Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Hey there, Ghosties. In this episode, I'll be doing a live reading with one of my beloved listeners. Every Wednesday, listen in on an intimate conversation and get inspired as we explore perspectives on life, love, and the human condition. Along the way, we'll uncover valuable insights and practical lessons that you can apply to your own life. And don't forget to hit Subscribe or, at the very least, mark your calendars because every Sunday I'll be back with your weekly horoscope. And that you don't want to miss. Let's get started.

Jessica: Bubbles and Tea⁠—obviously not your real names⁠—what would you like a reading about, or what's going on in your relationship that you would like insight into or information about?

Bubbles: Sure. I will start by reading the question that I asked. So my partner and I have been together on and off for almost two years. We have been in couples therapy for about six months, and it has helped us significantly in healing collectively and individually. We are both Trans, and we are both in one way or another disconnected from our individual bodies, and it creates conflicts at times with understanding our own boundaries for ourselves individually and as a couple. How can we fortify our birth charts to assist in building tools to connect with our bodies?

Jessica: Okay. And, Bubbles, that was you, just for people listening. And really quickly, I'm going to say, Bubbles, your birth information is August 9th, 1996, 7:25 p.m., Miami, Florida.

Tea of Bubble Tea⁠—Tea, does that question feel like the right question to you? Is that what you also want to know?

Tea: Yes. I feel like we've talked about this extensively, actually, in terms of what the question means for both of us because I feel like the question resonates very different for both. And I think for this, we were trying to have a mutual understanding of it. But I feel like⁠—yeah, a bit hesitant, but it does feel like the right question. But it might not be the same meaning for both of us.

Jessica: Right. I mean, that's partially why I asked. And I'm just going to say, Tea, you were born May 2nd, '89, 4:45 p.m. in⁠—will you say it properly for me? Because I'm going to fuck it up.

Tea: Yeah. In Quito, Ecuador.

Jessica: Thank you very much. And I'm casting your composite chart for New York, New York. Let me start with something that I feel like is really important. When I was studying your relationship chart, the first thing that actually stood out to me is communication. The communication in your relationship chart is really⁠—it's challenging. When it works, it's synergistic and dynamic, and it feels like, "Oh my God. This person gets me more than any other person has ever gotten me." It's just⁠—unh.

And then, the rest of the time, there's a risk of serious misunderstandings⁠—either or both of you have lied to each other, or you've really misunderstood each other. This theme is kind of reiterated in a bunch of different places in your relationship chart. And so, when I first looked at your relationship chart, I was like, "Oh. Are we here to talk about embodiment, or are we here to talk about communication, trust, and truth?" Does that make sense?

Tea: Yeah, it does, very much so.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. So bear with me because we're going to go in a little quickie hot circle here. So, Bubbles, for you, communication is something that you really rely on. Verbal communication is something that you really rely on because embodiment is hard for you, and emotions run really big for you. And you're somebody who picks up on a lot of things. Your sense impressions are kind of chronic and overwhelming.

Bubbles: Mm-hmm.

Jessica: And so, because you've got this Mercury in Virgo⁠—it's intercepted in your seventh house, but you've got this nice Mercury in Virgo. It's trine to Jupiter. Your go-to is to process. I mean, also, very Queer, very Queer, but your go-to is to process, to talk things out, to talk things out, to talk things out.

Tea, on the other hand, you also really like to process. You also are somebody who is⁠—your mind doesn't stop. You go, go, go. But your emotional tolerance for things moving fast is not the same. There is a way that⁠—and to be fair, you are a Taurus, but this is not why it happens. It's like there's this way that you can have a hard time going into all the processing, all the talking, when your emotions or your body feels shut down.

Tea: Yeah. It's true. I oftentimes just need a break because I usually don't⁠—I'm unable to pick up on the emotional feeling even though logically I may know what's up.

Jessica: What you just said is really clear, that you need space; you need time to process through what's happening.

Now, Bubbles, do you know this about your partner?

Bubbles: I do know this.

Jessica: Okay. Okay.

Bubbles: I've learned it.

Jessica: Okay. Yeah, because this is not easy for you. I mean, it just does not look like it's an easy thing for you because there's a lot of things in your birth chart that say the same thing, Bubbles. It's overwhelmed, upset? Go faster. Go harder. Go deeper. And that has this really fun effect on Tea where Tea shuts down more. So that brings me to⁠—so we're staying with communication. You all asked for embodiment, but I'm not giving you that yet. I'm starting with communication. So that brings me to your relationship chart.

Now, in your relationship chart, you have Mercury in the eighth house in Cancer. So you really do feel understood by each other in a way that is intensely bonding. However, it is opposite Uranus and Neptune, and this is what leads to dishonesty at times, whether it's intentional or unintentional. And have you both experienced that, being unintentionally dishonest and then sometimes intentionally dishonest to avoid conflict or avoid problems?

Bubbles: Yeah.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Both of you. Okay. Okay. Cool that you're admitting it. I mean, I already knew the answer, but I'm really happy we're admitting it because that brings us to another layer, which is you have this Saturn in your relationship chart in the third house, which is the place of communications. Don't worry, Tea. I'm going to explain what the fuck I'm saying because I know you're not an astrology nerd. And it's square to Pluto.

So what this means is that the communication problems that exist between the two of you, or at least one of you, triggers a parental dynamic that you fucking hate and, for the other one, if not for both of you, triggers your survival mechanisms. It feels incredibly dramatic and injurious when the other person doesn't understand you or doesn't listen to you.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: So, unfortunately, with these two things in the relationship chart, what can happen is, because you know that your partner is going to have such an intense feeling emerge from hearing something they don't want to hear or hearing it in a way they don't want to hear it, sometimes you double down. And sometimes, you completely just are like, "Okay. I'm not going to say anything. It's not worth it." Is it both of you who does that or one of you more than the other?

Bubbles: In my own opinion, I feel like Tea does it a little bit more than I do.

Jessica: Tea does it more than you do. Okay. Tea, do you agree with that sentiment?

Tea: Yeah. No, I definitely tend to avoid when things get a bit heavy.

Jessica: Yeah. So, Tea, do you get mad out loud? I know you get mad. What I'm asking is do you express your anger towards your Bubbles?

Tea: No.

Jessica: Okay. But you experience anger.

Tea: Yeah, for sure.

Jessica: Yeah. And you don't have to answer this if you're uncomfortable, but was there violence in your early childhood home?

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. I'm sorry, and we don't have to get into it further. But I want to just take a moment to acknowledge that this shows up in your birth chart, Tea. And for you, you run fucking hot. You do. You run hot. And that means that you are frequently irritated and agitated. And because of stuff from your childhood, you saw this incredibly toxic and dangerous expression of anger, and it kind of modeled for you what not to do.

And so you just at some point decided, "Okay, I'm not doing that. I'm just fucking not doing that." And you have not done it so much that you've kind of distanced yourself from anything that kind of comes close to you leaking or expressing anger or rage. And then, to make things much more complex, the few times your anger does come out, it comes out with the force of all the times you didn't say what the fuck you felt.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. And, Bubbles, I see you nodding your head, so it for sure makes sense. Okay.

Tea: These are feelings I've felt but never heard verbalized.

