Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Welcome back to Ghost. The astrology of last week was very intense, and it was likely to have kicked up some⁠—I don't know⁠—it could have been personality conflicts between you and other people. It could have brought things to the surface so that you finally dealt with them. Maybe it was a little hard, but it was good. Maybe it was a little hard and not so good. But it was likely to have been a confronting time and a time where you felt pretty stressed out or the people around you felt stressed out, right? So that was last week.

This week, the astrology is a lot more gentle, I'm so happy to say. But before I break down the transits and tell you about the very special offering I have in this episode, I want to just acknowledge that while astrologers⁠—we break down horoscopes, right? So I'm looking every week from Sunday to Saturday. In reality, the way that life works is that just because a transit is over doesn't mean how it impacted you and your life is all of a sudden over. Astrology simply articulates the ebbs and flows, the highs and lows, and gives us a language for understanding it and a sense of what we're meant to get from it.

So, again, I just want to acknowledge last week was a lot. And the supportive transits of this week could really lull you into feeling better. You may feel better. You may do better. You may tap into the resources available to you so that you have more support. You may show up for a person to be of support, which helps them and you, ultimately, because kindness has a way of doing that. Or you may kind of stick your head in the sand because that's always the risk with the, quote unquote, "easier" positive transits, right, is that we don't continue to deal with the difficulties in our lives because nothing's forcing us to.

However this week's astrology lands for you, I just want to remind you that when things kind of ease up and are not as demanding is actually the best time to deal with them, not the worst time. Otherwise, what happens is you're essentially unintentionally waiting for those more challenging transits to come back around and force your hand. So just a little something to think about, okay?

Now, because there are only a couple of transits, which I will of course run through for you, I wanted to share something that I did on November 2nd. So you may remember that I was promoting a talk I was giving live in San Francisco at the Witches Confluence. And I'm so excited to be able to share that talk in full here with you today. So we're going to do your horoscope, and then stick around to listen to my talk called Boundaries in Chaotic Times.

If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that boundaries are something I'm really passionate about. And I believe that it is always a good time to cultivate more sensitivity, awareness, and skills around having healthy boundaries, especially for people who are empathic or are highly sensitive just in general related to the woo, right? In particular, with Mars Retrograde and the ongoing opposition between Mars and Pluto, which is a very confronting transit, we really need to have healthy, embodied boundaries. And that's hard. It's just hard.

So my hope for you is that you get a lot of value out of this talk. I was so honored to be the keynote at the Witches Confluence, and there were so many other amazing speakers there. You can go to the Witches Confluence website to learn more about their work because they have both in-person⁠—which is in San Francisco, California⁠—and also online events. And you can also check out the Witches Confluence podcast hosted by Karima and Casey. All of it's going to be linked in show notes. So you can learn more about the speakers, listen to their podcast, and get connected to the Witches Confluence community and tap into the Modern Witches conference, again, from back in November 2024.

Okay. All that said, let's get into your horoscope. So we start off the week with our first exact transit on Tuesday, December the 10th. Now, I want to say we are feeling that Venus conjunction to Pluto that I talked about in last week's horoscope through Monday, basically. Ditto on the Sun/Jupiter opposition, okay? So we're feeling it on Sunday all day, and then the dregs happen on Monday. So there's vibes. And if you want a reminder on those transits, just look at the transcript or relisten to last week's episode.

Okay. So, on Tuesday the 10th at exactly 9:49 a.m. Pacific Time, the Sun will be at exactly 19 degrees and 10 minutes of Sagittarius, and Chiron will be at the same degrees of Aries. The Sun is your identity and your sense of self. It's your center and the light that emanates within you. So, when we're dealing with the Sun's energies, we're dealing with our sense of resiliency and strength. And Chiron is core wounding.

Having these two forces form a nice trine to each other can bring about a willingness and ability to heal. Sometimes with this transit, and especially if it hits your chart directly in just the right way, you can feel a sense of, like, "Oh fuck. It clicked. I get it." And it can allow you to move past something, release something, understand something⁠—whatever is relevant to how it hits your chart.

