Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Jessica: Hey, Sara. Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. Tell me what you'd like a reading about today.

Sara: Hi, Jessica. Longtime listener, first-time caller. I've always wanted to say that. My question is, is my tendency to loneliness reflected in my chart? And I always say I wouldn't ask my astrologer to analyze my mental health, and I wouldn't ask my psychologist to analyze my birth chart. But I believe that all these things are integrated. So I've talked to my shrinks about this, but I realized I've never looked at it from an astrological perspective, ever.

Jessica: I like that strategy. Let's get into it because I have so much to say about it. But before I do, I want to ask you, when you say loneliness⁠—I'm not asking you for like a Webster Dictionary definition, but in your experience, what are you talking about? Because I actually see indications of the potential for the loneliness in a couple spots, and I'm wondering which one you're identifying.

Sara: Well, throughout my life⁠—I mean, I'm someone who's dealt with depression my whole life. And I'm a sober alcoholic. And so, for people who fit those definitions or who use those terms to describe themselves, I think a lot of us experience isolation as, say, an unhealthy coping mechanism. But I don't mean that specifically. Throughout my life, whether I've had lots of friends in the town I lived in or hardly any friends, whether I knew a ton of people, whether I loved my job, didn't like my job, was unemployed⁠—all these different circumstances⁠—dating somebody, not⁠—there came up these times where consistently⁠—not perpetually, but consistently, there were points where I just felt this deep⁠—not disassociation, but just kind of detachment, loneliness. I've heard other artists talk about it, a strange disconnect. And it doesn't make sense to me because I genuinely enjoy people and find them fascinating. I mean, some of them suck, but⁠—

Jessica: Lots of them. Sure. But yes.

Sara: ⁠—a lot of them are great. And I know I have so much in common with so many people. And there's this loneliness and sadness that comes up, and it's been so profound since I was a child. And I've never looked at it from a spiritual perspective.

Jessica: Well, I have so many answers for you. And before we begin, I just want to say for the astrology nerds you were born October 25th, 1980, 4:08 a.m. in the great state of New Jersey.

Sara: Yes.

Jessica: Okay.

Sara: Sensual state.

Jessica: It is a sensual state. So let me start off⁠—because the way you framed your question was really interesting and cool. You're like, "I don't ask my therapist for astrology information/my astrologer for psychological information." Part of why I asked you that question to define or explain your experience of loneliness is because all of us, regardless of the language we speak, regardless of whether or not we are aware of it, are constantly articulating our birth charts. And when you use language to describe your lived experience, you're essentially describing your birth chart because the birth chart is the one that describes your lived experience. So, when you were describing it, you used words like "disassociation." You used this strange, kind of⁠—I think you said on a lifeboat, like a raft. Did you say something to that effect?

Sara: Yeah, or like an island. But the boat image is really powerful, just bobbing out in the middle of this endless gray sea when, just the previous day, I was on a beach surrounded by people, happy. Where is this fucking gray boat shit coming from?

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. These are all keywords from Neptune. So they come from Neptune. I already knew that from your birth chart, but I want to give you that peek behind the curtain that what you're describing is literally textbook Neptune. And Neptune in astrology is associated with a lot of things. In your birth chart, it's the planet at the bottom of your chart, which means it's conjunct your IC. The IC is the fourth-house cusp, which is⁠—it is like the lowest point, the anchor to the birth chart. And it's opposite your Midheaven.

It's giving you this lived experience of a lot of things, but an important piece is this experience of, from childhood⁠—I imagine this is from since you can remember⁠—having these feelings of, "Where do I belong? What is life?" and all the things that kind of spring from that. Having this placement⁠—or basically Neptune on any angle can do this. So an angle would be the bottom of the chart, the Descendant, the Midheaven, or the Ascendant. Having Neptune in these places, what it tends to do is make us feel a little out of step with the reality we're in, the body we're in, the time we're in, whatever.

And it can often provoke a lot of disassociation or anxiety, and the way we respond to that depends on the rest of the chart. And the thing that's kind of interesting about your chart is you've got a Venus conjunction to the Ascendant and Jupiter. People like you. You like people. You're social. You're good at socializing. You actually enjoy socializing. Sure, you've got that Venus/Jupiter Ascendant in Virgo. But you just like being witty and smart, and you like being around people who you find interesting. It's a very social placement.

And you have Mercury conjunct to Uranus. Now, Mercury conjunct to Uranus is⁠—it's a really exciting placement in a birth chart, and it inclines you to be sometimes obsessed with ideas or with people or with going to places or eating certain kinds of pizza, and then sometimes obsessed with the complete opposite. You can be very interested in your own company, very happy to be alone with yourself. You can be very interested in other people and socializing and connecting. So you have these points in your chart that are just very social, maybe not exactly extroverted, but very social. Does this make sense, what I'm saying so far?

Sara: It does. I was just out to eat last night with two friends, one who I know relatively well, and then like four people I'd never met before. And I had the best fucking time. And I was like, "This is so great. I love this." And yet, earlier this week, I was feeling so lonely and sad. And my meds are stable. My health is⁠—knock on wood⁠—pretty good right now. My therapists help me, my sober community, my psychiatrist. And I was talking to some friends and to all of the afore-mentioned members of my self-care group. Many of them were like, "It sounds like you've got some spiritual searching to do."

Jessica: There's a lot of why this is happening now and is particularly a spiritual crisis now. And we'll talk about that in a moment. So, actually, first let me ask you this question if you're comfortable sharing. What are you medicated for?

Sara: For depression with a history of suicidal ideation or panic attacks and history of agoraphobia. So the phobia is fear, and agora comes from the Greek word for marketplace. So it means, technically, fear of the marketplace. But it's a fear of being outside the home. It's a fear of travel. It was the topic of my first book, Agorafabulous, which I wrote a million years ago. So all those different things, and I'm right now on the lowest dose of meds I've been on since I started.

Jessica: It's interesting. So Neptune conjoins your fourth-house cusp. The fourth house in astrology is related to literally your home, and Neptune is panic and anxiety. So it's a perfect match for agoraphobia, and it is also a perfect match for needing a home or your home space that is like a sanctuary away from the world, like your place were maybe you want people to come, but it's really not about socializing in the home. It's about having a space that is controlled and contained for you.

Technically, Saturn is related to depression. And Saturn in your birth chart is in the first house. It's conjoined to Jupiter. And something that's really important about this placement is pacing. What is really hard with this conjunction is figuring out, "How much fun, spontaneous stuff do I give myself, and how much routine and rules and I-gotta-get-shit-done do I need to give myself?" There's this really intense⁠—whether it's behavioral or spiritual or psychological⁠—tension around how much is enough and how much is not enough. What's too much; what's too little?

That proportional conversation⁠—it internally is very difficult. And part of what I'm assuming, if things are doing relatively well with the depression stuff for you, is that you've developed enough self-knowledge and also just kind of gotten old enough to figure out, "Oh, these are the things I actually need to do. Those are the things I would like to do but I do not need to do." You've probably gotten better at prioritizing your time and energy. Does that make sense in your lived experience?

Sara: It totally does. When I was younger⁠—I'm 41, for those of us who also, like me, are not good at math, who are like, "1980? What? Huh?" So I'll be 42 in October. But when I was younger, Jessica, I really thought that⁠—and part of this was family-of-origin stuff. I really thought that my worth was entirely dependent on how much I produced, whether it's grades or trophies or⁠—I mean, you know, I was drinking a lot and published four books in five years or something.

Jessica: Whoa.

Sara: It was like stand-up comedy, books, trying to do TV stuff, podcasts, ba-pa-pa-pa-pa. And then, when I realized I needed to quit drinking, which was in 2018, a lot of things, projects I had going on, I just had to stop and go by the wayside. So I sort of lived out what you're describing, that dichotomy, in a day-to-day but then also in the course of years of my life. And now, in 2022, I'm like, "Okay. So how do we integrate the activity and the sharing of art with the world and hopefully making money off it sometimes with the quiet and the calm I'm living in?" My favorite tarot card when I was little was the hermit because it was like, "Oh, that sounds awesome." But also, I really dig people.

Jessica: I mean, here's a fun fact about that tarot card, which I think really reinforces everything we're talking about so far⁠—is that it's not about literally being alone. It's about knowing yourself. It's having a self to return to and being willing and able to be alone with yourself. I think that the hermit is such a misleading title because we know a hermit is constantly alone, but that's actually not what the card is about. It's about something much more, again, spiritual. And I want to just really validate that your inner child should be very proud of your 40-year-old self because you definitely have figured out how to be in this state of knowing yourself, that hermit state, which⁠—honestly, the Jupiter/Saturn conjunction⁠—just because you do a lot of therapy and you figure your shit out and you get sober and all the things, it doesn't go away. It just shifts how you relate to it.

