Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Hey there, Ghosties. In this episode, I'll be doing a live reading with one of my beloved listeners. Every Wednesday, listen in on an intimate conversation and get inspired as we explore perspectives on life, love, and the human condition. Along the way, we'll uncover valuable insights and practical lessons that you can apply to your own life. And don't forget to hit Subscribe or, at the very least, mark your calendars because every Sunday I'll be back with your weekly horoscope. And that you don't want to miss. Let's get started.

Jessica:      So welcome to the podcast. Tell me, what would you like a reading about?

Guest:        Well, the third Saturn Return. What exactly does that mean for me?

Jessica:            So you were born February 19th, 1940, 3:30 p.m. in Chicago, Illinois. And I was so excited that you reached out wanting to talk about the third Saturn Return because there's not that much information out there about the third Saturn Return. I don't know if you've noticed that or not.

Guest:              Yeah, I have. And I talked to my daughter a little bit about it, but not that much. So I'm really curious as to what's coming. Here I am at the⁠—I can't say at the very end, but in the third quarter of my life, really.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah.

Guest:              And so what does that mean to someone like me?

Jessica:            So there's a lot of things I'm going to say. The first thing is it is a relatively new thing that people are living to their third Saturn Return. And so, when we consider how ancient astrology is over the course of human development, to live into your 80s means living into transits that most humans over the course of time have not lived to, which is just super cool and also weird. I don't know. It's a cool thing to think about.

                        Because of that, and also because I think the internet skews young, and so if you're googling things⁠—or if publishers are taking on a book, they're often skewing towards young people. And it's not towards millennials or gen Z's. It's just always people who are, like, under 35, right? I want to just acknowledge that, and I want to tell you from there a bunch of things. What you don't know is that your Saturn Return does not begin until⁠—drumroll, please⁠—2027. Until 2027.

Guest:              Oh, wow. Okay.

Jessica:            Yes. You are very pre-Saturn Return. You're not feeling your Saturn Return yet. But the reason why you feel that way is because there's these other transits that lead up to the third Saturn Return that you'll be hard pressed to find information about on the internet for all the reasons I just mentioned, and you're going through them.

                        And one of the transits that you're going through is called the Uranus conjunction. Uranus takes approximately 84 years to move all the way through the zodiac. And so, currently, Uranus is exactly where it was when you were born. Yeah. And that, my friend, is a massive deal. The Uranus conjunction to Uranus⁠—so, when we talk about the Saturn Return, this is like the Uranus Return. It's the other way of saying it. This transit is as big a deal as the Saturn Return. But again, it's new that humans are living to it as much, and not just living to it, but living vibrant lives, often still working, for better or worse⁠—all these kinds of things.

                        And so what the Uranus conjunction, or the Uranus Return, is about is kind of this feeling of, "My life is changing." Some of this is about body, but a lot of this is about spirit and psyche. It's like the things that have been important to you, that have been driving for you, are changing really quickly. And this transit can have you feeling very activated but also redirected.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. In your birth chart, you have Uranus in the tenth house, which is the place of career. This is not in any way divorced from work for you. So let me know: what is it that you do, and are you still working?

Guest:              Yeah. I am an actress, surprisingly enough. These last couple of years, what I was interested in doing has shifted. But it's still within the acting. But I realized that I think I want it to mean something.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Guest:              It's not just about money for me.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Guest:              And the truth of it is that when I think back on it, it's never been about just money for me. I've lost opportunities because I've given my word to somebody that didn't have the money to do whatever they were going to do, and I said, "Yes, I'll do it." And then something would come along, and they'd go, "Are you crazy? Don't you want the thus-and-so?" And I thought, "No, because I know it sounds crazy, but I gave my word to this person. And I think this is the right thing I should do."

                        And so far, no matter what I've done, it's sort of been that way. So yeah. I still like to act. I can't do or I don't want to do stage anymore, even though I love it, because I don't want to work eight days⁠—I mean, you know⁠—

Jessica:            I mean, that is such a grueling schedule.

Guest:              It's too much for me.

Jessica:            Yeah. Well, it's interesting because in your birth chart, you have Saturn conjunct the Midheaven. Mars is also conjunct your Saturn and your Midheaven. That placement tells us lots of things. It tells us that you work your buns off⁠—when you work, you work incredibly hard⁠—and that things don't come easy to you. It's not like things are just handed to you. I mean, you have some things in your chart that indicate luck, but overwhelmingly, it's not luck; it's labor for you. Right?

Guest:              Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            And related to that, your integrity and your ethics and your convictions about what's right and wrong are really driving, which is, again, not always the best thing in your industry. I mean, I think it's a great thing as a spiritual person, but it's like good luck as an actor, right? And related to that, Saturn is the planet of consequence and time. And so there is a ripening of the fruit over time that occurs. I'm thinking about when you plant a tree that bears fruit, you can't eat the fruit of the tree for the first several years. Then, the longer it's alive and well tended, the sweeter the fruit becomes.

                        And this is very much about Saturn in the tenth, Saturn on the Midheaven. The paradox or irony of what's happening for you now is that you may be getting accolades and attention and even opportunities as a result of years of labor. Again, we're talking about time. But it's happening at this exact moment as you're going through your Uranus conjunction and your Neptune opposition, which I haven't mentioned yet. But these are the two transits that occur before the third Saturn Return.

