Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

It's May, and I am doing so many virtual events this month. And I hope you will join me for at least a couple of them. On Friday, May 15th, I will be speaking at the assembly with the illustrious Avery Trufelman. We will be talking about my book, Astrology For Real Relationships. On the 22nd and 23rd of May, I will be speaking at this awesome astrology conference called NORWAC. I'll be speaking on inherited conditions in the birth chart and outer planets and love. I'll also speak on a panel called How to Become a Professional Astrologer. You need to be there for all of it, plus just check out NORWAC. It's super cool, and you can discover new and exciting astrologers there.

And then, finally, on May 30th, I am offering an AMA—that's an ask me anything—Venus Retrograde themed, and all proceeds raised from that event will go to National Bail Out and Sovereign Bodies Institute. Check out those organizations. Donate money if you got it. And join me for the damn AMA so I can answer all your questions about relationships and all things Venus oriented.

Welcome back to another week of Astrology Hot Takes. This week, we're talking about Venus. We're talking about Venus in the birth chart, and we're talking about Venus Retrograde. And as you know, Venus goes Retrograde on the 13th of May, and it will stay Retrograde until the 25th. There's a lot to say about it, but before we get into the Retrograde, let me tell you a little bit about the planet Venus. I love Venus. I mean, honestly, I kind of love all the planets, but let's talk about why Venus is such a wonderful planet to understand.

In astrology, when you're looking at your birth chart and you want to understand your relationship to pleasure, your relationship to what you think is delightful and what kind of engages your senses, you're going to look to Venus. When you want to understand how you relate to other people, how you like others to relate to you, you're going to look at Venus. So, in a way, this is absolutely the relationship planet because it is all about relating and how you are relational, what your nature is around being relational. However, it's not the whole thing. It's not all the parts of a relationship, but it's a really valuable part to understand.

Now, that's not all that Venus does. Venus in astrology refers to your finances. It refers to what you own, what your relationship to what you own is, and also your cash, your money. So it's not your stocks. It's not your inheritances. It's not your debts. It's not your investments. It's the stuff you own and the cash in pocket. So Venus is actually related to barter, and the reason why is because it's related to value-based trade of goods and services. That's right. That's why Venus is related to money. It's because of the value component of it, because Venus is the planet that governs our values: what we value, how we value, how we prioritize or center those values, and whether or not we kind of lead from that place.

Where we find Venus in the birth chart is where we have a tendency to be accommodating instead of authentic. However, Venus's kind of great joy and shining moment occurs when we are both diplomatic and also authentic. That's really the happiest embodiment of your Venus, of anyone's Venus. What that's going to look like for you and how that's going to feel for you, that's all specific to the Venus placement in your birth chart, which means the sign that it's in, the house that it's in, and also the aspects that you have in your birth chart to Venus natally.

So let me just kind of pull back and speak about relationships. Venus, inasmuch as it's centered around relationships—again, I want to say it's your relational style. So that doesn't mean that Venus describes our intimacy issues. Now, you need to look at aspects for that and other planets for that. Venus on its own is your relational style, which I guess could on its own be an intimacy issue, but it's not inherently an intimacy issue. It's really important that we take responsibility for how we like to relate, what feels sensually delightful to us, and I'm talking about food, stuff, appearances, what kind of touch you like. And that can be in a sexual way, but Venus is a little bit less about proper doing it—that's Mars—and it's a lot more about building up of emotion and connection through senses. So that's everything around how you feel, your sense-based feeling, in the physical presence of another person.

Also, Venus is related to security. So, again, we have the reiteration of money and of relationships. And that sense of security is either going to be really important to you or not so much. Some Venus signs are much more attachment oriented, and some are a lot less. This has to do with your relationship to security and how that shows up in your birth chart. When you look at Venus in your birth chart, what you really want to make sure is that you throw away all the notions of, "Men are from Mars; women are from Venus."

If you go on a Google spree about astrology, you'll see a lot of, "Women with Venus in Libra are like this, and men with Venus in Libra are like that," or whatever. And I want to just take a moment to call a big load of bullshit upon that, my friends, a big load of bullshit. Now, I'm not trying to say that genders aren't different from each other, because but of course they are. And I don't think I need to say, but I'm happy to reiterate, there are more genders than just male and female. Inherently, the whole "Men are this and women are that" kind of thing that happens in popular astrology writing, I think, is problematic straight out the damn gate.

