Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Hey there, Ghosties. In this episode, I'll be doing a live reading with one of my beloved listeners. Every Wednesday, listen in on an intimate conversation and get inspired as we explore perspectives on life, love, and the human condition. Along the way, we'll uncover valuable insights and practical lessons that you can apply to your own life. And don't forget to hit Subscribe or, at the very least, mark your calendars because every Sunday I'll be back with your weekly horoscope. And that you don't want to miss. Let's get started.

Guest: I love all your readings, first of all.

Jessica: Thank you.

Guest: I don't want to get on here and be like, "Ahh," but I've been listening to you for a while. And I lost a lot of people in 2019/2020, and it's like you speak to me every week. It's pretty crazy. I don't even need to write in a question to get my questions answered.

Jessica: Oh, that makes me so happy.

Guest: So I just want to say thank you for being a part of my path and getting to know myself and all these great things. So I'm very excited to be here today.

Jessica: Thank you. That makes me feel so good. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Also, let's just start here. You had me at chinchilla, but then when you said chinchilla named Agent Blaster, I was like, "Let's get married. What is this?" I had to look up what a chinchilla was.

Guest: A lot of people do.

Jessica: So, first of all, I'll just say I know nothing about chinchillas other than I googled a picture, and they're adorable. They're like a squirrel and a bunny and a cat decided to get weird with each other.

Guest: That's how I describe them, squirrel and bunny, always.

Jessica: So we're going to talk to Agent Blaster. Is that a dude's name?

Guest: Yes. So he's a little boy. I adopted him with the name, so he might tell you about his previous home. I believe it was with children that went away to school. The mom was responsible enough just to be like, "Hey, I can't give him the care he needs." And I worked at the animal hospital where she surrendered him, and I took him home. So I was 18 then.

Jessica: Oh, that's so cool. Holy shit. Wait. How old are you now?

Guest: I'll be 29 May 6th, so⁠—

Jessica: How long do chinchillas live?

Guest: So, well kept, 18 to 20. He's about 13 to 14 now, from what I understand. He was about three or four when I got him. My mom works at an animal hospital, and we've seen them 22, 24. So I really don't know what I'm going to do with him. He predates my husband and everything.

Jessica: Oh my God. This is very exciting. Okay. So you had him your whole adult life.

Guest: Yes, I have. Oh my gosh.

Jessica: And what's going on? How can I be of help? Because I want to know this chinchilla.

Guest: Right. So we've been through a lot together, good and bad, everything. When I was younger, I had a lot of moves, and I was kind of houseless for a little bit. I am in recovery from a lot of things. So he's been with me through all of it, thick and thin. Of course, I'm in a beautiful home now with my husband and my other dogs, and he's well taken care of. But after having been together so long, of course I'm curious about his health, but I'm curious almost, what's his little bucket list thing? I always want to take him outside, but I'm always so scared. And whatever he really wants to tell me today. But I feel like it's difficult to say, "Oh, is he happy?" I know he's happy, but what could, maybe, one day we could do for super fun? Is there anything he feels like he can't get through to me? I know he's a little bit of a bully to my dogs. He's so little, but he runs the place.

Jessica: That's adorable. Okay. So⁠—

Guest: Oh, it's so cute.

Jessica: Okay. So say his name out loud for me, and if you call him other things than Agent Blaster, say all the names you call him.

Guest: Sure. So Agent Blaster, Bean, and Chin, pretty much.

Jessica: Okay.

Guest: Bean and Chin are most popular.

Jessica: So, first of all, he thinks he's 14. He doesn't think he's 13.

Guest: Okay. I think so, too, buddy.

Jessica: Yeah. He thinks he's 14. He's a little suspicious of me. I feel like this is a thing he does. When he first meets someone, he's always a little suspicious. People come at his face this way is the way he's showing it to me, and it really bothers him.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: I think it's like with a dog or a cat, you sniff my fingers. That's what people do. But he doesn't like that.

Guest: People like to go up to the cage, and I can imagine⁠—

Jessica: I see.

Guest: Yeah.

Jessica: He doesn't like it. He doesn't like it.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: Yeah. Does he not come out of the cage?

Guest: Yeah, he does. So he lives in the cage. He's got a five-story pretty big guy. Usually, I let him out an hour or two at a time a few times a week. He has free roam of my living room and my hallway, but we keep the bedroom doors shut and the bathroom shut.

Jessica: Smart. Yeah. Yeah, so he can't get into something and get lost.

Guest: Yeah. And I know he wants to be out all the time. He used to be kind of free roam when I was younger. I didn't have other animals. But he gets out.

Jessica: It's interesting. No one's ever asked me who I was before. No animal I've communicated with has ever been like, "Wait a minute. Who are you?" But he's asking me who I am. He's really smart.

Guest: Yeah, he is.

Jessica: He's 14, but the way that a human should hear that is he's in his 60s.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: He's a mature guy.

Guest: He definitely is.

Jessica: Yeah. He's got a serious, contemplative side. And⁠—okay. So he's leading with things he doesn't like. He doesn't like people coming at⁠—if you put your fingers in your face the way I'm doing it, you will see what the hell he's talking about. He just doesn't like people coming at his eyes.

Guest: I can imagine.

Jessica: He doesn't love being picked up.

Guest: No, he does not. Does he care, like, with me? Because he kisses my face, and we're very close.

Jessica: You have a relationship.

Guest: Of course. I just wanted to clarify. Okay.

Jessica: Yes. He doesn't always like getting picked up by you⁠—

Guest: He does not.

Jessica: ⁠—because you pick him up to put him places.

Guest: Yes, I do.

Jessica: You pick him up to manage him, and he hates that because he's⁠—

Guest: It's only intentional. Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. To him, it's like, "I am a person, and you are manhandling me and"⁠—

Guest: "I can do it myself."

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. That's really how he feels. And I mean, sometimes you do have to pick him up. But when you're snuggling and having interactions, he loves it. And do you have a man-child, or is that your husband he's showing me?

Guest: My husband. My husband.

Jessica: Okay. He thinks of him as a man-child. He thinks of him as the human male you take care of. That's not a dis on your husband from Agent Blaster. It's more just⁠—

Guest: He was the first man in my life, you know?

Jessica: I mean, this is the thing. It's like he thinks you take care of this guy a lot, actually, like you take⁠—

Guest: Take care of each other, for sure.

