Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Jessica:            I welcome you to Ghost of a Podcast. And why don't you tell me what you want to get a reading about today?

Guest:              I would love to know if I am destined to have a family, have kids. I personally have not found someone that gives me that connection or the passion that I would want to commit to in that way. I do have prospects that I would definitely be comfortable with in the long run, but there's no fire there. There's no spark. And then I don't want to settle. And I am a very small family. My father and my mother married very young, and he was killed when I was four months old, putting her through some trauma, and therefore she never remarried. She remained a widow the rest of her life.

                        It's been a lot of pressure on me recently to have kids, or what am I going to do? My grandmother expressed to me that she didn't survive segregation and everything that she went through for me to end our bloodline. And so I feel obligated in some capacity to keep this thing moving. But also, too, I want to be earnest in my actions, and I don't want to just do it for the sake of someone else. I think having a kid is a very pivotal and important thing in your life, and I want to do it for the right reasons but not because I'm feeling pressure from my family to pop out a kid now.

                        So I turn 38 years old this year, and I don't want to go into debt trying to freeze my eggs like all my friends are doing. But I think if I want to compromise, that may be an option. I don't know. I'm seeking your guidance and what your thoughts are and what [crosstalk]⁠—

Jessica:            Okay.

Guest:              ⁠—on this journey.

Jessica:            I just want to say I'm sorry for your loss with your dad, and I'm also sorry that there's this pressure on you. There's a lot for us to talk about here. So let me just clarify a couple little details. The first is do you date cis dudes?

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Okay. So getting pregnant would be a pretty direct transaction if that's what you wanted to do. And do you want to be a mom? Because you actually didn't say anything about that in your question.

Guest:              I think if it happened, I would love to be a mom, but it's not something I feel like it's a role that I need to take on and embark. But if it happened to fall into my lap, absolutely, I would be the best mom ever.

Jessica:            Okay. Okay. Great. So it's like a yes, but it's not like a drive.

Guest:              No. I think it's too much of a serious commitment for it to be a drive, in my opinion. But I know I do have a nurturing nature, and I wouldn't mind being a mom. I would love to be a mom. But if it happens, it happens. I go with the flow. I live in the present, and so⁠—

Jessica:            Mm-hmm, breaking all stereotypes about being a Virgo.

Guest:              Yes. I guess so.

Jessica:            Absolutely. And I love it. I'm going to just share you were born August 23rd, 1984, 11:37 p.m. in Agana Heights, Guam.

Guest:              Correct. Yep.

Jessica:            Okay. This larger topic, is it really about having kids, or is it about having a partner and kids and being a wife and a mom? Is it the package, or is it really just about the kid?

Guest:              I'm uncertain for the sheer fact that I grew up with a single mom, and she made it work. So I don't need the package, per se, or the traditional nuclear aspect of it. But it'd be nice, right? But it's not necessary, in my opinion, because I'm a product of that environment.

Jessica:            Right. Okay. So let me start around the topic. And the first thing I want to say is in your sixth house, you've got Saturn and Pluto. And Saturn from your sixth house forms a square to your Midheaven, and this means many things, but really relevant to this topic, your career is a big fucking deal for you. You care about your work. You are deeply invested in your work, and it is something that I imagine takes a lot of your physical time and all of your energy. Is that correct?

Guest:              It does. Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. And that's a great thing for you. I mean, sometimes it's a pain in your ass because Saturn and Pluto are absolutely that. But it is a big thing for you. And so, regardless of everything else in your birth chart, if you're going to have a kid, you would need either⁠—or both⁠—a partner who can really be there and support the family in an emotional, nurturing, day-to-day management way, or you need enough money to be able to hire support for that, because abandoning your career would be really, really rough on you. I don't know that you would do it. And not that you have to abandon a career if you're raising kids on your own or if you have a partner who is not especially helpful, but I gotta be honest. I've seen that over and over and over again in my consulting practice for women. So it is a thing worth mentioning.

                        Now, the other thing I want to say is, yeah, you've got this beautiful Cancer Moon. You've got Venus in the fifth house. You've got Jupiter and Neptune conjunct in the eighth. All these things say you could get pregnant. Your fertility looks good, looks healthy. And yeah, you'd be a great mom. You would really enjoy being a parent and just having a family you could love on. And kind of connected to that, that Moon in Cancer forms a trine to your Saturn. And so this thing that your grandmother has said to you about passing on the bloodline, not letting it end with you⁠—that resonates with you because that Saturnian part of your nature⁠—yeah, you have a sense of responsibility and a sense of "I am connected to those who came before me, and I gotta bring the line forward."

                        But here's the rest of the story, and this is the whole reason why you're asking the question, because if it was just those things, then you'd be like, "Okay. Where's my man?" That would be the question. That's not your question at all, interestingly. And it's because of a couple of really important parts of your birth chart. The first one, you, my friend, have a Uranus/Mars conjunction on the Descendent in the seventh house. Okay. This means many things, but one thing it likes is you like your freedom. You like to get in there, get yours, and go home. Yeah. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Guest:              Motto of my life.

Jessica:            I'm sure. You are good. You can hit it. You can quit it. You know what you like, and you're not⁠—I won't say that you compartmentalize. It might look like that from the outside, but there are certain people you like for certain moments and certain things. You have an inch; let's scratch it. "Okay. I'm not itching anymore. I'm done." You're good with that. Now, listen. This is not good or bad, but it's true to who you are. It's true to who you are.

And because you've got this Jupiter/Neptune conjunction in your eighth house, sometimes you can catch feelings for good sex. Not always, but sometimes you can. But good sex and fun, hot chemistry⁠—Uranus/Mars conjunction in Sagittarius. This chemistry and passion is not always consistent with someone you would be best friends with or coparent with or cohabitate with. On the tip of cohabitating, yeah, you're a Virgo. You're a Virgo. You have your ways that you like to live that are very important to you, and you're very consistent until you completely change your mind, and then it's completely different.

Guest:              100 percent. Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. And so you feel like you're consistent, but I imagine⁠—have you ever lived with someone, like a partner or anything like that?

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Yeah. I imagine it would be complicated because when you change, you like everything around you to change. And you change frequently and what seems to other people spontaneously. You take some sharp-ass turns, and it's hard for people to keep up with you. Not always, but I imagine frequently enough.

Guest:              Yeah, but I try to provide support in my progression when I feel myself turning and try to bring them along with me. And a lot of the times, they're just not willing to make that shift. So yeah. You're absolutely right on that.

Jessica:            Yeah, and it's complicated because on the one hand, what you're attracted to is people who have a strong sense of self. But on the other hand, you are very nurturing to your partners. Maybe you even baby them sometimes, it looks like. Is that the way you go?

Guest:              I can abandon myself sometimes, I think, in a way, that I can be selfless. But I do like a really strong Mars energy at the same time.

Jessica:            Yep. Yeah. What can sometimes happen in that regard is that you've got this great, again, passion and really strong vibes, but they're not always the strongest humans. And so, when you need them to pony up and make a change, work on themselves, that kind of a thing, they can all of a sudden turn kind of needy, and that's a boner killer for you. You're good at being nurturing to the people you love, but you like them to be independent. And when that starts to shift, that can be a problem. Have you been in long-term relationships? I'm assuming so if you've lived together.

Guest:              Yeah. Either I'm super single or I'm in a serious relationship.

Jessica:            Yeah. That makes sense. So this brings me to something else. We haven't gotten to kids yet. We're working in. We're working in. You've got this beautiful Taurus Rising, late degrees, Taurus Rising. Again, you've got lots of markers of being good at relationships. And finding a guy to hook up with, finding a guy to date, is not actually your problem. But what you've got here is a little sandwich between your Ascendant, Chiron, and your North Node. And your North Node is in the middle of that sandwich. And there's a lot of things I'll say about this, but we'll start just with having the North Node in the first house conjunct the Ascendant.

                        What it teaches us is that on a soul level, you've come into this life with a clear memory of what it means to be a partner. You've been a partner. You've been a partner. You've figured out how to be a partner, how to be there for people, how to share of yourself with others. You've done that. And in this life, what you've come here to on a spiritual level really figure out is how to be yourself, is how to hold on to yourself even when you're around others. It's to forge and support your own identity and, again, sense of self.

This is not in any way to say that you cannot be in a happy, successful partnership or marriage. But it absolutely indicates that for you, if you're going to go with the flow, quote unquote, if you're going to let the Universe decide, the Universe is going to decide you're fine on your own; you actually don't need this. It takes more work to figure out how to have⁠—especially if⁠—unfortunately, if you're straight and you date cis dudes, it takes a lot more effort to figure out how to have a truly autonomous, interdependent relationship that doesn't fall into the tracks, the train tracks that just carry our little caboose forward.

This dynamic comes out of your family line. So there is this theme⁠—I would imagine it's out of your mom's line⁠—of women needing to validate and identify their own autonomy within relationships. Does that make sense from what you've seen in your mom's family?

Guest:              Definitely. I also believe that she's gone through some trauma that she's never dealt with with the death of my father as well. So there's some other factors playing there, but absolutely.

Jessica:            Massive factor. And also, that's part of it, though, because Chiron is involved. It's invariably always related to trauma and wounding. We can say the loss of your father is a trauma for you that is articulated in this part of your chart, and that may have to do with your relationship to men or why you're not partnered. Actually, I can see how that is true, but also, you're just so independent. You're like a wild horse that sometimes comes into the stable. That's just how you're wired. We'll get back to that. But needing to choose yourself, whether or not that's hard, and even if it's difficult circumstances that push you in that direction, that's a theme that I see running through the family.

                        Again, none of this says you shouldn't have kids, you can't have kids, or that you should. But it is, I hope, a validation of this part of you that's like, "Yeah. If it happens organically and beautifully, yes. Otherwise, I am not prioritizing it. I have not yet prioritized it." That makes sense in your birth chart. As I was studying your chart, I was just like, "Is there a yes/no answer?"⁠—so, "Do this. Prioritize it," "Don't do this. Don't prioritize it," because sometimes there is a really firm, strict answer; for you, there is not.