                        What they indicate kind of as an en suite, as they're together, is that you are looking towards the next cycle, which is reasonably not a 30-year cycle. What is it? The, like, unraveling of the mortal coil is here. And as a result, your priorities are changing, are meant to be changing. Some of that is related to your physiology. The body is just like, "Yeah, eight-hour days are not an option."

But also, in walks this Neptune opposition. This transit teaches about how your awareness and your priorities and your need for meaning are more driving now than before. So, even if they were always important to you, this is a really powerful change. If it's going to get your precious and limited energy, it needs to be of value. And what a lot of people experience during the Neptune opposition is confusion. It can literally make you feel like your head is spinning or you've just got too many ideas because what Neptune does is it creates a lot of things, including an overwhelm of energy and an overwhelm of data, such that you're like, "I don't know what to pay attention to."

Guest:        Yep.

Jessica:            And so this all makes sense why you would be like, "Oh, I'm in my third Saturn Return," because this is so big, so consequential, and so personal to you. But this is, just so you know, the appetizer to the Saturn Return. So get ready.

The thing that you're meant to get⁠—and I'll tell you the Uranus conjunction is over in March of 2024, and the Neptune opposition is over in March of 2024, which means next spring is going to be a massively big deal for you because at that point, you will have changed. Now you're changing, and it's chaotic, and it's overwhelming, and it's like, "I don't know what to do with this. I don't know where to go." You're not supposed to. You're not supposed to know where to go, which⁠—everything in your chart says that you hate that. But oh well. This is what's happening.

                        But once these transits have passed, you're going to be in the buildup period towards the Saturn Return where you will then be able⁠—so, after the spring of '24, be able to start planning, "What do I actually want for myself next?" And this is related to work for you because it's in your tenth house, but it's in no way exclusive to work. It is about creating value and meaning with the time you have.

                        Honestly, most people turn away from worldly ambitions during the third Saturn Return. And this can be a time where you teach, and that can be your kids, your friends. It doesn't have to be teaching as a job, by any means. But it's also a time where people often will be confronted with consequences for how you've lived your life over the last 80-something years, and in particular the last 60-something years, the adult years.

                        Within this invariably becomes material concerns. So we're talking about your security in your home, both the material place of your home but also with family or loved ones, and with your body. So these are the major themes that we want to be looking out for. And I don't want to data dump because there's so much going on in your birth chart, but I want to just slow down and see, does that make sense? Do you have any questions?

Guest:              Well, it makes a lot of sense. I did a show at this particular place that I go for gym and all of that. It was free. We took something that everybody knows and sort of changed it. And this one young woman asked me⁠⁠—she said, the first night we're going to go on⁠—we only did it once. And she said, "How can you sit there so calm?" because I knew⁠—I thought, "This is not the same as my being onstage with people that are professional. This is different. And I'm here to have a good time and hope that everybody else has a good time."

                        People loved it. There were mistakes upon mistakes, and we just went on because that's what you do. But not only that, but there's been some young interns that have come in, not for theater, but just to be around older adults and to talk to them. And that's been very important to me, to talk to them. They've got one more week or a few days. And I said, "You know, we love you like you're our grandchildren," because they're high school. And that is true. That is absolutely the way I feel about them, and I want to help them as much as I can.

Jessica:            Part of what I'm hearing also is that you're really enjoying mentoring.

Guest:              Oh yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            That's part of it. That is a big piece of the building towards the Saturn Return, the third Saturn Return. The second and the first Saturn Returns are not about mentoring, but the third Saturn Return comes with it this kind of existential confrontation with mortality and also this accumulation of wisdom through lived experience.

One of the beautiful parts that comes out of the third Saturn Return is the ability to mentor in a different way than anyone of any other age really can because, again, the third Saturn Return is such an accomplishment. I think it's weird that we get less happy birthday oriented as we age. It's an accomplishment to be 25, but it's really an accomplishment to be 84. I mean, that's the damn accomplishment. That's where we should have ribbons and balloons and shit, personally.

But I will say that working with people that feel like family is really important for you. And so, if opportunities kind of emerge in that direction, I think it's the way to go. I will tell you this, though. You are going through all these transits, and at the same damn time, you are going through a Pluto opposition to Pluto. Now, again, the Pluto opposition to Pluto⁠—people didn't go through this before. It's your generation that is the first generation to start going through the Pluto opposition to Pluto. It's just how the movement of Pluto has moved and lots of boring technical things.

But the upshot is this particular transit is a once-in-a-lifetime, doesn't happen to everybody, but is happening to your generation. You started to feel it this spring, and it's in a little bit of a remission, but it's coming back for you. And in addition, Pluto is going to square your Mars starting in February of 2024. So, again, it's the spring. Late winter/spring is going to be a massive change. Was anything in particular happening in the spring of this past year, 2023?

Guest:              I think that's when I started the series, and just like that⁠—isn't that something? That's right around my birthday.

