Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Hey there, Ghosties. In this episode, I'll be doing a live reading with one of my beloved listeners. Every Wednesday, listen in on an intimate conversation and get inspired as we explore perspectives on life, love, and the human condition. Along the way, we'll uncover valuable insights and practical lessons that you can apply to your own life. And don't forget to hit Subscribe or, at the very least, mark your calendars because every Sunday I'll be back with your weekly horoscope. And that you don't want to miss. Let's get started.

Jessica: Jennifer, I am very excited because you have a whole family of animals for me to talk to.

Jennifer: I do.

Jessica: Tell me who's in the family, what's going on, how I can be of help.

Jennifer: So our most recent addition is Tony. Tony the dragon came to us in the summer of 2019. We had adopted another dragon, Talia, my daughter's classroom pet. And Talia had gotten out. She came to us in the summer of 2018. And so she got out. I always take them outside. I take my dragons out to get some sun⁠—

Jessica: Nice.

Jennifer: ⁠—because they need sunlight.

Jessica: Yes.

Jennifer: They need all of that for their bones. And I left her house there and came in and did something, and she scurried off. And usually, they go to the same spot. Yeah, he's, like, tripping right now. He's like, "Lady, take me back."

Jessica: Yeah. He wants to go back. I can feel he's a little anxious. Yeah.

Jennifer: He doesn't like to talk about Talia, we think. He's still mourning her. So Talia got out. She was lost for about six weeks. We couldn't find her. I was devastated. I felt like the most horrible pet mom ever. We put an ad out for a lost dragon in the neighborhood, and next door, somebody said, "Oh, I think I found your dragon," about a mile away. There's no way she could have gotten that far. But we said, "We'll go see it. We'll go see the dragon and see if it's ours."

So we go. We see him. He's this big, giant⁠—you know, you've seen him. He's twice as big as Talia was. And they didn't have space for him, and they said, "Well, do you want to take him?" Coincidently, I had just bought a brand-new tank, so I had two tanks. So I bought a big three-foot tank for Talia and decorated it with desert scene, and it's super set up, right? Rocks, caves, all the things. And I didn't have a dragon to put in it, so I said, "Okay. And if we find Talia and she comes home, she can be in her old tank, and then we'll get her the new one once we're reacclimated." So Tony came to live with us.

Jessica: Tony. And wait. Tony and Talia met, obviously, because you said⁠—

Jennifer: Tony and Talia met. So, about six weeks after Talia disappeared, she was found two houses from me, from my backyard, so just two houses down on somebody's porch. And we're in a tract home, and all the houses look the same. They were all built in 1950s, so they have the same exact front porch setup that we do. And so she's just there hanging out. The neighbor called us, and we went and got her. And she was a little weak, a lot weak, and she had been picked at, I think by a chicken because the neighbor has chickens. So her eye was injured.

And so we scooped her up. We got her under the heat lamp, bathed her, did all the things, took her to the vet. And they said, "Yeah, she's fine. She's got this eye thing. Put some ointment on it, and she should be fine." So, for that fall and spring, she and Tony were sitting apart from each other, and they would see each other and they would do the mating dance. So Tony would bop up and down with his black beard, and Talia would be in her tank, and she would get all pink in her beard, and she would wave her arm up like this.

Jessica: Wow.

Jennifer: It was like they were at the club. She was like, "Hey," and Tony was like, "Hey, girl."

Jessica: Did they mate?

Jennifer: They did not mate. I was not ready to have baby dragons. That's a lot of responsibility, and I'm already like, I got two kids, too. So uh-uh.

Jessica: Human children on top of animal children.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: Okay. So I get the sense that she left because something was wrong, because she wasn't feeling quite right, that there was some underlying physical issue going on with her, medical issue.

Jennifer: Yes. I believe that Talia had bone syndrome. So the home that she had come from⁠—they had her in a glass tank under the sun. They didn't have the heat lamp. They just did not have the proper setup for her. And she was the class pet also, so she didn't have a lot of interaction. She was just really sad. And I think when she came here, she found some happiness, but yeah. I think when she and Tony were looking at each other, I feel like that's when she was the most happy.

Jessica: Yeah.

Jennifer: So poor Talia. I'm beside myself because when we had the heat wave in 2020, I think⁠—yeah, it was pandemic year⁠—again, I took her outside, and I put her in the enclosure because we had a little doggy cage that we put them in. And she was out there. I'm like, "Okay. She'll be fine." And I looked out, and it was 20 minutes, and she was fine. And I went in. I'm like, "Okay. I'm going to take a shower, and then I'll come back out." It was kind of shady. And it was what we did. We would take them out. It's what we do.

Jessica: Yeah. I don't think you did anything wrong. I mean, obviously, you can "should've, would've, could've" yourself, but it looks like if it wasn't that day, she just kind of would have wandered because she didn't feel right, and that was her instinct to do because she was having health problems that were larger. So for whatever that's worth. And you also have dogs? Cats?

Jennifer: Cats. Cats.

Jessica: Cats. And do the cats and Tony get along?