That said, what I can say as an astrologer⁠—and this is overly simplifying the layers, but bear with me. You cannot have kids for anyone but you and be happy about it. And that includes your grandmother, and it includes your family lineage, even though you may have a great sense of responsibility to your family. You are somebody who is incredibly successful when you innovate a path and you follow through on that path and that path is a yes for you. You seek energy, and where the energy flows is where you go. Does that make sense in your experience?

Guest:                  Yes. That's the only way I work.

Jessica:            It is. It really is. And it's terrible for you when you don't follow energy. You get irritable. You can get shut down. Your health can suffer, even. It's really not good for you. And because of that, it would have to be the perfect situation. It would have to be such a clear and resounding yes for it to be a yes.

Guest:              Is that me being particular, though?

Jessica:            I got a question for your question before I answer your question. Is particular bad?

Guest:              No, but I feel as though if it has to be a choice, then it would have to be particular in that kind of way. But I don't know. I just feel like it's organically⁠—if I let the Universe decide, I am totally fine on my own. But if it shows that I am good with relationships, then why do I have to chart it out and⁠—

Jessica:            Interesting.

Guest:              ⁠—make it my job to find this person? And I just don't think⁠—the best relationships I've had have been just friendships organically turning into that in itself⁠—

Jessica:            Yep. Yep. That makes sense.

Guest:              ⁠—but not prioritizing. But when you have eggs, you have to make that decision, right?

Jessica:            Yeah. I will say, from what I'm seeing in your birth chart, you've got a good life. I mean, you've got problems, but you like yourself.

Guest:              Yes, but I do fear being alone. That is my path in this lifetime is to get to know myself, be my authentic self, but I don't want to do it alone. But I'm also not seeking companionship, at the same time, because I think I'm insanely authentic.

Jessica:            Yes.

Guest:              If it's going to be fruitful, it needs to be organic; it needs to be authentic. But I also feel isolated, in a way, just for the sheer fact of how everyone is acting right now. But that's a whole other conversation.

Jessica:            It is a whole conversation. It is. So okay. Let's look at that because⁠—and I mean this in the most positive and loving way possible, but you're a damn weirdo. You really are a weirdo. Come on. Uranus conjunction to Mars? That is very weird. And this particular conjunction⁠—did you ever see The Big Lebowski?

Guest:              A little bit, yes. [crosstalk]

Jessica:            Okay. First of all, it's a classic. Some people hate it; some people love it. It's worth watching simply because⁠—do you remember the main character? His name was The Dude.

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Okay. That is the archetype I always think of with the Uranus/Mars conjunction, super tenderhearted, but super fucking weird. Very independent, but has core friends. It's this weird mishmash. That is an archetype of this placement that is so strong in your chart. And for you, you are tenderhearted. You do love companionship and intimacy. My guess is you have really meaningful relationships with people, whether it's romantic or friendship. But they change because you change.

You have times where you're just like, "We need to be snuggling on this couch all the damn time," and other times where you're like, "We don't need to see each other or talk to each other every day, do we? Is that important? Because it's not to me." You have both parts of you. And because of that, it is really important that if you're going to partner with someone that it's either kept really boundaried and in a non-heterotypical way, kind of just like, "We see each other on the weekends," like something really where you cocreate the structure of the relationship⁠—but you do have that Cancer Moon⁠—or they just need to be really compatible with you, with who you actually are. And that is hard for everyone. It's not just hard for you. I mean, it's hard for everyone.

Because on a meaningful level it's not your top priority, it makes it a teeny bit harder because if it was your top priority⁠—you see how you are with work. When something is your priority at work, it doesn't matter; you make a way. You find a way. You make it happen. With the romance thing, it's one of these things where you're like, "I don't want to, down the line, hit a wall and not be able to fix this." But it's not in this moment a priority for you in the way it is for your grandmother for you.

Guest:              Yeah. I just want to find someone who can grow with me and are willing to work on themselves in the same capacity. And that's hard to find that level of maturity.

Jessica:            Yeah. Okay. So you said you have options. Are you seeing somebody right now or somebodies right now?

Guest:              No, I'm not. But I do have genuine friendships with the men in my life that⁠—they're just like, "Well, you know, if you don't find anyone, totally down to have a kid with you." I have a couple of those.

Jessica:            Okay. So we're going to look at these. We're going to look at these guys because I want to peek in on your options.

Guest:              Oh. Awesome.

Jessica:            Okay. Say your full name out loud, and then say the cutest of those guys' names.

Guest:              Oh, that's hard. Okay. [redacted]

Jessica:            What's your mom's maiden last name?

Guest:              [redacted]

Jessica:            Thank you. There she is. Whoa. Okay.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            Okay. All right. Okay. And then what's his name?

Guest:              [redacted]

Jessica:            Is he a little older, or is he just tall?

Guest:              He's older and tall.

Jessica:            Boom. Okay. Hold on. You hooked up with him?

Guest:              No.

Jessica:            But he's expressed verbally or nonverbally⁠—

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            ⁠—that he'd like that very much? Thank you.

Guest:              Yes. Both I have not hooked up with at all because I don't want to cross that line yet, because…

Jessica:            I mean, it's very clear why. I mean, this guy is handsome. He's handsome.

Guest:              He's an adorable guy. Known him for six years. If it would have happened, it would have happened, in my opinion.

Jessica:            Okay. Okay.

Guest:              My other one, we have a very strong relationship because I kind of helped him acclimate⁠—he's an immigrant⁠—to the U.S. We've known each other for 18 years.

Jessica:            Wow.

Guest:              And he truly loves me. And he's built a great life here. He's definitely like, "I would love to keep you going when you're not here anymore in that capacity." It definitely would be a unique relationship, a partnership in a way. But he is a very strong Cancer.

Jessica:            Okay. Okay. Yeah. Give me his name as well.

Guest:              [redacted]

Jessica:            Okay. So we'll start with the second guy, not the first guy you named. So I don't really see you catching feelings for this man, especially if you lived with him, because he has this very specific thing that you love in a friend and you don't love in a sexual partner is the most diplomatic way I can put it.

Guest:              I would say we probably⁠—just to have the kid and probably would never…

Jessica:            I mean, that's what you would feel, but he wouldn't feel that way. So it would get messy is the problem. You're kind of his perfect woman, and he's your perfect brother. Yeah. He's your brother. This is very, very familial.

Guest:              I told him that. I was like, "I could not do that to my brother."

Jessica:            Yeah. I mean, that's exactly what I see. And if you were to go down this path, it would be a massive risk because listen. If he didn't have feelings for you and you had sex with him once, twice, three times, a baby⁠—whatever it took⁠—and then you lived together and coparented together, he would expect this to be a family. And you would just need him to be like a good wife, basically, but in a Mad Men way, not in the coolest way of the world. And you're not going to like that about him or about you. And so I think you'll lose respect for him. So he's kind of off the table, unless⁠—now, I was going to say unless all you want is a sperm donor, but he would be in love with that baby. You can't do that with him because he's kind of in love with you. I mean, I feel like it's not a creepy in-love-with. It's just he's got feelings for you, and he's okay with being friends.

Guest:              [crosstalk] there. Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. He's not a creepy guy at all. But honestly, it's too complicated. It's too complicated. It's not there for you.

Guest:              I agree. I agree. But these eggs are dying, so…

Jessica:            Okay. Okay. Real talks. Real talks. So now we go back to the first dude. The first dude that you mentioned is more independent than the second dude. He has more difference from you, which I think is good for you in dating and in partnering, differently than it is in friendship. He could be a sperm donor. I don't see him being a good coparent to you in a non-romantic relationship. Both of these options mean you don't have sex anymore; you're done with sex. Right⁠—the face you made was exactly what I was trying to tell you. That's not the goal. You don't want to partner with someone and not have sex with them and not⁠—

Guest:              I need someone who can⁠—it goes both ways. I'm doing this my whole life. I just want one time [crosstalk].

Jessica:            Neither of these men are your partner. Neither of these men are your partner, and here's the thing. I bring you back to the Uranus/Mars conjunction. This is a dad placement more than a mom placement. It's, "I come in. I have fun. I give you some rules and some vision on the world, but then I gotta go. I got some work to do." You need to maintain your autonomy. And I hate that these roles⁠⁠—mom/dad⁠—fall down gender lines. They currently do. I'm hoping that one day they don't.

But the reality is I don't see you being happy having to be the primary caregiver. I'm not saying you can't do it. Of course you can do it. But to do it for the rest of your life or to do it for the next 20 years, I don't really see that making you happy. And I'm not trying to set you up. If you choose to do it, you'll find a way. But you need somebody who knows who the fuck he is, somebody who knows the role that they want to play in a relationship and doesn't have to prove himself to others. He's got this kind of Teflon ego. So he doesn't have something to prove. That is something that you have dated, it looks like⁠—guys who kind of lead with their energy.

I don't think you actually need that if you are going to have a family with someone. I imagine that someone slightly more introverted is what's going to work for you, someone who can meet you there and is not threatened, who has a strong enough ego that he is not threatened by you having a life outside of him, because that's actually what you need. You do need to have a life outside of your partnership in order to return to your partner and not feel irritated or resentful. Does that make sense?

Guest:                  Absolutely. Yes.

Jessica:            And so neither of these guys are it. And you didn't really suggest to me that they were. I'm going to give you homework. I'm going to give you woo homework, okay? Did you just look for a pen?

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Okay. I love that. I saw your little head swivel, and I was like, "Oh, she's going to take notes. This is my dream." This is Capricorn on Virgo violence, and I'm all about it. Okay. So write out a list, not of what you want from a man, not what kind of a man you want to manifest as a partner in your life, but instead, what are the dynamics you want in a relationship? Because you might think to yourself, "I want somebody who's driven," or, "I want somebody who is financially independent," but what if he's just a trust fund kid? And there's nothing wrong with that, but what if he's that versus somebody who makes his own money? Are you going to feel different about that?