Jessica: Yeah. He doesn't perceive the him⁠ take—oh yeah. Okay. No, he does. He does, but it's different kind of taking care.

Guest: Absolutely.

Jessica: He feels like you take care of him and the husband man in similar ways. That's how he feels, which doesn't mean it's accurate, but that's how he feels. He does like to snuggle with that guy sometimes⁠.

Guest: Yeah.

Jessica: ⁠Much less than he does with you. But also, the guy is⁠—and he thinks of him as "the guy." The guy is sometimes a little bit rough, sometimes a little bit careless, sometimes a little bit impatient. And Chin⁠—Chin? Is that the name you call him most?

Guest: Yeah. Yes.

Jessica: You kind of make him feel unsafe once, and he's a little like, "Are you my enemy? I can't tell if you're my enemy." He gets how vulnerable he is⁠—

Guest: He's so little.

Jessica: ⁠—in this world where everything's so much bigger than him.

Guest: When we feed him treats and stuff, sometimes my husband will try and do it quickly and feed him through the cage. And I always say, "Hey, give him a little respect. Open the door. Give it to him like he's a person."

Jessica: 100 percent. Yes. Yes.

Guest: So he's gotten better with that, but the rushing thing⁠—I can see that.

Jessica: He's not careful. It's not like he's careless, but he's not full of care, you know? He's not careful.

Guest: It's just another thing to do.

Jessica: Exactly. And that, for Agent Blaster, kind of increases the indignity of the whole thing. And sometimes you're like that. And it's always a little indignant for everybody is how he feels, like this feeling of like, "Oh, we gotta clean this cage." He doesn't hate the cage, and he doesn't love the cage. You know?

Guest: Oh, I know.

Jessica: It's like a very mixed thing for him. So, in this cage, there are soft, non-see-through structures that he can kind of move in and out of, correct?

Guest: Yeah. The bottom of the cage and some of the levels⁠—I like to keep towels, and I have more pillowy ones for the bottom because he loves to snuggle when he sleeps, and he loves his little⁠—I have little stuffed animals, dog-toysy things in there. He likes soft.

Jessica: Yeah. That's what I'm seeing. He would prefer to a cage a soft place⁠—now, I'm assuming that the cage is a cage because air, right, and also so you can see him?

Guest: Right. It's kind of only what I've ever considered for him as well.

Jessica: Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. He's a chinchilla. I'll just tell you I don't know if what I'm seeing is kind of like a felt or a felted material, but it's like that kind of a soft cottony felt. That's what it is, eh?

Guest: Mm-hmm.

Jessica: That is his preferred material. So, if you were to⁠—

Guest: I knew it.

Jessica: ⁠—I don't know⁠—sew him little pillows that are like the length of the wall of half of the cage, something he could lean against, something that he couldn't be seen from every angle, he would prefer that.

Guest: Yes. Okay. He has a house, and he does like to be in the house when he sleeps. So I'll create more of that⁠. You know, everybody likes their privacy.

Jessica: That's it.

Guest: The dogs are about his height. I have little dogs. So yeah. That's easy. I could absolutely do that.

Jessica: Okay. He would like that. Now, when it comes to the dogs, he thinks they're stupid. And that's really what it is about. Sorry. But he thinks that they're stupid.

Guest: No, it's funny. I already knew that, Jessica.

Jessica: Yeah. I mean, I can imagine that they know it. You know?

Guest: Yeah.

Jessica: And there's two dogs, yeah?

Guest: Three. But the one is relatively newer, and oh man, the first time they met, he made sure to let her know he was the king. And he didn't⁠—he chased her. He didn't try and bite her, but she was like⁠—

Jessica: Terrified.

Guest: And now, whenever he comes out, they will sit on top of the couch. I let that be their safe space. He likes to hop on the furniture. I don't prefer it anyways, so I usually just say, "No furniture." They have their spot. He has his. But when I tell you⁠—yeah, they try and keep their distance.

Jessica: That's smart. He is just like, "These beings are incredibly stupid, and they must be dealt with." That's just his attitude, like, "They don't know what they're doing." He's not showing me the third one at all, so he might consider that one having been dealt with. But the other two⁠—there's more of a round face, and there's more of a pointy-faced one. He especially doesn't like the pointy-faced one⁠—

Guest: I knew it. Yes.

Jessica: ⁠—because that one's more in his face.

Guest: The older one is the one you're not naming, and she leaves everyone alone. So that's probably why he likes her. She was from a hoarding situation, so when I tell you she could not care less⁠—she sits on her pillow. So that's probably why he's like, "Hey, you're out of my way."

Jessica: Right. Right. We have a détente, basically, is his attitude.

Guest: Yes.

Jessica: Are chinchillas related to rats?

Guest: I don't know for sure, but I guess it is that family, essentially, right? Like the bushy tail, soft fur.

Jessica: That makes sense because his particular intelligence and the way that he's organizing his safety and his self-awareness reminds me a lot of a rat, not like⁠—I know a lot of people have a negative connotation. Honestly, I have one.

Guest: They're smart.

Jessica: But they're so smart, and they will inherit the earth with all the cockroaches. They will outlive us for sure. And he has that same kind of intense awareness of safety and of other creatures and how to work around them. He really does like this snuggle, like when he's riding your neck. That's your spot, right? That's when he⁠ hangs out with you?

Guest: Yeah, and he likes when I touch his neck. He's like⁠—he likes⁠—

Jessica: He likes it.

Guest: ⁠—[crosstalk] up here, too. Yeah.

Jessica: He would like more of that time. And he says that you spend time on⁠—I don't know⁠—I think it's a computer, but it could be a TV. You sit in front of a screen, and⁠—

Guest: Probably phone. Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. He's like, "That could be the time." He's like, "I'm right here, lady." So he actually doesn't think of you as lady. He thinks of you as a friend. It's really interesting, his assignments for people, like idiot dogs⁠—idiot creatures is the dogs, stupid creatures, and then man-child, and then friend. He has these really specific⁠—

Guest: [crosstalk]

Jessica: It's different than I've ever encountered. But⁠—hold on. You give him lettuce?

Guest: No, actually. So chinchillas have very, very, very specific diets. They don't have a gallbladder, so the same bags that you could buy for a bunny with treats, you can't for him. I limit him. He's older now, so I'm like, "Hey, let's live it up." I limit him to hydrated. He loves a banana. He loves applesauce. I don't ever really give him vegetables. And he loves his hay treats. But I do give him some hydrated fruits, not lettuce, typically.