Jessica: Okay. So let's stay with this for just a second because the astrology behind it is actually a bunch of things in your chart, but the thing I want to focus on is you have a Mars/Chiron/Midheaven conjunction, and it's square to the Moon in Aries. I wouldn't consider this a T-square because it involves your Ascendant, but we'll give it a little bit of texture for that. This conjunction at the top of your chart in Cancer generally indicates a guardian or parent who was violent. And violence can be a lot of different things. It can be emotional. It can be physical. It can be verbal. It could be all the fucking things, unfortunately.

Because you have Uranus opposite all those things in Cancer, because you have Uranus square your Moon, it was unpredictable. That's for sure. It was unpredictable. So your reaction to unpredictability⁠—not great. You're not a fan, which is such a bummer because you're only attracted to unpredictable weirdos. Am I right?

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah, you are⁠—because at some point, you're going to need to realize⁠—you don't need to do shit, but it is in your best interest to realize that you are not that parent. You are not a child. You're not yourself as a kid. And by being able to identify and really believe those things, you'll be better equipped to identify whether or not the person who's triggering you⁠—in this situation, we're talking about Bubbles⁠—is actually a threat or just somebody who's making you feel feelings, because for you, because you are over-guarded around your relationship to anger, you don't have the capacity to tell the difference in the moment.

When you start to see red, it's just like, fucking danger. It's really hard for you to gauge, like, "Oh, I feel danger because I don't know how to feel these feelings," versus, "This person is going to harm me, like actually harm me." And so the shutting down, for you, Tea, feels like the safest and healthiest thing you can do in the moment. And I believe that you are willing in those moments to fucking defend your right to not say anything as though your life depends on it, which is pretty much Bubbles' least favorite thing. You're telling a Leo with a Capricorn Rising and a Cancer Moon, "I don't want to process feelings right now." That doesn't work.

For Bubbles, when this shutdown happens, which⁠—hopefully, we can all have empathy for how and why it happens for Tea. But for Bubbles, what happens is it just feels like⁠—just rejection: "You've just abandoned me." Everything that you kind of want to self-soothe when you feel scared, activated, confused⁠—whatever⁠—Bubbles, it requires engagement. And so, of course, you fell in love with and partnered with somebody who's like, "Yeah, except for I don't engage when things are complicated." Sorry. Sorry. It's hard. It's hard. Bubbles, does that make sense to you? Does that feel right?

Bubbles: Yeah. Absolutely.

Jessica: Okay. So there's a reason why the two of you have come together, and it's because, actually, there is passion between the two of you. And when things are good⁠—and please tell me if I'm right or wrong about this, but you are incredibly embodied around each other.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: And the sex is good, yeah?

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: And is the sex good even when you're not getting along great?

Bubbles: Yeah.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. Okay.

Tea: I feel like it's always great.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. So this is not really an issue of embodiment, or maybe it is, in a way that I'm not clocking yet. We'll get there in a minute. It's an issue of being present. Neither of you are great at letting shit go. You have your own styles. Maybe one of you is worse on the surface, but I'm going to go with neither of you are great at letting shit go. So, if one of you did something in the first six months of the relationship, the other one is still waiting for it to happen again even if it got worked out.

Bubbles: Yes.

Jessica: Okay, because you both have guilty looks on your faces, just for the audience. So I can tell you've both done things, and you've both held on to things.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. There is something inherent to this relationship, with its beautiful North Node in Sagittarius in the first house, that says that in being together, when it works, you feel more like yourself than you felt before. You really feel like, "Oh, I can be myself with this person and in this dynamic."

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: But then, when it's not working, it feels like, "This person's fucking trying to kill me. Why is this person like this?" It gets very hard very quick. It's 0 to 80 is how it feels.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Are y'all monogamous?

Bubbles: Well, I'm nonmonogamous.

Tea: And I'm monogamous, but we're working on exploring what being nonmonogamous would mean for the both of us together.

Jessica: And are you comfortable with Bubbles being nonmonogamous while you are monogamous?

Tea: Yes, but I feel like we're working on what that would mean when Bubbles does find someone they want to connect with romantically because then I wouldn't know how I would feel.

Jessica: So okay. I am not a leading expert on such things, but bear with me as I say, from my perspective, monogamy is, "We only fuck each other. We only have feelings for each other that we invest in." Nonmonogamy is, "We hook up with other people, but there's boundaries around it." Polyamory is, "We can fuck with other people but also have feelings that we explore and build on with other people."

So, kind of, what you're saying, Tea, is polyamory⁠—not so much. Nonmonogamy you're trying to figure out.

Tea: I mean, all these words are relatively new for me. So I feel like what is comfortable with me is definitely [redacted] being able to connect with people in all the ways, but I feel like I've been struggling with what it would mean for them to connect with someone sexually. And I feel like that is what feels like a bit of a struggle for me.

Jessica: Yeah. So neither of you have acted on it yet?

Tea: No. Not yet. It is something that we're talking about in therapy, but we haven't necessarily explored that.

Jessica: Okay. You didn't ask about this, but guess what you're getting? You're getting my fucking pushy ass. So here's what I'm going to say. Here's what I'm going to say. Danger, Will Robinson. That is probably a reference neither of you get. Okay. Fine. Let me say it better. This is a fucking risky venture the two of you are engaged in because of your communication problems. Even the way you just answered my questions⁠—my head is spinning. I have no idea what either of you are saying completely. You know what I'm saying? These were not clear, direct⁠—like one of you is nonmonogamous and the other one is monogamous? That's not a thing I've ever heard before. That's not clear.

And I don't mean that as a criticism. I just mean this is messy, and nothing's happened yet. So, sweet Jesus, what will happen when somebody does something? Because there's no clear ground rules. I don't think that the only way to be nonmonogamous or polyamorous is to have fixed rules, but I think the only way for the two of you to do it is to have rules, okay? I'm just going to be very direct. And there has to be consent, and there has to be transparency for this relationship to work, whether you're monogamous, poly, nonmonogamous, whatevers.

Honestly, that looks tricky for the two of you. And yet, it looks like it is really important because⁠—I'll be just totally direct⁠—sometimes you really harm each other.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. The two of you love each other. I didn't drop the L-word first, right? You dropped it already; you know you love each other?

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. Cool.

Bubbles: We've been dropping it.

Jessica: Okay. Good. Okay. Good. Just wanted to make sure. The two of you love each other, and you want to be able to have a loving relationship. But your shit does come up with each other in a really intense way. Both of you, it looks like, struggle with resentments around having to make compromises for the other one. Is this correct?

Tea: I mean, at least for me, it is.

Jessica: Yeah. How about for you, Bubbles?

Bubbles: Honestly, I don't necessarily feel resentment.

Jessica: Okay. And do you feel resentment ever from Tea?

Bubbles: Sometimes, but I don't⁠—yeah. I guess I just necessarily don't⁠—never really thought of it that way.

Jessica: Okay. I don't want to make anything worse, but I warned you before we started that this shit is deep. So sorry. Your relationship chart, the two of you have a Moon/Pluto opposition. This can reflect resentments when one person is compromising in ways that are not healthy or they're not making peace with the compromise they're making and when the other person isn't. I'm not shocked to hear, Tea, that you do experience more resentments because you're less assertive. You're not a less assertive person; you're a very, very, very, very, very assertive person on the inside. But given that, the amount of times and the ferocity with which you do assert yourself, it's like a drop in the bucket of what's actually happening inside of you. And so I do think that it makes sense that you kind of struggle with that more.

