. And then people would be like, “How do you know that?” I’m like, “Our flights going to be delayed. My neck is burning; our flights going to be delayed.” And then the fucking flights delayed. 

Jessica: When did it stop?

Amanda Seales: So I want to say it stopped when I dated my ex. Because I think he created a block. However, I mean, I had it with—I got it with him. I mean, my neck was like, “neek, neek, neek!” And I was like, “It’s fine.”

Jessica: I was like what did you not listen to that your guides are like, “Cool, you want to change the game? We’ll change the game.”

Amanda Seales: I was like, “It’s fine.” And I distinctly remember pulling up to our first date and my neck being like, “noooooo!!” And I’m just like, “It’s fine. It’s fine.” 

And then you have said something that I talk about too, which is learning the difference between your intuition and your anxieties. And so, I think that in some ways it would show up as an anxiety, and then in other ways it would show up as an intuition. 

With men, it typically showed up to me as anxiety. Because I’m not saying that it wasn’t accurate for him, but because it happened with every dude, it was like oh, you just have anxiety around men in general. Which is natural because I have full father issues. I’m 39; I don’t have daddy issues anymore. I have father issues; they’re refined.

Jessica: Absolutely. Yes. Yes. Yes. But also—

Amanda Seales: —So I just say that to say that I don’t feel like I get those warnings anymore. I mean, like it would literally be like this, like, me and my—I distinctly remember one time where my mom and I were in car; we were in a cab going downtown in New York, and my neck started burning. And I was like, “An issue is going to arise.” I just said that to myself. I was like, “An issue’s about to arise.” 

And I would have people say like, “Well, when you do that, the issue’s obviously going to arise.” And I’m like, “No. I’m not determining what’s happening; I’m seeing what’s happening.” And in my mind, it was something about the universe is alerting me to give me a tool to change course, and this is the woo-woo, right. Because other people—

Jessica: —This is the woo, yeah. Yeah.

Amanda Seales: —other people would be like, “No. That’s just you projecting your fear,” or whatever, whatever. And I’m like, “No, this has been shown to me.” 

And so, sure enough, we pulled up to the place, and the driver wouldn’t stop us—wouldn’t put us in front of the door. And I was like, “Yo, can you pull up, so we can get in front of the door.” And he was like, “No. Get out.” And he just became very aggressive, like, drop of a hat. And I was like, “Yo, I saw this. I saw this.” 

And so there were times though where this type of thing would happen, and what I would be able to do is like change course. 

Jessica: Mm-hmm. But not always.

Amanda Seales: Not always.

Jessica: No. that’s the way it works.

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Jessica: I had this moment where I was once driving on a freeway going from San Francisco to Oakland, and I was in a car, and I saw the kind of freeway just across from me just catch in flames. And I was like, holy shit, there’s going to be a massive fire. And when I got home, sure enough there was like some car had exploded, and there was a fire on the road. And it was at that moment—it was in my early thirties where I was like, oh, it’s not always useful. 

And it was a really important thing because we want it to be useful because we are so kind of product driven. We’re like my worth is in what I do, so if I have psychic intuition, it has to be for something. And that’s just not how it works. 

The idea that we are disconnected from each other and all things is something we’ve really been taught, and it’s something that we have developed as we live in cities, and we’re so much closer to each other, and everything is overwhelming, and we’re constantly taking in data, then we have to shut down our—what people call extra senses. But I actually don’t think of them as extra senses at all—like at all. I think of them as simply senses. 

What it’s really about—so there’s like two things that are really important for me to say. One is what it’s really about is receiving and not seeking. And the reason why most of us are not getting guidance—we’re not hearing our intuition is because we’re too busy trying to figure things out. And when you’re going and seeking and trying to figure things out, you’re not in a state of receptivity. 

That’s why when you’re in the shower you remember things. Or like when you’re meditating, you can hear your guidance. It’s not because the shower or meditation on its own is magic; it's that you’re in a state of receptivity. 

And then the other thing I wanted to say is my experience with my guides is that they change it up frequently. So like I got the thing on the back of the neck for years. I had a feeling of like my ear being squoze whenever I was supposed to pay attention. It was like my guides were like dragging me by my ear.

Amanda Seales: Oh, wow.