And in this context, this particular part of your birth chart describes this feeling of there's never enough, like there's never enough joy, there's never enough arts, there's never enough⁠—there's this feeling that there's never enough. And this is not a materialistic thing I'm referring to, so it's not like Keeping Up With the Joneses shit. What it is is a spiritual crisis of this part of you that is aware of how much you're capable of, aware of what's possible in the world, aware of "If I stay home, maybe I could have this happen. If I go out, maybe all those things can happen"⁠—there's just so much that Jupiter can perceive in its viewfinder. Saturn's like, "Stop. No. Here's what you should do." It's like the ruler of shoulds.

And this is a spiritual tension that can be relieved by having a sense of what your priorities are. Because you have a Venus conjunction to the Ascendant in Earthy Virgo, you know what your values are. I mean, you're a Scorpio with the Sun in the second house, so you know what your values are and you don't always fucking care. But you know what your values are. And because you have this Mercury/Uranus conjunction, what you have the capacity towards is to have a change in priorities several times throughout the damn day. Lucky you.

Sara: Yeah. That's very, very, very, very true. And it goes beyond⁠—it can't be diagnosed. It can't be created as a line item in the budget. That's not ADHD. It's not in the DSM. I get to a place where I'm like, "Fuck it, dude. I gotta go into the world of spirit because something else is going on here."

Jessica: And that's real. And I think, from my perspective, the kind of Venn diagram of the material, the psychological and spiritual, I mean, they're just overlap⁠—it's just a circle. It's just a circle.

Sara: For sure.

Jessica: You know what I mean?

Sara: Yeah.

Jessica: And it's just our culture that has us pulling these pieces apart so that we think of our spiritual as separate from our psychological as separate from our physical, when in fact those separations create more pain and loneliness within the self. But I'll come back to this advice piece I'm trying to give you, which is priorities, because you could create a practice where every day, you're like⁠, "One to three priorities. I've got one to three priorities." Can be only one thing. Can be three things. Not four, not seven. One to three. That could really work for you.

However, because of that Mercury/Uranus conjunction and the Neptune conjunct the IC, you're not going to do that consistently. You'll do it sometimes, but not consistently, because this is not super realistic. It looks like you get bored of things if you do them too consistently. Is that your experience?

Sara: Yes, actually, to an extent. I need my foundational practices. Yeah. I have a hard⁠—I'm like, "Okay. Two or three things I consistently do. The rest, let's just see." And I have friends who are really⁠—they're like, "Well, it's my Tuesday, and on my Tuesday, I do X, Y, Z." And I'm like, "Whoa. You're magical. Wow."

Jessica: I mean, they just don't have a lot of Uranus in them. The thing for you is, yeah, there are certain things, of course, you're going to do like brush your damn teeth. The consistency doesn't always work because of the way your mind works and because of the way your moods work. We haven't talked about your moods yet, but we'll get there. The other thing I would recommend is when you start to feel that depressive or lonely energy, emotions, whatever it is⁠—because sometimes, I'm guessing, it feels more like energy, and sometimes it feels more like emotions⁠—start to encroach, that's where I would recommend being like, "Okay. Before I start to feel too activated, what are my one to three priorities in this moment?"

And when you're making that consideration, if you can, pick one that is emotional, one that is material, and one that's psychological. And the material might be, "I have a job. My priority is to not get fired today or to not drop the ball on my coworker," or something. That's a material priority. A psychological priority might be, "Hold on until tonight when I can fall apart if that's what I need to do." They don't have to be super woo and fancy, but it's about setting these intentions so that you have⁠—two things can emerge. One is⁠—it's like a tether. Neptune has a way of floating away and making you feel, again, like that boat lost at sea.

So it's about having, "This is my goal. I made a call, and I'm going to focus on getting through until 5:00 p.m.," or whatever the thing is. The other thing is it can help that Saturn/Jupiter in your chart to feel like, "Okay. These are achievable goals, and I can actually achieve these goals. And it doesn't matter if they're the goals for 8:00 p.m. and later. It doesn't mean it's the goals for tomorrow. These are just my priorities for today." And it can really satiate that Jupiter/Saturn, "I'm not doing enough. I'm doing too much. What? Wait. What am I supposed to be doing?" that can be a bit of a⁠—it can be experienced as either depression or restlessness, or restless depression.

When I look at your birth chart and I focus on the issue of loneliness, the most important thing that looks to me like is the foundational step⁠—once we've already established you've got your shrink, you've got your meds, you've got all that kind of stuff⁠—is recognizing when you've left yourself, when you've abandoned yourself, when you've disassociated, because when you're gone, it's really hard to take care of yourself. So, if you're feeling lost at sea and then you're like, "Hold, please. I'm going to just go for a deep-sea dive," well, now you're really alone because you've left yourself spiritually, psychologically, and now you're just bereft-feeling. Does this make sense, what I'm saying?

Sara: Yeah. I was picturing that boat floating out in sort of a gray, empty sea and me just doing what in real life is sort of my go-to move, which is, "I guess I'll just sleep." But a lot of times, it's just avoidance because I don't have booze or drugs to do that anymore, and I'm not⁠—you know, I could go out and [stup 00:19:11] a rando, but COVID, you know?

Jessica: Yeah. Yes.

Sara: So I'll just take a nap, a sad nap.

Jessica: So Neptune governs sleeping, doing drugs⁠—especially opiates⁠—playing video games, scrolling endlessly to disassociate⁠—any and all of those things. Sleeping is a really common one. And a replacement behavior that you can experiment with is turning off all your devices, putting your phone on airplane or do not disturb, setting an alarm⁠—give it five minutes. If you can give it 15 minutes, great. Whatever you can afford. And just stare at a blank wall. Don't do nothing. Don't fix nothing. If you want to close your eyes, fine. But there's something about staying here and also not doing anything, not fixing anything⁠, that is actually what Neptune wants.

Neptune in astrology is the fog. So, of course, your water landscape is gray because in a gray water landscape, there's fog, usually. That's Neptune for you. It doesn't have a form that you can manipulate. It just envelopes and overwhelms, and that's the experience of Neptunian discontent or anxiety.

Sara: It feels so familiar to me, too. I lived in Los Angeles for years, and I love it. And one of my favorite things is in the morning in Malibu before the marine layer burns off and it's foggy and misty. And even here⁠—I live in New York now⁠—I feel so comforted by the rain and the fog, and just the familiarity of being enveloped and held by that is comforting until it's not, until you crash into something.

Jessica: You've just metaphorically described napping is a restorative practice that, done too much, then you crash into consequences. You crash into reality. And so I think it's about being like, "Okay. So my body needs me to stop. I need to stop. I need to recharge. And I know that napping does not consistently or even regularly make me feel better. So what's a version of that that's more"⁠—again, we're talking about proportion and pacing⁠—"that's more sustainable?" And that's where I'm like, okay, just stare at a wall. My advice here⁠—I want to just acknowledge it's not going to fix anything. That's the thing with spiritual work, is it's about the practice and the process that eventually shifts things because you're dealing with more of the core issue.

And for you, so much of this core issue⁠—it's not just about being here. That's part of it for sure. And it's not just about being here in a meat suit. It's part of that, too, but it's about accepting the limitations of being here. There are so many limitations. I think there are limitations of the human condition, of having a body, of being separate from people, being connected to people⁠—all of it. And your Neptune is in Sagittarius, which, just as a total aside, makes, in my view, Pluto in Libra and Neptune in Sadge⁠—you're Gen X. I know you're on, probably, the cusp, but that's a Gen X placement, just as a fun fact. I don't know if people call you millennial. I don't know if you call you a millennial. I call you a Gen X.

Sara: I say I'm a baby Gen X or ancient millennial.

Jessica: I think that's accurate.

Sara: Millennial crone or Gen X maiden.

Jessica: I will take that. I think you're a Gen X maiden because those two planets⁠—I'm going to have to call you a Gen X. 

Sara: I think sometimes I have a younger affect and vibe sometimes just because I probably say "like" a lot and am too online. But in reality, my references are very much early season real world.