This transit can spark self-awareness. It can find you in a situation where you feel seen or known or validated in a way that's authentically healing; it just does something. And I should contextualize⁠—when I say healing, I don't mean everything is healed and everything is perfect. But healing is a process, right? Healing is an evolutionary experience. And so it facilitates your evolution to some extent or another.

The Sun trine to Chiron is a good time to be brave, to take risks, to be open to experiencing yourself or the world in ways that are typically a little bit triggering and activating. This transit empowers you to heal and to evolve in a way that in other moments would be much harder. Now, again, a little context⁠—this lovely transit is happening while Mercury and Mars are both Retrograde. And if you're really feeling thirsty or hungry for more Mars Retrograde content, you can join me over on Patreon on the free level. Just become a member. It doesn't cost you any money or anything, and I've got a Mars Retrograde video dropping December the 8th. And you can check out the other offerings I have. I've also been making an effort to post to social media a little bit more lately, so you can catch me mainly on Instagram talking about Mars Retrograde stuff as well.

Okay. Now, our last two exact transits of the week occur on the same day. They're both happening on Thursday, December the 12th. At 2:46 a.m. Pacific Time, Venus is at almost 6 degrees of Aquarius, and Mars Retrograde is at almost 6 degrees of Leo; it's 5 degrees and 58 minutes. So we have a Venus/Mars opposition. Then, several hours later at 11:45 p.m. Pacific Time, we've got Mercury at almost 7 degrees of Sagittarius forming an exact sextile to Venus at the same degrees of Aquarius. These two planets will be at 6 degrees and 58 minutes.

So a couple things to know. The first is both of these transits are lovely. There's nothing too bananas happening here. But what's interesting is Venus is forming an aspect to both of the Retrograde planets. So that tells us this is a very Retrograde moment. This day will be very Retrogrady. That doesn't mean it's bad. Certainly, there are challenges with the Retrogrades, but Retrogrades really just want us to reflect and review. They throw us curveballs, right? They mess up plans. They can sometimes waylay clarity.

And because both Mars and Mercury Retrogrades are forming transits to or from Venus, we know that one of a couple of things is going to be involved. One is your values. Venus opposite Mars is a gut check on your values, Venus being your values and Mars embodiment of, mobilization from. The other is your relationships. It's how much you give and how much you take in the case of the Venus/Mars opposition, and in the case of Mercury and Venus sextile, this is really about getting along, communicating your values, sharing what you value and your values in general.

So this may translate in a number of different ways. It's a great time for making art, for socializing, for connecting with people. It's a great time for playing, just doing something goofy with people who enjoy your brand of goof. This is also a great couple of transits for flirting, whether it's flirting with somebody that you're dating or that you have a sexual relationship with, but I don't know; there's lots of ways that we flirt that are inherently platonic that are not about sex or even romance. These transits are good for that, for all of it.

Both of these transits are an invitation to connect, to connect and reconnect to your ideas, to the activities you enjoy, to your ambitions, to the people you're connected to, and to the things that you hold dear. And because Mercury and Mars are both Retrograde, it may be more of an internal than an external process. You may be revisiting relationship shit that is a little challenging or that simply needs your attention and hasn't maybe been getting it. You may be following through on something with someone or with a project that is just not complete yet. Whatever it is, these are lovely transits. There is nothing to fear and nothing to worry about, but a lot of positive potential for you to tap into. And that, my friends, is this week in the stars.

Very briefly, I can repeat on the 10th we've got a Sun trine to Chiron, and then on the 12th, Venus is opposite Mars Retrograde, and Mercury Retrograde is sextile to Venus. Now, get comfy and enjoy my talk on boundaries in chaotic times.

Casey:          Hi. Welcome back. How has your day been? Good? That's great to hear. Okay. Well, we're all excited. I can feel it. And I am so excited to welcome Jessica Lanyadoo to the podium to speak about energetic boundaries in chaotic times because here we are. It's a bit crazy out there. But I gotta say it's been a real respite being with you all today, so thank you for showing up in such an amazing way. And without further ado, welcome, Jessica.