Jessica: My guides are—I mean, I think they’re kind of assholes but in a very funny way, and I enjoy that, so it works for me. But I also sometimes get like my thumb, it feels like it’s being squoze. At a certain point I was smelling things all the time. 

For me, my guidance is just like keeping me on my toes, and the reason why I think this happens for so many people—not everyone maybe as much as my experience is, is because as soon as you become attached to the way it’s supposed to look or feel, you are no longer in a true state of receptivity. 

Now, you’re looking for that feeling at the back of your neck, so when your guides were like, “Hey, dummy, get out of this car, and shit’s going to do down,” and you were like, “Ha, ha, ha,” then your guides were like, “Okay, so we’re going to have to work with something else.” 

So my guess is that—because this ability doesn’t go away. It’s not that it goes away; it’s that we re-orient to it, and we have to kind of adjust. And this adjustment is usually one of self-acceptance and being present with yourself. This like back to me saying don’t abandon yourself. 

And I repeat a lot of things I say on my podcast and to my clients because the most fundamental changes we can make in ourselves are very subtle and simple. We like to make them really complicated because we’re smart, but in my experience, it’s like if you practice not abandoning yourself, staying present with yourself, and being receptive to your own feelings, thoughts, and guidance, life gets a lot easier; your choices get easier. 

And it’s not that the situation gets easier—that doesn’t happen. It’s that it becomes clearer—oh, this is out of integrity for me, or I am being told that this is—this is like get out of this car, and this is wrong. And like maybe you’re still going to get out of the fucking car because you have a date and you have a plan, but you go in with a different set of boundaries, and you are more kind of self-protective, like in that specific example. 

And I think that this is where TV has done us wrong—movies has done us wrong. This kind of idea that psychic is—and I hate to say a purple robe because I’m wearing a purple cape. It’s so embarrassing; I did it without realizing. But it’s like a purple, velvet cape—mine’s wool—and it’s like you know everything. 

When people hear I’m psychic, they’re like, “Oh, tell me x.” And the reality is there is pre-destiny, but there’s also freewill, and it’s a dance. It’s a dance. And so, we can use our freewill within our circumstances, within our nature, within our pre-destiny, and we can change that pre-destiny. 

So like you said, you got guidance, and you sometimes could change things, or it prepared you to respond with greater intention because you weren’t shocked and then shocked. You were like prepared and then shocked, which gives you more time. 

Amanda Seales: Yeah. 

Jessica: Yeah. And this is the thing, and this is something else I talk about on the podcast a lot is the space between your reactions and your responses—yours, mine, everyone’s—the more space we can create between our reactions and our responses, usually, the better our responses are.

Amanda Seales: Every time, man.

Jessica: Every time. 

Amanda Seales: But sometimes you just feel like you got to, like, right now. 

Jessica: Yeah.

Amanda Seales: In the time.

Jessica: Okay, so not to interrupt you, but I think this is really, really, really important. We are not supposed to be perfect. You know, from one perfectionist to another.

Amanda Seales: Hoo! 

Jessica: Listening to your guides and being spiritual and doing the work doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Nobody’s perfect; that’s not a thing. Humans aren’t perfect. Cats, dogs, they’re not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. And fucking up—

Amanda Seales: —What even is perfect, right? 

Jessica: I mean…

Amanda Seales: That’s the other thing.

Jessica: Right. What is per-,—exactly.

Amanda Seales: That is a very subjective thing that we each fashion for ourselves and determine whether or not we can—like some days perfect really—like, I would say day to day, perfect changes for me. And at my healthiest, perfect is that I tried my best.

Jessica: Same. Perfect is I’m not attached to what happens here; I just did it because it felt like it was the right thing. 

I’ll tell you, I thought the Dalai Lama said stupid shit. Nobody’s perfect. People are—we’re not supposed to be prefect—

Amanda Seales: —And he was a racist pedophile. Nobody’s perfect.

Jessica: Who was?

Amanda Seales: Gandhi.

Jessica: Gandhi was a pedophile? I knew he was racist, and I knew he was fucked up to his wife, but he was—ah, okay. Well, see…

Amanda Seales: Now, see, in their context he wasn’t because it’s like fifteen, smifteen. But…

Jessica: I’m with you.

Amanda Seales: You know.