                        What if you say, "I want somebody who's funny," but a lot of people think he's funny; he doesn't make you laugh? Or he doesn't laugh at your jokes? That's the problem, right? So I want you to be thinking about what are the dynamics that you want in a healthy, happy relationship. This, I think, will bring you closer to what you actually want than some of what you've been thinking through. You're the kind of person when you're clear about something, when you're really clear about something, you tend to call it to you pretty quickly. When you're less clear, yeah, you get mixed results. And what I think you're really clear about with men is what feels good.

Guest:              I'm very good at that, which is why I thought the Chiron in my first house was me not being able to communicate that clearly.

Jessica:            Interesting. I would read that differently. Let me tell you how.

Guest:              Yeah, but⁠—yeah. Go ahead.

Jessica:            Yeah. So this Chiron in the first house is related to the loss of your father, but it's not exclusively related to the loss of your father. It's related to this matrilineal pattern of men not being consistently safe or reliable. How it shows up for you is, "I'll take care of it. Don't worry. I got this. Don't worry." I wouldn't say that this is a failure-to-communicate issue. I would say you're very efficiently communicating that you don't need anything, you're fine, which is both true and also kind of an overcorrection from feeling your own vulnerability.

On top of that, you've got a T-square⁠—Uranus, Chiron, Mercury. So this take that you have about failure to communicate⁠, that's not off-base with the Mercury as a focal planet to your T-square. But I wouldn't say it's as much about a failure to communicate. I would say more that you communicate a lot of parts. You probably verbalize lots of different parts and also, with your behavior, show lots of different parts of what you want or need. But it's that synthesis piece that's sometimes missing, which is why I am giving you the homework to identify what kind of dynamics you want with a person and in a relationship instead of how you want to be or how you want him to be. Does that make sense, the difference?

Guest:                  Yes. Can you give me an example of certain dynamics I would want?

Jessica:            Yes. Sure. You might think, "I want a guy who doesn't have a bad temper." Well, what the fuck does that mean? You may have pictures and feelings about that. So, instead, what you want to do is, "I want someone who⁠—we fight fair together. I want someone who is compatible with me in the way that I am an irritable person"⁠—I'm putting those words in your mouth because I'm looking at your chart⁠—"and the ways that I get pissed off sometimes, and I want somebody who expresses anger in a way that doesn't shut me down or freak me out, that feels healthy to me."

                        That's about the dynamic instead of trying to control or let the Universe know what it is that that has to look like, because we're often wrong about what it has to look like. Another example might be not just, "We have good sex." That's easy. "We have good sex." So easy. It's, "We have compatible sex. We have a compatible sex drive. We have a compatible reaction to when sex is offline for a period," because that shit happens in relationships. "We can talk about sex in a way that I'm comfortable with and he's comfortable with." So, again, I'm talking about the dynamic and not the thing. Does that make sense?

Guest:              It makes so⁠—it kind of evens out or negates those little wrenches in the game the Universe can throw you when you ask for what you want.

Jessica:            Yes. Somebody who has a compatible dynamic with you around what intimacy is⁠—

Guest:              Or the ability.

Jessica:            ⁠—and how important it is. Yeah. You want to add all of the pieces⁠—the willingness, the ability, and also, who agrees on the definition of intimacy, because how many people are in relationships with people they genuinely love and that love them back but do not agree on what intimacy is or on what good sex is or on what a healthy fight is? And in doing this, you're not only doing the spiritual work of kind of manifesting, but you're also clarifying. You're clarifying your own thinking about what would make you happy because that might come in the package of a younger person, an older person, or a person your age. I don't think it's actually linked to age. It may not even be linked to maturity.

                        It's linked to compatibility. And I think that for you, you have such a spontaneous, fun nature, and you also are a Virgo with a Taurus Rising. You really need things to go a particular way in your life in order to feel safe and like you're doing it right. They're both true. And so what you need is somebody who's going to have a nurturing and stabilizing impact on the parts of your life that need that and not try to hold you down in the other parts. And if all of this comes together, choosing to coparent will be an easy choice. But that brings me to my second bit of homework that you're going to do completely separately.

                        On a completely separate list, I want you to write a dynamic out of what successful coparenting would feel like for you. What would be the breakdown of dishes, sleep time, making major decisions? The truth is having a child changes you. Thank goodness. It's supposed to change you. And relationships change as a result. The little things that you do and that you're happy to do for your partner all the time, they can become exhausting when you're actually caring for a tiny human who relies on you for survival. You might have less energy for that. A great place for you to start is simply clarifying what are the dynamics you would want to coparent with someone. Even the idea of your brother or the other guy, those two sweet men that technically, theoretically could be options⁠—the coparenting dynamic would be terrible with both of them.

                        You've chosen people who would be safe men, not exciting men, not compatible men, but safe men. And they wouldn't be great coparents with who you actually are because they would get threatened, and it would get weird, both of them in different ways. So, with the brother guy, this is what I'm seeing when I look at it psychically, is that he would be a perfect wife and mom to you. He would take that role. He would be so nurturing and so caring, and you would find that fucking annoying. And you will get more and more annoyed with him, and you'd snap more and more at him. And so the way you'd behave towards him would completely change, and therefore he would change, and he'd get shut down and weird and passive, which would make you more irritated, more annoyed with him, and we would have a bad dynamic.

                        So him as he is to you now with all the freedoms that your relationship holds⁠—perfection. You throw in a baby, you throw in him sitting around being nurturing all the time, that would be a different story for you, first.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. But I think, again, even the fact that he's kind of an option in the back of your brain, it betrays that you have all these different ways of evaluating this option, and they're not completely rooted in who you are and the reality of what you need with a man that you could be happy with long enough to happily coparent. Right?

Guest:              Yeah. It would be unconventional for sure, and it would definitely need a lot of work. And then, talking with you, in regards to what I would personally need in a relationship should I find one, it kind of makes me understand why my chart looks like I'd be organically okay to be by myself.

Jessica:            Yep. Yeah. You'd be great with being yourself. And also⁠—

Guest:              A lot of dogs, I guess.

Jessica:            Yeah. Sure. But also, if I was queen of the world, if I was making all the choices for you⁠—which I would never want to do, but if I was, I would have you decide that kids were not the primary ambition. I would have you decide that exactly what your goals are now are your right goals and that you still want to find a man who you can be best friends with and have great sex with and take fun vacations with forever.

Guest:              That's my life. Absolutely.

Jessica:            That's your vibe.

Guest:              That's my vibe today. It's always been my vibe. Absolutely.

Jessica:            That is something that I believe you can have. But⁠—here's the big but⁠—in this fantasy scenario, it specifically isn't about coparenting, which is 20 years of compromise. And what I've just described is honestly very different than coparenting for most people. Some people are like weird magic traveler Sagittarians, and they can do it in that magic way. I have not, through my consulting practice, seen that most people do that. They plan it, but they don't do it.

So what I would envision for you is to make that the goal of your life and to invite the Universe to bring you the right person and situation for having kids if that's the right thing for you⁠—so to make it the secondary goal dependent on the primary goal. And the primary goal is dependent on the true primary goal, which is being authentic in how you choose to live, which is already how you're living. I actually think that you absolutely could get into a very successful relationship that lasts you forever.

I didn't add this very important piece, which is if I was queen of the world, I would have you living in a duplex or on a piece of land but on other parts of the land from each other. You can go to each other's place, but you don't have to live together all the time. And I've actually known people to coparent with that idea of living in a duplex, and the kid just runs upstairs/downstairs, but different kitchens, different bedrooms. I mean, costs a lot of money. Costs a lot of money. It's not a simple thing to do, and it's not for everyone. But you've got this one beautiful life. And to your grandmother's point, your ancestors went through so much so that you could have this life, so that you could have your own life.

And so I get the perspective of the pressure to pass on your genes. But I also am really convicted around if your life is flowing in a particular direction and it is one that makes you happy, then use your freedom to live as you want to live. And I don't think that means saying no to kids, because I don't think that's your truth. But compromising everything for a child doesn't look like your truth either. And so, in January 2022, you got out of a terrible two-year transit that is just awful for dating. Neptune was opposite your Venus. It's a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It's never going to happen again. And it tends to bring either nothing or not-good relationships, and can often make you feel not very sexy.

And so that's been over for about six months now. And in the six-month period, Pluto started to form a trine to your Ascendant. So you are now in a two-year period that's good for dating, but you're likely to have⁠—what do they call that? Sea legs? You're not likely to be feeling super confident about putting yourself out there and taking risks with men.

Guest:                  Also, we're in a plague.

Jessica:      Thank you. Thank you.

Guest:              I'm not going to organically just talk to some stranger. Yeah. You're absolutely right. That's definitely the sea leg jazz that I'm going through right now.

Jessica:            And I think you're wise. It's a really rough time. I know that online dating is not for you. I know. And I also know that when you have a goal, you will do any fucking thing you can do to make your goal happen. And if you're not doing anything, then it's not a real goal for you. Right? That's just who you are. I mean, that's not a global statement. It's a you statement.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            And so, to me, that either answers the question⁠—it's not that important to you⁠—or it points you to really reevaluate, do you need to take a risk? Do you need to be uncomfortable to try for something?

Guest:              I think I just need to embrace the change that is the reality of the situation.

                   [crosstalk]

Guest:                  ⁠—new normal [crosstalk]⁠—

Jessica:      Yeah.

Guest:              ⁠—I guess. Yeah. When you do go on these dates, it's like you're on a freaking job interview. And it's like, "This isn't fun." I just get these questions where it's like this person has been doing this, so now it's like I'm on autopilot. Everyone is just robotic now. I don't know. Maybe it's just because I live in a metropolitan area. But maybe I can⁠—not to be too alpha, but⁠—break this pattern that I'm feeling when it's happening and change the vibe, in a way, or⁠—

Jessica:            That's pretty much what I was just going to say, although not the not being too alpha thing, because I don't think a person can be too alpha. You be alpha. That's good. You be you. But I will say, many years ago, I went on a first date with somebody I ended up staying with for almost a decade, and she brought a multiple-choice questionnaire. I can't remember. I think it was like a psychological multiple-choice questionnaire. And I was so charmed. I was just like, "That's weird." And it was so weird that it was like it took away all the awkwardness. I'm a fan of doing things that are slightly odd because it destabilizes the dynamic. That makes it more playful, and it also lets you know who can't play, which is just a great bit of information. And if he is not susceptible to your artful redirect, he's not going to be for you anyways.