Jessica:            Yeah. Actually, it's right after your birthday for three months was when you went through the first hit of it. The Pluto opposition to Pluto⁠—what it does is it stimulates your survival mechanisms. That's Pluto for you. It governs our survival mechanisms. It really challenges you to stand up for yourself in a meaningful way based not just on fear or reaction but instead on what is creative, what is life-affirming for you.

                        And again, this is a really unique and, I think, very special transit because it forces you to really confront your own values and, I guess, most deeply held beliefs around what you want to do with your time and energy. And what Pluto tends to do is either ask us to give things up or give us opportunities that we have to give things up in order to meet.

Guest:              Yeah. One of the things that I was able to talk to my daughter and my grandchildren⁠—because there's been a lot of losses in my life and in hers as well. And I was talking about my mortality, and I said, "You know what? All of us will have to go through this journey. And there comes a time when I have to put this body down and move on." There was one time that I got physically sick, and I knew that I could give up my body and pass on, or I could stay here. And I decided to stay here because [redacted] was five, I think. So that kind of sounds strange, but⁠—

Jessica:            No. I want to just validate that, because there's a couple things. The first is you're a Pisces, and you have Mercury in Pisces in the eighth house, which automatically gives you just that⁠—things kind of are clear to you. You feel it deep in your gut, and you just have this sense of knowing. And that is part of your thing.

                        Now, the other thing is you have a Moon/Chiron conjunction in the twelfth house. To that, I say I actually think psychic ability runs in your mother's side of the family, but they shut it down. And so your mom shut it down as a way to get along. I think she was maybe a little threatened by it or little insecure around it because she shut it down in herself. But your intuitive ability is kind of written all over your chart.

                        And then you have Pluto conjunct the Ascendant. And unfortunately, that can put you in contact with certain kinds of suffering, being around death or having your own near-death experiences. And there's really good things about this, and there's really challenging things about this. But you may really trigger people so that they have really strong reactions to you. And that will get you a leading role onstage, but that'll also get you to be in someone's crosshairs for a reason that you can't quite tell. It's both. That makes sense, right?

Guest:              Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            And because of the Pluto opposition, unfortunately⁠—and this also happens in the third Saturn Return⁠—is that part of what forces us to confront our death, essentially, the imminence of death, whatever that means⁠⁠—imminence is relative⁠—is losing other people or seeing other people crumble or struggle.

                        And I want to really validate that you are currently going through a period where what that means to you is just changing, and your ability to hold it and how you're holding it and where you're keeping it inside of you is changing. And the people around you who are not also going through these transits⁠—so people who are not your age⁠—are going to be threatened by that a little bit because they're not there, and they don't know how to or want to have such a realistic confrontation with these things. A lot of people are terrified of death. It does not look like you are terrified of death.

Guest:              That's right. I mean, from time to time, I'll get a little bit afraid. My dad died when I was three⁠, two and a half or three.

Jessica:            I'm sorry.

Guest:              And my mom seems that she was lost the rest of her life. And when she decided she was going to pass on, she stayed for a while because I wanted her to stay. And then, when I saw how unhappy she truly⁠—she wanted out. And I said to her, "It's okay, Mom. It's okay." The same thing happened with my brother this past February.

Jessica:            Oh, wow. That's recent.

Guest:              But it's been a lot. Well, I mean⁠—

Jessica:            It is a lot.

Guest:              Yeah. It's sort of like, well, now what do I do?

Jessica:            Well, let me speak to a couple things that you're sharing, other than I just want to acknowledge there's a lot of loss. And I think, a lot of times, young people hear about older people going through loss after loss, and they're like, "Oh, that's part of aging." It doesn't get easy. Just because you're older doesn't mean the grief is easier to bear. And having loss after loss after loss, it doesn't matter how old you are. It is really heart-wrenching. And so I want to just acknowledge that. And if we are lucky enough to make it to this stage, here are the burdens of that. And it's also a gift.

                        And this is the thing I wanted to really just validate, is that there is a way that death is beautiful. And if we can not be attached to the physical experience or to control⁠—because it is the greatest unknown of the human condition. I'm a medium. I talk to dead people. I don't know what happens. There's none of us on this plane that truly know what happens. And this is one of those things that both the Uranus Return that you're going through and the Neptune opposition that you're going through really confront you with, as will the third Saturn Return, this more innate and embodied understanding of, "Oh. I really gotta let this go. I really can't control this."

                        That in addition to your own ability⁠—that Mercury in Pisces in the eighth house, yeah, you can help people let go. You can help people let go of life when it's time. You can help people let go of stage fright if they're about to get on stage and they're just like, "Oh, I'm freaking out." You have the ability when you are in alignment with yourself⁠, right? Because we all have our things. But when you're in the zone, your ability to just speak release is really powerful.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            And that is something that I feel is not just a gift, but it's a gift you can give yourself as you make these transitions through your life and experience different parts of what it means to be human in a physical experience. Let me have you say your full name out loud.

Guest:              Well, I use it in two ways. One is my professional name is [redacted].

Jessica:            Okay.

Guest:              And the name that I use a lot of times, like on my email and stuff, is [redacted].