I will say, because I'm here for it, if the two of you do not make really fucking consensual and transparent agreements around nonmonogamy, this could be a problem long term because, Tea, I don't know that you're really down for this. You say you're down for this. All the words you used, I was like, "Okay. Cool. This is great." I don't know if I totally believe it. Your birth chart is⁠—there's a bunch of words that I could use, but I will say this. Separate from the fact that Bubbles wants this, I don't see why you would endeavor to challenge your jealousy, your possessiveness, and your comfort with monogamy. Does that feel right, Tea?

Tea: I think I'm in the middle of exploring all of that because I do come from a mindset of having one partner and spending your whole life with one partner, but I also understand how that is not the only way to experience partnership. And that may not be as healthy as well. So I feel like, with Bubbles, exploring that a little bit more, but yeah, of course, it's like venturing into unknown space. So I don't know how I'll react.

Jessica: I'll say two things. One is you, Tea, are currently going through a once-in-a-lifetime transit called Uranus conjunction to Venus. And, Bubbles, you may have heard me talk about this transit on the podcast in the past. But Uranus conjunction to Venus only happens once in a lifetime, if it happens. And when it happens, it is the time to explore nonmonogamy, to explore basically all manner of living outside the box, playfulness within queerness, and I don't just mean that like gayness. It's just all playfulness with queerness. It's a great time for experimentation.

So I'm not shocked that this is the moment that you're exploring, and I think it's good. But this will be over for you in April of 2024. So it is possible that you will change in this period, and it's also possible that this is only something that you can do for this period of your life. And I see how hard it is for you to assert a boundary when you feel really activated. And so I want to put my foot in it. I want to say this to the two of you so you can refer back to this to check in, because in your birth chart, you have a Venus/Pluto opposition. You also have a Sun/Pluto opposition, and your Venus and your Sun are in the eighth house. So you can be pretty possessive, it looks like, or jealous. And that's not bad or good.

I don't think monogamy is good or bad. I don't think nonmonogamy is good or bad. They're just different ways of relating. And the question really emerges, can this relationship handle the communication and trust demands of nonmonogamy? I will say for you, Bubbles, I feel like you're somebody who could kind of fall in love for a month and then move on. You could kind of dip your toe in places and just be like, "Oh, that was fun. I dipped in my toe." And it's emotional and it's intense for you, and then you kind of move on. Am I seeing that correctly?

Bubbles: I feel like I have been there before. I think it's been a long time since that's happened.

Jessica: Yeah. I just don't see the same kind of possessiveness or the same kind of leaning towards monogamy as the best. I do see that you can do that. Have you ever cheated?

Bubbles: Yes.

Jessica: Okay. In this relationship or in other relationships?

Bubbles: In other relationships.

Jessica: Okay. It's that damn fucking Jupiter opposition to your Venus and Mars and Moon. It can just find you being like, "I'll just grab this cookie from the cookie jar when no one's looking." It's not an evil motivation, but it can get you in trouble. I will say that you kind of enjoy the freedom part of a nonmonogamous agreement. That feel right?

Bubbles: Mm-hmm.

Jessica: Yeah. And so the level of clarity and transparency and agreement that the two of you may need might be a little bit of a boner killer to you, and it's something that you just need to be really honest with yourself and your partner around as you negotiate where are the doors, where are the windows, and what's a wall? What are we not crossing over/through? That's going to be a bit of an issue for the two of you.

But I have done a very good job of derailing our conversation. So I just want to pause because I know you want to talk about embodiment, and I wanted to pause and just leave space for you to redirect me. Ask me questions, whatever feels helpful.

Bubbles: I think that when you were mentioning earlier about this conversation and focusing more on trust and communication, I think, was really spot on. I think the part around the original question around the disconnection with the bodies, I think⁠—well, one, I think it kind of derived from my psychic that I saw and then mentioned, "And your partner is, too. But it just looks different." And I think that that sparked me to kind of focus a little bit more about things that we would disagree on or conflicts that would happen that didn't make sense to me.

And it, at least for me, brought me back to my body of like, "Oh, I do like the idea of hanging out with them and wanting to hang out with them," but then when I was with them, my body [indiscernible 00:24:47] be by myself. And having that kind of discomfort⁠—I'm not really good with, necessarily, lying and being⁠—or not lying, but⁠—yeah, I guess lying. I can't fall into it if my body isn't feeling comfortable. But it takes me a while to understand what my body even needs [indiscernible 00:25:04].

There's been instances where I feel like that's happened on Tea's end as well, and we aren't necessarily honest about, like, "Oh, I actually want time alone even though I do want to hang out with you."

Jessica: Does that feel right, Tea? Do you also have that experience of yourself?

Tea: Yeah. I believe so. I think it just looks a little different. I feel, for me, it's like I wear a meat suit in terms of I don't feel connected to my body; it's just something I wear for now. And I've processed and I've taken steps to feel a bit more at home with my physical self, but I feel like I've gotten used to this dissociative state that when I am with Bubbles, I want to be with them emotionally, spiritually, but sometimes my body needs space. And I guess, yeah, I sometimes find it hard to express what it is that I need because I truly don't know what I need sometimes. Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. This makes really good sense, and let me speak to it. Okay. So let's start with you, Bubbles. You have Neptune conjunct your Ascendent. You have Neptune conjunct your Ascendant and also Uranus conjunct your Ascendant. And so, when we have Neptune conjunct the Ascendant, generally, what most people feel is really out of the body. It is so easy for you to just be like a balloon with a nice long string. Every once in a while, you lose the balloon.

It's something that sometimes is disassociated. Sometimes it allows you to be around different kinds of people and to kind of do the chameleon vibes, like you can really fit in with lots of different kinds of people and lots of different kinds of ways, and that's fun for you. It's like wearing different outfits. And sometimes it's an anxiety machine. It's just like luck of the draw, like it's not even in your jurisdiction. It just kind of feels like it happens.

But the fact that Uranus is also there means that the more disassociated you are, the more [indiscernible 00:27:12] your nervous system gets. So, when you feel disassociated, you may also feel impatient or restless or like, "What am I going to do? What am I going to say? Where am I going to go?" And again, that brings us back to how I started with your Mercury. You love to fucking talk. Sometimes you're like, "Okay. Let's fucking hang out." And then you get there, and Tea is in body mode, which⁠—we're going to get to you, Tea, in a second, but is in more of a body mode and is just like, "Let's just be with each other." And that makes your Uranus want to rip all the hairs out of your eyelash. It just makes you very fucking agitated.

(laughter)

Jessica: Okay. So you both know what I'm talking about. And to make it worse, you got a fucking little tight little stellium here in Cancer. So you're like, "Oh, I'm not allowed to have these feelings," and that makes it worse. I know this is going to sound a little random, but, Bubbles, do you like getting foot massages?

Tea: Oh no.

Jessica: Okay. So it didn't sound as random⁠—

Bubbles: Yes. I like foot massages, but I also like massages in general.

Jessica: Okay. And then why did you say, "Oh no," Tea?

Tea: I'm not a feet person.

Jessica: Okay. Okay. Okay. You're not a foot person. Are you a person who likes to give massages at all, Tea?