Jessica: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Well played, sir. Also, you have both Venus and Jupiter in the first house. That means you're going to come across as younger, and younger for longer. Saturn in the first house⁠—not always. But you've got that Venus/Jupiter. But just for the record, I vote maiden Xer. But I think, coming back to all this, this placement⁠—the Neptune in Sagittarius placement⁠— Neptune always gives a yearning, but Neptune in Sagittarius, it gives you this yearning because you want to be connected to others in a way that's really true, and yet Neptune doesn't always want truth; it wants smooth.

It can feel quite demoralizing because when you get something really deep and real with someone, it's not always smooth. And when you get something super smooth with people, it tends to be kind of surface. So, again, it's this dissatisfaction on a spiritual level with the compromises of this fucking reality. You can be healthy, but the more healthy you are, the more you're focusing on your health, which means you become obsessed with your health, which doesn't feel as easy as ignoring your health. It's that same kind of struggle.

Okay. I'm going to name a couple things at once here. The first, Saturn in the first house as related to depression, but not just depression⁠—it's related to taking responsibility for who you are⁠. This is a really complicated thing because there's a way that you're very comfortable taking responsibility for yourself. You're very comfortable⁠—you're the kid who idolized the hermit card, you damn weirdo. You're comfortable with your Saturn in many ways. But then Venus, Jupiter, Neptune, even the Uranus/Mercury⁠—you've got a Moon in Taurus⁠—all of these things incline you to want life to be kinder than it is.

And Saturn is like, "I knew it. Hammer. I fucking knew it. Anvil." And so, again, there's this contrast that exists inside of you. And that Saturnian, ambitious, relentless, realistic, responsible drive inside of you⁠—even though it's connected to other parts of your birth chart, it ultimately kind of struggles because it just feels out of step with so much of what you would prefer, which is for life to be beautiful, and when you socialize it's lovely, when you're alone it's lovely, and bada-bing, bada-boom. But that Saturn is like, "Yeah, but I need to deal with what's real." And this heaviness of what's real is really hard on some parts of your birth chart.

So, again, this is where I come back to, from a spiritual perspective⁠—I'm not personally invested in religion or woo or whatever. Doesn't matter your method. But whatever it is that you do⁠—I mean, as far as I'm concerned, it can be art that does this⁠—what you need is to remember that this reality that you're in, this reality that we all share, it is an opportunity for you to achieve something inside of yourself, not to achieve something outside of yourself, and that thing inside of yourself⁠—I think, for you, there are big-picture goals that you probably have that you want for the world, but I wonder if you have big-picture goals that you want just for your internal development.

Sara: Yeah. One of them is to make peace with and feel accepting of and compassionate towards both my parents. I do to an extent, and there's been growth in that area in the past few years that I think has largely come from sobriety and those practices. For me, it's a lot of accepting, working through, and choosing to put down resentments, particularly with regard to anger, which I didn't even start working with until recently.

Jessica: Good for you.

Sara: I try to exercise a few times a week for at least ten minutes, and mostly that's about anger shit.

Jessica: For whatever it's worth, you have Mars in Sagittarius. And spurts of energy are great for your body. So ten-minute workouts are great for you. I mean, that's not just⁠—

Sara: It's so good.

Jessica: It works great for you. You do not need to do long, drawn-out workouts. But there is the consistency piece that is really also good for you. So, if it's ten minutes three times a week, being somewhat consistent with that is ideal. But let me come back to what you just said because it was very important. There's something in what you said which is a goal for you, but a lot of what you said is a goal: "I want to have peace with my parents."

And what I would encourage you to do, because we're here to talk about the spiritual components of the loneliness, is explore which of that is⁠—if we can try to get to the roots of what that is, what of that is for you? Not having a good relationship is for you, but what is in malaise about not having a good relationship with your parents? What feels in your⁠—what you can control, being able to come down to a more distilled, simple root of that ambition for yourself will satiate that Saturn in your chart. It'll actually give you more peace when you achieve it because⁠—this is where we get into your Moon, because I didn't get into your Moon yet. But you've got a Moon in Taurus conjunction to Chiron in the eighth house, and it's opposite⁠—

Sara: My boyfriend, Chiron?

Jessica: Yes, your boyfriend. Yes. He's your boyfriend, and he never wants you to leave. And he's really invested, and he's staying. So you clearly get it.

Sara: We're codependent. It's great.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. It's a great relationship. No one wants to come over anymore, but it's a great relationship. So I agree with you. Your parents are perfectly fine with your relationship. They're fine with what doesn't work. They're fine with what does work, because they have completely different standards than you do, and they always have. This Moon/Chiron conjunction in the eighth, it indicates that a lot of the stuff that you struggle with does come from⁠—I won't just say it's your childhood, because it's not as simple as your childhood. It's from generational inheritances. It's issues that fall in the family line.

And you came out a person who's hypersensitive. And you're not great at pretending. I mean, you're actually really good at pretending, but not in family situations.

Sara: Yeah. Thank you.

Jessica: You're welcome. Yes. I see you. I see you. And so, at home as a child, you would express all the things that were being repressed, and that came at great consequence to you. And so you were⁠—

Sara: Yeah. They didn't love that.

Jessica: No. Not even about love or hate⁠—they could not tolerate it. You were not allowed to see the elephant in the room, and if you saw the elephant in the room, either you were nuts or you were wrong or you were bad, or whatever value judgment was projected onto you was completely in reaction to their lack of ability or willingness to see the elephant in the room. But you were like, "But I wrote a story about the elephant." I feel like the term "gaslighting" gets overused. I don't think you were gaslit because it wasn't something they did to you consciously.

Sara: Oh, no. They weren't allowed to see the elephant in the room when they were growing up.

Jessica: Correct. Correct.

Sara: And later, through their own work⁠—God bless them both⁠—they were able to do it. And through my work, they have accepted me doing it.

Jessica: That's impressive.

Sara: And it makes me emotional to talk about because I love them both so much, and they had me when they were relatively young. And I'm still mad at them for not having gone to a bunch of therapy and had their shit together totally, as early 20-somethings in 1980.

Jessica: Which was not a thing. That didn't exist in⁠—I mean, it existed, but⁠—

Sara: No, and I'm still fucking mad at them. I'm mad at them about that.

Jessica: Well, for whatever it's worth, that Venus conjunction to the Ascendant with the Jupiter there, it tells me that you were very wanted. Whether or not you were planned doesn't matter. You were very wanted, very loved.

Sara: And I feel that. I'm so fortunate, and yet I'm still mad about some shit from 20 years ago that I didn't deal with. So now I'm dealing with it because I have a limited amount of time with these people who I love.

Jessica: Yeah. And also, I have this thing that I always say about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not letting the other person off the hook. It's taking the hook out of your own heart. It's not about not holding them responsible. It's about not swallowing poison and keeping it in your mouth. And it's not that simple, obviously.

The issues in your birth chart, that are clearly articulated in your birth chart, describe that yes, you were loved. Yes, they did their absolute best. Yes, they genuinely like you. They've always liked you. And also, it looks like you did experience being very mistreated. You did experience a great deal of pain and suffering. And you were told there was no elephant when you were literally shoveling elephant poop all the time. It was really destructive. And we can laugh about it because you're 40, but it wasn't funny until we were old enough for it to get a little funny.

Sara: I spent a lot of time sleeping it away, drinking it away, working it away. And now it's like, "All right. It might feel belated, sort of constipated, but now we're dealing with it." I'm dealing with it, and that's empowering.

Jessica: It's really empowering, and it's also a slog. I think part of your journey is giving yourself permission to have the emotions at all. And this is part of why I want to point you away from napping as much as you do, because it's partially a way for you to kind of⁠—like a very harm reductionist, very great, nice version of what happened to you as a kid. Your emotions are too intense? Go away. No, go away. And so figuring out ways⁠⁠—and this is why I was like, "Try five minutes," because it will be difficult. Even though you're not technically doing anything, you're doing the hardest thing, which is no agenda, no fix, no distractions; be in your feelings. That's the hardest thing. And it looks like nothing to everyone else.

The thing about this loneliness in your chart, in your experience, is that I imagine that you can do all the best work in the world, and some of it won't go away because it's part of your nature. That said, what can change is how you feel in relationship to it. So, much like you described your parents, through time and therapy and getting sober, yada yada, you can joke about the fact that it's their elephant and you've been shoveling the shit. Okay. Now you can talk about it. You can also shift your relationship to that feeling so that it is less oppressive and a little bit more of, "Okay. This is my sanctuary, and inside my sanctuary, some parts I do not enjoy going. They do not feel safe or happy. And some parts don't feel happy, but I know they're safe."