Jessica:            Great. Thank you. Okay. So there's two things that are kind of coming up for me right now. One is that you just have a lot of people in spirit, and I'm just⁠—all of a sudden, I'm like, "Oh, okay. I get it." There's a lot of people with you. And I am having this experience of how⁠—not for the first time⁠—of, oh, talking to a person who has a lot of dead with them. But I'm actually able to tap into how your experience of that⁠—because of these transits you're going through, because of the transition in your life, which only happens at the age you're at, you can feel them. There's a greater closeness.

It's almost like the boundary between living and dead is⁠—it's just shifted a little bit. And it's not bad, and it's not good. It just is. It just is. And within that, it's weird. Within that, there is grief and love. And if you can let go into it, it's just kind of this peace. Having a felt awareness, like an emotional awareness, of those who've passed on is an affirmation that death of the body is not the end. And that is, for some people, terrible news, to be honest. Some people are like, "Get me out of here, and I want it done." But I don't think that's what you're experiencing at all.

It is fair to consider the three Saturn Returns. And I guess there are some rare individuals who have four, but I couldn't speak to the fourth. It's kind of like it would be fair to think of these as different acts of the play of life. The first cycle of Saturn that brings you to your first Saturn Return is your childhood. The second one brings you to your adult years. And this third one that you are pretty quickly approaching, it brings you to this whole other embodiment of wisdom within your life.

And I do not feel like in English or in American society, we have the right term for it. "Senior citizen" I feel like has got so much shitty connotation to it. I feel like we don't have the right word for it, and we need that, because you're stepping into this phase of life that⁠—maybe it's appropriate that there isn't a name for it, because again, it's about nonattachment. It's not about that, exactly. But I feel like it would be better for people of all ages if we had more integration with people of all ages, which we really don't anymore, unfortunately.

Guest:              There was one time⁠—and this has happened to me a couple of times, but not this particular incident⁠—when I felt really lonely. And I was here in my apartment, and I was sitting on the sofa. And I had this feeling that there was a presence sitting next to me. And I thought, "Oh boy. I am not on this journey alone," that there is something that connects me and everybody else if we would just slow down and tap into it.

Jessica:            That is exactly right. And it's interesting looking at your birth chart because there is a part of you that's like, "No." You bear down. You work hard. You do what you can. More, more, more. Hotter, faster. Right? You've got that very strong in your chart. But then literally the rest of your chart is, "Love and connection is the only thing that actually matters."

Guest:              That's right.

Jessica:            Slowness supports nonattachment, and nonattachment supports actual peace and success.

Guest:              Absolutely.

Jessica:            You have both of these parts of you, and they⁠—I wouldn't even say they duel for prominence. I would just say sometimes you're the fire, and sometimes you're the water. It's what and who you are. And so I will say this. I kind of referenced that Pluto is going to start squaring your Mars in February of this upcoming year, 2024. At that time, I imagine that you're going to have a major opportunity. And it may show up around your career. So it may be that you get some big opportunity to do something that's really important to you, and it may be that you get an opportunity to do something that's really big, and it may not be important to you.

                        This kind of⁠—us talking about⁠—I'll shorthand call it your fire and water, the parts of you that are like just, "I want more," versus, "I want the right thing. I want to be in alignment"⁠—this is an important theme for you to keep on returning to over the next, I would say, four or five years because the point is truly meaning. The point is truly connection. If we seek connection and meaning through others or through external things outside of connection to the self or at the expense of connection to the self, at this phase of life⁠—now that you're in your Uranus conjunction, your Neptune opposition, moving towards that third Saturn Return, it's too expensive. It's not worth the cost.

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Jessica:      Related to that, your daughter⁠—and she lives in the same town; is that right?

Guest:        Yeah.

Jessica:      Will you say her name? We're going to beep it out.

Guest:        Well, it's [redacted].

Jessica:      And did she have kids?

Guest:        Yes. Three.

Jessica:      Okay. There's three. Okay. I was seeing two or three. But is she with a partner?

Guest:        Yes.

Jessica:      She is still with that partner? Okay.

Guest:        Yeah.

Jessica:            When I look at her energetically, it looks like⁠—remember those old cartoons where there would be somebody about to jump out of a window and somebody else running around with a thing to catch them?

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            Your daughter is the one who's running around with the thing trying to catch someone about to fall out the window. That is her⁠—she's kind of hypervigilant and always concerned about, "What could go wrong, and how can I help?" And I think being able to communicate those parts of you that are really at peace and have acceptance with even some of the hard stuff is a good thing to share with her, both so that she's less worried about you⁠—because she is worried about you. You know that your daughter is very worried about you, right?

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            Okay. But also to model it for her because she sees this about you, but she also sees that part of you that's like, "Or we could burn the whole thing down." She knows both parts.

Guest:              That's true.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. She knows you. She knows you. And so she's like, "Okay. So you're calm now, but what could go wrong?" And I do think that she really respects you. She really loves you. And she's scared of what you'll do sometimes. Right?

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            And you're in a place in your life where it's not going to cost you a whole lot to share with her more of your own process around nonattachment and your willingness to run into the flames sometimes and how you understand how hard that is for her, but also how sometimes it's baptismal for you. Sometimes it may be a waste of your energy, but also, it's your choice. And you really love your choice. You're really a fan of that. And I don't think she fully understands that. And so, as we talk about mentoring and sharing, I think that could be really healing for both of you.