Tea: Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Jessica: Okay. So we're just focusing on you for now, Bubbles, okay? Because when you're in a zingy⁠, just like⁠—you know what I'm talking about. It's like irritable because it's restless, but it's excitable, but you thought you wanted to hang out, but now you didn't. You thought you wanted to watch this movie, but it's annoying⁠, or whatever it is. Right? In those moments, Tea, if you notice that happening, a good move is to be like, "Hey, do you want a little massage?"

And the reason why I said feet is because, actually, a foot massage would work for you, but also because it's like a little bit of, "I'm putting my feet on your lap." This could be a hand massage. I'm not saying a full-body massage where you don't sit next to each other, one of you sitting in front of the other one. No. That's not going to do it. It has to be more of a, like, "What about your wrists, your hands?" You know what I mean? Like a little massage. Does that, Bubbles, feel like that actually would help you to get a little bit more in your body?

Bubbles: Yeah, I think it would. I think sometimes, when the irritability happens and things like that, sometimes it's when we are with each other but sometimes when we're not. And then⁠—I don't know⁠—I feel like I've explored many different ways of grounding myself, but I don't feel like I have landed on something solid that I can do on my own.

Jessica: Okay. Let me speak to that. Don't ground yourself. It's not working, as you can tell. Center yourself. You're a fucking Leo. You're fire. Center yourself. Yeah, you got a Capricorn Rising, but Neptune and Uranus are sitting on top of it. You've got a Cancer Moon. So getting grounded, in some ways, feels like being tamped down, like it's a bummer for you. And you can kind of be like, "Oh, am I going to get"⁠—it doesn't feel exciting when you're in that Uranian activated state, which is very nervous-systemy. So, instead, what I would recommend that you do is find your center. Have you ever done Pilates?

Bubbles: Yes.

Jessica: Okay. So you know where your center is. You know how to isolate your core, quote unquote. Right? You know what I'm talking about?

Bubbles: No. I did it maybe once or twice I've done that.

Jessica: Okay. Well, you may want to spend a minute on YouTube. Put, "Isolate my core Pilates"⁠—TikTok, whatever. Spend a minute figuring out where it is, where your core is. Isolate it in your body. And then, from there, what I like to do is say my full name out loud three times as a way to call in all my energy into my core. That's a practice. I mean, there's a bazillion practices for getting centered. But I would encourage you to play with that instead of getting grounded because I think, for you, getting centered is a little bit more in alignment with your vibes.

And from there, if you want to try to get grounded, it'll be a million times easier than going from, "I am a balloon on a very long string," to, "I am grounded. I have feet." In those moments, I want to say, though, when you're really activated, is 100 percent of the time not the time to figure out your relationship issues, okay? Yeah. Never. 100 percent never ever, because you're activated, because you're feeling so restless inside of your own skin that you're looking for answers about how you can feel better. And that's really about you and not about us; it's not about the relationship. It's not a Bubble/Tea moment. It's just a Bubble moment.

Now, one more thing I want to say about this, just focusing on you, Bubbles, is you're allowed to come over and be like, "Oh, I'm too agitated to hang out. I think I need to go for a run around the block and come back and see if I feel better," or, "I think I need to do something else." You're allowed to do that, and Tea is allowed to not fucking like it. And that's okay. I know both of you like to avoid being the bad guy in a dynamic, and it makes both of you kind of struggle a little bit more than you need to in this relationship.

It's okay to be like, "You are wonderful. I'm in a fucked-up mood. This is not your fault. This is not about you, and I don't want to make it about us. So I'm going to go do a thing." And then text a heart or something later. You know what I mean? You're allowed to do that. And, Bubbles, if you do this, I don't think that Tea will ever like it, ever, honestly⁠—ever. But that is a problem of you figuring out how to take care of yourself, and if you're consistent and you really are taking care of yourself in those moments and you have less unnecessary processes or fights, then eventually Tea is going to like it because Tea has a very profound dislike of unnecessary processing and fighting. Am I right, Tea?

Tea: Yes.

Jessica: Yeah. So, if it works, then it'll work.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay.

The state uses media and technology to silence, surveil, and criminalize marginalized communities. Big tech companies partner with ICE and law enforcement to spy on Trans youth, folks seeking abortions, activists, immigrants, Muslim families, and more. Tech and media don't just shape how we tell our stories; they also determine who is and is not free. MediaJustice is a BIPOC- and Queer-led organization fighting for racial, economic, and gender justice in a digital age. Home of the MediaJustice network made up of more than 70 grassroots partners, MediaJustice fights discrimination, surveillance, algorithmic bias, and dehumanizing narratives alongside communities most impacted by these issues. Support MediaJustice's vision of a world where everyone is connected, represented, and free. Visit mediajustice.org/give today, and follow MJ on social media, @mediajustice, to join our movement.

Are you looking to level up your skills or expand your self-knowledge with astrology? If so, explore the classes on my website, where you can gain the expertise and also perspective that you seek with various topics, from manifestation to the twelfth house to outer planets and love or exploring mental health with astrology. There are so many classes that I have on the Shop page of my website. Just visit lovelanyadoo.com/shop⁠—that's lovelanyadoo.com/shop⁠—and learn with me today.

States across the U.S. have advanced a record number of bills attacking Transgender rights and threatening the health and safety of Trans people and their families. Whether you're Trans and looking for support or an ally wanting to help, here are three organizations to know about. There's MTUG, or Metro Trans Umbrella Group, serving Trans people directly in the St. Louis area; Transgender Education Network of Texas, which is an advocacy and resource group; and lastly, A Place for Marsha, which facilitates safe housing for Trans individuals escaping transphobic states. Check out these resources, signal boost, and support them however you can.

The City of Atlanta has leased 381 acres of the Weelaunee Forest to the Atlanta Police Foundation for a police military facility funded by corporations. But we can still fight. Visit stopcopcity.city/organizewithus for ways you can help from wherever you are. And if you're registered to vote in Atlanta, Georgia, you can sign the petition, which you can find at copcityvote.com/petition. The links to both of these things are in show notes.

Jessica: Okay. Now, Tea⁠—so the psychic wasn't wrong. Tea, you also have a Neptune thing in your chart. Fucking Neptune, man. Fucking Neptune. Neptune sits at the bottom of your chart. It's conjoined to Saturn. You also have a Uranus/Mars opposition. Oh, and Neptune is also square to your Moon. What this means is that when you feel burdened by your meat suit, you tend to go to a state of disassociation and anxiety or depression.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. You like both of those things zero percent. This is not fun for you. And so, for you, what you have this really well-developed habit of doing is just kind of hanging out, not like a long balloon string situation. No, no, no, no. No. You like hanging out five feet off the floor. You're tracking your meat suit. You're tracking your environment. You're tracking yourself all the damn time. But you're not present in yourself. Does this make sense?

Tea: Yeah. It does.

Jessica: So, when your beloved partner does something that rips you out of your very meticulously curated self-care moment by having a thought that you weren't expecting or a need that you don't know how to respond to, it rattles you, it looks like. It rattles you. And the intensity or the ferocity of your emotional reactions scares you, and you don't want to be angry. And I will say I personally am such a huge fan of anger. I'm really such a huge fan of anger. I think anger is really healthy. I think not getting angry can be just as healthy as getting too angry. It depends. It depends. I mean, I'm not advocating for violence or whatever.