Jessica: Yes.

Amanda Seales: We all—we know better, we do better. And we’re like, no, that’s still not it.

Jessica: And this is the thing that I think is kind of like a barrier of entry for a lot of people with le woo, if I can, again, make it French—keep it Canadian—is that people imagine that it has to be right all the time in order for it to be real. 

Whereas you can bring your car to the mechanic, and they fix it—the problem half the time, and you’re like that’s a good mechanic. You can press, I don’t know, website.com, and sometimes it doesn’t load. And that does not invalidate the existence of the internet. 

There’s a way that we expect perfection from spirituality, and I think it’s a way to disempower people from having their own relationship to their own guidance and the divine. Because, again, we bring this perfectionism and this like product management to our own senses, and it does us a disservice. 

Amanda Seales: I also feel like the construction of religion informs that as well. 

Jessica: Yep.

Amanda Seales: I feel like the construction of religion, often times, kind of sends us down this road of spirituality as this like perfected concept that works a certain way every time. And that—hold on one second. Geordie, off. 

Jessica: Is he always this cute, though?

Amanda Seales: Is that what we’re calling it? We’re calling it cute?

Jessica: I am. It’s not bugging me. I mean, I can see how it would be bugging you. But he’s like a goat. He’s just jumping over every part of you. Is he always like this? 

Amanda Seales: Yes, and it is disconcerting. Sometimes when I’m in—like I was at a store the other day. It was a dog store, and there was another dog in there, and so he was excited to see the other dog. And this man who had the dog was like, “Is he like this all the time because oh, my God.” And I just felt like why are you judging my dog? 

Jessica: See that’s when you take the fire in the back of the neck and you throw it at him. You know what I mean? That is when you take that fire—I mean, your dog is like, he’s just like—

Amanda Seales: —I mean he’s a puppy. He’s very, like, wild because he’s an animal.

Jessica: He’s also bringing up your energy. He’s jumping over you to like—he’s doing something to your energy; that’s what he’s—it’s very cute. It’s very cute.

Amanda Seales: Yes. I mean, Geordie is like—look at him. He’s just like “Ha, ha, ha; you’re talking about me.”

Jessica: So cute.

Amanda Seales: As we are getting—we are getting closer because the relationship between a dog and a person is different than a cat and a person. And I really did not—off. Off. And I just didn’t understand just how different it is. It’s more like a child. 

Jessica: They’re much more needy. They’re less independent, eh? That’s what scares me about dogs—the neediness.

Amanda Seales: Yes. But their neediness, again, it’s more like an atten-;—the attentiveness of a child. Their neediness isn’t even just about oh, I want attention from you. It’s more so they require you to be more attentive because they just get into more shit. They’re a lot more—they are just not as intuitive as cats. 

Dogs can jump off something and break a leg, whereas cats can jump from three stories, land on four feet, and look at you like ahahaha, and keep it going. Do you know what I mean?

Jessica: Yes. That is the perfect interpretation of a cat. I feel like that should go in some dictionary somewhere. What a cat is—yes, agreed. Yes. 

Amanda Seales: Like, you don’t have to potty train a cat. You don’t have to tell them when to eat. Cats will not—cats very—to my knowledge, at least, my cats—my cats don’t eat themselves into gluttony. Whereas a dog, if you give this dog all this food that it likes, it’s going to eat it.

Jessica: Yeah, all of it. All of it. And this your first dog?

Amanda Seales: Yes. And I wanted a dog all my life, and my mom was like it’s just too much. It’s just too much. And I was like whatever. And now that I have it, I’m like okay. I see what you’re saying. So I don’t want to become an L.A. dog owner and take my dog to doggy daycare; however, it may go down. 

Jessica: However, you have bookmarked it on your desktop and—

Amanda Seales: —Well, also, I just want to make sure—and this is the thing I didn’t anticipate, but you really are like I want to give this dog the best life. And I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have a child, but I’m just like, yes, you need to have experiences. 

And I don’t like when people anthropomorphize and give human emotions and desires onto animals, so I didn’t take that seriously. And then I got this dog, and I really do be feeling like he is enjoying certain experiences. Like, we’re at the beach, and he’s like, “Oh, I like this.” 