Being able to know the difference essentially is about being able to navigate your emotions, which⁠—this is why I saved talking about your Moon for the last astrological thing I brought in⁠—because safely navigating your emotions is what you were actively discouraged from doing in your childhood, actively discouraged. So, every time you do it, even if you're doing it really well and you're doing it really fluidly, there is a part of you that's like, "Should I be doing this? Is this right? Am I doing it wrong?" It's like this undermining agent. That's how Chiron functions in this conjunction.

Sara: It's how I feel when I go to the dentist or the gynecologist or the general⁠—I avoid doing those things out of anxiety. But if I trust them, I have to⁠—and I know it's good for me⁠—I have to say to myself, "Okay. You can trust them. There may be pain, but you trust that it will pass, and you trust that this is better for you in the long term." There's a version of that that has to happen for me emotionally and spiritually.

Jessica: Yes. Yes. And it's interesting because what you're describing, this way of navigating these scary experiences where you have to trust people who are taking care of you, that's the hermit card. It's like referring back to yourself, being like, "I've made the call to take care of myself. I've made the decision to trust this person to help me take care of myself." So it's actually⁠—again, it's a really healthy embodiment of that Saturn in the first house, a.k.a. hermit card. Again, not a lot of children are like, "I want to be the hermit card." So I think it's funny.

Sara: I know. Isn't that wild? And I never paid attention to the torch until recently, the light that⁠—you know.

Jessica: Kind of the biggest part of the card, too. Right?

Sara: Never paid attention to it. I just looked, "Oh, that guy?" And I only saw the Rider-Waite-Smith deck at that time. Now I have other cards, so many decks. But I was like, "That dude seems kind of magic and gets to just have so much alone time and space." Really, I was like, "That person gets to live a quiet life with boundaries and nature. How beautiful."

Jessica: Honestly.

Sara: And now I'm like, "Oh, this person⁠—so just because somebody is a so-called hermit doesn't mean that they don't engage with the world or have relationships."

Jessica: Yep. That's it. And all that Virgo stuff, even though it's a very social part of your birth chart, it's introverted. The Mercury/Uranus conjunction, it's very social but introverted. It's the hermit card. You do need alone time to recharge. You do need to make sure that you're not abandoning yourself in order to be social with other people. And interestingly, you've got this North Node in Leo in the eleventh house. So finding ways of being in community creatively, whether it's as an artist or just creatively in general, is a huge part of what you're here to do.

So many artists⁠—and I know you know this because I feel like you wrote a book about it⁠—struggle with, "How much time alone do I need? How do I take care of my practice? What do I need to do in order to be an artist?" I mean, your chart is the chart of an artist. I think for a lot of people, that does come along with suffering because you're tapping into the collective. And how do you do that and not experience suffering? I would love to know if anyone has an answer, but I don't feel like we do because there's suffering in the fucking collective.

So this North Node placement⁠—again, it's in the eleventh house in Leo⁠—is the opposite of lonely because you've come here to be connected to community, to others, in a way that is creative and life-affirming. But it has to happen in a way that is self-appropriate. So that might mean seeing people once a week some weeks and being perfectly sated by that. It doesn't have to be in person and hanging out all the time.

There are so many different ways that this can play out for you and be authentic and healthy. But you do need to be the hermit with the lamp. You do need to be the one making those calls. And when you can't make those calls because of circumstances or whatever, being aware that there is a trigger there around, "Am I essentially being gaslit?" Again, I wish I had a better term for it because I don't think that's exactly what it is. But does that make sense why I'm using the term?

Sara: Yeah, like am I essentially being misled, if inadvertently? I was fortunate that I didn't grow up with people who maliciously⁠—and I know some people who did. I didn't grow up in some sort of bizarre, demonic, flowers-in-the-attic grandmother situation, being deliberately misled and poisoned by⁠ [crosstalk]—

Jessica: Yes.

Sara: ⁠—I believe was a plot point. Anything that happened was out of just a genuine ignorance or lack of awareness or unknowing. But it was still a misleading. But yeah. I know what you mean.

Jessica: I mean, so you're very sensitive, and so you absorbed a lot of their pain, just⁠—

Sara: Yeah. And there's gifts in it, too, like the⁠—maybe my North Node in Leo is why I've got more into acting in my 40s, as a woman does.

Jessica: That's very common. Yes. So many⁠—

Sara: As a woman, it's an industry that's so kind to women over 25.

Jessica: Yes. Yes.

Sara: But when I have a day on set here or there, I really enjoy it. That's like my favorite thing, or here and there when I have gotten to be in a writer's room and work on a TV show writing, that's so fun. And when people ask what I enjoyed about it, I'll say, "Oh, getting to talk to people and listen to people is so fun," which sounds wildly basic to talk about a day on Special Victims Unit. Like, oh, I got to hang out, went and talked to the [craft 00:41:06] services dude, who's so cool. And he was from"⁠—people are like, "What?" But there's a joy that I take in that.

Jessica: I see that. It's so real. And we're talking about spirituality now. There doesn't have to be a reason. That's your experience. And from my astrological perspective, because spiritually that's real for you, the weird magic that happens in summer camp for adults, whether it's on set or in a writers' room or whatever, that's your fucking happy place.

Sara: So fun.

Jessica: It's so fun for you.  And it doesn't take away the weird body of water and grayness and all that. It's just that you don't tend to feel those feelings when you're in these happy places, which is a great recipe for, honestly, drinking too much or becoming an addict because it creates the solution of always being at the craft table vibes. But we're not supposed to be at the party all the time. And if you stay at the party all the time, it's not going to feel like a party anymore. That's why you can⁠—

Sara: And I tried to do that for years.

Jessica: Sure.

Sara: And it was very unhealthy in my stand-up comedy life. Finding that balance, that's very much where I'm at.

Jessica: And it's a practice. It'll shift as you age and your circumstances change, which brings me to the now, because here we are, middle of 2022. For the last two years, you have been going through some really intense Neptune transits, and you will continue to be in really intense Neptune transits for the next couple years. So Neptune has been squaring your Midheaven and your Neptune for the last couple of years and at the start of 2022. And I just want to give a couple words to that because the last two years of your life, which happen to have coincided with COVID and a lot of lockdown time⁠—

Sara: Very convenient for me personally.

Jessica: It has been. It has been. I mean, honestly. No, but⁠—I don't know if you were joking, but I was about to say that to you.

Sara: I sort of very bleakly was being serious. I'm not grateful for or happy about the things that happened in the wide world and the pain that's happened or the friends that I've lost in this time⁠—I mean actually who have left the planet⁠—but if you're somebody who has acted out and avoided doing some internal work, wow, nothing's going to stop you like a global pandemic.

Jessica: Yeah. Yes.

Sara: You're going to have to deal with yourself and your shit.

Jessica: Yep. This transit or all these two transits have been trying to get you to pull back from the material world and reflect on your values and what you want to do with your life, also your relationship to home and meaning and purpose in a spiritual and psychological and emotional way. So you've been there. And also/but, late 2021, Neptune started to oppose your Ascendant, and it started in 2022 opposing your natal Venus. And these two transits bring up⁠—and this is so fun. They bring up this existential spiritual loneliness, yearning, and longing, this desire for love, intimacy, and connection, whilst at the same time making you feel like hiding away from the world⁠—

Sara: Yep.

Jessica: I'm so sorry. And it tends to kind of fuck your compass a bit so that your picker gets weird. And the reason why your picker gets weird is because this is the period of your life⁠—and it's a two-year-long period, so it's like two-and-a-half-year-long total for this, for these two transits. They're here to teach you about boundaries, not placing yourself or others on a pedestal, not rushing into things because you want to feel a kind of way, or rushing out for the same reason. It's about having healthy boundaries. And so the reality is that for you, having healthy boundaries at this time has a lot to do with your spiritual, psychological, and emotional health. It's being able to recognize who you are, accept who you are, and where you're at and to then try to figure out the best way to engage in a situation.

These are not great transits for dating. I'm not going to lie.

Sara: I have had the least interest in dating, and my libido has just been like, "I'm cool. I'm taking a break." I really was busy for a long time.

Jessica: There's a lot of ways that Neptune can function, but Neptune tends to be idealistic, not embodied, and when we go through Neptune transits, often sexuality tanks. Sex drive will often tank, and the reason why is because that's not what we're meant to be focused on. It's not really about that right now. And so, if you have any kind of history with hooking up with people or fixating on people because it's like another addiction, because it's another thing to⁠—right⁠?—then these transits are going to come through and just be like, "Ha. No. Now you're alone with yourself. Now you're alone with your brain. Now you're alone with your heart."