Jennifer: Tony and Jack⁠—so Jack is my tuxedo cat. He's been looking at me sideways lately, by the way. He's probably got something to say. I let all the pets know that we were going to have this reading and if they had something they wanted me to know, that now is their chance.

Jessica: Great.

Jennifer: So Jack⁠—he and Jack get on well. Jack goes outside and lays with him. They sit outside together. Jack will bat at him. I don't know if Tony likes that or not, but Jack seems to love it because he rolls around when Tony's out there.

Jessica: That's cute.

Jennifer: It's really cute. So there's Jack, and then there's Shadow, the OG Shadow, baby kitty. She is the kitten that came to us⁠—she was the runt of the litter. She got lost, left behind. My aunt found her at her home and called me because I had wanted a cat. My now husband and I had just moved in together, and I was like, "Oh, a little black cat with green eyes would just be perfect right now." And what happens two days later? I get the call and a little black cat.

Jessica: Nice. Nice. And you've had Shadow for how long?

Jennifer: Shadow will be⁠—we've been together for 16 years, so 15 years.

Jessica: Okay. Long time. So Shadow is a senior citizen.

Jennifer: She is a senior kitty, and she's struggling right now.

Jessica: Yeah.

Jennifer: We're going through some stuff with her, and I don't even know: give her the medication; don't give her the medication.

Jessica: Mm-hmm. So I'm assuming you have a bunch of questions for me. It sounds like one of them is about Shadow and medication.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: What else do you want to make sure I speak to, just so that I can, when I tap in with them, kind of go in the right direction?

Jennifer: I really want to know about Tony and if he is⁠—because I've been considering rehoming him to a place where he can get better⁠—just more interaction. I'm going to be going back to work soon, and when I'm here during the day, even though I'm not talking to him or playing with him or doing stuff with him, I take him out. I take him outside. I hold him. When my older daughters come over, they hang out with him. So I think he gets enough attention. The little kids⁠—I have a 14- and 11-year-old. They're like, "Whatever." They're very detached from him.

Yeah. So I'm curious to know if Tony is happy here and if⁠—

Jessica: Do you know where you would rehome him? Do you have an idea about that?

Jennifer: I was looking at [redacted]. They've got a reptile room, and they've got different animals. They give class tours. They've got a whole attendant for them, so⁠—or to somebody who I would trust to take care of him, but I would have to seriously tune in to them and make sure that it's a good fit for him.

Jessica: So, right away, I will tell you that no animal I've ever met except for a human animal thinks about the past and thinks about the future in the particular way that one would need to in order to fully understand the question and determine the right answer. As I asked you to show me [redacted], he has a strong no. He does not want to be on display. He does not want to be on display at all.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: And he doesn't like little kids.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: So I don't know. You must have had little kids in your house. But he's not a huge fan.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: He does prefer people that are more like you, that are adult, that don't fuss over him too much but give him material connection. He's showing me heat, so he likes it that he's on you because it's warm. Does he want to be rehomed? Unless an animal is profoundly miserable, I don't think they would ever choose a vast unknown, or I haven't yet experienced that.

If you found a human person, he does prefer women. I don't know if that's just⁠—he gets the most attention from women. But if you could find an individual who was super into giving him attention⁠—and he really does like the lights. I mean, he likes going outside as well, but he really likes those heat lamps a lot. It's just a different kind of heat that he's getting from those lamps. So he does want somebody who has a setup, which is why you'd think that [redacted] would be a good idea because they do have a setup. But there's too much activity. He's not really that into it.

Jennifer: If he went somewhere, really, truly⁠—I might cry because I cry.

Jessica: I'm sorry. Yeah. That's okay.

Jennifer: Pisces Moon. Pisces Moon. I cry. I cry for everything. Becca, my daughter Becca⁠—

Jessica: Might take him?

Jennifer: I think she would. I think that she's considered it when I've talked about rehoming him. [crosstalk]

Jessica: Becca has roommates?

Jennifer: Becca has one roommate, but Becca has two rooms in the apartment.

Jessica: Here's the only concern about her, is that her life feels like somebody in their early 20s who's just like, "I don't know." Is she in her early 20s?

Jennifer: No. She just turned 29.

Jessica: Okay. She's in her late 20s. So she's Saturn Returning. Okay, because she feels really like, "I don't know. I don't know." It feels like a big question mark. And while, technically⁠—I think three or four years from now, Becca would be the perfect parent for Tony, but I don't know if today Becca is the right person for Tony. You know what I'm saying, right?

Jennifer: Yeah. I know. Yes.

Jessica: Yeah. She's all over the place, and I think it would produce some anxiety for her to have that responsibility.

Jennifer: Yeah. That makes sense.

Jessica: But four-years-from-now her would. So that's annoying and useless information, but there it is.

Jennifer: It's not at all.

Jessica: Yeah. She's the right person but the wrong time.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: But I think a young person is not a bad idea. I think he's not upset by music. He's not upset by life happening around him. You know what I mean? He's not disturbed by that. He is disturbed by people coming at him and touching him head-first.

Jennifer: Okay. Good to know.