Guest:              Right. Right.

Jessica:            So it's like two birds, one stone, with that.

Guest:              I agree. Okay. I will do that instead of me getting offended that you're trying to gauge my value within the first few minutes I'm hanging out with you.

Jessica:            It's really annoying. I'm so sorry. Also, it's an impossible setup. It's just an impossible setup. Unless magic happens randomly, it's really hard to do it right because it's awkward and it's contrived. I'll just be totally frank. When I look at you energetically, it's like I see this really bright, vibrant light all around you, and then kind of in the center bottom of that light, I see what looks like a door. And the door is closed. That's the romantic part for you. It's not a wall. It's a door, but it's not open. I don't see windows. It's a door.

                        And this visual I'm getting when I look at you energetically is really communicating to me that even though you have sent me this heartfelt question/we're having this important conversation, it does not look like this is the most important thing to you at this time. And I think that's really important for you to accept. Don't feel bad about it. Don't be too analytic⁠—I know I'm telling a Virgo don't be too analytic about it. You don't need to be analytic about it.

It's more about accepting that you really care about this for future you, but present you⁠—it's on the list, but it's not the top of your list. And that means you're actually not in a rush. Where your energy is is part of your answer because, as we established early in our conversation, you're a person who follows energy. And when you follow the flow of energy, you tend to be very successful. You don't always get what you want. You don't always get what you thought you were going to get. But you get what you need. That's how your life has been, eh?

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. And so that applies to this as well. This isn't exactly what you want. You just are scared that if you don't want it now, that you'll want it later and you'll wish you'd wanted it now. There's no energy in that. There's no flow in that. Interpersonally, you're very spontaneous and you're very much an energy person. And so my guess is that in all the moments of your life where you've been like, "Well, I don't want December me to be lonely, so summer me is going to have to start dating," it hasn't worked for you is my guess because there's no energy.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            There's no energy.

Guest:              It has to be on my radar for it to work.

Jessica:            Correct. So this is where⁠—yes. If you one day want children and you're one day completely ready, you may look back to this moment and be like, "Damn. Why didn't I do more?" But you don't want those things in this moment in an authentic, energetic way. And this is why it's not flowing. And there's a level here of, can you accept that right now the reason why you aren't prioritizing it in your behavior is because there's no energy in it? Whenever you turn to it, it just feels flat. It feels like labor. It doesn't feel exciting, inspired, fun.

                        This exercise I've given you, I think, can shift that, and I think you can do a number of things to shift that. If you decide that you're committed to this process, you'll be successful. I mean, I just don't see that you're committed to the process, and I don't think that's a problem. I get your eggs might disagree with me and your grandma might disagree with me, and maybe future you will disagree with me. But you know I'm constantly talking about cultivating acceptance for the present moment, and creating a foundation from here is the only way to be successful moving forward.

                        I'm hearing you kind of struggle with that because you're like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But tomorrow me is going to want this thing, so I need to do it today." And you're not wrong. That logic is good logic, but it's logic. It's not what your heart agrees with, and it's not what your body agrees with. And that's really hard because this is a heart and a body goal. It's not a logic goal. So there are things you can do to shift your thinking so that maybe your heart and your body start to follow a shifted thinking, like, "I can have this really spontaneous dynamic relationship, and it can happen through online dating. I can find ways of being with someone that doesn't cost me my favorite parts of myself or my life."

                        And I do see astrologically it could work. It could totally work for you right now. And also, I can see why it might not work. I don't see that as a failure, because I have not heard you actually say at any point this is your life goal. You're just scared that one day it might not happen and that you'll wish that it had happened.

Guest:              Right. Right.

Jessica:            And that's a fear-based motivation. It's very hard to manifest fear-based motivations. I mean, you can manifest your fears, but it's hard to manifest in the way that you're really good at manifesting, that Sagittarian spontaneous, dynamic, follow-the-energy kind of way.

Guest:              Yeah. Yeah. So no freezing my eggs?

Jessica:            That's a really intense question. I think that would be slightly torturous to you. That Jupiter/Neptune conjunction in your eighth house⁠—I mean, you really feel hormonal stuff, eh? Like really.

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Yeah. Honestly, I think it would be really hard on you physically. And that doesn't mean don't do it. It just means, are you ready to⁠—

Guest:              Mentally.

Jessica:            Yeah, and also, you're not going to be dating while you're doing that. There's just no way you're dating while you're doing that because it makes you feel bonkers, all that hormones stuff. It's also a massive amount of money. Right?

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            And because it's so physically trying and it's so expensive, if it's not your actual heartfelt goal, I have a hard time saying, "It's a great idea; just do that." I mean, I've certainly encouraged lots of people to do it over the years, but you don't have the goal. You have the goal to have the option, which is what freezing your eggs does. Do you need to freeze your eggs in order to have confidence that you can be happy in your life? No. You don't. Do you want to freeze your eggs so that if you change your mind or if circumstances happen in a particular way that this option is preserved over the course of time? Yeah. You could do that. You could totally do that, but it's not a need.

Guest:              Okay. So here's the thing.

Jessica:            Yes. Hit me. Hit me.

Guest:              I believe in reincarnation. I do understand that some spiritual energies are further away from their physical self in this lifetime, and sometimes you have ancestors that may guide you through this lifetime, but then when they start getting further away from their body and into whatever that happens next, and they could be reincarnating into the next life form or deciding to come back or whatever⁠—that is unknown⁠⁠—would me not continuing my bloodline just be⁠—I will not have someone that I could spiritually guide, per se, in the future [crosstalk]?

Jessica:            Interesting. Interesting question. I've talked to so many people, living people, who have lost loved ones guiding them that are not blood relatives. So let's start with that. I don't think that a blood connection is in any way essential for a soul or a heart connection at all. I mean, I have been in session with people, and they're like⁠—boyfriend from when they were a teenager who died in a car accident two years after they broke up came through and has been there throughout my client's life. I've encountered that kind of thing a lot. So it is not specific or exclusive to bloodlines, in my experience. And the truth is family is hard, and just because somebody is a blood relation doesn't mean that they're someone we want energetically around us. Right?

Guest:              Right.

Jessica:            And so there's these layers of complexity.

Guest:              It's very⁠—I don't know. I don't know. I've always felt that way.

Jessica:            That it was ⁠—

Guest:              So important to keep the bloodline going.

Jessica:            I mean, I was certainly raised with that, that idea. I think a lot of us were raised with the idea that it is essential that we maintain our own individual family line, and I think that for many people of many cultures, there's this idea that we have to keep the culture going. We have to keep our racial and ethnic identities surviving in a world that can be so oppressive and restrictive to them. And that's all very fucking real, and that is a really powerful personal choice to make because while that stuff exists and is real and is true, at the exact same time, what exists and is real and is true⁠—we are stewards of our own individual lives, and we have to live in ways that are self-appropriate.

                        Having a child to pass on a bloodline⁠—I mean, that's a rough choice because it's not what the day-to-day of raising a child is. But the larger issue of will your family line die out with you, that's a really serious question and not one that I can really answer in a way that will satisfy you because that's like one of those between you and God things. It really is. No matter what you do, it is a compromise. And for some people, there's answers that wouldn't be a compromise. Don't have a kid; do have a kid. Either of those things could be, "That's my clear yes."

                        You don't have a firm, clear yes or a firm, clear no. That means you have a choice. And that brings me back to your North Node. Identifying who you are, accepting who you are, and making choices that honor who you are, that's what you've come here on a soul level to do, which is why so much of our conversation has been about how and who you choose to partner with instead of about having a kid, because yes, of course, you could be a single parent, and maybe you'll end up as a single parent. But I see that you would be really happy to have a travel sex best friend partner that was really compatible with you. That's a clear, easy yes; you want that.

Guest:              And that's not selfish at all?

Jessica:            I don't think that's selfish. I see your chart, and I'm like, "Oh, cool. You're a fucking weirdo." You can create a relationship of equals. Now, you have to find kind of a unicorn to get a man who wants to do equality⁠—like really wants to do equality. But whatever. You're a unicorn hunter. You could totally do that. That's not impossible for you. You've done lots of things that defy expectation. That's how you're wired.

So I don't look at your chart and see you're supposed to be alone or you will be alone or that you have been alone. I see that you've been independent. I don't see that you've been lonely. I'm sure you've had your moments, but that's not what characterizes your life. You do have quite a queer chart. It's nothing about gayness; it's about queerness. It's not being heterotypical. It's your gender and your sexuality and what works for you⁠—it's not super binary. It's not heterotypical. It's a fucking wonderful thing.

                        The "but" is so much of what you're talking about is feeling like, "Oh, I should be different than this. I should be more of a typical girl where I prioritize relationships and I want this thing and I defer to this thing of being a partner or being a mom." And I don't see that that's your truth. And I don't think that means you have to be lonely, and I don't think that means you have to be single at all. But⁠—yeah. No, hit me with your question.

Guest:              I do want to know if you see who's hanging out around me. Do I have anyone hanging out around me?

Jessica:            I specifically didn't look at your dad, only because I was just like, we're having this whole conversation. Say his full name out loud.

Guest:              [redacted]

Jessica:            And you know how he passed?

Guest:              He was murdered.

Jessica:            Okay. So you did know that. Okay. I'm sorry. Okay. So I want to ask you what you would want to know or what kind of feedback you would like to get.

Guest:              I would like to know if he, one, knew the person who killed him, and just anything that he would want to share with me about me.

Jessica:            Okay.