But the other part of it is it's limiting. Is this nature or nurture, these kind of stereotypes that people write about with men versus women in astrology? I personally think a lot of times it's nurture. And, again, there are of course differences between genders. But I would really encourage you to kind of throw away that whole thing, and if you're reading about anything astrological and certainly related to Venus, I want to encourage you to read all of it and understand that you can resonate with all of it. And try not to pigeonhole people based on their gender.

It is not a mistake that I'm bringing this up at this time, because Venus is one of the planets that are related to the experience of one's gender and the expression of one's gender. Venus and Mars both do that. And so we all have Venus in our charts, and we all have Mars in our charts. And so being able to experience and express both our Venusian, a.k.a. feminine, energies and our Martian, a.k.a. masculine, energies is a really healthy part of being a whole person. Where you find Venus in a birth chart, in your birth chart and anyone else's, describes so much of how you feel secure and the way that you relate to others, what feels pleasing to you, what is good for you, and also the amount of space you need and how you relate as a way to feel kind of validated and chosen.

At the core of it all, the issues we find that relate to Venus are issues related to our values: what we value in ourselves, what we value in our relationships, and ultimately why. So, if you have Venus, let's say, in a mutable sign—and if you've listened to the "Elements and Qualities" episode of the Astrology Hot Takes, you will know a mutable sign would be Sagittarius, Gemini, Pisces, or Virgo. If you have Venus in a mutable sign, then you're likely going to want some measure of flexibility in how you connect and are close to others. That sense of flexibility will feel to you like love and freedom, the space to change your mind about plans or come up with a big new idea about how you should relate to each other.

If you have Venus in a fixed sign—and, again, those fixed signs are Taurus, Scorpio, Leo, and Aquarius—you're going to have some pretty fixed ideas about how to express, like, and love; how people are supposed to act with you; and what you feel like you should have to do. Right? So the key here when looking at Venus in your birth chart or in somebody else's birth chart is to look at the relational style as a reflection of what the person values. Isn't that fascinating? We can take the surface of how we connect with each other and how we want others to connect with ourselves, and go deeper and understand that this is really about core and central values. De-fucking-lightful.

Now I want to talk to you about the Venus Retrograde. We are going through a Venus Retrograde May 13th through June 25th of 2020, and this Venus Retrograde is happening in the sign of Gemini. So I will reiterate what I always say here, that Retrogrades are when a planet appears to be moving backwards. And when it appears to be moving backwards, what happens is the functions, the normal, happy, healthy functions of that planet, get a little schmageggied, if you know what I'm saying. They don't function quite as they are meant to or we expect them to. As a result, when a planet goes Retrograde, we tend to have things from the past come up. We tend to have misunderstandings or missed connections. And the reason for that is because of that rule of re's you know I like to repeat over and over again. We are meant to reflect, review, reassess, recalibrate.

And in regards to Venus, that might look like really considering your relationships. It looks like really considering how you've been communicating what you want or need or feel to others, how you've been listening—because communication is not just about "blah, blah, blah"; it's also about listening, see? Venus in Gemini is not excellent at listening. It's not terrible, but it's not what it's primarily known for. So you really want to pay attention at this time to listening to what others are showing you of themselves, and understand whatever other people are showing you of themselves is a reflection of them, not you, honey. Not you.

So, when we look at a Venus Retrograde, common things that come up are that exes come back from the past. They just all of a sudden emerge. Or it's not necessarily like your ex or ex-friend, ex-lover; it can also be people who embody a theme of your past, like, "Oh shit. I haven't had this relationship dynamic or this relationship problem in like four years, and here we are again." Venus Retrograde. Another thing that can happen is you might look at your clothes and want to throw it all away. You might look at your hair and be like, "Bangs. She needs bands."

This is a terrible time for making permanent aesthetic changes, so maybe hold off on the bangs. Honestly, I love bangs. I am very pro-bangs in all scenarios—in all scenarios. Also, wait until after June 25th before you start messing with your bangs because in general, we're not supposed to be making these changes at this time. We want to reflect on them. We want to explore them, the ideas of them. And so, in regards to relationships—less aesthetic and more relationships—I want to just touch on what this looks like in the context of shelter in place.