Jessica: He's showing me something crunchy that looks either white or green. That's why I assumed it was lettuce.

Guest: Hay, definitely.

Jessica: Is that what that is? I wouldn't have thought that was hay. Okay. He really likes it. And also, he kind of feels like it's his job to eat it.

Guest: It is.

Jessica: As opposed to other things⁠—

Guest: Because he knows it's good for him, maybe.

Jessica: Okay. Okay. That's what it is.

Guest: It's good for their GI. I try and have a relationship where I can⁠—he's actually the hardest one for me to connect with. My dogs, especially my one dog, it's like boop, boop, let's go. But for him, I think he⁠—well, I know he understands that the hay is something he needs for his GI, so I try and work it into his treats. He has treats that are vitamins, and that has the hay nutrients that he needs. So I don't give it to him as much, and I know he likes that. At least now I know for sure.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. You're right about that. I can understand why he's harder to connect with. There's a couple things. One is that he has a very watchful personality. And judging from what he's showing me of your dogs, your dogs are simple and fun, and they tell you exactly what they need. And he's⁠—the two of you would need to hang out for a couple hours connecting, and then you can really tap into him, because he's kind of like a slow-bake kind of snuggler.

Guest: He is. It took him a while to warm up to my mom. Even Brian⁠—

Jessica: He really likes your mom.

Guest: Oh, I know he does now.

Jessica: He really likes your mom. Yeah.

Guest: I know he does now. But what happened a few years ago⁠—and we don't have to fully get into this, but I met my husband about eight years ago. We didn't live together yet. I spent a lot of time at his house. That period, I know, broke his heart until we moved into here. But my mom is such a⁠—she spoils all of them. And it took him a while to warm up to Brian, too. Before I got my studio, I worked out of my living room. That was a lot of people like, "Hey, what's that? Who is he?" And now, of course, with COVID⁠—well, not of course, but I don't have people over a lot, so it's not as much. I'll be mindful of that because I can relate. I don't really like people in my face either, so⁠—but I know everybody wants to pet him because he doesn't bite. He's very sweet.

Jessica: He's cute.

Guest: He sucks it up. You know what I mean?

Jessica: He's cute. I mean, you haven't showed him to me, and I hope to see him before this is over, but⁠—

Guest: I will.

Jessica: ⁠—he knows he's cute. And he doesn't love that he's cute because he is more of a German Shepherd than a snuggle fluffer. In his heart of hearts, he's a big, somewhat intimidating dog, not a cute fluffer, "let me pick you up" dog.

Guest: So true.

Jessica: He doesn't prefer his smallness. He doesn't feel small. He just knows he's small.

Guest: Exactly.

Jessica: I know this sounds bananas, but have you ever read to him? Have you ever sat and read to him?

Guest: No. I would totally do it.

Jessica: He would like that⁠—

Guest: Oh my God.

Jessica: ⁠—because it's like you being focused. It's not making any sudden moves. He wouldn't mind it if he was in the cage; of course, he always prefers⁠—not always prefers to be out, but he often prefers to be out. But he likes consistent talking. He doesn't like screaming. He doesn't like all the music you listen to.

Guest: Oh, that's actually a good question. I am always afraid of dark and silence, so I leave a night light for him at night. But when I leave, sometimes overnight, I leave the radio on for him. He doesn't like that? Does he prefer classical over rock and roll?

Jessica: He does prefer classical. Yeah. He does prefer classical music. Do you listen to punk music or heavy bass rock?

Guest: So the one Philadelphia station is kind of classic rock. I leave that on for him. But there's a station that my husband likes that's classical, and I remember saying to him, "He really likes this one more." So that's so funny. Oh my gosh.

Jessica: He does. He does like classical. He doesn't like bass.

Guest: My husband plays instruments as well.

Jessica: I mean, he's showing me that there's a way that there's very aggressive music in the house. I assumed it was punk because of how it feels to him, but that's⁠—I mean, it could be bubble pop for all I know.

Guest: I play records and stuff, but that's not on the daily. I can imagine he may be referring to the radio. Okay.

Jessica: Yeah. I mean, does your husband play drums or bass guitar?

Guest: No and no. Guitar, and I recently got him a banjo for Christmas. God bless me, but that's what he wanted.

Jessica: That's cute. Okay. That's cute. But those aren't the things. I think it's more likely to be what you're playing in the house. It's just like⁠—

Guest: Yeah. It's consistent.

Jessica: ⁠—it reverberates in his body a little bit. I don't think he minds silence. Whatever volume you're leaving, you could leave it a little less.

Guest: Oh, wow. Okay.

Jessica: He has sensy little ears.

Guest: Yeah. He's got big, old ears, Jessica.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. He's got sensy ears. Okay. So he's showing me, "My left side, my left haunch⁠—there's a little bit of a soreness in there." I think he has⁠—I don't know if chinchillas get arthritis. It doesn't feel exactly like arthritis, but it feels like⁠—I don't know if he got injured. I don't know if he got picked up a little aggressively or if he's just got soreness from being an old guy.

Guest: Oh no. Okay. Could be both. But when I first got him this cage, he took a hard fall into it, and I remember being like, "Oh no. No." And he didn't jump up for a day or two. I said to my husband⁠—I was like, "I think that he may have hurt his leg/new cage, but he's not using the top level like he likes to." And he worked into doing it. And I had a feeling his leg hurt. I do have joint supplements that I'll continue to give him.

Jessica: Yeah. I think that's smart. I also think he's an older guy, so it is a little bit what it is. But when you pick him up, to be a little bit mindful⁠—I get left and right flipped psychically as well as in real life, so it's possible it's the right side, but it really feels like the left to me.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: So I would just be really careful, as you scoop him up, to scoop instead of grab from his feet kind of thing.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: Does that make sense?

Guest: Yeah.

Jessica: Because when you grab from his feet, it's more of a pressure on his tiny little legs.

Guest: Yeah, his little feets.

Jessica: His little feets, which are connected to his hips.

Guest: Does it hurt him to jump around the cage? I have levels for him, but there's one level that is a jump. And is there anything besides the isolation at the bottom that could be easier for him to get around?

Jessica: Sometimes he really likes it. A lot of times, he doesn't, is what it looks like. Does he use the jump every day?

Guest: Yeah. I guess so.