Guest:              My mother doesn't talk about him at all. I know nothing about him.

Jessica:            Oh. That's awful. You've seen his photo, though?

Guest:              Yeah. I have like four.

Jessica:            Oh, that's it?

Guest:              But she will not talk about him, so I know nothing. That side of the family is dead. So, when I said continuing the bloodline, that's like…

Jessica:            That is a big deal. It's a really big deal. I think he did know the person who killed him, yes.

Guest:              Okay.

Jessica:            Yeah. And it was not work-related, correct? No. It feels like it was completely separate. What he's showing me is it was a little bit of a wrong place, wrong time thing. It wasn't like a premeditated, someone came for him thing. But also, he did some stupid shit, and he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's what he's showing me. He's being a little vague, and he's actually giving me some visuals. But he's being a little vague because this is not what he wants⁠—it's not what he wants to be important to you because his death is⁠—it happened. And so he's kind of accepted it.

Your father has a lot of guilt. He has a lot of guilt about what his death and what his choices⁠—what he's showing me is what his choices⁠—how they impacted you and your mom and his family.

Guest:              My issue is that he was a Marine, and they didn't try to identify⁠—do any kind of detective work. He was active duty. He was on leave. It was like two days before Christmas. There were so many things that⁠—

Jessica:            That's so intense.

Guest:              You'd think that they would put this in the newspaper or something, but it being before the internet⁠—so I really don't know anything.

Jessica:            So the first thing he showed me is that he was shot and⁠—

Guest:              His ego⁠—I understand his ego, his pride, is very strong.

Jessica:            Okay. Okay. That makes sense because he showed me that he was shot. He's showing me that he turned his back on someone. Now, I don't know if he physically turned his back on him or if he means that more metaphorically, but he turned his back on someone that he knew, and that person shot him. I wouldn't be surprised if it was another person who was active duty, like it was somebody he knew. And it looks like it was nighttime. That's all he's really showing me.

Guest:              So, when you see him, he's still present; he's not⁠—like is he in his body still, or is he more of an energy?

Jessica:            Sometimes dead people⁠—I am not the most visual person. I am such a Capricorn. I'm like, "That's not real. I don't"⁠—so they tend to hop in my body. And when I say I'm seeing things, it's like I'm having a visual in my memories is how it feels, is the best way I can describe it. And I can't tell if this is what he looked like or if this is how he wants me to feel about the way he looked, but really good mustache⁠—but this is the thing. I have a thing for mustaches. A good, thick mustache is my jam. So I can't tell if he's trying to show me he was handsome or if he really had a really thick mustache. Do you know?

Guest:              He had a mustache. Yeah.

Jessica:            Okay. It was like a mustache to have a conversation about. It was a very good mustache. He's a funny guy. He felt like he was kind of like a⁠—grow on you. He gets better looking the longer you talk to him. He's that kind of guy is how he's showing me. He is not far away. He is right here. And this is the thing. When we die, there's no such thing as time. So the body dies, but we don't die. So it's not like, oh, he's been gone for all these years⁠—for him. For you, it's been many years, but for him, it's just a different time. I don't know how else to put it. So it's not like, oh, he's been holding on for you and you should feel any kind of way about it. You're his child. He very much loved you. He very much loved you. You don't know anything about it, eh?

Guest:              So there was a language barrier, and the nature of his death sent a rift between his family and my mom's family. And then throw in the language barrier. I think there were some issues with who received the money, that kind of stuff.

Jessica:            I see. I think your parents had a conflictual dynamic. And has your mom not talked to you about that at all?

Guest:              She will not talk about it.

Jessica:            Your dad⁠—as I'm talking to him, this part of you that you and I have been talking about, this adventurous The Dude part of you⁠—that's your dad. I mean, that's your dad. I mean, you're so much like your dad. He's very cute. What I would say are some of the best parts of your personality⁠—that's your dad. You're so much like your dad.

Guest:              And I think that's been a problem with my mother.

Jessica:            Of course it has. You're so much like your dad, and because you didn't grow up with him, you didn't get to rebel against your personality traits like him. So my guess is you have a lot of mannerisms that are just like his. He was doing something stupid, and so he has a lot of guilt about his death because he was doing something stupid. He's not telling me what he was doing. He doesn't want to talk about it. And it could've just been like he wasn't paying attention in a place he should have been paying attention, but he knew better. He's just really frustrated with himself about it. I think it was hard with your parents, not necessarily all the time, but it looks like it was hard with your parents. They both thought that they had time to figure all the things out.

Guest:              Does he have a sister, an estranged sister?

Jessica:            It looks like he has a sister. I think he has a sister. Yes. But before we move away, let me just tell you what he was just telling me. He thinks you would be a wonderful mom. He really does believe you would be a wonderful mom. And he's seen you do so many things in your life that just prove that you would be such a great mom. He also doesn't think you need to have kids for anyone but you. He really likes it that you are an independent woman, and he wants you to do what you want to do. In other words, he's not pressing for you to have kids to pass on the family line. That's not his take or agenda. It could be yours. It could be your grandma's. It's not his.

                        He was a really independent guy, and he likes that you're an independent guy, too. He really likes that about you. So, yeah, it makes him feel close to you. And it wouldn't take anything if you had a kid. Your dad was funny. I mean, he's just like you. My God. I mean, it's like you're both really rigid and you get things done and you're really focused and also wild and weird and just spontaneous. You guys have such similar personalities. He came across as so sweet, but he had this⁠—he wasn't a bad boy, but he is just a real surprising person. He would come up with these sharp, smart things that you wouldn't expect from him. He was just a really interesting guy.

                        I see. So your father says that you're scared of being like your mother and getting stuck⁠—

Guest:              Oh yeah.

Jessica:            ⁠—and that you've never been like your mother in this way. You're like your mother in a lot of ways, but not in the way that you're scared of. And you've never been like your mother in the way that you're scared of. He has a lot of empathy for your mom and what she's had to go through and the choices she's made. And also, he says that he has also wanted to shake her and that of all the mistakes you're going to make, they're going to be yours. They're not hers. She's made her mistakes, and she's made her choices. You don't have to prove to yourself that you're not like her. You're just not like her in that way. You're more like him. I mean, hopefully not in some specific ways.

                        Hold on. What is that? You have somebody else dead, too, eh? Another guy dead? Were you close to your grandpa?

Guest:              [redacted]

Jessica:            Who's that?

Guest:              That's my grandfather.

Jessica:            Did you know him? Is that your dad's dad, then?

Guest:              Mom's dad.

Jessica:            And did you know him?

Guest:              I did know him.

Jessica:            So this is your mom's dad that I'm seeing. He's around you. He has got nothing to say. You know what I mean? He's just like, "Nothing useful to say here." But his presence is how he shows love is what it feels like. Is that how he was?

Guest:              He was very stoic, but he was just a sweet, sweet, sweet man.

Jessica:            Yep. Yep. Yeah. Stoic. That makes sense with what I'm getting on him. He's just not⁠—he isn't coming through with a message. He's just coming through so that you know he's there for you. He's still there for you.

Guest:              He was definitely the only source of nurturing I got when I was a kid.

Jessica:            I'm sorry. Well, he's still doing it. He's still doing it because he's like⁠—you're talking to your dad, so he's coming through to let you know that he's there. Not that he's mad at your dad, but he's present, too. And I feel like he's just protective of you with this man. Not that there's something wrong with this man. It's just that your dad was an unpredictable man, and then he had this unpredictable demise. And it was hard on your mom [indiscernible].

Guest:              I'm getting feedback. Is he just risky? Is that what it is? With no regard?

Jessica:            Your father says he has regard. But I think that he was sometimes selfish. He was selfish, and it's not because he was like a classically selfish man. It's because⁠—you get it. You're like this. It's like he gets drawn by an idea or he gets drawn by a feeling, or something just feels like the right thing to do, and he just does it.

Guest:              Spontaneous.

Jessica:            Yeah. I mean, he's a man who has this in common with you. Imagine. What your father wants for you is to live a life that feels like your own, that is fun. He wants you to have fun. And he doesn't mean this in a Girls Gone Wild⁠—he's not trying to tell you to go off and do stupid shit. He wants you to have a life that feels fun to you, and he knows that what feels fun to you is having meaning and following through on things that are important to you. He understands that fun for you is having these intimate relationships that are sometimes really hard work. He sees you. He gets you. He's been there. But he doesn't want you to let them⁠—is how he's saying it, so I think it's your mom's side of the family. I don't think it's your grandma or just your mom. It's like he's saying anyone in that family⁠—to make you feel like you have to be a different person than you are in order to honor them.

                        He feels that if he hadn't died, if he had gotten the chance to be your dad, he would have fucked up a lot. And he's telling you that because he doesn't want you to idealize him. He understands that he⁠—

Guest:              That's presumptuous, but okay.

Jessica:            But that's your dad, let me just say. He feels that he would have made mistakes, and he⁠—I mean, again, he has a lot of guilt. He has a lot of guilt, a lot of guilt for dying, because it was a stupid death is how he's putting it. It wasn't the way he ever thought it would go.

Guest:              Maybe that's why there wasn't an investigation, or…

Jessica:            What happened was not like somebody wanted to kill your dad. That is not what it looks like happened. It was not on purpose. But he just wasn't alert enough is how he's showing it to me. He wasn't watching his back.

Guest:              He let his guard down. Okay.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Guest:              Okay.

Jessica:            Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Guest:              But I do appreciate you taking the time to tap in, though. I do.

Jessica:            Of course. Of course.

Guest:              I do. I had no information on him, so everything that you shared with me right now is just more than I ever could imagine.

Jessica:            Wow. Wow. I'm so glad to.

Guest:              So I do appreciate it.

Jessica:            Technology⁠—you'll notice it started to get all fucked up when we started channeling your dad. That just happens.

Guest:              Oh. Okay.

Jessica:            Yeah. That's why that⁠—I'm starting to hear that echo, too, and I can see you're fucking with your ear things. That happens. It's like too much energy, and things get funky. I do think he has other relatives that are still living, so maybe it's the estranged sister. I don't know. It doesn't piss him off if you go do that. He does want you to be connected to his family. He was a very stubborn man.