Jessica:            Hi. It's so exciting to be here, and you guys are great. And I wish we could start with a group hug, but that would be wrong. So we won't do that. But thank you so much for having me, Witches Confluence, and thank you guys for being here. I am here to talk about energy boundaries.

What I'm going to do⁠—I'm just going to give you a brief outline. I'm just going to talk about energy boundaries⁠—how to have them, the practice of them. Then I'm going to give you a little very woo energy work tip, like how to hide yourself if you're doing political action through energy work. And then we're going to do a damn Q&A for 30 minutes, so I'm very excited about that. You will be miked when it's time to ask a question, so there will be hands and⁠—you guys have done questions before. Okay.

I should say that I am recovering from COVID. And it was like my guides were like, "Oh, you want to give a talk on boundaries? Let's create the very conditions where you're going to have to have a boundary crisis around your boundary talk." So, unfortunately, I have come here late today, and also, I may cough my brains out. And I apologize in advance. I will apologize again if it happens.

So energy boundaries. Boundaries are my obsession. And the thing that I think is foundational to having boundaries is being present in your body. And the problem with being present in your body is so many things, especially if you're scared, if you're overwhelmed, if you're exhausted, if you're hopeless. If you're dealing with any kind of challenging emotion and you get grounded in your body, you greet your body, then you feel it.

And the problem that I see a lot of people encounter when they go to do energy work or practice alignment is you start to tap into your body, and then you feel what you're feeling, which, again, is often rough. And then what most people do is they say to themselves, "Well, what am I doing wrong? I got grounded. I practiced alignment, and now I feel really bad."

And so I think it's really important to start the conversation of having energy boundaries with an acknowledgment that having energy boundaries doesn't mean feeling good all the time, and⁠—thank you for nodding because you know what I'm talking about⁠—it means being able to tap in and stay present with, be aligned with, what you feel when you feel it. And that's hard.

And right now, I mean, I'm assuming we all are just freaking out at least a little bit. It's a really frightening time. And I don't want to blow your mind, but the astrology for the next little while is just damn bananas. It is not getting better. So⁠—sorry. Invite me to a party. I'm so much fun. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. But yeah. So it is rough. And so, if we are to participate as people of conscience, as spiritual people, as people who care and want to make a difference and be a part of the positive potential in the world, unfortunately what we must do is be able to experience our emotions.

And I think a lot of us on a spiritual path⁠—we want to bypass that step because feeling emotions is hard, and it's slow. And your mind and your spirit can say, "I'm going to align with what's possible," and all these things are possible. And then you tap into your heart, and your heart's like, "Ugh. Remember all the times it didn't happen?" Fear, insecurity, all that kind of stuff. And because it's so hard to stay high vibe when you're in your emotions, a lot of us abandon ourselves. And the bottom line is, in order to maintain energy boundaries, we must be able to tolerate our emotions, which nobody can do all the time. And for those of us who are really good at it, we're always really bad at it, too. You know what I mean? It's a practice.

And so I want to just take a moment to invite you to set the intention that the next time you feel cruddy to not assume that something's wrong with you, but instead to just acknowledge that's how you're feeling. I mean, I know it sounds really simple, but how often do you do that? Right? Being able to simply stay present with, tolerate, be kind to yourself is transformative. And I'm assuming⁠—I feel like I could do a show of hands. Anyone here a highly sensitive person, an empath? Anyone? Kind of thought so.

So okay. Thank you. Thank you for laughing at that because I thought it was funny, too. Okay. So here's the thing that we all struggle with, the highly sensitive, the empaths, is the difference between empathy and merging, right? Okay. Yeah. Okay. So empathy, both the energetic condition of being an empath or a highly sensitive person, but also the practice of empathy, like the psychological and emotional practice, is really about being able to feel, to tap in and to feel. It's an expanded condition of feeling, which is both emotional and sensation-based.