Jessica: He does? Okay⁠—

Guest: Yeah.

Jessica: ⁠—because he is not that interested in it. I think his primary interest is the first two floors⁠—

Guest: It is.

Jessica: ⁠—because it's the snuggly spots.

Guest: And the food.

Jessica: Okay. That makes sense. That makes perfect sense.

Guest: He's snugging right now.

Jessica: I'm not surprised. He's a snugger. So I think there might come a time where you might want to have⁠—I don't know if he would use a little ladder between the things so he doesn't have to jump. But it's not the biggest priority for him because it's not like he's interested in perching and looking out over the world.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: Does he do⁠—

Guest: He does have those ramps. When we first got the cage, it was new; it was a little slippery. So I tried to rough them up for him. He seems good on it now. But he's very choosy with when⁠—sometimes he naps on the top. He did a lot when he was younger, but now he's kind of the first three levels. There's five. So he does tend to like the bottom more. Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. He does. And if you were to expand and give him a bigger cage, you would want to go wide instead of high.

Guest: Yeah. It's tough with space. I just upgraded him to wider. I wish I could⁠—yes. I agree.

Jessica: Yeah. It's not exactly that he's a nesting guy. He doesn't exactly nest, but he nests. It's more like he snuggles like a person does instead of nesting like a rat, right?

Guest: Yeah. When he comes out of the cage, he'll hop on my lap. He sits on my leg. He likes me to pet him. You may have seen rats have the hammocky things before.

Jessica: Yeah.

Guest: He doesn't really prefer those, but yeah. He likes that same type of vibe. But when he's out of the cage, he would prefer to be in my lap and nobody else around, you know?

Jessica: Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. And listen. Overall, he's a very happy guy. But also, his personality type is a little crotchety, which I'm a big fan of.

Guest: Oh, he is. That's why I was so thrilled to have this reading today. I was saying to my husband⁠—I was like, "I feel like he might even have an accent. I don't even know." But I know his personality, and everything you're saying is correct. Yes.

Jessica: Yeah. He's a crotchety guy. And he feels like, "Those stupid dogs know they're stupid. You know they're stupid." He's just like, "The man-child knows he's a man-child. It's okay." He doesn't feel any kind of remorse about any of those things. He's just like, "Everybody knows who they are."

Guest: Yeah. And so does he.

Jessica: Yeah. And so does he. And as far as he's concerned, the two of you have always been good. He has seen you do some⁠—

Guest: I know.

Jessica: He was going to say "some really stupid things." That's not what he meant emotionally, but he said stupid things because⁠—

Guest: He's been with me through the thick and thin.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. He's seen you do really self-destructive things where you're just like, "This isn't what I want as I'm doing it. This isn't what I want after it happened." And he still preferred it when it was just the two of you, you know?

Guest: Of course.

Jessica: Even though that was rough times.

Guest: Yeah.

Jessica: Did you ever put a hat on him?

Guest: Many years ago, we did the⁠—I would get the guinea pig Halloween costumes. And I'm going to have to find it and email to you [crosstalk]⁠.

Jessica: Please do.

Guest: There's this pumpkin costume he's in, and he looks so pissed off. He's like⁠—he has the face, and he's all pumpkined out, and he⁠—yes. Once upon a time. Once upon a time.

Jessica: Well, he remembers. And I'm glad⁠—

Guest: Of course he does. That was like eight years ago. He's so funny.

Jessica: I'm glad that you know never to do it again. He feels like you could do it at any time. He feels like you're a live wire, and he sometimes just watches you being like⁠—he remembers the costumes, and he's like, "As long as you don't do that again." He did not like the costumes.

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States across the U.S. have advanced a record number of bills attacking Transgender rights and threatening the health and safety of Trans people and their families. Whether you're Trans and looking for support or an ally wanting to help, here are three organizations to know about. There's MTUG, or Metro Trans Umbrella Group, serving Trans people directly in the St. Louis area; Transgender Education Network of Texas, which is an advocacy and resource group; and lastly, A Place for Marsha, which facilitates safe housing for Trans individuals escaping transphobic states. Check out these resources, signal boost, and support them however you can.

School boards and lawmakers around the country are banning and challenging books at a pace not seen since the 1980s. The American Library Association tracked 729 challenges to library, school, and university materials and services in 2021. And librarians have even been threatened with criminal charges and jail time in some places in this country for lending out challenged books. You can contact your representatives about this issue by emailing, calling, or tweeting at them. And above all else, buy banned and challenged books. Support the important work of authors who are being banned or challenged, and in the process, support independent bookstores. My favorite bookstore, Marcus Books, is the oldest independent Black-owned bookstore in the country and has a banned and challenged book list on their website. You can go to marcusbooks.com to see this list and to shop, or visit whatever independent bookstore that you love. Support banned and challenged books and authors today.

Jessica: Okay. We're back to music for some reason. But he would prefer, instead of the radio, if you had music just playing on loop. He doesn't love voices. He likes your voice, but he doesn't love the ads.

Guest: Commercials.

Jessica: It's the commercials. Exactly. Do you have an old-school record player that just keeps on resetting itself? Do you know about those record players?

Guest: I do. Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. I feel like⁠—I mean, I don't know if you want to do that, but you could do that. Just leave a record on all night⁠—again, volume low. He kind of prefers that. His life isn't ruined by the radio or anything. He's just, as we're talking, recognizing that he can tell me all of his grievances.

Guest: Yeah. Please. Let it out, boy.

Jessica: He's like, "Oh, remember that costume?" He keeps on showing me a hat. You must have put something on his head, and that was the thing that drove him the most nuts.

Guest: It was a pumpkin topper, I believe. Yeah. It was really from a pumpkin.

Jessica: It was really stupid. That's adorable. He doesn't like things coming at his little face.

Guest: Poor guy.

Jessica: I know. I know.

Guest: Life's so hard.

Jessica: He has really different vision than we do. His eyes see things so differently than we do.

Guest: They're huge, and there are⁠—there's a word for it. It's not nocturnal, but it's dusk and dawn. So he's like⁠—at night. You know? He can see pretty well in the dark if I'm not⁠—you know, I think I'm pretty sure of that.

Jessica: That makes sense because the way I'm seeing it is it's like when we see things, we're seeing what's in front of us. But he's seeing with a lot more of his periphery, like all-over periphery. I don't know how else to describe it.