Guest:              I worry for her, too. She's beautiful physically, and she has a kindness and almost a naivety about her. And I wanted someone to take care of her, not for her to⁠—I'm not talking about the children. But do you know⁠—a partner that would⁠—

Jessica:            Yeah. Her partner. Yeah. Her partner does not do that, eh?

Guest:              Not a bit.

Jessica:            No. Uh-uh. What you're calling naivety is⁠—I would say she believes if she takes care of the people she loves, that she will get love. We're talking about her partner. This is not a person who takes responsibility for who he is. He is completely comfortable with assuming that she'll do it, and she will do it, so he's not wrong. It doesn't make her happy. But the bottom line is she doesn't want to be the drama, and she's willing to wear herself down so that she's not the drama.

                        And as much as this is not great and it's not what you want for her, it is not that different than you being willing to run into buildings that are on fire. This is like the classic thing where the child does the opposite of the parent because people think, "Oh, if I do the opposite, then I'm different." But it's just the same because your daughter is constantly putting out fires. Still putting out fires. She didn't set the fires, but she's putting them out. And you're like, "I didn't set the fire, but I might see what it looks like to have fire in my hair." You just have a different way of engaging with it.

                        Part of what I can tell you she needs is just validation that⁠—she believes that she's the only one who can put out fires for other people. And she does deserve validation that she does a great job⁠—

Guest:              Oh yeah.

Jessica:            ⁠—because if you try to tell her, "Hey, you know what? It's not your fire. You don't have to put it out," she'll go and defend the person who started the fire. But if you just validate that she's doing a great job putting out fires, eventually, she'll be like, "But you know I didn't set them, right?" And that's what you want because your daughter has your rebelliousness. Your daughter has your strength of will. It's just that she's applying it in the opposite way that you did. Right?

Guest:              Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            So that's the best way that you can help her. And I want to ask, is she trying to get you to live with her?

Guest:              I don't think⁠—well, it wouldn't work with the way that the situation is.

Jessica:            It wouldn't. Yeah.

Guest:              But she worries because I live alone, even though I'm not⁠—I'm 15 minutes away from her. I think she worries that she's going to call up one day and I'm not going to be able to⁠—do you know what I mean?

Jessica:            Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. So I'm going to give you this advice. And is she open to astrology?

Guest:              She was the one that insisted that I⁠—

Jessica:            Okay. Good. Excellent. Then you can share this with her. I think the two of you should sit down one day in your house, not hers⁠—because your house is calmer⁠—and really have a conversation about, well, what are things that you could have? There's, like⁠—whatever. I don't know. They used to have a medical alert bracelet. I don't know if they still have those. I'm assuming they do. If your daughter could research⁠—I don't know⁠—an affordable car service to bring you to and from doctor's appointments.

What are practical things the two of you can put in place, little things that the two of you could put in place? Make a list of them. They don't have to happen overnight. She can tell her husband to do some of these things for you. He is capable. He just needs to be told. Little things like that will make her feel better and actually will make you feel safer, whether or not you need them or want them at this time.

It's partially about you understanding⁠—and this is hard for you because you're so good at knowing what people need on the material and spiritual level. But what your daughter needs is a list that she can check off to know that she did what she could, that she held that⁠—what is it called, the thing that you put under the window? The trampoline. It's like in the cartoons, it's always a trampoline. But that she put the trampoline under the window and that she angled it right.

So that's the nurturance she needs, is that you let her create a list, that you let her tick off boxes. And you can take it personally; you can not take it personally⁠—whatever's easier for you. This is really to help her.

Guest:        Okay.

Jessica:            Yeah, because if, God forbid, anything happened to you in any circumstance, she's not wired to let it go. She's not wired to be okay with it. So these are things that you can do that, honestly, will help you and that are good for you to have in place but will save a lot of mental space for her. And that's worth gold to you, right?

Guest:              Yeah. Okay.

Jessica:            And so part of, I think, the second and the third Saturn Returns are about allowing people to help you, recognizing that it is a form of maturity and wisdom to let people help you, sometimes because you need the help and sometimes because letting people help you is how you build intimacy. It's how you build trust. And there are ways that your daughter helps you that I think are hard for her, but material ways are not hard for her, because she⁠—is she a Capricorn or something? She ticks boxes is what I'm seeing.

Guest:              Yeah. She's October, so⁠—

Jessica:            Oh, so she's Libra.

Guest:              Yeah. She's Libra, and so is my grandson.

Jessica:            Oh.

Guest:              I know. He's the 1st, and she's the 13th.

Jessica:            Okay. Yeah. So these are Libra babies. I mean, she's gotta have some sort of strong Saturn. She's gotta have Cap placements in there or something because she really just feels like somebody who needs to know she's doing things. And do you not really like that kind of help? Do you find it a little grating?

Guest:              No. Well, okay. So, when I had to contact you and stuff⁠—computers are not the easiest things for people in my age range.

Jessica:            Absolutely. Technology is not it.

Guest:              [crosstalk] said, "I don't know women your age that will still act and all of that stuff." The computers and my phone, and I've got Siri sitting over here in this little ball⁠—I think this is so complicated.

Jessica:            It is. You're not wrong. It is complicated.