Jessica: Of course, yes. This is—okay, so this is—we’re off topic, but let’s go. Agreed around the anthropomor-,—I can’t say it either, so we’re just going to just agree that that’s not great. 

Which is why I don’t fuck with animal astrology. Doesn’t work like that. Astrology works for humans. We’ve studied it for humans, and humans and dogs are different than humans and cats and ladybugs and all of that. Partially because time is different, right.

Amanda Seales: That’s what I was going to say, yes.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah, how we’re measuring time. But I will say this, dogs are people. So I’m not saying they’re humans, but they have personhood. They have thoughts, and they—and as an animal communicator, I can assure you they are listening.

Amanda Seales: They’re sentient.

Jessica: They are understanding. Of course, they are. They are—of course they are. And it’s like one of these things that I think back to the not trusting that we do where we talk to our animal friends. We know that they understand us. We can feel that we are connected, and then we talk ourselves out of it because we don’t want to sound silly. 

And I just—the sad thing about that is that they know that that’s what we’re doing. And I say we—I don’t do that, but animals know that that’s what we’re doing, and it hurts their feels. And so, it’s a good thing to—I know, I’m sorry. But it’s a good thing to know because being willing to see the personhood in animals is not silly—even if you eat meat, it’s not silly. 

I think it’s really—it’s a good way to stay present with the dignity and all life. And it has a cascading effect on your psyche to be able to do that. And it’s just remarkable how much we avoid for fear of being silly. I mean, it really—it’s something.

Learn about colonialism—past, present, and ongoing. Educate yourself about whose land you’re living on, and, if you can, make a monetary donation or pay a land tax to that tribe. Visit Our Native Land at native-land.ca. The link is in show notes.

Amanda Seales: In 2017, I called my father who I never talk to, but who has brilliance in particular areas of knowledge and information, right. And one of that is sci-fi. My sci-fi obsession, I can one thousand percent give—that’s from my father.

Jessica: Love sci-fi. Love it.

Amanda Seales: By the way, anybody’s who’s watching The Expanse—oh, my God! 

Jessica: Oh, is there a new season? 

Amanda Seales: Is there a new season.

Jessica: Stop. Stop. I’m so excited. The reveal—wait.

Amanda Seales: It is going to take up your life for—because it’s eight episodes; we’re eight episodes in right now, and when I tell you—

Jessica: —When did it drop? Before I get too excited, I want to make sure…

Amanda Seales: December 15th.

Jessica: Huh, there is a new season. 

Amanda Seales: And when I tell you it is so intense.

Jessica: I love that show. 

Amanda Seales: But this season outdoes every other season. And every season—like, I’m telling you. I’m telling you. I am texting—so Dominique Tipper plays Naomi Nagata on the show, and after every episode I’m like, “Baaaa! Your character is a beast!” 

And I love that they—the thing about sci-fi—see this is what happens with—I knew this was going to happen with you. I was like we’re going to do seven episodes in one episode. But the thing about sci-fi, which actually does attach to the animal stuff that we’re talking about, is that often times you get these archetypal characters that don’t—that actually lack humanity because they’re like, oh, we’re in science fiction land. And so it becomes more like kind of getting the plot out. And they lose character development in that process. 

And that’s what makes movies like Star Wars—that’s what makes certain sci-fi franchises, in my opinion, that’s what makes them last longer is when they have character characters that we see grow and go along with the plot. And on this show, they have managed to do that. Her character—she’s iconic, in my opinion. Her character is doing things that you’re just like did this broad just do that? 

They have so many women characters on that show that are so strong in various different ways. It’s also incredibly diverse. And what I love about The Expanse as a sci-fi franchise is that they have managed to create a distant future that looks realistic. 

Jessica: Yes. Also, find me sci-fi that doesn’t critique capitalism, and I find you bullshit. Like most sci-fi does—the sci-fi I consume, anyways. It explores race and identity and the perils of capitalism, which is so delightful. Also, it’s highly moralistic programing. There’s always some sort of moral lesson, which I just—I don’t really like. I want moral content—that’s what I want.

Amanda Seales: I am with you. I have trouble watching certain stuff because I’m just like what’s the point of—where’s the social elevation in me watching this? 