Guest: His eyes are kind of on the side of his head, and sometimes he'll sit at the cage and put his little paws on the bars and stare at me like this with a full eye. And I'm like, "Okay. You're staring into my soul. I know you want to come out. Okay, buddy."

Jessica: Oh my God. That's adorable.

Guest: It's so cute.

Jessica: And also, it makes sense why he's been showing me⁠—this is the only way I can describe it. It's like my fingers are grabbing my eyes, almost. That's what it feels like to him. It's like things are coming at him in a⁠—he sees things more concave somehow. I don't know how else to describe it. But he's happy. He does like his food. He does like his cage, especially those bottom levels. He feels that everybody knows their place except for the man.

Guest: I really thought⁠—my husband's a Cancer. He's the sweetest little moon child. He deeply, deeply cares for our fur babies. And I would love to touch on that if you don't mind going into detail.

Jessica: Okay. Yeah. Sure. He calls him a man-child.

Guest: I could give you his name instead of keep calling him man-child because⁠—

Jessica: Yes. Yeah. Sorry. That's what⁠—

Guest: ⁠—[crosstalk] he's going to be like, "What the fuck?"

Jessica: What the fuck. Well, I mean, keep in mind this is a chinchilla's take. It's not⁠—

Guest: Yes. Yes. Oh yes.

Jessica: Okay. What's his first name?

Guest: Brian.

Jessica: Okay. Oh yeah. Brian's really nice, actually.

Guest: He's so sweet.

Jessica: That's not how chinchilla⁠—it's not how Agent Blaster sees him. Agent Blaster sees him as the only other person he's lived with, eh?

Guest: No, not true. So, when I was younger⁠—and again, things were a little rougher for me addiction/housing-wise. I've lived with a friend, my ex. The friend had a house full of people. My mother.

Jessica: Interesting.

Guest: That's what I mean. He's been everywhere with me. That's what I mean.

Jessica: It's interesting because he's just like, "No. This is the only one." I think it's because he moved into your life in this way⁠—

Guest: True.

Jessica: ⁠—where you were partners with this person.

Guest: That's the only one, then.

Jessica: Yeah. And he's also older than he ever was. You know what I mean? But he feels that this man⁠—sorry; that's how he sees him⁠—

Guest: No, I know. Go for it.

Jessica: ⁠—takes energy away from you taking care of him, Agent Blaster. So you take care of Brian, but Brian should go off and take care of himself. It's not like how he feels about the dogs at all.

Guest: Gotcha.

Jessica: But there's a little element of it, of like, "You should just go sit over there and let us do what we're doing over here."

Guest: I think that's how he is. And I'm just cracking up over here because⁠—I'm grinning ear to ear. It's just so funny because, of course, I know him by now. We've been together 11 years, me and the chinchilla. But wow. This is incredible. Oh my gosh. He's got such a little 'tude. I love that about him.

Jessica: He's got a 'tude. He's got a very serious 'tude. And it's not like he has a problem with Brian. But he feels Brian came in⁠—just like the dogs. Brian came in, was all of a sudden supposed to be part of the family. Agent was all of a sudden supposed to accept the dogs and the Brian. And they never earned his trust. They never went out of their way. All they did was come at his face. And so he remembers. Like the pumpkin hat, he remembers.

Guest: He don't forget.

Jessica: He doesn't forget at all.

Guest: Jeez Louise.

Jessica: And so, if Brian were to spend time alone in the room talking to him, developing a couple hours⁠—you know how you did it in early years with him⁠—spending time just alone. Maybe you're talking. Maybe you're snuggling a little bit. But it's just letting Chin get used to him. Then⁠—

Guest: Yeah. He crawls all over me. We're comfortable in that way. And Brian will give him attention and pet him, but it's more of a, "Hey, Chin. Here's your stuff. See you later."

Jessica: Brian treats him like a cat or a dog, and he's not a cat or dog.

Guest: He's not.

Jessica: He feels he's a superior being.

Guest: He is.

Jessica: He feels that he is much more intelligent, and he feels that he deserves somebody to try to get to know him, which you and your mother⁠—there was one other woman⁠—have done. This woman was a long time ago. This was, I think⁠—I don't know. Was it your woman, or was it before you?

Guest: So my best friend/soul sister, Leena, is who I lived with. And she's since passed. But they were very close.

Jessica: I'm sorry.

Guest: It's okay. It's always a journey. Yeah. She loves chinchillas, too. She had one, and yeah.

Jessica: That's what it is.

Guest: We were roommates.

Jessica: So it was the three of you have actually bothered to get to know him. And Brian hasn't done that, and Agent Blaster thinks that's stupid. It's not like he's speaking English, but I can't find any other shape of a word that feels as right to him. It's not like I walk around calling people stupid, but he does. He does.

Guest: Oh, Jessica, I already knew this is how⁠—yes. That's fine.

Jessica: Okay.

Guest: He's very, very sassy, and I already knew that coming into this. I'm glad I have the confirmation, but this is him. This is him.

Jessica: This is his sweet little man. Not to get all in your business, but he feels like there are things that this Brian man does that really piss you off, and he does them over and over and over and over again. And you've given him instruction, and he doesn't take the instruction. And Chin is just like, "The fuck?" Right?

Guest: Yeah. It's true.

Jessica: He's just like, "You've given this man a very simple set of instructions." And this is why he doesn't like the dogs, because you can't tell them anything. And he feels like Brian is not always like that, but there are certain things, and they really bother you and they really bother Chin, like a lot. And that's what it is.

Guest: It's four things. I'm in the happiest relationship of my life, but I'm a zero-degree Aries Moon and, you know, Aries Mars. So there are things, and it's communication. And we've come down to it the last few years, honestly. We've been getting better at it. I've been getting better at being able to say how I feel rather than just react. And now we're getting to this point where I'm like, "I've made it clear. Here is the printed-out paper. Please sign here."

Jessica: Yep. Yep.

Guest: Yeah. That's basically it. And I just think it's hilarious that he sees it/he knows it, because we're really connected on that level, me and Chin.

Jessica: Yes.

Guest: So, when it comes down to it, I know when he needs something; he knows when I need something. That's why I got him a new cage, because I felt like he needed more room. And I was like⁠—

Jessica: Yes. You were right.

Guest: ⁠—"It's time to upgrade." You know what I mean?