Jessica: Yeah. You do that sometimes, and he pulls back, right?

Jennifer: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jessica: It's not that he wants to sniff like a cat would. It's that he wants you to come from under, so to go to his chest or under his chin instead of his forehead, which I think is a human response to be like, "I'll go up top." But he gets overwhelmed by that, and little kids exclusively go up top is what he's showing me.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: He must have been around kids, like a bunch of kids.

Jennifer: My kids are not all up in him⁠—

Jessica: I wonder if it was⁠—

Jennifer: ⁠—so maybe his previous home.

Jessica: I was about to say it must be from another life he had because he just doesn't like how unpredictable they are. He has a very strong feeling about it. So, wherever you do rehome him, if you rehome him, he doesn't want to go with little kids.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: And I would say ten years old and younger is what he would consider to be a little kid. He keeps on showing the children's hands and how much he dislikes them.

Jennifer: Got it. Got it.

Jessica: Somebody's got strong opinions.

Jennifer: Oh, you know, it could also be when we have family over. I've got some five-year and six-year-olds⁠—

Jessica: That makes perfect sense.

Jennifer: ⁠—little girls that, when they come out, they want to see Tony and they want to touch him. And they're five and six girls. They're wonderful little creatures. They're loud and lots of energy.

Jessica: Yeah. And they're gentle, but they're unpredictable. He does not like unpredictable humans, which⁠—honestly, neither do I. So I respect him a lot. Now, when it comes to Jack swatting at him a little bit, he doesn't use his nails⁠—

Jennifer: No.

Jessica ⁠—in any way that Tony notices. He sometimes finds it annoying, sometimes finds it fun. It's totally fine is the answer.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: It's their relationship, which is very much like a sibling-style relationship. Jack is incredibly charmed by Tony.

Jennifer: Oh, good.

Jessica: Incredibly charmed.

Jennifer: Yes. Yes.

Jessica: Just thinks that Tony is⁠—how would I describe that feeling? I've never had that feeling that Jack has. Hold on. Jack. Jack. Jack or Jax?

Jennifer: Jack.

Jessica: Okay. Jack. I don't know why I'm putting a plural on his name.

Jennifer: Everybody does that.

Jessica: Really?

Jennifer: It's funny. Yes.

Jessica: That's weird. Jack's⁠—his mind is so interesting. He's a real⁠—and I mean this in the most positive way⁠—a real floop-a-doop. He's really silly and cute, and his thinking is just⁠—I feel like his thinking is what a lot of people associate with a cat, just silly and fun, and he is so happy. You're not trying to rehome this cat?

Jennifer: No. No.

Jessica: Okay. This cat⁠—it doesn't want to go anywhere. This cat is perfectly happy. Don't do anything. He would have a hard time⁠—he would have an adjustment period if Tony was to leave.

Jennifer: Oh.

Jessica: Yeah. So it doesn't mean, therefore, don't do it, because it might be in the best interest of⁠—how long do bearded dragons leave?

Jennifer: 18 to 20 years. We don't know how old Tony is. I think he's closer to, like, 12 years old.

Jessica: He was showing me 11.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: He was showing me around 10 or 11 is his guess⁠—

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: ⁠—because you've asked him so many times.

Jennifer: I have.

Jessica: Yeah.

Jennifer: I'm just very curious about Tony. No, Jack would never be rehomed. My husband speaks of Jack⁠—Jack has this look on his face like, "What's the meaning of life?"

Jessica: It's weird. He's perpetually in this state of seeing his first snowfall.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: He's just got this real wonderment about him, which is so authentic to his nature. He's like perpetual kitten, and Tony is not at all like that. But he sometimes really enjoys that about Jack, like a lot of enjoyment about that.

Jennifer: Good.

Jessica: Yeah. Okay. So, with Tony, though, the beautiful bearded dragon, is there anything else that you would like to check in with him about or anything else that would be helpful?

Jennifer: His bones. I see him moving slowly, and I'm worried about the health of his body.

Jessica: That's true. You're seeing it correctly.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: This is why he wants more of that heat lamp. You have a heat lamp for him, right?

Jennifer: Yes. Yes, and I put him under it all the time, but he scurries away from it. And when he comes out of his tank, I'll leave the doors open for him. I did this morning, and he hopped out, and he'll go and nestle in a shadowy corner under the bed⁠—usually close to heat sources.

Jessica: He wants to be warm but not necessarily in sun.

Jennifer: In the light. Yeah.

Jessica: Is there a way in his tank to create a shadow spot that's like a thin shadow? Do you know what I mean? Like not a cave, but something where he can get the heat but not the direct sun?

Jennifer: He does have a cave, a little cave in there. But yes. I can make a spot for him. Right now, he's⁠—

Jessica: I feel like you could fashion that.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: I feel like that would be helpful for him because he has dueling interests. He likes moving around. That's one of his interests.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: Sometimes he doesn't like the brightness, but he wants the heat.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: I don't think that the cave is especially hot.

Jennifer: No, I don't think so.

Jessica: Is it supposed to be? Okay.

Jennifer: No.