Guest:              [crosstalk], "Okay. You're talking about lists. We're going to write down exactly what you're going to do so you can talk to her." So we had five steps, and I thought, "Oh dear Lord. Please don't let it be another step that I miss because I"⁠—you know. So she was very careful. I said, "Okay. So there's five steps." And it was okay. But I think what bothers me with her a lot of times⁠—she's trying to do 1,000 things⁠—

Jessica:            1,000 things. Yeah. Yeah. That's right.

Guest:              ⁠—at one time. And it got so bad one time that she said, "I can't move. I can't raise my arms." And she [indiscernible 00:38:17], "This is terrible."

Jessica:            Oh, that's awful.

Guest:              [crosstalk] should go.

Jessica:            No, it isn't. So let me throw in a rule for the rules, okay? I think your daughter would do well with knowing that if there's more than three steps, you're probably not going to get it with technology. Five steps is too many steps. Three steps is the max. And if there's technology that she thinks you can benefit from that takes more than three steps, the answer is she's wrong. Because there are so many humans alive of your generation, there are simple technologies. She might not be using them. She might need to google it to find out what they are. But you're right that signing a contract online, for instance, which is what you're referring to⁠—I would say 50 percent of people don't know how to do that. But the people who do all the time are just like, "Oh, this is easy."

                        And it's just like there's so many things with technology that it's not intuitive, and I think it makes sense. But I understand why your daughter would want you to have all these things, because they make you feel safer and she feels like she's giving you services that she couldn't personally give you. So I think the thing to tell her is, "Here's the new rule. If there's more than three steps, it's not the right technology." And that'll make your life a lot easier because you can follow three steps; put a Post-it on it.

Guest:              Exactly.

Jessica:            But five steps is two steps too many is what I'm seeing for you. And that is perfectly freaking fine. It is fine. And as much as in the course of your life⁠—and when you were her age, you would sometimes make decisions where people were like, "Why would you take that path? That is a very long and dangerous path. Why that path?" Right? People might have had that attitude. Your daughter has the same stubbornness around taking care of other people. And I want to just keep on reminding you of that because it'll make it easier for you to understand because you look at her and you're like, "Just stop doing it, and then it won't be so bad." And how many times did you hear that when you were her age, right?

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            I mean, it doesn't work. What works is validating what the person is doing so that they can then be like, "Oh, but I don't have to do this. Why do you think I have to do this?" Let her rebellion not be against what you're saying. Let her rebellion be against her own choices. You know what I mean?

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Which is really around how she takes care of others. Is there a boy grandchild?

Guest:              Yes.

Jessica:            Just one?

Guest:              Just one.

Jessica:            Does he spend a fair amount of time with you?

Guest:              Not enough. He spends a lot of time alone.

Jessica:            Okay. So he's really standing out as⁠—this would be a good relationship in terms of mentorship. He could stand⁠—if there's technology things for you to learn, he should be coming over to teach you the damn technology.

Guest:              I think I'll bring that up.

Jessica:            Yeah. He's the one. And he'll be terrible at it, just forewarned. This is for him more than you, right?

Guest:              Right.

Jessica:            He will be terrible at it. But for him to learn how to be patient and how to explain things and how to engage will be so powerful for him. And he's a great kid.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            He's just having a real hard time.

Guest:              He's creative, and he's⁠—

Jessica:            He is.

Guest:              People have said to me, "Was that your [indiscernible 00:41:23]? He is gorgeous."

Jessica:            I think he's a little psychic. He's touched in the way that you are, but he's a boy. And it's a lot harder for boys to allow themselves to have those sensitivities. I think he's had a really hard time living through the horrors of America and also just COVID and all of these things. I think it's been really rough on him, honestly. And I think he does well in controlled environments. So he's just in his room playing video games. Is that his thing?

Guest:              Right.

Jessica:            Yeah. He's into music, eh?

Guest:              Oh gosh, yes.

Jessica:            Here's what I'm seeing. Talk to him about music. If you have records or music in the house, expose him to old music, music that you really love, that you think he would love. I'm seeing music. Force him to come over to teach Grandma how to do the thing with technology, but then sneak attack him into talking about music and connecting with you. It will really help him, and it will be really lovely for you.

                        And again, we're kind of back to the first thing you shared, which is around mentorship. I don't think mentorship is exclusive to people we don't know. It's also within family. And he's just really overwhelmed by the world, and he doesn't see a future or a place in it. I mean, I don't know what's going on with his mental health. I earnestly do not know. I'm not looking at that. But I'm saying that's a very well-adjusted take on the world.

To be a really young person today is quite frightening because things feel really dire. And he's depressed. He just looks depressed, honestly. And I think music will help him to get out of it. I think spending time alone with you outside of his family dynamic could also be really helpful. And honestly, I think you'd enjoy it. And I think your daughter would be really grateful for it on a lot of levels because she can't be with you as much as she wants to be. And I think if your grandson had more space at your house, that might actually be really nice, again, for literally everybody in the family. So we're going to just throw that into the mix.

Guest:        Okay.

Jessica:            Yeah. And I'll say, again, you're going through your Uranus Return. Uranus is conjunct Uranus. And this is ideally a time where your wisdom that is won through lived experience is shared with younger generations, different generations. Uranus is about difference. Again, whether it's your grandchild, your child, or a bunch of people that you're connected to through work or play, there's a reason why it feels so important to you right now. I mean, I really think it is that important to you.