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. And he feels that there's this thing that Brian does⁠—and I don't know what it is. He's not showing me what it is in a clear way, but it's like a physical thing that he does, and you have a physical reaction to it every time. I don't know if it's like he doesn't close the door or⁠—you know? It's something in the house that he does, and it pisses you off. And it may be that it's like Brian says something to you, and then you get pissed off, but Chin is perceiving it differently. But it looks like something physical.

His tolerance for stupidity is so low. And I feel like it might just be that you're like, "Brian, why won't you fucking do this? or, "Why won't you fucking listen to me?" And that's how you feel, so you're clearly communicating it to Chin, and Chin is like, "That's right. He's a fucking idiot. We know what's up." And so there's an agreement between the two of you that is what it is what it is. You know what I mean?

Guest: Yep. Yep.

Jessica: And so, if Brian wants to get closer, which Agent Blaster doesn't think he does⁠—but if he does, that's the way. He's just got to chill with him. You can be in the room, although if you're in the room, he's going to want to be with you and not with Brian.

Guest: Right.

Jessica: He actually⁠—I feel like this whole time, I've wanted to call him Mr. Blaster because he⁠—

Guest: I call him Mr. Bean.

Jessica: Okay. That works.

Guest: [crosstalk] the Mr. part. Yeah.

Jessica: He's a man, so I want to call him Mr. Blaster, right? He feels that it would be cool if Brian could just do what you said, like if he would just do what you said more, then he⁠—

Guest: I think that would be super cool, too.

Jessica: I know. This is why I was like, "Brian is going to think this is just me⁠"⁠—I don't know what he's going to think, but the truth of the matter is⁠—

Guest: No, he understands.

Jessica: ⁠—that's just how Agent sees it because that's his whole thing. He's just like, "I get you. What's this guy here for? He's going to be a disruption. What do we need him for?" He doesn't get all⁠—he does, but he doesn't care about all the good stuff.

Guest: He doesn't care. Yeah. Exactly.

Jessica: He doesn't care because it doesn't affect him. For you to be happy and leave the house doesn't make him happy. He just doesn't want you to be pissed off, you know?

Guest: Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica: He doesn't want you to be riled up, and this man riles you up.

Guest: Yeah. Over the last few years, especially when we were younger, we both kind of helped each other get out of certain things, like alcohol and things like that, when we were younger. I also⁠—this is like premedication for my bipolar disorder. So I definitely feel more at a level place. My husband's just getting out of his Saturn Return, which was in his first house. I'm going in. We're in a completely different place of understanding ourselves and each other. And just this very recently, I'm really seeing these things blossom, and I'm really happy for us.

But there's still that core of⁠—okay. So here's the thing. My main irritation is the redundant questions. I'll say something, and then he asks it back to me as a question. And I'm like, "I just freaking said that." And that is probably [crosstalk]⁠—

Jessica: It makes so much sense why he's like, "This is a man-child," because you're like, "I have to explain it again?" This is the thing. Animal communication is all about pictures. So, on some level, you're like, "Are you a child? Do I have to explain this to you again?" You must be, on some level, thinking that, because he has this very fixed idea that that's a man-child that you have to take care of.

One of the things that I've really experienced through animal communication is that you have these beautiful, tiny narks who don't lie. You know?

Guest: No, they don't. Yeah.

Jessica: They don't lie. They don't lie, and you're not lying to them. It's very hard to lie with pictures. It's hard to lie when you're telepathically projecting out what you feel.

Guest: Telepathic. Yep.

Jessica: Yeah. So it's a combination of he knows what's up, and also, his attitude is like, "These dogs are fucking idiots. This guy needs constant repeating. We're the only ones who know what's happening in this house."

Guest: That's right, Chin. That's right⁠—although I do want to say for the record it is a team effort over here, but I definitely understand our dynamic.

Jessica: Yes. I mean, this is the thing. You can't expect a chinchilla to have the perspective of a human or a dog⁠—

Guest: Oh, no.

Jessica: ⁠—or a whatever. And this is not to cast dispersions on Brian.

Guest: [crosstalk]

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah.

Guest: Yeah. Yeah. And Brian already knows he's like this. Please, you know?

Jessica: Okay. Good.

Guest: It's been eight years.

Jessica: Right. They've met each other. And I think Brian deeply cares about animals, but he doesn't have for Agent Blaster what he has for dogs.

Guest: Yeah. I can see that.

Jessica: He doesn't have that deep connection, and it makes sense because your dogs are just⁠ like—they've never met a stranger, right? Everyone could be their best friend, whereas your chinchilla man is really like, "You're all fucking strangers to me. I could take you or leave you. Prove yourself." And that's just not the kind of person that Brian loves in the same way that you do. You love a coconut, hard on the outside, sweet on the inside. You're a fan of⁠—

Guest: Sure do.

Jessica: ⁠—weirdos. But Brian⁠—it's not his exact kind of weirdo.

Guest: Yeah.

Jessica: And⁠—oh, wait. Agent Blaster has one more thing to say. That pointy-nosed dog, the one always getting in his way⁠—he's just like, "I feel like this dog could use more toys to chew on because he uses his mouth too much." Does he make noises, or she?

Guest: She barks a lot, and it's actually pretty sad. The situation I got her from was unknown beforehand, but she was found running around Philly, and she doesn't know how to play. So I have all these toys everywhere, all over my house for my dogs. And she will "monkey see, monkey do" sticks out back because my other two like to chew them. And I keep it limited anyways because I'm not a big fan of that. But once I see her playing with something, I'm like, "Okay. Enjoy the stick for five minutes." She's a little chihuahua, okay? So let's be real. The wind could blow the other way, and she's barking. And it annoys all of us, so I'm not surprised with his big, old ears.

Jessica: Okay. So Mr. Blaster basically⁠—

Guest: Mr. Blaster. I'm obsessed. I love it.

Jessica: He feels that she could use⁠—and listen. This is a chinchilla, so this is not like a psychic reading.

Guest: I know.

Jessica: But this is what he feels. She could use a big, white, bone-shaped toy that's soft.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: Basically, he's like, "Put that in her mouth and make her stop." So I don't know if he's seen another dog at some point in his life have that kind of a toy, and it really shut them up and kept them⁠—

Guest: Yeah. My other dogs love it. And my other dogs really aren't barky. I've had the one since she was a baby, and then the other one was the hoarding. But they're pretty just low key.