But your fear around becoming a perpetrator has encouraged you to perpetrate harm against yourself kind of on the daily. And it makes it really hard for you to be flexible in how you respond to your own emotions and certainly to your partner because your partner will show up with all this zingy, dynamic energy, being like, "I'm here. I'm there. I'm everywhere. Let's see what's going to happen."

Bubbles: Before, it was harder to know. I think, now that I've gotten to know them better, I am able to notice. But I still find myself having a hard time reading them. I often don't know what they're feeling, and it's sometimes confusing.

Jessica: Tea, has everyone you've ever dated said that?

Tea: The thing is I haven't dated a lot of people.

Jessica: Okay.

Tea: This is probably my second meaningful relationship ever.

Jessica: Okay. Did that other person say that they had a hard time knowing what the hell you were feeling?

Tea: That other relationship was over 15 years ago.

Jessica: Okay. So you have been really emotionally guarded.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. Look at you, being emotionally guarded and then dating somebody with this much emotional energy. You did a damn thing. You were like, "If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it 100 percent. This is what's happening." Okay. Okay. I respect that. I respect that. I can understand why a psychic would point to the ways in which you both have a hard time being in your bodies. And I do agree that that is really foundational to a lot of the stuff that happens with the two of you, just in fucking life, not just in your relationship.

But in your relationship chart, the fact that you both have a hard time staying in the meat suit isn't the problem. It isn't a problem, because your physical connection is so good. It's really good. When the two of you touch, there's just something that⁠—it's like Lego pieces. The two of you fit really well. Does that feel right to both of you?

Tea: We've said that to each other before.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's visceral. It's tangible. It's so clear in your relationship chart, it's stupid. It's stupid. What I'm the most concerned about when I look at your relationship chart is how the two of you each, as individuals, communicate when you feel threatened. And that threat is not always between you. Sometimes that threat is in your own meat suit, in your own mental health, whatever it is.

Bubbles: I just don't know what way to communicate to them then.

Jessica: Okay. That I can give you. Here's the thing, okay? I'm actually going to start with you, Tea. Tea⁠—

Tea: Yes.

Jessica: ⁠—if they ask you, "Can we talk about this right now?" would you say the word "no" if you actually weren't open?

Tea: Uh…

Jessica: So much silence. So much pausing. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Tea: I have definitely done that, where I say yes, but inside, something is probably saying, "No," or, "Not now."

Jessica: Mm-hmm. But have you ever said verbally, "No"?

Tea: No.

Jessica: Okay.

Tea: Well, I've gotten better in saying that. I think, recently, yes, I have been saying, like, "Okay. I need a pause."

Jessica: So, Bubbles, when Tea says, "I need a pause," you're hearing, "No"?

Bubbles: I would say that, before, they would just not answer. And then, recently, they have been more vocal. But what happens is they do just say, "Not right now," and then they'll leave. Or if we're apart and I text them, "Can we talk?" I would have to wait like three hours and then get a response of, like⁠—

Jessica: Three hours for a Leo. That's bananas. That's bananas. I am stunned that your house has not yet been burned down. I'm joking. I'm sun-sign stereotyping, and I'm very against it. Okay. Okay. Okay. So here's my worry about you, Tea. You say either with your words or with your behavior, "I can't right now," which you have the right to do. And I applaud you for doing it when you do it⁠—ideally with your words and not just by ignoring a text for three hours. My God.

But the person who says, "I'm not available to talk about this right now," is always, 100 percent of the time, responsible for bringing it up again later. And we all know that's not your forte; am I right, Tea?

Tea: Yeah. That's true.

Jessica: It's not your fucking forte. So you have every right to say, "Oh my God. I can't." And you can say "I can't" because the energy with which Bubbles is bringing anything to you is too much or because you just don't have the bandwidth or whatever your reason. But if you don't then make a promise and keep your fucking word about when you're going to bring it back up, then you're putting 100 percent of the communication work on Bubbles, which⁠—there's no person that that would go well with, but again⁠—yeah. No. Leo. I mean, Cancer Moon.

It's just not going to work well for you. It's just never going to work well for you to do that. But also, there's no birth chart that would make this work well for you as a habit because there is a part of you that just wants things to go away. Am I right, Tea?

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. And you are lucky that you have a partner who is willing to work on shit. But you do need to make a decision for yourself that you're allowed to want things to go away and to still do your part within the relationship because what you're saying, Bubbles, about, "Okay, but then how do we fucking communicate?"⁠—you didn't say it that aggressively, but you're saying, "How do we communicate?" Part of what I worry about is that one of you is doing the communicating, and the other one is trying to keep up.

There's a struggle here around your values around communication and your pacing around communication. I'm going to give you homework, which, honestly, Tea, you're not going to like. And if I'm being totally frank, I don't think you're going to be good at it. And hopefully, you'll keep trying because the only way to get better at things is practice. And then, hopefully, Bubbles, you'll be able to just not take it personally when Tea is bad at this. And also, you have the right to ask for Tea to try to get better at this.

But, Tea, you get to say, "I cannot have this conversation right now," but not after fucking ghosting Bubbles for four hours. You have a right to have a boundary, but when you say no, say, "In the next couple hours, I will reach back out either to talk or to schedule a time to talk." Could you do that, Tea? Do you think that's in your personality where you could do that?

Tea: I could do that. Yeah.

Jessica: Bubbles, would that be enough?

Bubbles: Yeah, because I think I⁠—they'll be like, "Not right now," and then I'll be like, "Okay. So when?" I think that's what triggers my anxiety and my fear of⁠—they're just going to say, "I can't right now," and then run away, and then I have to chase them to figure out when is a good time.

Jessica: Yeah. Of course, that's scary. And also, you're good at chasing people. That's part of why you've been together for two years, because when they are like, "I'm going to go hide under a hole," you're like, "Which hole? Where?" You will chase them, and that means that conversations do happen, right? This is not a great dynamic between the two of you. It's not healthy for either of you. But it makes sense why it kind of works even though it doesn't actually work.

You, Bubbles, have every fucking right to want to know when the conversation is going to happen and for you to not be the post officer of this relationship, constantly bringing letters between the two of you. It has to be both of you do this.

And I will say to you, Tea, that within this, you're just going to sometimes say things that are not super nice. Sometimes you're just going to say things that are hard to hear or hard to say. And you've got this damn Venus/Sun conjunction in Taurus. You really don't like saying things that you don't think are nice, and so what you do is you don't say shit, which is actually really not nice. But it's like you're not the bad guy, so it's easier for you even though you are actually maybe kind of being the bad guy⁠—not the villain, but the bad guy.

I will say emphatically to you, Tea, doing nothing is an action. In a relationship, doing nothing is an action. You know this. You've seen your parents, right, Tea? You know this. Nothing is an action.

Tea: Mm-hmm.

Jessica: Does that make sense?

Tea: Yeah. No, yeah, for sure.

Jessica: Okay. Okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to hit you so hard. But you've seen it. You know it. And what often happens in our efforts to not be one parent is we unintentionally start acting like the other parent.

Tea: It's just hard to kind of see that, because I lost my father when I was a teen, so I think I've been trying so much not to be like my mother that I am sort of ending up being like my father. But I didn't realize it until you mentioned that.