Jessica: Yeah, it feels cool to me. So, if there was a way for him basically to have a beach umbrella, that would really be interesting to see what he does with that. I mean, he knows that he's cared for. He knows that⁠—you're going to work full time outside of the house? Is that what you said?

Jennifer: We'll see. Yeah⁠—I mean, yes. I'm going to have to. I just gotta pay bills, so it's going to happen. Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. Okay. And that'll be a downturn for him because you guys have a relationship, and that's the [indiscernible 00:17:11] of his time. So, in that regard, if you think it's right to rehome him, I would just start looking now in a very open-ended way, not a rush⁠—looking for the perfect person. Don't let him go unless it's the perfect person because you guys already are close.

Jennifer: Yes. And it would take a lot of convincing. My husband is like, "We're not going to rehome our pet. No. He's our pet."

Jessica: Yeah. What's your husband's name?

Jennifer: Manny.

Jessica: Manny doesn't want to let him go. He's very serious about that, but he also isn't doing a lot to help Tony. So that's not cute. We want a better look than that.

Jennifer: Manny's not consistent with Tony.

Jessica: I see. So sometimes he does a lot.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: Is he currently not doing much?

Jennifer: No, he currently⁠—he actually just cleaned his tank out.

Jessica: Okay. That's not the kind of thing that Tony notices. It's the kind of thing that Tony benefits from, but Tony is the one who's telling me that he doesn't do a lot with him.

Jennifer: No.

Jessica: So maybe he does for him, but Tony's not going to be as aware of that as a human would be. Tony likes to be left alone and attention, and you're very good at that because sometimes you forget about him, and sometimes you remember him and you want him on you all the time. It's the kind of attention he likes. It happens to work with your personality. You are very compatible.

Jennifer: That warms my heart.

Jessica: Yeah. It's very true. And I think Manny could be that way, but he's just⁠—I don't know if it's that he is not physically present. I don't think Manny puts Tony on him the same way you do.

Jennifer: No. Manny does not put him on him the way I do. He kind of puts him on his shoulder. He doesn't [crosstalk].

Jessica: He doesn't like that. He likes the chest.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: That's specifically what he likes, partially because he feels a little bit more control because, again, you can't come at his face when he's on your chest facing your face. If Manny is open to it, I would say, "You want to keep Tony? You have to put him on your chest and hang out with him every day, even if it's only for 15 minutes." That'll make a meaningful difference to Tony's life.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: And then I think you will feel a little bit better. And again, if you end up having to leave the house to work, you're going to have to cross that bridge. And I would also look into⁠—you know for cats, they have those crinkly heated blankets, self-heated blankets? I'm sure there's some version for lizards.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: Yeah, for dragons. So I would also look into that if you are going to be out of the house because it would be a tin, not gold or silver, but it would still be better than nothing.

Jennifer: Gotcha. Gotcha.

Jessica: Okay.

Jennifer: The other thing about Tony is Tony does not eat enough, and he does not eat his vegetables. And I don't know what to give him to eat besides worms and crickets and roaches.

Jessica: I was about to say cricket. He keeps on showing me he likes crickets. Maybe he's also showing me roaches. It looks like crickets to me. It looks like exoskeletons.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: That's what he really likes. Is he supposed to eat vegetables?

Jennifer: He's supposed to eat vegetables because, like a lot of creatures, we need vegetables.

Jessica: We need it. Does he ever eat celery?

Jennifer: I have given him celery. He hasn't really been fond of it. He loves blueberries. He'll eat blueberries.

Jessica: That's adorable. I feel like I need to see that. The reason why I asked about celery is because he likes those exoskeleton⁠—he likes the crunch. So I'm wondering, okay, so other than jicama⁠—I'm trying to think of other things that crunch that might appeal to him.

Jennifer: Apples and pears.

Jessica: Does he like apples and pears?

Jennifer: Kind of. Not really. He scoffs at them.

Jessica: [crosstalk] too watery.

Jennifer: [crosstalk] if I cut them in the form⁠—yeah⁠—in the form of a bug, maybe.

Jessica: Yeah, or just smaller slivery pieces, and leaving the peel on, obviously. I think too big of a bite, too juicy of a bite, doesn't appeal to him, certainly pears and apples. I also think you might want to try a sour apple as opposed to a sweet apple.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: Hold on. Let me see what else we got. Have you tried the trunk of broccoli?

Jennifer: Well, we haven't had that in a while.

Jessica: Try that. Again, I'm just trying to go with what he's showing me that he likes about crickets. They are crunch. It's a textural thing as much as a taste thing for him, although blueberry is pure taste for him. He just likes their taste. So I feel like if you could just get him on a fruit and veggie that he likes, like one of each, that would kind of solve the problem.

Jennifer: Yes. It would. I would be happy.

Jessica: Yeah. For now, he's just like, "Give me crickets."

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: "Just give me crickets."

Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah. He loves those crunchy things. Oh, he's so funny. He's in the corner just staring here, and his beard is all black.