We can expect to be doing a shelter in place for quite some very long time. Not months, but many, many months. We might find ourselves this time next year, even in two years, still having rolling quarantines. And I say this because I read what scientists say and reporters report about scientists, but also, the astrology deeply matches up with that. So, if that's the case—lets go worst-case scenario styles—and you're not doing great, you're living alone, you're like, "Oh shit. My social world has really shrunk. Everything is on video chats. It's overwhelming," there is a value in coming up with strategies around who in your social circle or your dating circle shares your values. So you gotta start there.

Who shares your values around how to stay safe in the time of COVID-19? How much risk is too much risk? What kind of risks are acceptable? What kind of risks are not? If you can identify what your values are, then you can talk about—that's the Gemini part of Venus in Gemini right now—what your values are and ask your friends, your partners, your family members, what theirs are and come up with agreements—maybe you need to have a circle of people who you connect with, who you make a decision about how you're going to connect, and you just keep that circle nice and tight. You keep it really personal to you.

In doing so, what you're doing is investing in your need to have sense-based connections with others, not just video chats with others. And I want to encourage you to really consider this, talk about this, during the Venus Retrograde. You don't have to act on anything now. Venus Retrograde is not the greatest time to enact a social plan or a relational plan. If you've been thinking about breaking up with someone, yeah, you might just do it during the Retrograde. But a Venus Retrograde isn't going to create problems for you. It's going to bring those problems to surface. It's going to make it hard for you to evade or avoid those problems, but it's not going to create problems. So coming up with ideas in regards to your relationships with people around how you're going to connect and stay connected is going to be really valuable, but I don't necessarily encourage you to enact them now.

Now, here's something else. This is a wonky Venus Retrograde, IMO. It's going to bring up some really overwhelming or confusing or just downright odd feelings. Go with it. Be interested in your feelings. If you can, do not jump to conclusions. Now, I am a big believer that this Venus Retrograde will be a million times easier for you and everyone you come in contact with if you center healthy boundaries. And what are healthy boundaries? Well, in part, they're ways that you both protect yourself and others, and they are kind of an expression of you being clear about what you can and you can't and you will and you won't. Right?

But they require that you're authentic with yourself, that you accept what your preferences and needs are, and you value yourself enough to do the work to figure out what the limits are, how much you can put out there and how much you need to actually rein in. As much as possible, center healthy boundaries at this time. And that might just mean healthy boundaries with yourself. Somebody texts you that stresses you out, and you're already having a stressful day? Have a boundary. Don't look at the text. That's okay. That's an okay thing to do.

Now, one more theme around Venus Retrograde that I really want to mention is around your money. It's about your values with your money, but it's also about how you're relating to your money. Values and relating—Venus. So, in this wild, wild time that we're living through, if you've been spending money in an irresponsible way or in a thoughtless way, this is a great time to really look at your behavior and see whether or not it's sustainable.

It's a great time for you to look at the way you're relating to your finances. Maybe you've been donating a ton of money. Good on you. Is it a sustainable amount of money? Do you need to move a little more slowly so that you can sustain giving money over the course of time? Have you been a little bit of a hoarder? Do you need to really look at generating more flow so that you're not holding things so tightly, so that there's a sense of scarcity even if you have abundance? Consider your relationship to what you own and what you have and what its value is for you but also to you. That's what we do in a Venus Retrograde.

Now, my loves, this is just a hot take on Venus. Next week, I want to give you actual exercises and a little bit of witch tips for you to follow for this Venus Retrograde, because who doesn't want and need more tips?

As always, thank you so much for joining me for another episode of Ghost of a Podcast. If you enjoy this podcast and you're learning from this podcast and you want more, please do subscribe to it wherever you hear the podcast. And if you listen on a platform that allows you to star or review, please throw down fives stars. Give me ten stars. I want all the stars. I'm an astrologer. Of course I do.

Star me up. Write me a good review. If you haven't already picked up Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along, then you're missing out. And I'm also excited for you because you haven't gotten it yet, and then if you haven't gotten it yet, then when you get it, you'll be so excited. That's fun.

That's it. That's all. This was cute. This was fun. And there's more coming. So think about values. Think about what you value. And you know what? You know what? I value you. You have value. Bye.