Jessica: Okay. So let me take a moment to talk to her, and we'll wrap up in a minute here. But what's pointy nose⁠—what's her name?

Guest: Tater Tot.

Jessica: Oh, stop it. Okay.

Guest: I have food themes⁠—food themes, everybody except for him.

Jessica: Well, I mean, Agent Blaster is a perfect name, and I want to hug who⁠—

Guest: How could I change that?

Jessica: No, you couldn't. What do you call her again?

Guest: Oh, we call her Tot.

Jessica: Okay. So she was actually abused.

Guest: This is actually really interesting. I just want to say thank you in advance because this has been a big question mark for me, because there is behaviors. And in March, I've had her for a year. So thank you so much for touching on this.

Jessica: Yeah. Absolutely.

Guest: I am curious.

Jessica: Yeah. I think she was smacked in her butt a lot. Does she kind of flinch away if you⁠—

Guest: She is very flinchy, unfortunately.

Jessica: Yeah. She's⁠—

Guest: And we don't treat them⁠—we don't. You know?

Jessica: No. It was before you. She was smacked on her butt as a way to get her to shut up, and it just made her bark more. It had the opposite effect. Hold on. She's really scared of everything.

Guest: She's very anxious.

Jessica: She's very anxious.

Guest: I'm her person. I ground her. It was almost like an imprinting when we met, you know?

Jessica: I see that.

Guest: But her confidence has grown tremendously over the last year, and she is so playful with my other dogs. She goes to daycare. But she's very timid. She's also very small.

Jessica: Have you ever tried Rescue Remedy for dogs?

Guest: No. What's that?

Jessica: Okay. So Rescue Remedy is fucking amazing. It's just like a homeopathic remedy for humans, but they have⁠—and basically, you can either have candy or tincture. It's just herbs, and you stick it under your tongue and it makes your anxiety go away. It is amazing. But they have Rescue Remedy for dogs, and it's specifically⁠—the human kind, it's like they put it in an alcohol base. But the dog kind, I think they put it in a glycerin base.

I live in California, so you can get this stuff at the CVS or the Walgreens or whatever. It's in the corner store, but it's not hard to find online. You might want to try that for her anxiety because her barking is a habit, but her barking is also just like, "Wait. What? Wait. What? Wait. What?  Wait. What?" You know what I mean? That's what she's basically doing. She's just constantly trying to warn herself and everyone else that something could be happening, and she's not sure what it is.

Guest: It's interesting, too, because a dog could bark⁠—my neighbor has dogs. She doesn't care. But if the door closes or something, then she's like, "Wait. What was that?" A noise noise⁠—

Jessica: It's humans.

Guest: Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica: It's humans that scare her. Humans, sometimes cars.

Guest: Did she run away?

Jessica: Run away or abandoned⁠—it's hard for me to tell which one it is.

Guest: That's kind of what we were thinking initially was the abandoned, because there was just so many indications that she wasn't cared for.

Jessica: She wasn't cared for. And so, technically, I guess she left, but it's not like she was enclosed and protected. She didn't escape; she left. There's a difference.

Guest: She's the kind of person where I'd be like, I could see her taking off if she had a chance and she hated it. But I feel like it was really meant to be when we met. So she's very happy here.

Jessica: She's very happy. She's very happy. She does have anxiety. She doesn't know how to only bark when something serious is happening because she can't gauge what's serious, and everything seems serious. And so she's like, "Shit. Did I miss it? Is it bad? Was it bad?" She just has a really hard time. Okay. So I just talked to her for a second and just showed her it would be great if she could just bark when people come to the door and let you know when people come to the door, but otherwise to experiment with what would happen if she didn't bark unless somebody came to the door. I don't know that this will help, but⁠—

Guest: Could I ask one more question⁠ out of her fear-based thinking?

Jessica: Yes. Yeah.

Guest: When I first got her, she didn't bite people when she first met them. And now it's become a very recent thing, ever since one visit with my mother-in-law⁠—God bless her. She nipped at her when she came through the door. Now, there was a lot of anticipation, carrying the bags up the stairs. It wasn't immediate. But then she did it a second and a third time. One person she had already met before. And I just don't know where this⁠—obviously, it's fear.

Jessica: Yes.

Guest: I just don't know why she's so afraid of new people now. [crosstalk]

Jessica: They're all big people. She's showing me that they're all big people. Is that right?

Guest: She's small. She's six pounds, so yeah.

Jessica: What she's showing me is that those⁠—so, first of all, her anxiety is off the charts. She feels that those people are all going to fall over. Now, this is the thing that dogs will often say to me about people, this thing about falling over. They're not steady, these people. And so she's like, "Anything could happen around them." And so she's just like, "Look alive. Look alive," is kind of her⁠—she's not trying to bite them or hold them, even. It's just⁠—it is literally a nip to be like, "Get in your body."

Guest: Oh, she hurts people. She's got big old teeth.

Jessica: Oh. Okay.

Guest: So, if there's anything that I can make her feel safer⁠—

Jessica: Hold on. Let me⁠—

Guest: ⁠—give her a slower introduction…

Jessica: Definitely a slower introduction, like putting her in the bedroom while people are entering the house, and then once everyone's settled, letting her out and kind of walk around and sniff people would probably help. Hold on for just one second, and let me just tell her how serious it is that she shouldn't bite. It's biting, right?

Guest: That's it. That's it.

Jessica: Okay.

Guest: She's good otherwise.

Jessica: Okay. Hold on. She already knew that it was bad and that it really upset everyone.

Guest: Yeah. Poor girl.

Jessica: I told her how serious it was that she stop. And again, it's like tending to the anxiety will help.

Guest: I tried CBD for her before, and maybe it made a difference to her, but I'll try to [crosstalk]⁠—

Jessica: It didn't seem like it really did much for her.

Guest: Yeah. I don't think so, because she hates fireworks and stuff, too. So those are the days where I really have to prepare, which is fine. I've had dogs like that before. I just want her to feel safe, so I bring out her crate. We do a sedative. You know?

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense.

Guest: So try my best.

Jessica: I would get ye to Google, and obviously check with your vet first if you have any questions at all. Don't take medical advice from me. But google "Rescue Remedy for dogs," and see what the algorithm recommends in addition. And then you can call your vet and be like, "I'm considering one of these three products. Do you have any red flags about any of them?" or whatever. See what your vet says. I found out about Rescue Remedy for dogs from a vet, but⁠—

Guest: Love it.