Jessica: Yeah. That's why astrology rocks. This is it. This is it. And you're not alone. Most of us do Scooby Doo cartwheels to get away from being one parent that we ram into acting like the other one, and it's our 30s when we come into realization about that, generally speaking. And you want to be an active participant in your life. I know you do. I mean, I don't know anything, but I feel very confident that you do. But that will require that you make mistakes, and it will require that you feel emotions you don't know how to cope with.

And you will, if you decide to, learn skills around how to do those things. You don't have to have faith in yourself. You have to have a willingness to keep on trying. I mean, faith is good, but when I look at your birth chart, I just see you gotta have the will to try and the willingness to make mistakes because you struggle with that, I would say, when it comes to interpersonal stuff. You don't with other things. You're very hardworking, eh?

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Totally willing to work incredibly hard on something, make mistakes at it, keep on learning from those mistakes, even when it's hard for you, even when it's humbling. You're really good at that. But interpersonally, it's like a whole other ball of wax, can of worms, whatever. And so you have a partner. You have a partner, and your partner is like⁠—I mean, you're practically a damn juggler, Bubbles, of, like, "How are we going to do it? Let's try this way. Let's try that way. It's okay if it falls on our heads. Let's keep on trying." That's just way more your nature. And so the ways in which you guys are so different is like it's your biggest fucking problem, and it's also your biggest asset if you're both willing to do this work.

And that brings me to this. Your relationship chart goes through transits, just like everything else. And, Tea, do you know what transits are?

Tea: No.

Jessica: I respect you. Damn noob, I respect you. So transits are basically the math of planets in real time hitting the planets in a chart, and that explains cycles and trends of experience. You are currently in⁠—your relationship chart is going through a lot. In 2023, Saturn has been squaring your Ascendant. So I wouldn't be surprised if you talked about⁠—oh, you went into therapy. That's what you did. It was probably, "We go into therapy, or we break up. Something has to give." It was like⁠—or serious confrontation with the reality of what is and is not working in this relationship.

That theme is going to continue through the end of the year, so stay in fucking therapy is my advice. Feel free to bring this recording to your couples counselor if you like. Whatever works. That's one thing that's happening. The other thing that's been happening is that Uranus has been trining your Moon, your Midheaven, your Neptune, and your Uranus in your relationship chart. This is a really good time for your relationship. And it's not a good time like it's an easy time; it's a time where, if you do the work, the work will work.

The other and final transit that is happening right now is you have Neptune conjunct the Jupiter at the bottom of your relationship chart. So don't move in together, okay? Are you talking about moving in together?

Tea: We've had sporadic conversations around it, but not any kind of [crosstalk].

Jessica: Don't do it yet. Listen. If you guys make it through the next year and a half, two years, move the fuck in together. You're going to be great at living together, okay? You're just not ready for it yet. Jupiter at the bottom of the chart in a relationship chart⁠—it just gives you a chef's kiss of living well together. It's really a great dynamic. But your communication stuff isn't worked out, and you don't want to feel trapped in a house together because of all the stuff we've talked about, right?

The two of you have something here. You really do. But in order to be in this relationship, you both need to be willing to be more honest with yourselves about what you're feeling in the moments, the exact moments, when you have a really hard time feeling honest with yourself about what you're feeling. And per the psychic's insight, you both disassociate very well when you get triggered emotionally. It creates problems for you both as individuals that become problems in the relationship pretty quickly. But this is workable. These problems are workable if you're willing to do the work on yourselves. Honestly, the communication piece is really important.

And I will say, because I did tell Tea what they needed to do⁠—right? I gave you homework, Tea, that is not easy for you. Now, Bubbles, what you need to do is work on getting consent a little bit more. And what that really requires⁠—and please, Tea, tell me if I'm wrong about this ⁠—is you want to jump in and be like, "Word, word, word, word, word, word, word, word, word." Lots of words. But what Tea needs is a little⁠—you need to preheat the oven here. You know what I'm saying? A little eye contact, maybe a little touch, just a little bit of touch so that everybody's a little bit more in their bodies. Maybe everyone needs to be fed, and there needs to be a nice-smelling candle.

Tea is very sense-based. And so, if you jump into words before Tea's senses are engaged, what happens is Tea⁠—boop⁠—pops right out, and you lose them. And when you lose them, it's very hard to get them back, as we've established. Hours of waiting for a text⁠—that would be⁠—that's some fighting words for me. Bubbles, your homework⁠—and, Tea, am I going in the right direction here for what you need?

Tea: Oh yeah, for sure.

Jessica: Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I'm glad I'm good at this. Okay. Bubbles, your homework is, when you're like, "We need to have this conversation. We need to talk this out," whatever it's about⁠—it could be about the world. It could be about friends. It could be about your relationship. First, give yourself⁠—I don't know. I would do a list of three, like, "Have I made eye contact? Have we connected in the meat suit, in the heart?" There's a nice bridge between the two, so it could be either. And, "Is the environment Taurean-approved?"

So three. Checklist. Three. That's your job because it's not just important that we speak our mind, but it's important that we are heard. And some of that is on us as individuals, like, "How can I communicate in a way this person can hear me?" And some of this is on the person who is supposed to be hearing you. And this is true with text as much as⁠—so I don't just mean this auditorily. This is true with text. It's true with emails. It's true with talking.

I think that you will find that, Bubbles, the process of doing this is incredibly annoying sometimes. Part of why you get so, "Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, word, word, word, word, word," is because you're in your nervous system and not in your body. So part of this advice I'm giving will be irritating to you because it will require you to get in your body. Then, when you get in your body, you might be like, "Oh, this is so uncomfortable. I don't want to be in here." And then it might kind of defeat the whole fucking thing of wanting to talk because now talking isn't making you feel better. Talking is a way to actually be connected, and that's what you're trying to avoid subconsciously.

And if that happens, you make the eye contact. You light the scented candle. And then you ask for a hand massage because asking Tea to do something physical for you⁠—please tell me, Tea, if I'm wrong about this⁠—actually will work as well as you doing something physical for them. Am I right about that, Tea?

Tea: Yeah. Physical touch is⁠—that's my thing.

Jessica: 100 percent. So, Bubbles, you don't need to be a giver in order to get on that level with this person, which is good for you because you like to flip it up. You don't always want to do that.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: So okay. I've given you a lot of words, and also, we've covered a lot of really intense terrain. I just want to pull it all in and see, do you have any questions about any of the stuff we've talked about?

Bubbles: I think something that's hard for me or something that I guess I've been doing better at⁠—and, Tea, let me know if that is true⁠—is that I think tone of voice is something that is really triggering for them, and for me, part of it is that I just was raised in a very loud household, and so that it's just how we talk. The other part of it is that that's just how I'm able to express myself. I also know from my own time in therapy that is partially because when I don't feel heard, I typically scream.

Jessica: Scream or talk loud?

Bubbles: Both. Either/or.

Jessica: Okay. Okay.

Bubbles: And I think that I've worked really hard in not raising my voice when I'm talking to them, but sometimes I feel like then my tone just gets sharp instead, and it feels really harsh. And then we still end up kind of not communicating well.

Jessica: Yeah.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: Do you agree with that description, Tea, of the problem?

Tea: Yeah. I think I didn't know that was a thing for me until Bubbles would kind of raise their tone of voice or would be yelling or screaming, and it definitely triggered me. And I realized I just immediately will just shut down, dissociate, pop out of my meat suit when that happens.