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            If you talk to his sister, you're going to find that out.

Guest:              I think she decided to disconnect from the family for a reason, and that's [indiscernible 01:05:56] personality to do that.

Jessica:            That's your father's side of the family. But you're like that, too. Right?

Guest:              I would never do that.

Jessica:            I see. It's interesting. So let me just say this. You wouldn't do that because you've had the life you've had, but you have that thing in your personality where you're like, "If the bridge needs to be burned, I do have matches." You do have that fire in you. That comes out of your dad's side. And it's just the combo platter of personalities, trauma, and time, the time that this all happened. There wasn't time for things to get repaired. Your father is not giving great feedback about sister/not sister except for to say you have his blessing to do anything you want to do.

                        You gotta know your dad is like the OG weirdo here, and I really appreciate that. He's not worried about you not knowing the difference between right and wrong. He says if we were talking when you were in your 20s, he might have different words to say. But he's not worried about you knowing the difference between right and wrong. You make good decisions. He doesn't feel like he needs to tell you how to make choices for your life. He just wants to encourage you to make the choices you want to make.

                        Your dad's⁠—he's got a real teddy bear side about him. He really does. And I'm focusing on this weirdo part partially because I like it and partially because it's so much of what you and I have been talking about about you, and it's so different from your mom. He wants me to repeat he wasn't perfect, and you probably would have butted heads because the two of you are so much alike. And also, he loves you and he's proud of you, and he has not stopped being your dad. As you kind of mentioned earlier, sometimes I talk to dead people and they're really far away, and it's hard for me to access them; it's hard for me to really hear them. Not your dad. He's right here. He's right here. And your grandpa⁠—right here.

                        So it's interesting. You have these men who love you deeply, who are not intrusive, not invasive, respect your boundaries, but are love and support cheering you on. And I gotta say that's not the most common thing I see in the world. So it's really cool, especially because so much of what we've been talking about has been your relationship to men. And you do have these guides. I mean, they're not like spiritual guides in the way that I often use the term, but you have these ancestors who love you and are with you and really good at boundaries. So they're not with you when you don't want them to be. But I mean, he just loves your life.

Guest:              Oh, really?

Jessica:            He just loves your life. He's really impressed by your life. You're much smarter than he was, according to him. He says you're much smarter than your mom. He says you're just really smart. You're the smartest person in the family, and he's so impressed by that. And he's saying that you have street smarts, and you're intelligent at the same time. That's the kind of smart he's into. He doesn't just like book smart. He finds that to be a little sus. But you've got both parts, and he's so impressed by that. He's so impressed about the way that you navigate yourself in the world and the way that you handle people. You handle people really well in a way that he sometimes thinks is funny. It's just like you're good at working people. You're good at bossing people. You're good at collaborating. He's very impressed by your intelligence and how you run your life⁠—

Guest:              Wow.

Jessica:            ⁠—which is not something we've talked about at all in this reading, but it's so important to him because these are things that he cares about, but also, these are things he's seen you grow into. You've always had these skills and this nature, but in your 30s, they've just shifted. You've really come into yourself. So he doesn't want you to change. He just wants you to keep on doing what you're doing. And you own your house?

Guest:              No.

Jessica:            Is that one of your goals, to own a house?

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Okay, because he's just showing me that that's a goal.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            That's a goal. That's something that you truly want for yourself and you're working towards, and it's okay that it takes a long time because you know you want to get there.

Guest:              Yeah. That is absolutely my priority right now.

Jessica:            I see that. And you're looking at a condo, like an apartment?

Guest:              You know what? After the prices are doing what they're doing right now, I don't know. But I do want my own space, my own pad to land.

Jessica:            Okay. So he would rather you have land, but he doesn't like the land available⁠—I'm sorry. He's going full dad on you. He doesn't like the land available in your area. He doesn't think that's a good match for you. So, if you're going to get a place where you are, he thinks it's a better idea to go for one of those condos you've been considering, something that's not like a forever home but that you can build up your finances, and also, it's like a starter experience. And he says that you've been kind of considering that, but you've been considering too many options. But he thinks that's the best one.

And down the line, you're probably going to leave is what he's saying. And so he's like, at that point, you'll buy a different kind of home. But this is more a thing to think about, like what is a good investment for you? It's a good place for you to live for a period of time, but it will have some sort of resale value. That's what he thinks is a better idea. I don't know that he was that great with money or anything, but he's really passionate about this. And he thinks that once this goal is achieved, you're going to have this weight off your chest, like this is something very important to you, which is interesting because you came to me with this, "The thing that's so important is should I have kids," and I looked at it energetically, and I was like, "It's not that important to you."

And then your dad's like, "You really want to own a place." And it's really interesting because I think that part of what your dad is showing me is that whatever place you buy in the next two years is kind of what he's giving me the vibe of⁠—dead people do not predict the future, just FYI, but that's what he's saying. But it's not like he has some mystical way to see the future, just so you know. He's just⁠—again, he's bossy. You know what I mean? In a very charming way, not in a pushy, bad way. But I like pushy, so I think it's charming.

Okay. So his attitude is the place that you're going to get or that you could get, it's not going to be a threat to a future partnership because, again, it's an investment. It's an investment in you, and it's a financial investment. So he's really excited about this idea for you, like very excited, and he thinks it might be a little bit closer than you've been telling yourself it is. So I would keep my eyes open, if I were you, just because your dad's got this vibe about it. He's got this very excited vibe about it. He's a really big fan of you.

Guest:              I mean, I've never⁠—this is the first time they were kind of ever⁠—so I could never even⁠—because my mom wouldn't discuss it, and my abuela and my [indiscernible 01:13:07] were very rocked by his death, and they didn't discuss it either. I was never able to even paint the picture of what he was like. So this has been so, so helpful.

Jessica:            I'm so glad.

Guest:              Extremely, extremely helpful. I absolutely appreciate you taking the time because I had no clue. I just knew that I have four pictures of him. So, with my grandmother bringing this up, it's like, fuck.

Jessica:            That's intense.

Guest:              Yeah. And I don't want to lose his lineage as well. So it's a lot. But also, too, we are all made of star stuff.

Jessica:            Yes. Agreed. I mean, I am of that mindset much more. And also, if I could leave you with this⁠—

Guest:              Okay.

Jessica:            ⁠— we are all capable of manifesting, calling things in, making choices, directing our lives. But if you took the spiritual attitude on this topic that you've taken with other successful things in your life, then what you would be doing is you would be setting the stage without attaching to what happens. And that still remains a question around freezing your eggs. But if you are not driven by fear, if you're only driven by energy, by following the flow, then this is not your priority at this time, and it has never been your priority.

                        And at 38 or almost 38, if it's never been your priority and it's not your priority, that's worth listening to and honoring. And if by listening to it and honoring it and sitting with it, you have grief, that's pretty fucking normal, and that's okay. But if that grief shows you that maybe you're disassociated and maybe you actually do want this, cool. There's your answer. There will be energy and flow there. But if you sit with it and there's grief or there isn't, and then that's it⁠—it just stays like that—then that's your answer because the world will tell us, "Oh, don't worry. You're going to want to have kids sooner or later. Trust me. When you get to a certain age, you're going to want to have kids." But you're just about 38, and that hasn't been the thing for you yet.

                        So honor that. Give yourself permission to have that, and in doing so, it might change and it might not. There are so many reasons to be unhappy. There are so many reasons why you may be unhappy. I don't see not having kids as being high on the list for you. I see the fear that it might be one day on the list is a reason that you're unhappy, but that's a different problem. And when we mislabel our problems, we are not satisfied with our solutions. So we do have to wrap up, but I'm really glad we got to do this. It went in lots of twists and turns nobody expected.

Guest:              Absolutely. Jessica, you have no idea. You have no idea. I'm so grateful for this reading, and the information you provided me gave me a lot of clarity and really solidified some of the things that I've been pondering about. And so thank you for taking my question and taking the time to speak with my father. Thank you.

Jessica:            It is my pleasure. All right.

Guest:              Thank you, Jessica.

Jessica:            Take care.

Guest:              Bye.

Jessica:            Bye.

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I mean, my gosh, okay. Listen. I'm just going to say between my personal family history⁠—I'm from refugees on both sides, and both sides of my family are from very different regions of the world. And paying attention to world events, both domestic news and looking at international news, and of course being an astrologer, I've really been struggling lately and really struggling with knowing what to say this week. I'm overwhelmed, to say the least.

I became a full-time consulting astrologer back in 1999. And by the time 2018 came around, I was booking clients a year in advance. But I stopped scheduling one-on-one clients by the end of 2018 because I astrologically saw what was coming in 2020. That said, in 2019, I was still meeting with clients full time. At that time, in my consultations, I was all the time telling people, "I don't know. Maybe don't do X. Maybe wait on Y because there's a coming civil war." And of course, people didn't want to hear that or didn't believe me. Both of those things are perfectly reasonable.

And unfortunately, my loves, here we are. The Supreme Court has gone rogue in this country. In this past week, we've had several mass shootings, injustice after injustice, and terrible things happen all the time to people all over the world. That is unfortunately a fact. And also, wonderful things, of course, happen to people all the time all over the world. But it's important for us to be aware of and honest about the fact that here in the U.S., we are making a rapid descent into fascism, and ultimately the collapse of the great American experiment is happening in the here and now.

I mean, this is the Pluto Return. For all of you deep astrology nerds, you saw it coming. You knew it was happening. And it's one thing to know something. Astrology is very analytic. It's another thing to live through it, and it's another thing to have the emotional capacity to acknowledge the fear and anger and anxiety and discomfort⁠—all the things that happen in the fall. This is a time to get your shit together. This is a time for all of us to get our shit together.