And that's the point. It's so that you can spiritually evolve in such a way that you get to know yourself and what you actually care about because when it comes to chemistry and sex, it's not very⁠ confusing—I mean, it's very confusing for lots of people. It is not exactly confusing for you. Who you choose, what goes down, that's more confusing. What happens with other people in dynamic is more confusing because you have that Moon/Chiron conjunction here in your eighth house. And so it kind of creates this tendency to not always pick sexual partners that are people you can be really healthy and happy and safe with. Is that your experience?

Sara: Totally. It was often picking somebody who I felt emotionally comfortable with or picking somebody who I felt sexually comfortable with, but the two were not⁠—it was extremes. For me, I do want to eventually be in a committed sexual relationship with somebody that's romantic and loving, too. But it can't be half-assed.

Jessica: It's all or nothing. I mean, I think you're really good at flirting with people and being chill about the flirting. But when it comes to actually dating people, it doesn't have to be very real and deep. And I want to say that this is a two-year period, so it's not a short period.

Sara: A relief, honestly. A relief.

Jessica: And also, it's going to coincide with the pandemic. The pandemic is not going away. It's getting worse right now, but it's not going away. So, again, slightly convenient for you that if you're going to have to go through this period, at least it's an inconvenient period for dating. Very inconvenient. So not to be like, "Yay pandemic," but I will say this. This is meant as a reset, and the potential within this reset for you to come into greater self-acceptance and self-awareness and then more self-acceptance, and yourself as an individual but yourself as an individual in interaction or in exchange with others⁠—that's the gift of this transit. It's not meant to be a time for your sexuality. So I want to just validate you don't need to worry. Your sexuality will come back online in a different way because you're going to be different.

Sara: That's cool.

Jessica: Yeah. So the potential is going to be amazing. And if you do end up getting excited about somebody and hooking up, I will just tell you, have safer sex. Whoever you're hooking up with, whatever gender they are⁠—because you're pan, right?

Sara: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. So, whatever gender, safer sex because when we're going through Neptune transits, we can often not have safer sex, and that's why we tend to be inclined towards⁠—whether it's unplanned pregnancies or STIs or whatever. So you know what to do.

Sara: Unplanned pregnancy is the ultimate STI.

Jessica: I mean, I would say so. I feel like some people might slightly disagree, but it won't be me who disagrees.

Sara: True. That's true, and it's very⁠—and it's reductive to just think about sex as being procreative in nature, etc., etc.

Jessica: But…

Sara: Yeah. I mean, whether something is something that can be knocked out with the simplest of antibiotics or a chronic, long-term experience like parenthood⁠, you really gotta watch it.

Jessica: Oh. Oh my God. That is like the perfect metaphor, and it's going to stay with me forever. Woe be the [steady 00:50:05] one who doesn't want to hear that metaphor because I'm going to repeat it a lot.

Sara: But, that said, if I get knocked up during this time, I will name the baby Jessica regardless of gender.

Jessica: Thank you. I really appreciate that because⁠—

Sara: You're welcome.

Jessica: ⁠—I shall not have progeny, and I will never name my child Jessica Jr. or Jessica the first.

Sara: Jessica Jr.

Jessica: Like a huge dick. I wish more women would do that, just run around town naming their children by their first name juniors.

Sara: Yes. You know, I think Nancy Sinatra is a Nancy Sinatra Jr., actually.

Jessica: Really?

Sara: Yeah. I think so. If I have this fact wrong, it is [indiscernible 00:50:48]. But for the Italian New Jersey Americans⁠ [crosstalk]—

Jessica: I was just about to say⁠—

Sara: ⁠—it's from Hoboken.

Jessica: They're going to⁠—if you got this wrong, New Jersey is going to take your Jersey card from you.

Sara: My people will ascend me⁠—they'll float me off into the Raritan Bay in an actual boat, and I would accept it. But yeah. You know what? It's funny to⁠—I don't know how many people⁠—maybe some are⁠—feel relieved when they hear from you in a spiritual sense that it makes sense that dating has not been the priority. It feels like a relief because I always⁠—

Jessica: I'm so glad to hear that.

Sara: ⁠—felt like it was my purpose.

Jessica: To date?

Sara: Well, I felt like it was an obligation, like if I have a partner⁠—everyone I've ever been with is cool and hot. Shout-out to all 10,000 of you. But having a partner would make me lovable, acceptable, that my parents would be proud of me, that they wouldn't worry about me.

Jessica: Interesting. Well, let me say this. If I were queen of the world, which unfortunately I'm not⁠—actually, I'm thrilled.

Sara: It's coming. It's coming. [crosstalk]

Jessica: It's too much responsibility⁠—this is what I would have for you. Best friend first. Excellent sex partner second. The people that you get an instant boner for are not the people you tend to like as much. But for you, it's like you're a little bit of a grower, not a shower in the heart, if you know what I mean.

Sara: It's true.

Jessica: Whether or not you're attracted to them down the line. But number three is somebody that has a similar pace to you or is compatible with your pacing. And I just want to give a few more words to this one because it's really an important piece. It's about someone who can run with you when you're ready to run and not take it personally when you're like, "I'm not running. I'm in the fetal position alone. Don't call me. Don't text me. I'm not talking to you." Somebody who does not take that personally, who's down to play but is not constantly demanding or needing you to play all the time. You need somebody who's got a strong enough center in themselves that they can kind of not take personally that you do⁠—you're a changeable person. And sometimes, it's like your full day, and sometimes you're like, "It's night." That is just your nature, and it's not personal.

I would as an astrologer say it's also just you're changeable, and you need somebody who likes that about you and is compatible with that. And I would say those three things are top three. Number four, I would say, is they gotta be smart, but smart in a way that you think is smart, not necessarily book-learning smart, because you get attracted to minds, and you like a weirdo. So you just need somebody who's sufficiently weird.

Sara: I do. They have to dork out about something specific, and sometimes it's shit I know nothing about and you know so much about it, and I will think you're a wizard. This is very true of whatever the thing is. And I feel that way about friends, too, absolutely. I'm just so impressed by that.

Jessica: For you, there's no real difference between⁠—and again, this is why I was like, number one is they have to be your best friend. Not to shift the conversation to dating, exactly, but it is connected to the issue of loneliness. I think there's so much pressure on women to be partnered, and that conversation never goes away with strangers and family and friends and all that kind of stuff⁠—and with ourselves. And I think, for you, as long as you look for a best friend that you have good sex with, you're going to be fine. If you're looking for the perfect person, okay, that's going to run you into problems. But if you're looking for a best friend, that's something you are good at achieving.

In this period of your life, the next couple of years of your life are for figuring out who you are and kind of becoming more comfortable with self-acceptance in these particular ways. And I think it's going to shift you in such a way that⁠—hold on. Before I speak, let me just make sure I'm saying the right thing.

Sara: Jessica's⁠—right now, she's pulling out a Bible [indiscernible 00:55:11] everyone.

Jessica: This is so interesting. Bear with me. This is why I use tarot, because it shifted what I was going to tell you. But the cards redirect me to say⁠—because I was going to be like, "I see you getting into a relationship," but that's actually not right. I see you deciding whether or not you want a relationship, why, and what you want it to look like, and recalibrating after this transit or these transits. And it's like you're in the throes of this reset that is really uncomfortable, but it's a reset for you really figuring out what you want based on who you are, not what you want based on who you used to be or who you thought you would be by now or who you think you should be or whatever the fuck.

That's what's happening now, and it's really uncomfortable because⁠—I think you used the metaphor of feeling around in the dark. That's a lot of what it feels like, and there are no assurances. And that's the part that⁠—the cards keep on showing me that the "there are no assurances" part is sometimes kind of reassuring for you, and you know how to work with that, and sometimes it's just fucking awful. And it's not either/or. It's both. It's both. And figuring out how to be a really good friend to yourself around that⁠—that's why these transits are happening right now. And this will just take time, and how you engage with that conscientiously is going to change whatever comes next.

But what the cards are showing me is⁠—because I was going to give you some sort of a reassurance, but the cards are like, "No," because you haven't made the decisions yet. And that's really interesting because what it's telling me is you're meant to be present right now, not future. And part of being present is incorporating and embracing the past. So I don't think that means not past, but it's not future. It's present. And that kind of⁠— if you hold it from this angle, that's going to sound like a bad thing. If you hold it from this angle, it's going to sound like an amazing thing. It just depends on your perspective a little bit because it is⁠—

Sara: That's deeply reassuring. It's reassuring. You're saying, "Hey. This is where you're supposed to be."