Merging, my friends, is not the same fucking thing. And merging is what most of us do a lot of the time. Merging disconnects you from your center. It pulls you out of yourself and taxes your energy. And what most of us have experienced is complete exhaustion, collapse, disintegration because we are so overwhelmed by what's happening with our partner, our mom, the fucking world. And I'm so sorry in advance if I'm not supposed to cuss. I didn't ask, but I'm going to⁠—okay. I'm cussing. I'm cussing. I'm doing it more. Okay. Sorry, but it's hard to talk about the world and not say "the fucking world," right?

And especially the last several years, and in the last year watching genocides on our phones day in and day out, I don't think it's likely that anyone in this room has not experienced collapse, has not experienced just⁠—how do you not fall apart? And some of that is a very healthy human response to what we're experiencing and what we're seeing, and some of that is a result of merging, losing your center, losing alignment.

When we lose alignment, we cannot have impact. And my hope for you and for us is that we each find our way of being impactful in our lives and in the world. And that's going to look different at different times. Right now, there's not a lot going on in the world, obviously. But astrologically, there is a lot going on. Mars is going to be exactly opposite to Pluto tomorrow for the first time, and that is going to reoccur two more times again.

So, basically, for the next six months-plus, we're going through this extremely challenging transit of Mars opposite Pluto. And Pluto is related to your survival mechanisms. It's fight, flight, fawn. It's, "Oh my God, I'm going to die." "Oh my God, we're all going to die." It's terror, and it's not just your survival mechanisms that come from your lived experience. They're inherited trauma. So I know probably no one here has any inherited trauma, but a lot of people do. Sorry again. Sorry. We all do.

So what I want to say is that Pluto⁠—when it is activated in you, it triggers trauma, your relationship to trauma, your substance abuse stuff, your self-harm, your willingness to run off a cliff because you're trying to get away from a feeling. You know, we all have that. Mars is the body. It's your meat suit. It's your muscles and your red blood cells. Mars governs how you drive your car. It's how you move through the world, so literally how you drive your car and metaphorically how you drive your car. It's how you move through the world. And Mars is also related to the ego and defenses and assertion and ambition, passion.

And going through a Mars opposition to Pluto, which is a transit that will usually last like a couple days⁠—you know what I mean? Not weeks, not months. A couple days. It triggers survival issues. And we've been experiencing this for the last few weeks. It's exact tomorrow, November 3rd. But we've been experiencing it already since mid-October, so you already have a sense of this energy in your experience. And it's activating.

What it does is it triggers us as individuals to experience what we're experiencing even though it feels really activating, scary, like you're falling off a cliff. And because it's involving Mars, it's requiring each of us to tap into our meat suits, our bodies. Our bodies are the one thing that from the very start of this mortal coil to the very end are with you. And our bodies hold our emotions. We're so identified with our thoughts. It's our emotions that really help⁠—they're the bridge. They help with energy work. They help with spiritual alignment. They help with our health in general.

And what we are on call to deal with here as individuals is how to get present in the body and experience the body, not abandon the body, when we are activated and scared, when we are defensive and angry. And some of us vibe well with anger⁠—love it. A friend to anger. And some of us just cannot vibe with anger and go into demoralization, exhaustion, helplessness.

It doesn't matter, heads or tails, how you experience this energy. This is how you experience this energy. It doesn't matter where you are. Don't judge it. There's no value in judging it. And we're all going to judge ourselves. That's what Mars opposite Pluto does. The reason why so many people in New Age and witchy and other spiritual communities go into love and light bullshit or⁠—thank you, yeah, for agreeing or⁠—obviously, right⁠—or into really actually kind of aggressive, defensive "This is the truth, and this is the only truth" kind of stuff is because of a lack of emotional embodiment and presence.

And so I want to invite you to develop a practice for the next six months or so of returning to your body and acknowledging how you feel and giving yourself permission to feel what you feel and to see if you can actually just be a nice person to yourself. Pretend you're friends with yourself and that you're⁠—right? We have to pretend sometimes. So you have to pretend that you're friends with yourself and treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.

I was talking to a friend about this talk about boundaries, and she was just like, "Ah. Boundaries. I hate boundaries, the whole concept of boundaries." So we had this conversation, and it kind of crystallized in this conversation for me where boundaries are only walls, right? They're only walls or fences when⁠—I mean, sometimes they're walls or fences because they need to be walls or fences, right? That's real. But a lot of the time, they're walls or fences simply because we're not aligned. So we hold the boundary too aggressively, too defensively, because we're not actually embodying the boundary.