Jessica: Oh, he's stressed. He's like, "What are we doing?" Hold on. Let me just take a moment to talk to him, okay? I'm going to be silent for a moment.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jennifer: Let me know if in the next few minutes, if his beard kind of cools down from his agitated state. He feels like I'm picking, picking, picking, picking, and he's aware that you're considering rehoming him. And that's not how animals think of it ever. It's not how kids think of it. It's not how animals think of it. He doesn't want to be gotten rid of.

Jennifer: Okay. Well, I won't get rid of him. I will keep him.

Jessica: Okay.

Jennifer: That's easy.

Jessica: Yeah. And I don't want to talk you out of⁠—if you find that you can't give him the care that he needs and he's going to live another decade, I think it's wise to be open to the perfect situation with the perfect person. But again, it's like he doesn't like being picked at and me asking all these questions. Even though he's being very forthcoming and he's being very communicative, he's in a fighting stance. Is that physically how he looks right now, in a fighting stance? Or just in a defensive stance?

Jennifer: Yeah. Defensive. He's kind of low and like⁠—

Jessica: Like, "What do you want? Where is this going?" is basically what he's saying.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: So hold on for a moment. Okay. Do you have blueberries with you?

Jennifer: He has some in his tank. They're sitting right there. They're available.

Jessica: Okay. So he's messing with me. Okay. Let's see how he does with that.

Jennifer: Yeah. Maybe he wants fresh blueberries.

Jessica: He only likes them fresh, just so you know.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: He prefers them cold. He doesn't like them warm.

Jennifer: Oh. Well, let me go give him some cold ones right now because⁠—

Jessica: Okay. Cool. Yeah.

Jennifer: ⁠—I want him to be happy.

Jessica: Yeah, because he's a little stressed by this conversation for sure. That's understandable. I don't know why he likes a cold blueberry, but it's just a preference. He just does.

Jennifer: Okay. See, Tony? I hear you. Let's see.

Jessica: He's a little defensive. I don't know if he eats when he's nervous.

Jennifer: Maybe not, but we're going to take these guys out, okay?

Jessica: Yeah. We're going to play it out and see what happens.

Jennifer: He's got cold blueberries now.

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Jennifer: So here's this guy.

Jessica: Oh, hey, Mr. Jack.

Jennifer: Yeah. So he wants to come in.

Jessica: Great.

Jennifer: So I'm going to let him in.

Jessica: In regards to the cats, is there anything that you want me to look at or anything that you want to ask about?

Jennifer: I'm really curious about Shadow. We know that she's got some liver problems. I'm really concerned about her because her appetite increases/decreases. We have this cream that we put in her ear for⁠—she's got a thyroid issue is what they said.

Jessica: And liver?

Jennifer: I believe and liver, plus her bladder. The way that she's made is that things are curved inside of her, I believe⁠—

Jessica: Oh.

Jennifer: ⁠—or tucked away. So she's not⁠—the vet said it's just⁠—I don't even know what it is. It's a foreign language to me.

Jessica: It's like the uniqueness of her [indiscernible 00:27:28] is this thing. It's not like it's wrong. It's just a little⁠—

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: Okay. So we're checking with Shadow. Hold on for just a moment. They're right there right away because you warned them that I was coming. Good job.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: So she's old.

Jennifer: She is.

Jessica: That's what she says. I will preface what I'm going to say with I've talked to many animals who were at the end of their life who said, "I'm not ready to die yet," and many who have said, "I'm totally ready to die yet." I have never met an animal who resisted death or feared death the way that humans do. So I want to just preface this conversation with that. She is not dying currently, but she understands that she is at the end of her life. And I don't mean that like imminently at the end of her life. But you say thyroid. You say liver. She says old. Sometimes she's uncomfortable, but she is never unhappy unhappy. So, whatever you're doing to care for her, sometimes she finds it very annoying.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: But she understands that you're trying to make yourself feel better. She doesn't⁠—

Jennifer: Here she comes.

Jessica: Okay. Yeah. That makes sense that she would come through now, because she feels that it's important for you to do these things for her because of how you feel about her. She doesn't completely think they're going to help.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: Now, she may not be right. But did she all of a sudden jump up and come over here?

Jennifer: No. She's just⁠—yeah, she's right here by my feet.

Jessica: Okay.

Jennifer: She's just⁠—yeah. Yeah.

Jessica: She's scooching around. Okay. I mean, for her, her senses are still⁠—I mean, they're not what they once were, but her senses are still good. Does she have a little bit of cataracts?

Jennifer: I don't know. I don't think so.

Jessica: Are her eyes⁠—do they sometimes look like⁠—I don't know how to describe how it looks on cats. You can tell when a cat's eyes are a bit old because they're a little more of that shiny, concave thing that happens.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: Do you see that on her?

Jennifer: I haven't noticed that.

Jessica: Okay.

Jennifer: She's just walking over here. Her eyes are super golden right now.

Jessica: Great. So you're not seeing it. Great.

Jennifer: No. No.

Jessica: Her vision⁠, she's telling me, is not as it once was, but it's still good. She still smells. She still can jump and run.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: So all this other stuff⁠—she just feels like, "Well, I'm old." And it doesn't bother her that much.