Jessica: She really likes the other dogs. She likes you. She likes Brian. She's terrified of Agent Blaster, but don't change that. That's good.

Guest: Yes. He likes it that way.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. It's the only way for it to be. He feels there's something wrong with the old dog.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: She's got a health issue going on. Do you know what it is?

Guest: No, I don't.

Jessica: How old is she?

Guest: Presumed 12. She⁠—yeah, about 12, we believe. She's a little poodle. My aunt is my vet, though, so I have great access to vet care.

Jessica: Oh. Great. That's awesome. I would definitely get her a little checked out. It feels like it's her tummy, but I don't know if that means intestines, digestive system, or if it's other organs in that tummy area. But Tater Tot is just pointing me towards her tummy as being⁠—something's a little wrong in there. It is possible that she has indigestion in this exact moment, and that's what she's showing me.

Guest: Okay. How amazing that they can⁠—

Jessica: But it's also possible there's something else.

Guest: Thank you so much.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah.

Guest: Yeah. I'm happy to⁠—you know, that's always a worry with animals that get older, which is why I asked about Chin as well. But I've had animals my whole life, and I definitely am always concerned about my elders.

Jessica: Of course. I mean⁠—

Guest: I'll be happy to get her a little checkup, and it will be easy-peasy. My mom calls it a senior exam. She works there as well.

Jessica: That's cute. That's cute.

Guest: And she's always like, "It's time for Chin and Ravi to come in for a senior exam."

Jessica: That's "adorsable."

Guest: So she calls them my seniors.

Jessica: So there's one thing I'll just bookmark. I am aware that me telling Tater Tot how bad it is to be biting⁠—that it could⁠—she's not having an anxiety response right now, but it could make her anxious when she ruminates on it. But I don't know.

Guest: Yes. Okay.

Jessica: So, if anything gets even a little bit worse, contact me. Just DM me directly on Patreon.

Guest: Okay. And I know she's a dog, and I don't expect her to be like, "Oh, well, Jessica told you [crosstalk]."

Jessica: Right.

Guest: I want to still support her in every single way. I already knew about the slower introduction, so I'm still going to aid her in this process. But I'm glad that we could at least communicate that a bit, and she knows that I understand that it's not just her being an asshole.

Jessica: Yes. Yes. 100 percent.

Guest: That's why I want to address her fear, you know?

Jessica: Yes. Yeah, and her fear is a combination of past experiences, her breed⁠—you know?

Guest: Yeah. Trust me. She'll tremble when she's happy.

Jessica: Yeah. I mean, she's⁠—her tiny little heart. And also, her read on things is a little off. Her interpretation of situations when she's in a state of anxiety is not super reliable. So that's what we've got there.

Guest: Yeah. Actually, I knew that already. I gotta reel her in sometimes. How old would you say she is? And I don't mean to keep you⁠—

Jessica: No, no, no. It's okay.

Guest: ⁠—but I think she's about four. Three?

Jessica: I would have thought she was older.

Guest: Some people say that. My mom said that at the vet. She is so playful, it's almost hard to believe. Yeah.

Jessica: I know. I think she'll be this playful for as long as she can. You have a five-year-old and an eight-year-old? Is that right?

Guest: 5, 12, and maybe she's 8, because I know for sure the one's 5. I know for sure the one's 12 because she was born in, like, 2012. She's 11, 12.

Jessica: My first instinct when I saw her was eight, and then I was like, or five.

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: But I really can't tell. She doesn't know how old she is.

Guest: No problem.

Jessica: I would be surprised if she was only three, though, because you've already had her for a year.

Guest: Yeah. And we did her dental a few times, and her teeth indicate she's about four. But the thing is it's not a super reliable method for many reasons.

Jessica: No, it's not. It's not. It's not. I mean, every vet has always been wrong about my animals.

Guest: So true.

Jessica: Age according to my animals. She's older.

Guest: That's just very helpful. Thank you.

Jessica: She's a little older. So that means her personality is her personality. It's not like she's a puppy and she'll grow out of it. No.

Guest: Just like [crosstalk] over there.

Jessica: Okay. Exactly. He's growing into his personality. You know what I mean?

Guest: It's funny because, over the years⁠—he used to be so much more spunky, and he would run up to me and be like, "You're mine," and then run away. And now, he's just like, "What's up? I'm here. I'm hopping around." And you can definitely see how he's just older and more mature and chilling.

Jessica: Totally. Okay. So I know we have to wrap up, but can I see him? Can you point the phone at him or something?

Guest: Yeah. Yes. Absolutely.

Jessica: OMG.

Guest: That's who you're talking to.

Jessica: Hi, little man.

Guest: He's a little sleepy right now.

Jessica: Oh my God. He's so cute and chubby.

Guest: Let me try and hold⁠—oh, he's showing off for you.

Jessica: Oh my God. Hi. Hi.

Guest: He likes to be itched right about there.

Jessica: Right in that spot he showed me. Oh my God.

Guest: I don't pet him through the cage, usually. But for right now⁠—

Jessica: Right. In this moment.

Guest: ⁠—he understands.

Jessica: Oh, that's sweet.

Guest: But I'm happy to send you that pumpkin picture, too, because that's a cute one.

Jessica: Oh my God. I would really like to see it⁠—

Guest: I hope I can find it.

Jessica: ⁠—because the way he's showing me the hat, I thought it was a top hat because he felt like it was a hat that had a lot of weight going up.

Guest: Probably, because it's like a big old pumpkin stem or something.

Jessica: So stupid.

Guest: You know, it straps underneath there. It's so stupid, but it was so cute. But it was also almost ten years ago.

Jessica: Right, but it's like he's never going to forget that fucking hat.

Guest: Of course he's not.

Jessica: Yeah.

Guest: He's definitely⁠—you know?

Jessica: The indignity.

Guest: I just think that's hilarious.

Jessica: If ever he was forced to wear a hat, he would want a reporter's hat. Do you know what I mean?

Guest: Okay.

Jessica: Like a 1950s reporter's hat. He's a man.

Guest: A little cabbie.

Jessica: Yeah, like a Mr. Blaster⁠—like he's⁠—he doesn't want a⁠—

Guest: [crosstalk]

Jessica: Yeah. He's so fucking cute.

Guest: I love him. And I love this. Thank you.

Jessica: Oh my God. It is so my pleasure.