I want to say, though, don't get confused about who your enemies are, who your enemy is. We need to keep our viewfinder focused on systems. We're talking about patriarchy, white supremacy, Christian nationalism and capitalism. These systems are interconnected, and they are very, very powerful. They're insidious, and we can't separate ourselves from them. It's just not really possible when we're living in a society governed by them.

I want to say if we don't find ways of standing up for ourselves and others, if we don't find ways of coming together and building coalitions, things will be much worse for us as both individuals but also for us as a collective. Toxic individualism⁠—individualism perhaps in general, but perhaps toxic individualism, enables fascism to thrive. Don't turn on your neighbors. And I'm using the term "neighbors" broadly. No one deserves to have their human rights violated by individuals, governments, or corporations. None of us do, not now, not ever.

And there is so much positive potential for the transformation of our systems and even for the transformation of our willingness and ability to confront difficult truths and to be activated in times of need. I mean, ultimately⁠—and I've talked about this over the years before, but ultimately, that's why I started Ghost of a Podcast. I wanted to create a resource for you to be able to cultivate the emotional skills to navigate the treacherous times I saw us stepping into. I gotta say there is a great deal of potential here, but that potential is happening within struggle. That's what's happening.

And of course, I can't talk about any kind of predictive astrology without talking about these issues because the United States is going through a really dangerous and explosive time with the Pluto Return and other astrological things. The global astrology is also really rough. I know many of you are listening from outside of the U.S., and also, many of you inside the U.S. pay attention to the world. So you know there's a lot of shit going down right now. And when a superpower like the United States becomes sufficiently destabilized, it has a global impact.

We are all interconnected. This is true from a material standpoint, and it's true from a spiritual standpoint. And whether you're angry or you're anxious or you're checked out or you're terrified or all of the above, it is time to find your voice, your way into a movement, a way to mobilize, a way to be a part of things. None of us is exempt from dealing with this and having personal responsibilities here. And I gotta say, if you want to hide, if you're hiding, unfortunately, when you hide you're alone. And loneliness plus fear equals some pretty miserable outcomes.

So, again, I want to just reinforce this is a meaningful time to seek community. And maybe that means touching back in with people that you're connected to. Maybe that means building new connections. You don't have to be an extrovert to find ways of participating within community. There's a lot of ways of doing it. There's a lot of ways that community exists. Find whatever resonates for you.

Now, that all said, I of course have a lot to talk to you about astrologically. Before I get into the details, I want to just remind you if you took my High Times and Addiction class, whether you took it live with me or you've bought and watched the webinar on your own, then I invite you to join me for this Ask Me Anything that I'm doing on Social Hour where I'm going to answer your questions about addiction, substance use, etc., etc. And it's going to be really fun. And another really cool thing about this particular event is that there's going to be time both before and after the AMA to connect with other people in the class so you can get really nerdy about astrology together and make connections, a little community-building. Hey, you know I like it. Anyways, so you can register for that class. The link is in the show notes, and it's also on the Shop page of my website over at lovelanyadoo.com. So check it out there, and I hope to see you on the 17th.

So we're getting into your horoscope. We're looking at the week of July 10th through the 16th of 2022, and it begins with a sextile, happily, on the 10th. But before I delineate that, let me just pull back and acknowledge July is kind of a heavy month. July⁠—if you get my month-ahead bonus episode on Patreon, then you know I've been concerned about this month. This is a fucking heavy month. Honestly, August doesn't look a lot better. But this last week was really stressful. A lot of people are undergoing just intense anxiety and anger, and it's a lot. It's a lot. And so I wanted to just acknowledge that. And the transits responsible for it I delineated in last week's episode, so if you missed it, you can listen to it.

But I want to just acknowledge you're not alone in feeling how you're feeling. And unfortunately, when each of us as individuals are going through a rough time, it places greater pressure on our relationships⁠—our relationships at home, at work, socially, romantically, all of it. And so do your best to manage your self-care in a way that actually makes you feel cared for because that will help you to have a foundation within yourself to engage with others from that works. And when I say works, I don't mean that gives you everything you want, but that puts you in a position where if you're going to have problems, at least you are learning from the situation. You are showing up to the situation. You are not making things worse unnecessarily⁠—that kind of fun stuff.

Okay. Anyways, on the 10th, we have an exact sextile between the Sun and Uranus. And this is a lovely transit.  Sun sextile to Uranus is just a little exciting⁠—and I say just a little. It's not upsetting. It's just kind of titillating. It can bring about new experiences. It can spur you to feel inspired to take a new approach or to perceive or understand things from a new perspective.  The Sun sextile to Uranus is energizing. Uranus is like a little zip of energy to the Sun. And so, if you've been kind of feeling like you're dragging yourself around/you haven't had a lot of energy, the Sun sextile to Uranus is really lovely. It can just bring in enough excitement to juj you up.

This transit is a good one for starting new things, exploring, being open. So, if something comes your way and it seems a little out of left field, be open to it. Explore. See what happens. You know what I mean? You might just, on a really small level, take a different route to work. Walk on a different side of the street than you usually do. I don't know. Use different emojis when you're texting your bestie. It doesn't have to be anything big, but sometimes making small and kind of insignificant changes⁠—it can be really helpful for our brains.

And that brings us to the 12th. On the 12th, we've got two exact transits. We have an exact Mercury square to Chiron. Now, listen. If you noticed, on the 8th, we had an exact Sun square to Chiron. You were feeling it last week the 7th, 8th, and 9th, but on the 8th it was the most intense. And this Mercury square to Chiron is at the exact same degree. So, if you had a particularly rough go of it on and around the 8th, you can expect to not love this transit either. Mercury square to Chiron is a challenging transit because⁠—Chiron. As I mentioned last week, Chiron is related to our evolution.

The opportunity here is to engage with conflict, which Mercury square Chiron can bring up because Mercury is not just related to communications, your thoughts, and your attitudes⁠—we all know that because of Mercury Retrograde. It's also related to your friends, your platonic connections, your neighbors, your aunts and uncles. It's related to the people that you meet when you're walking down the street. Mercury square Chiron can bring up interpersonal conflicts, and those interpersonal conflicts are likely to be because you or someone else does something that touches on a raw nerve. You or someone else may act out in response to that wounded feeling.

It's about this old wounding being activated in a relationship or in a dynamic. And so we want to, to the best of our ability, try to be aware of the intensity of our reactions so that we can meter our responses. This is difficult. It's very difficult. It takes critical thinking, and critical thinking is thinking about thinking while thinking. It's not easy. But being aware of what's going on within you and how you're reacting and responding to whatever is happening in your life or whatever's happening within is really valuable. It's really, really valuable.

This transit can find you caught up in really unproductive thought patterns⁠—again, Mercury. It can have you fixated on the things that hurt your feelings instead of the things that help you heal. So, if you find yourself just looping around some sort of negative or painful thought process, I gotta say this is going to be an important time to be like, "Oh shit. I must be really triggered." And if you can recognize that you're being triggered, that doesn't invalidate the thing you're upset about. Let's be clear. It does not invalidate it. But what it does is it gives you more information about what's actually happening for you. And what's happening within you and for you is not just about the situation. It's about your lived experience leading up to the situation, which this situation and whoever you're dealing with now is probably not responsible for because, again, it's Mercury, so it's not likely to be your mom or your dad who's bumming you out. It's likely to be more of a friend situation⁠—not the person who created the wound, just the person who happens to be leaning on your raw wound.

Now, luckily, Venus is forming an exact trine to Saturn on the same day. And this transit is stabilizing. Venus and Saturn are the two planets most concerned with security and stability in the zodiac. When they form a trine to each other, you can tap into⁠—I don't know⁠—lessons you learned in therapy or that one account you follow on social media that has historically really supported you and made you feel seen and made you feel more grounded. You can always find that social media account and just scroll through their content.

We have the capacity to use the material world⁠—Saturn and Venus⁠—as a resource for supporting our mental⁠—Mercury⁠—and spiritual⁠—Chiron⁠—evolution. It takes intention. It's a choice, or rather, it's a series of choices. And it's not always easy to make choices, period, but especially when you're suffering or you're really triggered⁠—which we're likely to be feeling because it's a freaking Mercury square Chiron⁠—it's easy to forget that you have options. So here's a gentle reminder. You've got options. You've got resources. Don't forget to use them.

Now, for better or worse, my loves, that's not all, because on the 13th, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn. And that Full Moon in Capricorn overlaps with these two transits I just named. And on the same date, the 13th of July, we've also got a Mercury sextile to Uranus and a Venus square to Neptune. Okay. So Full Moons happen once a month, and every once in a blue moon, they happen more than once in a month. But broadly speaking, they are once a month, and they occur when the Sun and Moon are exactly opposite each other not just by sign but by degree.

In astrology, Full Moons are a really big deal, but not just in astrology. Full Moons have an objective outcome. People act different during a Full Moon, and that's because our emotions cannot be repressed and tamped down. They come to the surface, and they can get quite demanding. People act out. And sometimes we act out against others, sometimes ourselves, during a Full Moon. So Full Moons are always a really big deal. This particular Full Moon is exact at 11:38 a.m. and is occurring at 21 degrees of Capricorn. The Sun is at 21 of Cancer.

Okay. So the tension between Cancer and Capricorn is the tension between what I need to do in the world, what I feel I need to do in the world, and what I need for my heart and for my home, or what I feel I need for those things is the very generalized tension between Cancer and Capricorn. Now, in this Full Moon chart, we've got a Sun/Mercury conjunction. And that means the Sun and Mercury are both opposite to the Moon. Now, this complicates matters. And it complicates matters because when the Sun and Mercury are conjoined, we tend to be more heavily identified with our ideas, and so we become less objective.

Now let's throw another thing into the mix, which is when the Moon is opposite Mercury, it's hard for us to parse out what we actually feel or what we actually think. And that's because our feelings and our thoughts are kind of smooshed together in such a way that we can become really subjective, really defensive, and project a lot. And then here's another layer of complexity. The Moon is conjoined to Pluto. It is also opposite to the Sun. Now, Mercury and Pluto are not opposite to each other in this chart, but Pluto is opposite to the Sun and conjoined to the Moon. So we can expect very intense emotions.