Jessica: Yep. I'm glad it's reassuring because it is⁠—I think it's reassuring, but the cards show me that in some moods, this is not a reassuring idea to you, and in other moods, it is. So, when you're right with yourself and you're in your spiritual mindset, yes. And if you're having an anxiety day, not as much. And so it's like just remembering that so much of this has to do with⁠—and forgive me this Capricorn metaphor, but it's like if you imagine that life is constantly like climbing up hills and hanging out on hills and then climbing down hills and finding plateaus and whatever⁠—

Sara: Eating tin cans.

Jessica: And eating tin cans. Obviously, that was for sure part of the unspoken part of the metaphor was eating tin cans. But if that's what life is, then it really⁠—when you start to go into an anxious or that kind of a loneliness place that we've been talking about, some of this is about being like, "Well, where on the mountain am I? Where on the hill am I right now?" Try to locate yourself because I imagine if you do this over the course of several months, you're going to notice patterns of, "Oh, every time I'm on this side of the hill at this hour of the day, I tend to hit certain kinds of emotions or certain feelings that I don't really know how to cope with or I don't want to cope with."

That's great information because within that information may be, "Oh, maybe I need to snack more after 2:00 p.m.," or, "Maybe I'm not drinking enough water, and it starts to fuck with me later in the day." It could be something that simple, and it could be something more complex, like, "Every time I talk to this friend, it reminds me of something." And I think that⁠—

Sara: Or, "I haven't put away my laundry"⁠—I'm bringing up laundry again. Sometimes we have to admit to ourselves that these⁠—maybe we can get through a big crisis. Maybe we can be there for a friend who has gone through something terrible, or we can deal with something awful happening on our block where our neighbors need our help, and we can be cool as a cucumber. But as the pile of laundry that's [crosstalk].

Jessica: It's the pile of laundry. You didn't say that you have ADHD. I don't have ADHD. My TikTok feed thinks I have ADHD for sure. I saw this person post something about what they do for their ADD, and I was like, "Fucking genius." So I'm going to share with you because you mentioned laundry thrice, and only because you've mentioned the laundry thrice. So you remember⁠—I don't know if you⁠—in a retail job, but I used to have⁠—you'd get a weird bracelet thing that would have a key on it. It's usually coilies. So they had three or four of these bracelets, and they were all different colors.

And they would put them on in the morning. There was writing at the top of the hook thing where they kept all the bracelets, and one would be like, "Put away laundry." One would be, "Drink a glass of water." And one would be⁠—whatever else, like, "Eat your lunch." And they would wear them all, and then when each task was completed, they would hang it back on the hook and then not put them on again until the morning. And it was their way of reminding themselves about things that needed to be done. And for them, it worked. Now, I don't know that that exact⁠—

Sara: That's cool.

Jessica: It was really smart. There's two things. One of those is that Mercury/Uranus conjunction⁠—it's got little ADD vibes, ADHD vibes. That's classic.

Sara: Oh yes. And to be clear, I do have ADHD.

Jessica: You do? Okay. Yeah.

Sara: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taking something and put it on something else to indicate that a task has been completed, that is my love language. That speaks to me.

Jessica: I mean, it's the Mercury/Uranus conjunction. That's what I would call that. And it would work for you.

Sara: Yes. I love t.

Jessica: And the other part is Neptune in the fourth house, especially conjunct the IC, is not great at putting things away. And part of that is because being surrounded by things is both very stressful and distressing and also reassuring and kind of enveloping. It's both. It's like the fog we were talking about. It's the exact same thing. It's both lonely and sad and protective and romantic and beautiful. It's all the things. And so there is a part of that Neptune that⁠—if I'm going to be uncomfortable, I'd rather be uncomfortable with something that I know, my laundry. But the Mercury/Uranus is like, "No, I genuinely forgot. I genuinely didn't remember until I stepped on it." So the risk thing would work for Mercury/Uranus, and it won't completely work for Neptune.

But it's like our charts are just like all of the parts that need to collaborate. So it's an idea that could work. Generally speaking, though, Neptune requires color coding. So you would always have the physical action thing⁠—let's say it's folding laundry or eating food⁠—be in the red family, and then you would have work-related things or responsibility-related things in the blue family. You'd want to color code it so that it was at a glance easy for you to know what you're being reminded and you don't have to stop and think because your brain moves so fast, it's hard to do the stopping and the thinking about something you're not that interested in in the moment. So that's just fun facts.

So we do have to wrap up, but I want to just check. Have I addressed the core issue? Do you have any remaining questions around this theme of loneliness?

Sara: No. This has been incredibly helpful. Thank you so much because⁠—as per usual and why I love your show and the work that you do⁠—is that you integrate the intangible with the tangible and the woo with the practical, and it all works together. And I find that to be extraordinarily helpful. So this is great. Thank you so much.

Jessica: Thank you. I really, really appreciate it. And thank you so much for trusting me and joining me for this.

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Let's talk about the 3.5 percent principle. So there's this study that has shown that nonviolent protests are twice as likely to succeed as armed conflicts, and movements that engage 3.5 percent of the population have never failed to bring about change. Think about that. Movements that engage 3.5 percent of the population have never failed to bring about change. Now, I want to say this is like a paraphrased quote from a BBC article that I put in show notes that's really worth a read if you've been feeling disempowered and like you can't make a difference or that we're screwed⁠; there's nothing we can do. And of course, I'm talking about this because of the Pluto Return of the United States, the tumultuous and intense period that we're all in globally.

The bottom line is that civil resistance by regular people without a lot of power are actually really powerful and can achieve massive, radical change as long as 3.5 percent of the population or more is actively engaged in it. That's the key. And I find that really inspiring because this is an astrological period that demands radical change. We're looking at Uranus in Taurus, and what this transit means⁠—and we can look back to the last time Uranus was in Taurus, when we had World War II. What this transit means is that we need to innovate and create systems that better serve the people, that embrace women, and that actively express who and what we value.

And there are so many things that can come from this transit, but that's the positive. And I think that that can be an empowering thing to stay connected to. I saw this viral tweet, and I'm sure a lot of you have seen it as well. And it basically said that republicans are like the Uvalde shooter and that democrats are like the cops who sat around doing nothing. And that feels really true to me. I think that's why it went viral. It feels really true to me that in the U.S., we have a two-party system, and neither of them are doing a good job, not for the bulk of humans in this country. So, when it comes to something like getting involved or engaged in politics, it is really disempowering for most people who are not satisfied with the jobs being done by either side.

That said, I'm going to repeat something I told you in the year-ahead horoscope, which is that the chart for the midterm elections this November looks pretty awful, and it looks like there will be low voter turnout. Considering how things are going, that makes a lot of sense. I'm not going to tell you⁠—I will never tell anyone⁠—that voting is the end-all, be-all answer. And I, like many others, are really frustrated by the system. However, voting is a part of what we need to do if we want to try to protect this country, in my view. Listen. You feel differently? That's cool. We can be in disagreement. But I do want to say that it is the least we can do is voting. I don't think republicans would have put decades and so much money and effort and energy into gerrymandering and blocking the vote if it wasn't actually a powerful thing to vote.

So I want to suggest something other than voting, though. This is really interesting to me. Did you know that 70 percent of local elections are uncontested in the United States? Yeah. 70 percent of local elections, and local politics is where real change can happen. A great example of that is when you consider how blue cities in red states are legislatively protecting citizens against abortion bans through resolutions that are passed by local government. Anyways, there's a lot of impact that a person can make in local politics.

And so⁠—okay. 70 percent of local elections are uncontested. If you run, you could win. Or you could change the conversation by forcing the incumbent to stand up for something, to do something, maybe to make their platform more progressive. And it's really easy. If you're interested and you're just not sure, you can go to Snapchat, and even if you don't have a Snapchat account, just download it⁠—it's free⁠—and make a whatever account. And type in the words "run for office," and it'll lead you to a page. You put in your ZIP code, and then it shows you a bunch of different issues, and you just click on each of the little issues that you care about. It's so easy. It's ridiculously easy. And then it will show you every upcoming election in your area that has to do with those issues.

I mean, listen. Run for office, or if you have friends that you think would want to run for office or be great at it, tell them about this. At the very least, you may change a conversation. This is a new world, and part of the Pluto Return of the United States, part of the transit of Uranus through Taurus⁠—it's not just about these big, scary things that we're seeing in the news, that I've been talking about on the podcast. It's also about the potential for us as individuals, communities, society or societies, to create real change. That means, in part, different kinds of people stepping into the system and forcing the system to better reflect the will and needs of the people.