So, okay, back to sci—okay, so my father is who put me into sci-fi. And so—but he really just kind of knows certain shit, and so I reached a point with the psychic stuff that I was like I feel like I need to know more. So I called him, and I was like, “This is your first born.” That’s how I greet him.

Jessica: You’re funny. It’s funny. I’ve done that with my father several times, as well, yeah. Just so you know, I’m the first one. I’m the first one.

Amanda Seales: And I was like I need to know why I can see things before they happen. Is it a dimensions thing that we’re living in a different space/time continuum? How is it possible? How is it possible that I can see a future that hasn’t happened? Does that mean that future has happened in another time and space? And this is the woo-woo. This is me trying to like—

And he was like, “Listen, part of it is we have this in our lineage. He was like, “We have Serers [sp] in our lineage, so you do have that.” And he was like, “The other part of it is you are a creator.” And he was just like, “When you are a creator in the way that you are, you’re God like.” He was like, “You make something from nothing.” 

And he was like, “Your ability to believe that something can exist that doesn’t already exist gives you an extra ability to see things that a lot of people don’t allow themselves to see because the world has taught us that if it doesn’t exist on this grid and on this plane of existence, that it can’t really happen.” So he was like, “Your visionary ability is allowing you to see things that everyone could see, but that they can’t because so much of our teaching from a very early age is that you only believe it when you see it.” Like pics or it didn’t happen.

Jessica: Yeah, it’s like evidence. You need evidence otherwise it’s not real. And if I can even add to that, I think also people who’ve survived trauma. Because when you survive trauma, when you come from traumatic upbringing, and you create something that is healthy or more peaceful, it actually is—it’s that same concept of creating something that wasn’t there. 

And we don’t talk enough about how frequently survivors of trauma have psychic or intuitive abilities. And there’s so many kinds of abilities. There’s so many levels and degrees in which it can happen. But so much of having the audacity to outgrow your trauma is, whether it’s inherited or lived and experienced, it requires you to pull from your whole self—it just does. 

We can’t have real healing without including the spirit, IMO. And so, I think that’s also part of it. I think that’s part of it for so many people. And again, we don’t talk about this enough, this thing of creation being connected to creation. 

And whether we’re talking about this on a healing level or on a creative level, it’s when shit really goes down, you need your faculties—you need your resources. And that’s when we often are like you trust your instincts. And again, sorry, but like Captain Janeway, she’s so good at trusting those instincts, you know what I mean? I mean, it’s just—

Amanda Seales: —Star Trek.

Jessica: Give me a female captain, I’m sold right. But I think that there’s a way that we really—when we’re trusting our instincts in a crisis, we don’t as a society call that woo, but that’s just as woo as trusting it when you’re in a cab with your mom and you’re like somethings about to go down. It’s just as woo. 

It’s like why is it okay to be intuitive on a battlefield, like a big man, but it’s not okay to be intuitive about interpersonal relationships? I mean, to me, that’s more of like spiritual misogyny—I almost said monogamy, but misogyny, which I do think is an important part of the sillification of woo and astrology is a way to kind of like—

Amanda Seales: —What does sillification mean?

Jessica: Oh, it’s a word I made up, I think. But making things silly, you know what I mean? Like, oh, it’s silly to—

Amanda Seales: —Sillification.

Jessica: Sillification. 

Amanda Seales: I love it.

Jessica: Thank you. I’ve been told many times by my partner, who I work on my podcast with, that I make words up and then proceed as though they’re real.

Amanda Seales: I was like I don’t know this term.

Jessica: I think I made it up. But somebody might be like no, asshole, this has been used by many people before. So I don’t know, but the sillification, like the, “Oh, you’re into astrology—that’s cute.” “Oh, you’re into woo—that’s sweet.” “Oh, you think you’re intuitive? Oh, that’s nice, little girl.” It's like the pat on the head.

Amanda Seales: Yes.

Jessica: And this is something that I think is a really important part—well, I just think it’s something we all need to be really aware of—the ways in which we think certain things are silly spiritually and other things are not. And a lot of it has to do with misogyny, in my view.

Amanda Seales: Woo-woo! The woo-woo is so strong with this episode that we felt the need to come back next week, so please stick with us as we continue with Jessica Lanyadoo and sharing with us all of her insights and her astrology’s and her psychic notions and all the good things that are helping us get centered for this new year and new time.