Jennifer: We call her Old Lady because she's the little old lady.

Jessica: Because she's a little old lady. Because she's a little old lady.

Jennifer: Yeah. She is.

Jessica: But she's a little old lady that you and I want to become. She's still really active. She's very happy in her life. She's happy walking away from you and spending time alone. She's happy hanging out with you and connecting. She's her own person.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: And I don't see that there's anything that she needs that you're not giving her. I think there's a food⁠—it's a kibble, it looks like, a dark food that is not wet. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Jennifer: Oh, we stopped giving that to her about two years ago.

Jessica: Why?

Jennifer: Her teeth.

Jessica: Oh. She really liked it. And if you're asking if there's anything she wants, she wants that.

Jennifer: Yes. Okay.

Jessica: So I would say that if you're really looking to spoil her, you can get that food and give it to her as a treat and not as a meal⁠—

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: ⁠—and see how that goes. But this is you indulging her. This is not necessary. It's just you told her to ask for what she wants, so that's what she wants. She really liked that food. It wasn't like McDonald's, but it was addictive, yummy food. It was very easy to eat. What you're giving her now is a little⁠—it's probably much better food because it's a lot more complex. So she eats it slower, or she feels slower about it.

Jennifer: Yes. We have to pull it out because she will finish her bowl, and then Jack will go in there and scarf it down. So we're telling Jack⁠—we've trained Jack⁠—we're working on it⁠—to not eat Shadow's food.

Jessica: Jack thinks that's a really fun game. Jack just thinks that's a fun game, and we can play this game forever. It's fine. It's really just a game that sometimes you win; sometimes he wins. He's a good loser.

Jennifer: Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica: You're not as good a loser, but whatever. It's fine.

Jennifer: No. No. But it's okay.

Jessica: Yeah. That's his attitude. She just can't always eat as much of this other food, the food that you're giving her. Okay. So the water⁠—do you have two different water bowls for the cats?

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: Okay.

Jennifer: They each have their own water bowl.

Jessica: Is hers up higher?

Jennifer: No. Actually, I put hers lower. Hers is the lower one. But she comes in to Jack's. Jack's is a little bit higher, and she'll drink from there.

Jessica: She prefers that location.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: For whatever that's worth. I think it's because more dusties and random hairs and stuff like that fall into the water bowl the lower it is.

Jennifer: Yes, and not just that. She's⁠—

Jessica: She's particular.

Jennifer: Yeah. And it's in the laundry room. So we moved it from the kitchen to the⁠—just because we're doing a bunch of cleaning stuff out. You know?

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. Life.

Jennifer: Life. Yeah. And so we've relocated their space. And also⁠—so here's the thing that I really want to know about my cats and what I need them to know. They gotta stop waking me up at 4:00 in the morning and 3:00 in the morning, because if they're going to keep doing that⁠—right now, what we've done⁠—our solution has been Jack goes into the office, which is the garage conversion, and Shadow is in the laundry room. So it's the garage, but there's a space that separates it, a wall that separates, and a door.

So Shadow is on top of the dryer because it's warm, I think, for her. And her food is down low below the dryer, which really seems to bother her. She'll go into the office. She prefers to go into the office to eat and to have water, I've noticed. So we can make that change, or we can bring her food back out into the dining room. So does she have a preference of office or dining room or kitchen?

Jessica: The kitchen is what she's the most used to, and because she's a cat, she's a little inclined towards that. But the office, if the door is always open, is more quiet and gets less traffic, so she might prefer that. The problem is you don't always have the door open, it looks like.

Jennifer: No, because we close the door at night because Jack's in there.

Jessica: I see.

Jennifer: But Jack is very irritated that he is in there because he wants to prowl at night. But it's winter and it's cold, and it's been raining and storming. I think when it's raining and storming, he's okay with it. But when it's not, he wants to be out.

Jessica: He wants to be out of doors, not out of the room?

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: Okay. First of all, moving her food would be great. If the kitchen is chaotic, go to the office. The problem is she doesn't like being away from her water. She does get dehydrated. That is part of her old lady medical stuff. So I would say, if you could even have two water bowls for her, that wouldn't hurt her feelings. So there's that.

Then there's⁠—Jack understands why you don't want him to go out at night, and he disagrees. And that's the whole conversation. I don't see it changing. I'm just going to be honest with you about that. But then you mentioned something important but kind of blew past it, which is they wake you up at 3:00 or 4:00. So do they have access to your bedroom at night?

Jennifer: We keep the door cracked. Yes. They do.

Jessica: So they can come in. Okay.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: And so the fact that they hang out in the rooms that they do⁠—they have access to the house; they just choose to be in those rooms?

Jennifer: No. She just comes in, claws clicking, and then leaves, and then comes in and then leaves.

Jessica: Oh. So she's not meowing to wake you up; it's just that she's checking on you, and it wakes you up?

Jennifer: Yes. I don't know what she's doing, but she's coming in, and it's waking us up. Sometimes she'll meow, but not always.