                        The last thing that I'm seeing that we should just check is around your own physical health. Are you comfortable talking about that?

Guest:              Yeah. Sure.

Jessica:            Okay. So your digestive system is⁠—it's like you can eat less things now, eh?

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            I want to validate that, because it looks like sometimes you listen to your stomach, and sometimes you're like, "No. I know I like this food. I'm going to eat what I want," and then you suffer.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            So I would say listen to your body because it's changed. It's just changed, okay? You cannot eat all the things anymore. The other thing is, how are your gums?

Guest:              Yes. I've had a lot of trouble with my gums.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Guest:              And I'm going to have two implants.

Jessica:            Oh no.

Guest:              So I've been taking care of that as best I can at this point.

Jessica:            They haven't given you a NightGuard?

Guest:              I did have one long ago, and I don't know what I did with it.

Jessica:            I think it would help your gums, basically, if you were wearing a NightGuard. I think, a lot of times, dentists don't prescribe it because it's preventative and because it's expensive. Even with insurance, I think it's like $1,000 or something, which is expensive. But they're really great at protecting your gums. So do you use a Waterpik?

Guest:              I haven't, but I guess I⁠—I do have an electric brush that⁠—

Jessica:            Good. Electric brush. I would recommend⁠—I mean, don't take medical advice from an astrologer, obviously. But also, you know you've got gum issues. So a Waterpik is a really helpful tool. And they have them that you can use in the shower because a lot of people just don't like how Waterpiks make your whole face wet, and there's nothing graceful about them. So you can use them in the shower, too.

                        If you are interested in doing that, that's the kind of thing you tell your daughter because she can handle that for you, and she will feel happy to handle that for you so you don't have to navigate it. And how are your bones, your joints and your bones?

Guest:              Oh, well, I had a knee replacement in 2016, I think.

Jessica:            Recent.

Guest:              And I need to replace the other one. Well, in the meantime, COVID came along. And after COVID, I get a letter from⁠—hospital from special surgery saying that they discovered that the knee that they've been using to replace the knee had been failing⁠—

Jessica:            Oh my God.

Guest:              ⁠—and that if I'm having any pain, that I should come in and they'll x-ray. And of course, if they have to replace the⁠— and I thought, oh my God. I haven't even done this other leg.

Jessica:            Oh no. Have you been having problems with it?

Guest:              Well, I haven't really. But both of my knees have been hurting lately. And I thought the last thing I need to do [indiscernible 00:46:46]. They won't do both of them at the same time because it's just too dangerous⁠—

Jessica:            Right. It's too dangerous.

Guest:              ⁠—because you can't walk.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. You can't recover the knee if both of them are going through it, so they pace it out.

Guest:              Yeah. I mean, I used to exercise all the time. And I've gained weight. And I discovered that my arch⁠—I had a pretty high arch in my right leg. I'm probably ten pounds or whatever overweight. And exercising and not having the proper shoes on, I probably pushed the⁠—you know. So now I'm using arch support because I don't want it to happen anymore.

Jessica:            Great. Good. So this is what I'm going to say about the knee situation. You could probably stand to do specific exercises to support your knee, and they should be willing to prescribe you some PT. It's another damn appointment for you to have to manage every week. But within that, if you meet with a PT, you could say, "Tell me exactly what videos to watch on YouTube so I can do this at home," because you are somebody who will exercise at home, eh⁠?

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            ⁠If it's easy enough to do. And so, honestly, your daughter doesn't have the greatest knees either, so the two of you could try to do this together sometimes. I think that you could use a little bit more movement. Within that, I don't mean exercising like you used to. I mean you could do chair exercises. If there's a Y nearby, water aerobics is⁠—

Guest:              Well, that's what I do. I have one across the street.

Jessica:            Good.

Guest:              And I also take SilverSneakers. And another one is stretching because when I figured out⁠—it's not that I need more muscle, necessarily.

Jessica:            Correct. It's the stretching.

Guest:              Because I have strong⁠—

Jessica:            Yep.

Guest:              And you think, okay, if you're smart, then that means that this stuff has moved south. So I'm heavier than I [crosstalk].

Jessica:            Yeah. I don't think it's a weight problem, to be honest. Because you have a Mars/Saturn conjunction and it's getting kind of triggered right now, what it is is about constriction of the muscles. So it's not related to gaining weight, which⁠—honestly, the gaining of weight is⁠—it looks to me like it's actually very protective and good for you. It doesn't look like it's an unhealthy gaining of weight. I mean, maybe like four of the ten pounds are. Your weight looks fine.

                        To me, it's the constriction. It's the tightness of your muscle. So the stretching is really it. That's why I'm like, "PT." The physical therapy is going to really just be about stretching the muscle groups around those knees.

Guest:              Okay.

Jessica:            That's what I'm looking at because your thighs⁠—I'm guessing they're like thighs of steel. You got tight thighs. Am I right about that?

Guest:              Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. And that's not just muscle. That's tightness. And that tightness can be really⁠—it makes the knees, which have been doing the Lord's work for 84 years⁠—they need greater support. The only other thing that shows up for me is, how's your cardiovascular health?