Jessica: Yeah. 100 percent. Okay. Okay. So this is a really tricky problem because it really is like, yeah, in your family, that was very consensual and very comfortable, and nobody was threatened by it, eh, Bubbles? People just talk loud, talk a lot; is that correct?

Bubbles: Mm-hmm.

Jessica: And that's not bad or good for you. It's just kind of normal. And then some of it is you have a very sharp way of communicating when you're fucking annoyed. Let's not sugarcoat it. And you are a little bit of a, as I said, "grab the piece of cake before you really think about whether or not everyone else has had enough cake" kind of person sometimes. Damn fucking Jupiter opposite all this Cancer stuff. And so, when you're in the moment, you don't care that your tone is betraying your feelings. You're just like, "This is how I'm feeling, so it's coming out."

Bubbles: Yes.

Jessica: So what you have in Tea is a very fucking Venusian person. This is a Sun/Venus conjunction in Taurus with Pluto opposite. This is a Libra Rising. This is a Moon, yes, in Aries but conjunct the Descendent. In English, for Tea, tone of voice is so important. If you come in hot, they won't hear a word you're saying. They just won't hear a word you're saying.

And so sometimes you have to admit to yourself that you don't completely care whether or not they hear what you're saying because you just want to fucking say it, and that is a part of your nature. Sometimes you just want to fucking say a thing, and there are going to be consequences to that. And you, Bubbles, do not like the consequences even though you're the one doing the thing. And we're all like that, but let's just be clear.

The other part of it, though, is that, Tea, anything that comes anywhere near violence⁠—like, anything⁠—is just like an instant shutdown, just instant shutdown. I would recommend, Tea, with the fullness of my heart, that you get yourself an individual therapist because couples counseling won't do it alone. Your coping mechanisms from your childhood shit, where there was violence and a lack of safety, are really effective, but they've been effective in insulating you.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. You obviously don't want to remain insulated. You're in love and partnered with a wild one. You didn't choose the safest person in the world. You chose the right person. And what that means is your coping mechanism of compartmentalizing when things start to get a little bit too hot or a little bit too emotional for you, it's kind of inhibiting your ability to be present and respond because you could say to Bubbles sometimes, "I like your tone of voice. I need you to not talk to me in that tone of voice," and still stay present.

Now, Bubbles wouldn't like that. Bubbles wouldn't respond great to that. That's Bubbles' problem. At least you'd be doing the right thing. But what happens is you shut down or you get weird and clamped up, and then Bubbles ends up being right about everything because Bubbles at least is trying to communicate. And now you have a locking of horns and a power struggle instead of an actual conversation about what's actually needing to be said. Does this make sense to both of you?

Bubbles: Yes.

Tea: Yes.

Jessica: Okay. So, Tea, I would recommend individual therapy where the focus is on this issue and how you cope with powerful emotions, anger, all that kind of shit. I will also say people don't talk about this side of Cancer. You've got Moon, Venus, and Mars all in Cancer, Bubbles. They won't talk about this part of Cancer a lot, but cancer is kind of ferocious sometimes. Pinchers. Those pinchers, they're claws. You know what I mean?

You've got this really strong pincher situation. You've also got Pluto at the top of your chart, and Saturn forms a square to your Moon, Venus, and Mars. There are ways that things need to happen for you, and when they don't happen that way, they're wrong. Am I right?

Bubbles: Unfortunately, [crosstalk].

Jessica: Yes. You're talking to a Capricorn. I get you. I get you. You're fine. When you're in a relationship with somebody like, oh, I don't know, Tea, and they're consistently wrong⁠—they're always wrong when they respond in a particular way, right? You and I know what I'm talking about, right? They're always wrong. What the Jupiter in you says, what the Saturn in you says, is, "Okay. Now I don't even have to wait for them to be wrong. I know they're going to be wrong, so I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want."

And this is your own form of rigidity that gets in the way of you getting your needs met. So you get to be right, but you're not happy. And so, when your tone is icy or sharp or you're just screaming, on some level, what's happening is you're more interested in being right than being happy or well. And that means you've left your fucking body. That means you've abandoned yourself in some way. And that's really fucking hard to work on. That's like "work on it throughout the course of your lifetime" stuff. I mean, a lot of the stuff we're talking about is like you'll be working on this throughout the course of your lifetime. It's not like you'll go to therapy and be like, "Oh, it's fixed."

We're not going for that. We're going for the process because if you can tolerate that your partner is wrong and you're right and you still want to be happy and you still want to leave room for them to meet you, and they're going to do it in their way, and it's probably going to be wrong, and also, it's not yours to control it⁠—if you can kind of be in that messiness, then you can simply take responsibility for how you participate.

Now, Tea, I'm not actually saying you're wrong. I mean, the texting him three hours⁠—okay, yeah, that's wrong. But that's not what I'm saying here. What I'm saying is that's how it feels for Bubbles. And you're not making a case for yourself here, Tea, because you're not saying anything, so they can come up with whatever narrative they want, and you're not interrupting that narrative.

So all you need to do is manage your side of the road, Bubbles. And that means if you know that your partner is super triggered by yelling, yeah, when you yell, you're going to shut them down. Now, listen. I'm going to be honest. I'm a yeller. I have a terrible fucking tone of voice a lot of the time when I'm activated and I'm not in my body. So I really identify with you on this, Bubbles. And when people have been like, "Well, can you just change your tone of voice?" I'm like, "No." I mean, I want to, but it's very hard because it's not like you're sitting around planning your tone of voice. It just comes out of your face, right?

But it's still our responsibility to manage that and to take responsibility for if we say the right thing but we say it in a way that cannot be heard, then we're not really saying the right thing. Now we're talking for our own joy of hearing ourselves speak instead of to communicate. Does that make sense, Bubbles?

Bubbles: Mm-hmm.

Jessica: Yeah. Do you ever write each other love notes?

Tea: We used to.

Jessica: At the beginning, eh?

Tea: Mm-hmm.

Jessica: When all the best stuff happens. Okay. And, Tea, you're actually really good at communicating yourself in writing, right?

Tea: Yes. I don't do it often, but⁠—

Jessica: No, you don't, because you're weird and shut down about stuff. But you're very good at it. So I'm going to play to your strengths, okay? I'm going to give you homework as a couple. Write love notes. Make sure that at least once a week, you leave some love notes for the other that includes what you're grateful for, what you appreciate about your partner⁠—like a thing. It can be like, "You have amazing hair, and I really adore your hair." And it can be like, "You clearly are really trying, and I appreciate that you're putting in the work."

It can be deep shit. It can be not-deep shit. I think love notes ideally are notes because I'm old school; I like analog. But it can be a text. I think it would be easier and better for Tea if it was material because, again, Taurus. So a text wouldn't feel as good to you, and I don't know that you'd be as open in writing digitally, Tea. But this is a form of communication that the two of you can really get into that will make you feel way more appreciated, Bubbles, and will make you feel safer and like things are moving at a pace that you can kind of get into, Tea.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Tea: Yeah.

Jessica: I would also say⁠—let's say there's a problem in your relationship. I know it's impossible. Could never happen. But let's say there was a problem in your relationship. What you're going to do is you're going to sit down together in person when you're really going to talk it out. You don't want to do this on the phone. It can wait. I'm sorry, Bubbles, but it can wait. So you're not going to do it on the phone. You're not going to do it over text. You're welcome, both of you. You're welcome. It can wait.