Anyways, let's get into your horoscope. This week, we are looking at the astrology for July 17th through the 23rd of 2022. And as always, if you are really interested in astrology, if you're a student of astrology, I do invite you to go and subscribe to my web-based app, Astrology For Days, where you can track the transits, see when they're coming, write notes, and use it as a self-guided learning tool.

Okay. We're going to start at the beginning, and that's on the 17th. On the 17th, we have three exact transits, and I am happy to say they're all lovely transits. Now, unfortunately, I mentioned to you at the end of last week's horoscope that we were feeling at the end of last week the Mercury opposition to Pluto. In fact, we started to feel it on the 15th of July. So there's going to be some shit overlapping with these transits I'm about to tell you about, but let's focus on these lovely transits for a moment. On the 17th, we have a Mercury trine to Neptune as well as a Sun trine to Neptune. And this makes sense because, of course, on the 16th of July, we had a Sun conjunction to Mercury. So both of these planets are forming a trine to Neptune right now, and that's a lot of watery goodness happening.

At the same time, we have Venus ingressing into Cancer. So, again, we're getting this really empathetic, emo, watery day here. We're going to be feeling the Mercury/Sun trine to Neptune both before and after the 17th, but it's exact on this date. And the Venus moving into Cancer happens on this date. Okay. So Venus in Cancer is a shift into kind of more tenderheartedness. This is a time to really let people know how you feel about them, to explore your relationship to your own emotions, to your attachments, and to the people that you find home in. This can also just be a great time to beautify your home and make it more comfortable. The real magic is figure out where the zodiac sign of Cancer falls in your birth chart, and know that Venus will be lighting up that area. And so that's where you're really going to get the most use of knowing about a planetary ingress.

Now, the Mercury/Sun trine to Neptune is what's really exciting to talk about. These two transits indicate that we have greater sensitivity both to our environment, to the world, to ourselves, to others, and that sensitivity is Neptunian, which means it is empathetic and it is inherently spiritual. This may put you or the people around you in a more caring and considerate mood, and it may increase your or somebody else's willingness or drive to show up for others in some way.

And I'll say sometimes, when you're really suffering or struggling with something, what most of us need is to just have somebody be like, "Hey. What do you need?" or, "Hey, I'm here for you. Do you want me to just listen, or you want advice? How can I be helpful?" Sometimes it's really that simple. Showing up for people doesn't have to mean doing something bonkers or taking on all of their problems as your own, but just listening to people, holding space for people, being like, "Hey. Maybe you're overwhelmed and you don't need advice, but I'll listen. What's going on?" can be so impactful.

And under these transits, the Sun and Mercury trine to Neptune, we're more organically willing and able to just really show up for people. Another thing that can happen from these transits is we lay off on ourselves, so we're kinder and more gentle with ourselves. This may play out as stepping into nature or doing something restorative and simple that creates more space inside of you, and from that place of having more spaciousness within you, you'll feel better. And from feeling better, so many things can bloom.

These transits tend to come along with idealism, hopefulness, empathy, kindness⁠—again, really lovely transits. Because Neptune is involved and strengthened by the fact that these are happening in water signs⁠—Mercury and the Sun are in Cancer, and Neptune is in Pisces⁠—this is essentially like a very spiritual time. You may just hear something that resonates with you and something clicks where you're like, "Oh. Yeah. I get it. I can let go of this thing, or, "I can move through this fear."

These transits are really lovely, and the more that we can do to activate them or activate from them, the better. And just like I said with Venus, if you can figure out where Cancer and Pisces fall in your chart⁠—and in particular, this transit is happening at 25 degrees of Cancer and Pisces respectively⁠—so if you can figure out where that falls in your birth chart, then you'll know what part of your nature or your life is getting activated by this transit, and you can do your best to make the most of it, to get the most out of it.

Neptune is kind of antithetical to the ego. And so, if all you're doing is trying to advance your individual welfare, like if you're trying to get something for you at the expense of others, you're likely to feel pretty exhausted. Neptune does not empower that. So do your best to connect to the positive potential or the service within your ambitions and goals. Do your best to check in with the altruistic parts of your nature and the potential for not just doing shit or getting shit, but uplifting yourself and others.

If you meet someone new or you reconnect with someone and the vibes are on point, then what I want to say is yay you, yay them, and also, make sure you don't put them on a pedestal. And before you write home about it, just wait at least 72 hours until after the transit passes to make a more realistic assessment of what's going on. That said, a relationship that gets sparked under this transit is likely to be kind of lovely. Now, I want to be clear. Mercury and the Sun and Neptune are not likely to bring you a sexual connection. It's more platonic, romantic, spiritual⁠—that kind of vibe. So doesn't mean you can't fall in love or like or lust, but that's not inherently what these planets are about and what these transits are about.

Now, I warned you we still have Mercury opposite Pluto to contend with. That transit is exact on the 18th, so we will be feeling it kind of strong on the 17th. Now, also, on the 19th, the Sun is opposite to Pluto. So, again, you want to keep in mind that Mercury and the Sun are so close to each other; that's why we're seeing these transits happening on the same day or very close. So let me tell you what these transits are about, and⁠—spoiler alert⁠—Pluto is involved in an opposition, so they have very little to no chill. No chill at all.

Pluto is a planet of transformation and healing and destruction. It's power struggles, resentments, pettiness, all manner of intense things. Pluto is related to the things in society and in ourselves that feel taboo, that are difficult to talk about because we have shame or because we have resentments. It's the difficult underbelly emotions and things in life that are governed by Pluto. And oppositions in astrology are kind of what you would imagine. It's like one thing opposite another or, in this case, two things opposite another. And oppositions create tension. That tension has within it a huge amount of potential for healing and integration, but it is, again, not particularly chill.

When we have oppositions, we often have projections. In other words, the energy gets played out where I'm being the Sun and you're being Pluto, or you're being the Sun and I'm being Pluto. One person will play the role of the energy of a particular planet in a dynamic, but we're engaged in a dynamic as a whole. So the risk with difficult oppositions like these is that we project our shit out or other people project their shit out, and that the struggles play out in relationship to others. And it can be your relationship to your job, which is not like a one-on-one dynamic. It can be your relationship to a person, and it can be a relationship to yourself or to a system. It can play out in a lot of different ways. It really just depends on how it hits your birth chart, your nature, your circumstances⁠—you get the picture.

So, back to Pluto, Pluto is intense. And when we engage with the energies of Pluto, most of us struggle, resist, and try to fight-or-flight our way out. So we either fight our way out, or we run away or shut down. This doesn't work. What works with Pluto is staying present, not getting attached, and being really honest because what Pluto wants is to get to the bottom of things. What Pluto wants from us is to be completely in alignment with what is real and true for us, even if it's ugly, even if it's scary. And so, because of this, Pluto transits tend to be difficult. And in particular, the Sun is related to our identity and our sense of self, and Mercury is our mind. It's our thoughts, our beliefs. It's also our relationships. It's the platonic side of relationships, so it kind of encompasses all of our relationships because it is a planet that governs how we communicate, how we feel heard or not, that kind of shit.

Mercury and Sun opposite Pluto can activate a crisis or stimulate a crisis. And the Mercury opposition to Pluto lasts longer than the Sun. All Sun transits last three days, so the day it's exact and the day before and the day after. And that is why I've been talking about the Mercury opposite to Pluto more than the Sun, although it's arguable that the Sun opposition to Pluto is kind of more intense. So, as we see the overlap of the Sun opposition to Pluto with Mercury opposite Pluto, we're going to get the most intense parts of this transit.

So Sun opposite Pluto can kick up struggles with the self, and this can play out as self-esteem issues or identity crises. This can come up through the power of your own mind or emotions, or it can come up through, again, someone else or something else sparking something inside of you that is difficult to be with or process. And that can, again, be a world event or somebody looking at you sideways when you're wearing a new outfit and you were feeling yourself, and then you go to a weird self-esteem spiral. It can happen on a million different levels. The key is that Pluto triggers our issues so that we can transform them. That's the opportunity, to transform your issues. But wouldn't it be cool if we can heal and transform our shit without actually having to feel and be present for our shit? That would be so cool. It's just not how it works.

So what you want to avoid on and around this date is being manipulative, engaging and acting from a place of jealousy, pettiness, or resentment. So it doesn't mean⁠—if you feel those feelings, you feel those feelings. That's just part of being a human. I don't want to encourage you to feel bad about having those feelings or to repress those feelings, but I am encouraging you to not act from those feelings, to recognize that sometimes we need to just be like, "Oh. Okay. I'm in my shit right now." And instead of engaging your shit, just try to breathe through it and not mobilize from it.