Jessica: Do you have a sound machine on in that room?

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: Okay. So you can hear her over the sound machine?

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: And is it just her or both of them? Because I'm just talking to her right now, but is it both of them or just her?

Jennifer: Jack doesn't come in. Jack just meows really loud and⁠—

Jessica: He howls is what it⁠—

Jennifer: He howls. Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. At the door?

Jennifer: No, just in the living room, and we can all hear it.

Jessica: And they're both doing this at 3:00 or 4:00?

Jennifer: Yeah, usually between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning.

Jessica: So they're both doing it for different reasons. She's hungry. Her food's out, you said?

Jennifer: Her food is usually out and down at that time because we know that Jack's not going to get to it. So she usually has food out, but she's usually finished her nighttime⁠—

Jessica: Her grazing. Yeah.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: She's coming in hungry is what she's showing me. So I don't know what that's about. Hold on. Let me just pause and ask her. She's confused. This is old lady stuff, I feel like. This is a new behavior from her?

Jennifer: It started probably in the last six months.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah.

Jennifer: I think that the thyroid thing that we discovered is the reason why. And when she's on the medication regularly, it's helped, but then she starts losing her fur and has other issues. So I'm adjusting the dosage, and it's been a pain for her, poor thing. And now her appetite's all whacked out.

Jessica: I see that. What I'm seeing is she's coming in, and she's confused and she feels hungry. She's showing me that she feels hungry, and she's just like, "Are you still there? Wait. What? Oh, I'm going to go. Wait. I have to go check. Wait. Are they still there? Yeah. Wait. I'm hungry. Wait. What? Oh. Okay. I'm going to go." She's confused. She's confused. If she goes outside, you don't really want to cut her nails because you want to give her that line of defense.

Hold on. Let me just⁠—I see the problem⁠—okay. Hold on. Let me see. You don't want her to sleep on the bed, or are you okay with that?

Jennifer: I'm okay with her sleeping on the bed as long as there's a blanket on top of it, because sometimes she leaks, and I have a white ivory comforter that I'm particularly fond of.

Jessica: Yeah. Have you ever tried getting one of those puffy, flat squares that are basically cat beds or small dog beds?

Jennifer: Yeah. She has one. She has one on top of the dryer.

Jessica: She has one. And she sleeps on it, right?

Jennifer: She loves it. Yeah. She sleeps in it.

Jessica: Would you be able to get one for the bed so that you could keep it on the bed? Because I wonder, if she developed a new habit of sitting on the corner of the bed on⁠—it looks like your side, not his side⁠—at that hour, she might feel a little bit more soothed, like there's something to do when she comes in there, because she goes in your room and there's nothing that she's supposed to do, but she feels like she should keep on going in your room. That might help. Hold on. It wouldn't help immediately, but it would help, especially if you developed a habit of picking her up and putting her on that corner.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: Picking her up and putting her on that corner. Then she might just come and hang out on that corner.

Jennifer: She hangs out on that corner pretty regularly⁠—

Jessica: Okay.

Jennifer: ⁠—without anything. Yeah.

Jessica: Without anything there?

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: I feel like if you're sleeping and you know she might leak on your bed, that's not super relaxing, whereas you can throw those things in the wash easy-peasy. So I would see if that helps. The problem with changing Shadow's behavior is simply that she's not really⁠—there's something that's going on with her. It happens during the day, too, in different ways. You're just not noticing it as much because there's a million other things happening as opposed to just sleep. But she's confused.

Jennifer: Okay.

Jessica: She's showing me that she's hungry, but I wonder if what I'm perceiving as hunger is a different feeling in her body. It's like an ache that I'm associating with hunger, but it might be something else. Hold on. She doesn't understand why it's a problem. She feels she's very quiet.

Jennifer: She is very quiet. Yeah.

Jessica: She feels she's very quiet. And she is checking in on you, and she's also trying to get some need met that she can't figure out. It's a confusion. And here's another work-around, which is, could you throw down a rug where she tends to click-clack, click-clack? Then you won't hear the click-clack. That might work. She doesn't have a request that she's trying to get satiated, so it puts you in a bad position because you can't fix it for her. You know what I mean?

Jennifer: When I invite her to sleep with us, she doesn't. I think I'll just keep on inviting her to sleep with us, and I'll just get a bed for her that can just⁠—we have a king-size bed now, so there's plenty of space for her.

Jessica: Good. Yeah, and I think for her, that cat bed that⁠—I'm seeing that square material thing that you have on the washing machine. She knows that's her spot. You've placed it for her. You said, "This is for you." And she gets it. So I think if she had another one on your bed, when she walks in confused, she might see that and be like, "Oh. Okay." That might just answer it. It might not. Again, I don't think she has dementia, but she has senility. And I think it gets worse at different hours or in different conditions.

Jennifer: Okay. Okay.

Jessica: Yeah. She's still safe to go outside, though, from what I'm seeing.

Jennifer: She is. Yeah. She goes outside once in a while. She just doesn't prefer it. She likes to go out and jaunt around for ten minutes and come back in.