You're going to sit at the table across from each other, and this is what you're going to do, okay? First person's first. Now, it's obviously going to be you, Bubbles. But it would be great if you would try to be you, Tea, okay? First person's going to be like, "This is what I think the problem is." The second person has to say what they think the problem is because until the two of you can agree on what the problem is, you will never find a solution. Capisce?

Tea: Mm-hmm.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. Double capisce. So, step one, you're going to identify the problem. You'll notice every time one of you said a thing, I asked the other one to say, "Do you agree on the description of this thing?" I want you to notice that I did that because it's really important to bring both of you into accountability. So you're each going to identify what the problem is. Then you're going to say⁠—and if you want to, and if it's easier⁠—and it might be much easier for Tea, so this might be important, Bubbles, for you to do as a way to bring Tea in at their own pace even though you don't necessarily need to do this.

Paper and pen. You sit down and write what it is I need to, what it is I think my partner wants or needs in this situation. Two columns, okay? You could do a timer if you want. That's not going to fucking work, so don't do a timer. But you could do a timer if you want, or you could just do it until you feel ready. Ideally, there's some soothing music in the background. Again, think Venus, right? You want a supportive environment.

And then you're going to read it to each other. You're going to just listen to each other. And when one person's reading their take on what the other person wants or needs or what they're feeling, you're not allowed to fucking interrupt. There's no interrupting. I'm sorry, Bubbles. No interrupting allowed. You listen. This is listening time. And then you have a conversation from there. But if you take this strategy, what will work about this is there's a little bit of structure to it, which, actually, your relationship requires around communication. Otherwise, you just end up playing roles. Bubbles, you're just like, "I'm going to drag you around in circles." Tea is just like, "I will not be dragged," and nothing happens.

One is it gives you a little bit of structure. The other, it gives you freedom because what you're saying is what I believe to be happening, what I believe I need, and what I believe you need, because what this will reveal is both what you need but also what you think the other person needs. And if you're wrong about what your partner wants or needs, that's such important information for the two of you to have. If you feel manipulated by the other person's take, that's important information for you to have because then you can deal with that. Then you can deal with there's a resistance in even agreeing about what the problem is. And that is often, in all relationships, what we need to figure out and work with before we can come to try to fix the "problem."

A lot of relationship problems are actually like, "My problem is you're wearing a hat, and your problem is I'm wearing shoes." And it's like, "Well, how do we fix that until we both can acknowledge where the other person's coming from?" Also, this will slow everything down so that Tea can continue to zoop away, shut down, and then come back so that you, Bubbles, can do your own version of zooping away and coming back. There's just a lot more breath in this process.

If you're into binaural beats or something, I might make a playlist that has the right kind of beats for the two of you, and listen to it while you do this so there's something for your brains to chew on while you're staying in the meat suit, staying in the emotions, right?

Bubbles: Yes.

Jessica: Okay. And does that answer the question?

Bubbles: Yeah, [crosstalk].

Jessica: Excellent.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. And then, Tea, did you have any final question yourself?

Tea: No. I feel like I'm just taking it all in, and I definitely need time to process it all.

Jessica: That's perfectly fair and to be expected. So last bit of homework, okay? Last bit of homework. Are you hanging out tonight? After this reading is done, are you hanging out?

Tea: Yeah.

Bubbles: Yeah.

Jessica: When you have⁠—have you already had dinner?

Bubbles: No.

Tea: Not yet.

Jessica: Okay. I want to encourage the two of you to make a real effort to have some sort of super sensual culinary experience together and to not pressure each other to process this reading. Both of you are tapped. I speak as a psychic. You're both tapped, okay? Now, I know, Bubbles, you could talk about this. You could talk about this. Both of you could. I mean, it's weird for you, Tea, right? You haven't ever had a reading before, so there might be a thing⁠—but the reality is I would say both of your energies are really out. So, whatever you can do to do sensual connection, I think, would be good.

I'm just trying to figure out a way for you to both kind of be exhausted together, to remember that you just had an experience together, because what I'm seeing energetically is kind of like your relationship chart emotion. You've both had this experience that was literally about the two of you, but you're both so in your own individual experience, you're not bonded right now. Your coping mechanisms have you going into your individual process instead of your together process, which is why I'm like, "Okay, what are you eating? Are you going to snuggle? What the fuck is happening here?"

That's why I'm asking these questions. So I just want you to notice that. Maybe I'm wrong about it. Maybe I'm right. Just notice it as the evening goes on, and do whatever you can to forge connection with each other. And it doesn't have to be through words. It can be. It doesn't have to be through words, but just remember that you are worth it to each other. You are both worth it to each other. This is not the easiest relationship in the whole entire world; I will not lie. But this is worth it.

There's so much love here. The two of you⁠—when it works, it works so fucking well. And the problems that exist between the two of you are the problems that you have as individuals, with yourselves. And those are the problems I want to see. In a relationship, there's really two kinds of problems. There's the problems that harm you and pull you away from yourself, and there's the problems that exist whether or not you're in the relationship. And most of these problems in your relationship would be the problem you have with anyone.

So you have the love. You have the chemistry. It is worth doing the work, according to me. Obviously, you should do whatever the fuck you want. But according to me, I think it's worth doing the work. And if you can connect to that this evening instead of the content of what was said, I think that will be in your best interests, TBH. You gotta do whatever you can to engage the body. I mean, obviously⁠, not to get in your business, but if you could bone, that would be great. But I don't think it's necessary. You know what I mean? But there needs to be some sort of physical soothing, self-soothing together.

As we're getting at the end, I'm a little scared to let you guys go because I see you both kind of pointing away from each other energetically.

Tea: I think the way that I would put it is I'm definitely more engaged with what you said about me than what you said about us, and I didn't realize that until you mentioned it. And I was like, "Oh. Yeah."

Jessica: There it is. Do you resonate with that, Bubbles?

Bubbles: Yeah. I think it's interesting because a lot of the things that you mentioned, or at least half of them, are things that I knew. There are things that I definitely did not even allude to do or think about, which was the talking stuff. And that's something that I am holding on to right now. And then I'm also thinking about what you mentioned about Tea individually, and I'm kind of doing the thing of rewinding things and situations that have happened and not necessarily focusing on what you said about the both of us.

Jessica: Yeah. Your brain is—it's high-speed internet up there. Okay. So I'm glad that this has been articulated. You don't have to be on the same page all the fucking time. You don't have to be both focused on the parts I said about the two of you. This is recorded for a reason, right? But this is a shared experience, and I want to just kind of bring that home because I am pointing to this as a pattern that when you both get overstimulated or either of you get overstimulated⁠—which this reading absolutely was, obviously, because come on. When you get overstimulated, you both kind of get very in your own heads, and that can lead to all manner of things we've talked about and other stuff as well.

There is just a way that you don't need more data. You don't need more processing. But you do need each other little bit. So, if you want to process, process. But just don't forget to do that Venus sensual connection, like sense-based connection. Okay? It feels very important. So there's your reading.

Tea: Thank you so much.

Bubbles: Thank you so much.

Jessica: I'm really glad we did this.

Tea: Me, too.

Bubbles: Yeah. Me, too.

Tea: Thank you so much.