The work is not to punish yourself for having fucked-up emotions, because we all have fucked-up emotions⁠, and some of them are really valid; some of them are really not. Whatever. It's about recognizing, "Oh. This is not a place I want to act from. I'm not clear where these emotions are coming from, whether they're valid or not, what to do with them in a healthy way or not." And when you're activated is not the time you're going to figure that out.

It's about recognizing when you're activated, the thing to do is to deal with the activation, to not start obsessing on other people, what they do or don't have, cyberstalking⁠—you know what I mean, like checking out other people's social media or whatever, gossiping, talking shit about people, pulling weird behind-the-scenes bullshit, starting fights. None of this is well suited to when we're activated. It's when we're most likely to do those things, but it's not wise. It's not what we're meant to do under these transits. But unfortunately, it's what we're often likely to do. And if you don't do it, other people might do it because you're dealing with transits that are impacting the whole world.

So you may have to deal with other people who are acting wrong, and the way to do that⁠— I mean, there's not a simple prescription. I wish I could tell you. But just because someone's being a dick doesn't mean you, too, should be like, "Well, if they're a dick, I'm going to be a dick," because now you're a dick. So it's about doing what's right for you because it's right and not because life is fair. Life is not fair, and Pluto transits will often really remind us of that. So you may need to hold your ground and advocate for yourself or others. You may need to throw up your hands and be like, "All right. I'm out." There are so many different ways this can play out, but the key is to not act from a place of ego, to not engage in power struggles unless you've determined that that is the best course. Doing it out of a knee-jerk reaction is not ideal, and it's likely to give you the worst of Pluto's shit, unfortunately.

Now, in regards to the Mercury opposition to Pluto, we want to remember that so much of the Plutonian struggle or power struggle is about ideas, beliefs, convictions, what you said, how you said it, whether or not you were really listening to me, "Why did you look at me like that?"⁠—that kind of shit. The positive potential, again, is healing. It's getting to the bottom of shit. And so, if you are a researcher, if you are somebody who really gets a lot of value out of learning, this transit can be really catalyzing and really helpful. Again, you may come across, this week, ideas that speak to you and facilitate healing. So you want to be open-minded to the best of your ability.

Does Pluto make it hard to be open-minded? It can, because when you're kind of caught up in defensiveness or paranoia, which Mercury opposite to Pluto can spark, it can be hard to listen. It can be hard to learn. It can make you feel like you don't want to grow because you shouldn't have to⁠—again, that defensiveness. So do your best to keep an open mind and to know that having an open mind doesn't mean not having boundaries. Having an open mind doesn't mean believing everything you hear. It just means being open and critical in your thinking.

Now, I'll say one last thing about this on a personal level, which is Mercury opposite Pluto is a fucking terrible time for talking shit about people, unless you're cool with it getting back to them. So try to apply the golden rule, and treat others as you want to be treated. The other thing is you may be successful in manipulating someone, in manipulating a situation, but it'll come back at you because Pluto works like a damn boomerang. So you will reap what you sow in a Pluto transit, whether it's one happening in your birth chart or a transit like this that's happening to all of us. So beware. Beware. And this is not complicated. It's very difficult, but it's not complicated. So, if you find things seem really complicated, do your best to distill it into something more simple and that will be more effective and a little easier to bear.

Now, on a more social level, a Sun/Mercury opposition to Pluto can be really explosive. I'm definitely looking at the news on and around this date, and I'm looking at the news with a critical mind because the Mercury component can lead to propaganda, fear mongering, or the reverse of that, minimizing very real and scary things. So we want to be aware of that. People with power may say some pretty heavy shit, or it may be revealed that they've done really heavy shit. I don't know if you all are watching the January 6th hearings. It is not boring. It is very important, and it is shocking. I mean, is it shocking? It's not surprising, but yeah, it's really shocking stuff. But I expect we'll be seeing some bombshells around this transit, but again, we started feeling it on the 15th of July, so we're already seeing that.

Now, unfortunately, Pluto can bring about violence, and there are so many ways for violence to be experienced and expressed. But Pluto is really intense. It can also be a time where people come together and find solutions and start to dismantle systems effectively, and that is dramatic and it is intense, but it is not bad. There's a lot of positive potential. There's a lot of healing potential in these transits. But again, they have no chill. They don't come without drama. And this is where I come back to something I've said many times on the podcast and something I believe really deeply, which is not everything that feels bad is bad, just like not everything that feels good is good. And so this is where having the ability and the willingness to experience all of our emotions, not just the easy or the lovely ones, but all of our emotions, is essential to being healthy and also to sustaining these very dramatic and intense times that we're living through.

Now, on the 22nd, the Sun ingresses into Leo, so yes, that can be really fun. Sun in Leo is obviously a fun transit. Hey, Leos. We see you. We see you. But that's not the only thing that the transiting Sun in Leo is good for. It's good for bravery, for taking heart, for activating from a place of courageousness, heartfelt courageousness, loving courageousness. This is a really powerful fire sign. It's a fixed fire sign. So take heart. It's Leo season.

And that brings us to our last transit of the week. On the 23rd, we have an exact Mercury trine to Jupiter. It is at this point that we see Mercury and the Sun have separated from each other. So we won't see the Sun forming a trine to Jupiter for more than a week. So Mercury and the Sun are no longer hugging each other so tightly. Anyways, Mercury trine to Jupiter is a lovely transit. And this transit, in addition to the transits on the 17th, gives me a good feeling about many people being able to make the most of the Mercury/Sun opposition to Pluto. So that's kind of cool.

Mercury trine Pluto is a lovely transit. It is one where we can learn, where we can connect to others and learn or teach and have people willing to learn from us. This transit is excellent for synthesizing data, synthesizing details. So, whether that means, depending on your nature and your situation⁠—you're more of a big-picture thinker or more of a getting lost in the weeds kind of person⁠—this transit is really supportive for balancing it out. So, if you have been needing to survey something in your life or in your nature and start to kind of deal with the details of it or take all those details you've been collecting and put them to a bigger-picture plan, again, this transit is for you. It is a lovely transit.

Under this influence, we can meet people or socialize in a way that is really fun and kind of life-affirming. This is just a great time for connecting with people, taking in new information, sharing of yourself. It's a time where progress can be made, which is fucking lovely. So Mercury is in Leo. Jupiter is in Aries. And they're both at around nine degrees of their signs. So, if you have anything in your birth chart that will get directly impacted at around nine degrees by the zodiac signs of Leo and Aries, then you will get the most out of this transit.

This transit is excellent for, like I said, connecting with people, so whether that's personally, professionally⁠—again, lovely. It's technically a good time for travel. Wear a mask if you're traveling. If you're socializing, wear a damn mask. Take care of yourself and others. If you are dealing with any kind of contractual issue, legal issue, this transit's excellent, especially, again, if it hits your chart directly. This is a really good time for signing papers and coming to agreements in general because they tend to be favorable for both parties or all parties. So, if you've got something sitting in your inbox waiting to be signed, if you can wait till around the end of this week⁠—I know this is exact on a weekend, but if you can wait till when we're starting to feel this transit, that's ideal. That would be awesome. I mean, it's not always possible, but if you can, then do, I say. Then do.

Now, my loves, that's your damn horoscope. I hope you use it as a resource to support yourself and others and organize your time. Why not? Astrology is awesome. I don't know how people live without it. I'm such a fan.

As always, I want to invite you to join me over on Patron, where we're doing all kinds of shit. Can I tell you, this month alone⁠—and we're just at the middle of the month⁠—I have dropped content on lots of different energy work, exercises, and kind of explain how to do them⁠⁠—medical astrology, psychic versus⁠ clairs, Sabian symbols if you're into that, and of course a bonus episode of Ghost of a Podcast where I delineate the whole damn month in advance. So join me over on Patreon if you haven't already. It is always linked in the show notes of each and every episode. Also, if you haven't hit that Subscribe button yet to the podcast, I would super appreciate it. It does make a difference for podcasts and would mean so very much to me.

There is a lot happening, and because of that, so many people are overwhelmed. Some people are struggling. Some people are not. But it's a lot of energy going on in this here world that we all share. So be kind to yourself. Be patient, my dear loves. And as always, if you want to get a reading with me on the podcast, go ahead and email me your questions over on my website, ghostofapodcast.com. Bada-bing, bada-boom, if you know what I mean. I'll talk to you next week. Bye.