Jessica: Yeah. She doesn't want to be in danger, because she's not confident anymore, whereas⁠—okay. So now the last question we have is looking at Jack, what the hell he's doing howling in the middle of the night.

Jennifer: Yes. Yes.

Jessica: And again, that's a new behavior?

Jennifer: It started around the same time that Shadow's⁠—yeah. It started around the same time. Jack's really⁠—he's really pissed off at us for taking him to the vet. And I had his teeth cleaned recently, and they actually said, "You have to give him sedative to come to the vet," because he's very aggressive.

Jessica: Okay. So there's a spray that you can get for cats that you spray it like 15 minutes before you go to the vet, and you can really dose it. And it's a pheromone that really calls them down. It might protect you from having to give him a sedative. It might not. But it might even just make it easier to give him a sedative because it's really good for an anxious cat. So this has been going on for a couple months or weeks?

Jennifer: Probably, yeah, since the beginning of the year.

Jessica: Hold on. I mean, he's howling. He's not meowing. He's howling.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: He's trying to get your attention. He wants to be let out. He just wants to go. He was howling like this in the rain?

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: When he knew it was flooding out, he was still trying to get out?

Jennifer: Yes. Yes. Yes.

Jessica: What a nerd. Okay. Hold on. Listen. This is a guy with a lot of emotional intelligence, but that is where his intelligence is, okay? I'm just like, what kind of cat wants to go out in the monsoon? But he did? Hold on. Let me just talk to him for a minute. What time is okay for him to start howling? What time do you wake up?

Jennifer: 4:30, 5:00.

Jessica: You wake up at 4:30?

Jennifer: I just⁠—you know, I don't sleep well.

Jessica: Yeah. I mean, yeah. You said 4:30⁠—

[crosstalk]

Jessica: So he's only waking up, like, an hour before you get up.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: That's a cat thing. I told him push it over an hour. He's like, "No. I have to tell them when it's time to get ready to get ready." He's doing his due diligence. That's how he sees it. But I told him to just try and that you would pet his head⁠—because he likes his head pet, unlike the dragon⁠—and you would talk to him and let him out.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: I made him promises without checking with you, but I felt like they were okay.

Jennifer: That's okay. I can totally do that. I can totally do that.

Jessica: You can do those three things.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: But that's if he aims towards 5:00, 4:30 to 5:00.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jessica: He knows what that means. He knows what the difference is. I'm trying to get him to time it with you getting out of bed instead of reminding you that it's almost time to get out of bed. Honestly, he thinks he's doing his job.

Jennifer: That's so sweet.

Jessica: He thinks he's like a rooster, like it's his job to get you ready to get ready.

Jennifer: That's so sweet.

Jessica: Also annoying. It's super annoying.

Jennifer: It is.

Jessica: Hold on for a minute. Hold on. They're also, a little, egging each other on. They're both kind of getting alert around the same hour, a little bit like one is agitated and the other is agitated, and⁠—you know what I mean?

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: But they're not even talking to each other about it. It's not like they're doing the same thing, having the same feeling or the same motivation. They're just both activated, and they're both like, "What do we do?" So Jack isn't saying this, but I think part of what might be happening is that Shadow is just agitated a little because she's an old person. And I think Jack is kind of responding to, like, "Oh, okay, it's time to get on. Let's turn on, then. Okay. Let's go." I think there's an element of that.

I'm going to keep all my fingers and toes crossed that this conversation helps. Nobody wants to make any of these changes, just for the record. But everyone seems amiable to try.

Jennifer: That's good, because the reason I want this is because I feel guilty locking them up at night.

Jessica: I understand.

Jennifer: I don't want to be locked up at night. I don't want the cats to be locked up at night. It makes me very sad.

Jessica: Yeah. I agree. And they don't understand why. They're just like, "This makes no sense. Why in the world would this happen?" And it makes their behaviors worse because they're just trying to get your attention. I mean, kids⁠—what are you going to do? Now, I know we have to wrap up. But I am a little curious: did Tony the bearded dragon eat his blueberries?

Jennifer: Tony did not eat his blueberries. He was still in the spot. Shadow, [crosstalk].

Jessica: Is he still black-bearded? Is he still agitated?

Jennifer: Let's see him. Let's see him. He's still there, but he doesn't seem⁠—

Jessica: Yeah. He's still a little agitated-looking, eh? Is that the normal color of his face, or is that the agitated color?

Jennifer: ⁠That's—well, he's also not warm, so⁠—but the orange, I think, is⁠—I don't think the orange is agitated.

Jessica: Okay.

Jennifer: He seems pretty happy when he's orange, usually.

Jessica: Okay. Okay. Great. So I'm going by feel here. Okay. Well, let me know how that goes as well.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Jessica: ⁠I mean, it might not work at all, and it might work later. And we're going to keep our fingers crossed that this has been productive.

Jennifer: Thank you.

Jessica: It is my pleasure. It's been so nice to meet you.

Jennifer: So great to meet you.

Jessica: And your whole family of animals.

Jennifer: I love my animals.

Jessica: They're adorable.

Jennifer: Wonderful.