Pluto brings up issues from deep within. It always brings up emotions related to shame and guilt and resentment. It's the sticky, yucky, petty ones. That's Pluto's thing. And so, unfortunately, we are likely to be going through a lot of heavy, intense emotions, feeling very easily triggered, no extra thanks to the Chiron/Mercury square, but feeling really extra triggered. So, you personally, you might be chill. None of this might hit your chart in any particular way. You might be in all the therapies doing all the work and just sailing through it. But you still live in the world, so other people are going to be going through this. You're likely to be dealing with people who are acting weird, and they're acting weird because they're feeling a lot.

Now, unfortunately, given the very unstable, dramatic place the world is at and the fact that Pluto is a big player right now here in the United States because we're going through the Pluto Return of the United States at 27 degrees of Capricorn⁠—which it is in this chart, of course⁠—we may see some really dramatic things go on this week in this country. And it is likely to be quite violent. And I will say I think the repeal of Roe v. Wade is violence, so it's not just bang-bang, punch-punch. When we're dealing with Pluto, it is systemic violence. It's a big-picture repression or oppression. That's Pluto's jam, unfortunately. And it is also possible that more people are going to be feeling it.

I haven't talked about monkeypox on the podcast, although many of you have reached out to ask about it. But it seems to be moving towards a pandemic as well. And I can't help but feel like this Full Moon is going to push things with monkeypox, unfortunately, in a damn direction. So you're being careful, right? If you're being careful, it's great. And if you're not being careful, may I invite you to be a little more careful? But what we know for sure with this Full Moon is that things are going to come up that have been lurking in the shadows. Things are going to come up that are hard to cope with and hard to talk about, and we are not likely to be super graceful with it all, because this Mercury component to the oppositions I'm talking about⁠—it muddles Mercury's precision because we're so emotional, it's hard to engage with situations in a properly objective way.

Another thing happening in this Full Moon chart is, of course, the continued square between Saturn and Uranus. And I say continued⁠—it's newly continued. This is our first Moon in several months that includes an activated Saturn/Uranus square. So we are seeing more of infrastructure⁠—whether it's in our personal lives, in our psychology, our innermost self, or in the world around us⁠—crumbling, needing attention, needing innovation, needing change.

And then we have an exact Venus square to Neptune in this chart, as I mentioned earlier. Now, the Venus square to Neptune is not great news, I'm sorry to say. It's bad news. And we will be feeling the Venus square to Neptune, unfortunately, all week leading up to the Full Moon. The Venus square to Neptune is anxiety-provoking. This transit can have you in a state of mind where you just feel unsure of where you stand with other people, preoccupied with someone that's unattainable or inaccessible to you. This transit can take up a lot of anxiety, and that anxiety can get fixated on relationships. It can also get fixated on body image and beauty stuff. It can get fixated on your finances.

But in the context of everything that's going on, it will likely have to do with your sense of security and stability or your relationships. Unfortunately, this is especially bad news given the Moon is conjoined to Pluto in this Full Moon, and the Sun is conjoined to Mercury opposite the Moon. Yikes, because what this transit can do is make us feel really insecure. It can make us feel insecure about where we stand with others, whether or not we're acting in ways that we mean to be behaving. We can become really insecure about the way we look or what we've got or any of that kind of crap. And this anxiety can incline us to behave in ways that are off-kilter; they're just destabilized. And this, of course, can make people respond in weird ways, which becomes a vicious cycle.

The risk here is that you get involved in some sort of martyred dynamic where you're being treated poorly or taken advantage of, or you're not asserting boundaries, or you're asserting boundaries and they're simply not being respected. Or you may be in a situation where you're putting others on a pedestal and imagining that they are perfect, or you may have put people or someone on a pedestal, and then you have this crash through the transit where you realize that they are just a person, and they are not what you imagined them to be.

This transit is hard because it makes us want attention and affection and ease. But when we tend to feel needy is not when we tend to get the most attention and love because that can feel burdensome to other people. And I'm not saying this as a total truism. I'm saying this in the context of this transit. It's how it tends to go. And so this transit within this Full Moon chart can lead to some really messy relationship dynamics, and those relationship dynamics may be happening in a really dramatic Full Moon way where you're having a blowout or you're acting out or someone else is doing that, or it might be that everything's happening inside of you and it's really stressful.

This is not a great time for trying to do deep and intense spiritual work, especially something that's outside of what you typically do, because this energy is really chaotic and all over the place. It's really chaotic and all over the place, and it would be hard to harness energy at this time. This Full Moon chart and this transit of the Neptune/Venus square have so much to teach us about nonattachment and boundaries. And when I talk to you about this, I want to say, telling all these negative things about the Venus square to Neptune⁠—it is a negative transit; it is a hard transit. But it happens so that we learn boundaries.

And here's the complicated thing about boundaries. You can have the greatest boundaries in town. You can express them perfectly, and it doesn't mean that other people are going to respect them. It means you did your part. And when you do your part and other people show you their ass, that's not a reflection on you. That is what they're choosing to show you. That's a reflection on them. What becomes important for you to do is to take the information in without value judgments, without attachment to what it means about yourself or what it means for your future, but just take it as information. What is a reflection on you is how you handle information. So, if you have healthy boundaries and someone is disrespectful, it's important to take that in and to assess it.

And you don't have to make any major decisions during the Full Moon⁠—I mean, hopefully you don't. This is way too emotional of a moment to make any sweeping decisions. So, if you can avoid doing that, I strongly recommend it. This Full Moon is going to be really emotional. So put in place the healthiest things you can, whether it's alone time or time with people you trust and care about, whatever it is that works for you. Put those things in place as a support because it's a lot.

Now, the one last thing to name of this transit is that Mercury sextile to Uranus that is also exact on the 13th. This transit within the Full Moon chart is a blessing because it supports us in being open-minded, in having the willingness and ability to perceive things from a different angle, very similar to the Sun/Uranus sextile I named that's exact on the 10th. This transit on its own is not strong enough to radically change all the other stuff I named to you, but it is a clue. And the clue points to innovation, adaptability, and experimentation. Be willing to get out of your own way, to perceive things differently, to engage in new ways, to be present and have your mind or your thoughts oriented towards the future instead of too attached to the past. Mercury sextile to Uranus supports us in doing all of those things. So thank you very much, Mercury/Uranus. Thank you very much.

Now, that brings us to the next and last exact transit of the week, and then I got a little extra something to tell you about that's going to be happening in next week's horoscope but leading into this one. On the 16th, we have a Sun conjunction to Mercury in the zodiac sign of Cancer. So this transit on its own is lovely. It's a great transit because it makes us a little bit more curious, more open to communication. It has the potential to broaden our minds. Lovely, right? It's good for socializing, putting yourself out there. Mercury brings a little bit of adaptability to the Sun. Lovely.

Unfortunately, because of the context of the rest of what's going on around this transit, it can have us doubling down on our beliefs and attitudes, barking and talking at people instead of having an equal exchange, or basically seeking confirmation bias where you're just like, "This is what I believe, and I'm only going to take in information from sources that agree with me." So you want to be on the lookout for the negative potential of this transit because the positive potential of this transit is really lovely.

Again, this transit can be supportive in connecting with others. And because there's so much sticky ickiness around interpersonal stuff this week, I really like seeing this transit. I see that the positive potential of this transit is worth trying to exhume. The problem is it takes a little bit more intentionality to show up and listen and be adaptable. And it's a little bit more easy to just lean into what you know and what you believe. So be on the lookout for that.

And, my loves, that's almost it. But I want to tell you there's going to be a transit⁠—it's a Mercury opposition to Pluto, and it will be exact on the 18th. So we're going to talk about it next week, but you're going to be feeling it at the end of this week. This, unfortunately, is part of why I'm a little concerned about the negative potential of the Sun/Mercury conjunction. Mercury opposite Pluto can spark really obsessive, negative thinking. And again, there's already enough anxiety and enough stuff going on in the world and astrologically. So it's something to be on the lookout for.

Remember, where your mind and attention go your energy flows. Negative obsessions are like prayer for what you don't want. If you find yourself, especially later in this week, starting to obsess on things that make you miserable and aren't particularly helpful, try to notice that and see if you can redirect yourself. And when you're in a state of heightened negativity, it's not usually realistic to shift your attention and your energy towards something very positive. Instead, you want to go to something neutral, so from very negative to neutral and neutral to positive⁠—maybe from positive to ecstatic if you're that kind of weirdo. I'm into it. Let's try. But if you're in a negative frame of mind, try to angle towards thoughts and even mental fixations that are neutral, not positive, not negative, because that's an achievable goal.

I'm going to run through the transits one more time. But as always, if you love following along and tracking the transits, I invite you to subscribe to Astrology For Days, my transit-tracking tool that not only tells you exactly when all the transits are happening but has a notetaking function so you can keep track of⁠—whether it's my predictions, your predictions, your thoughts, your insights. You can have them all in one spot. And if you're into that, the link is on my website, also at astrologyfordays.com.

Okay. Here we go. On the 10th, we have an exact sextile between the Sun and Uranus. On the 12th, we have an exact square between Mercury and Chiron and a Venus trine to Saturn. On the 13th, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, and that Full Moon is exact at 11:38 a.m. And on that same day, Mercury is exactly sextile to Uranus, and Venus is exactly square to Neptune. On the 16th, Mercury and the Sun meet in Cancer. It's an exact conjunction. And at the end of this week, we're starting to feel the Mercury opposition to Pluto, which will be exact until next week on July 18th. So more soon.

As always, I want to thank you for joining me here for Ghost of a Podcast. If you haven't already hit that Subscribe button wherever you listen to the show, please do. It does really help. As always, the conversations continue over on Patreon, where I drop lots of content all the damn time. And to sign off, I'm going to share a quote from Viktor Frankl: "Everything can be taken from a person but one thing, the last of human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

All right. I'll talk to you next week, my loves. Bye-bye.