Guest:              Well, I won't be able to see her until, I think, near the end of the year. That's another thing that everybody's going through. The doctors are retiring, and you can't get an appointment.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Guest:              And I think I have a little bit of plaque, or I've had cardio⁠—I don't know what it's called, but a little bit of fluid around my heart, but nothing⁠—

Jessica:            That's what it looks like. It looks like there's nothing serious, but it's a really important organ, and it's something⁠—kind of like you go to the dentist every quarter. I think your heart health could use a little⁠—there could be something added to your routine. And that might literally mean meditation, something to bring your system down. And the other thing is making appointments well in advance.

                        And again, your daughter⁠—if you say to her, "I need these appointments. Could you schedule them as far in advance as they let you?" she can do that. That doesn't ruin her life, and it is easier for her than it is for you. It looks like you have classic Pisces problems. You keep on putting that off, and then all of a sudden, it's a year from now instead of four months from now.

                        So let your daughter help you with that because she would rather help you make an appointment than worry that you haven't had it. It's less stress for her to make the appointment than worry. And you're just not great at letting her help you with this stuff because you don't want to have to have help with this stuff. To me, this seems like less of an age thing and more of a Pisces problem. So with that do as you will.

                        But overall, you look really healthy. Am I seeing that correctly? Did I kind of point to all the major health stuff?

Guest:              Yeah. Absolutely. I have this thing where I have to like who's going to work on my body. I think if I can get PT and it helps⁠—I used to get gel shots. That's how long I've had⁠—

Jessica:            Oh, wow.

Guest:              Yeah.

Jessica:            Oh, wow. Yeah.

Guest:              To replace the fluid around my knee.

Jessica:            Do they still do gel shots?

Guest:              Yeah, they still do. Yeah.

Jessica:            Uh-huh. They still do.

Guest:              I'm privy because someone mentioned it, and I said, "I used to do that years ago." I just stopped because I got to the point where I didn't think they were doing any good.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah.

Guest:              Your body changes, so maybe they would be helpful again.

Jessica:            I mean, it's certainly worth prioritizing trying to find a better knee doctor. But it's like navigating the healthcare system is a full-time job, and you have to be dealing with online stuff and the phone and all this kind of stuff. And it is possible that one of your grandkids could help you with that, too. But I do think you need help with this stuff because it is a real pain in the butt, and it's kind of a lot of labor, a lot of luck. The American healthcare system is terrible. And I don't think anything is made better by the fact that COVID is spiking again. So, again, the healthcare system is further taxed and all this kind of stuff.

                        Overall, you are really healthy, especially for your mid-80s. And everything you can do to protect and maintain that is a gift, right?

Guest:              That's right. I'm going to look into all of those things, about getting the NightGuard again.

Jessica:            Yes. If you see your dentist every quarter, ask about it. See if you're eligible to get it for free or for cheap. And if the answer is yes, do that. And if the answer is no, ask your dentist what the best brand is because some of them are just like⁠—they're not great. They're really not great. And you don't want to mess with your teeth, and you're not going to wear it if it's uncomfortable and bulky. You're not going to wear a football player thing, right? So it has to be perfect.

                        Now, I want to check in one more time. Did we answer all your major questions?

Guest:              Yeah. My health was one of the concerns.

Jessica:            I don't think anyone has an easy time navigating the healthcare system. I really don't. I really don't think anybody does. This is definitely one of those things that I would encourage you to ask for help with because I think it's like if you have someone in your life that is good at sitting around and multitasking while they're on hold, that's the person to help you. And that's your daughter.

Guest:              That was her dad. That was her dad.

Jessica:            Oh. That was her dad.

Guest:              He could write a check, talk on the phone, and talk to me all at the same time.

Jessica:            Yep. Yep. Yeah, and that must be where your daughter gets it because she has that skill. It's just that she's doing 30 things instead of 3 things. I do think that this is something that you could really use help with because once it's in place, then your care is in place, and then she doesn't have to worry about you.

Guest:              Right. Yeah.

Jessica:            So that's really, I think, going to be the thing that really helps. And maybe⁠—hope against hope⁠—it would inspire her to have her husband or her partner do more for the kids or around the house or the things that he can do so that she can help you more. Hopefully, she'll ask him for support as you ask her for support, and there's some sort of a flow of people taking care of each other instead of her taking care of everybody. Right?

Guest:              Exactly.

Jessica:            Yeah. I mean, again, I cross my fingers. But this is my great hope for this situation. I'm just really glad that you reached out and we got to do this because this is such a massive time in your life. Even though you're pre-Saturn Return, it's such a massive time in life, and it's such a privilege to get here. And you have so much good happening in your life, and I see still so much coming your way. And that's just⁠—I don't know. It's really cool. It's like a really great validation.

Guest:              Yeah. I am grateful, and that's one of the things that keeps me alive, gratitude and seeing whatever craziness is going on in the world but looking around and saying, "You know, when I've needed help, help has shown up."

Jessica:            Yeah. Well, this has been an absolute joy. I thank you so much.

Guest:              Thank you, Jessica.

Jessica:            My pleasure.