So, instead of thinking of a boundary as a wall, I want to give you this very simple visual. Boundaries are like city parks⁠—I don't know, like Golden Gate Park. You know when you're in the park, and you know when you're in the city. There doesn't have to be a wall. There's a couple walls around certain flowers. You know what I mean? We gotta be careful with certain things. But for the most part, I know when I'm standing in the park versus when I'm standing in the city because it's a clear⁠—the embodiment is the demarcation.

When you practice embodiment, which requires giving yourself permission to feel what you feel, even if you wish you didn't or you think you shouldn't⁠—when you practice embodiment, you don't have to constantly, like, "Do-do-do-do. This is my boundary." You get to just practice being. So, if the boundary is, "I don't want to talk about this with you," then you don't have to explain it more than twice. Twice is nice. Thrice is fine. After that, you just change the subject. You leave the room. You just embody the boundary. There's no need to defend something that you've given yourself permission to be in alignment with. And of course, there are situations where that just doesn't work. But it's a practice worth embodying.

And during this Mars opposition to Pluto, it's not going to work. I promise you that it's not going to work all the time. It's not going to work in your self-talk in your relationship to yourself. It's not going to work with other people at times. It's not going to work with this group against that group. And it's still a practice worth embracing because we don't have to have perfection in order to be in alignment.

Now⁠—okay. This other thing I want to say about boundaries is that a lot of us struggle with boundaries because we're looking outside of ourselves for validation. We're like, "Okay. So I gave you the boundary. Is it okay? Are we still friends? Do you think I'm being mean?" Okay. You get it. And this is a really good example of abandoning yourself, separating yourself from alignment, and instead looking outside of yourself for, "Am I right or am I wrong? Am I good or am I bad?" You can be wrong. You get to be wrong, actually. You get to articulate your boundary and then realize that you did it weird or wrong or rude. And then you can just be like a normal person and be like, "Oh shit. I did that. Sorry." It's okay.

You get to be wrong. And each and every time you're right doesn't make you a special person, and each and every time you're wrong doesn't make you a terrible person. You're just living your life. And if you can practice giving yourself the space to just be a person who is fallible, then it'll be easier to let other people be people who are fallible, who fuck up, who do it wrong. We have a tendency to be carceral, to punish other people, to punish ourselves⁠. Fucking Mars opposite Pluto is going to "Uh-uh-uh" that. I hope that made sense. Nonverbal, but okay. Thank you. And so we want to watch that in ourselves, watch that in our relationships, watch that in our communities.

Acceptance is hard. If you can accept, "I made a mistake," if you can actually just accept it, then you don't have to defend it. You don't have to punish yourself. You can just be like, "Oh, I made a mistake. What do I do about that?" And often, it's just acknowledge the mistake. Be humble. Learn from it. Move the fuck on.

Okay. Now, I promised you something that I want to talk about. It's a real shift, okay? But I really wanted to share this with you guys. Something that a friend of mine actually taught me years back⁠—does anyone here do spiritual activism, like energy work stuff? Show of hands. A little bit. A little. Okay. Okay. All right. A little bit. This is for you.

If you are doing any kind of energy work where you are working with powers that be⁠—we're talking about people or organizations that are doing real evil and harm⁠—and my favorite way to do that is by lighting them up so the world can see them, instead of by trying to direct things. I don't want to assume that I know what the hell is happening in the world. So being able to simply light up people who are doing evil is actually a really great tool.

But if you are going to do that kind of work, you want to be careful because you have to assume that people are doing energy work on all sides of all kinds of big world events. And I was doing this kind of energy work with a friend, and we could feel⁠—as we started to move into their sphere, we could feel pushing up against people's energies, people who were doing energy work on the other side. And we were like, "Oh shit. This is actually really dangerous."

And so what my friend kind of decided and what we now do is you can proxy yourself into the Sun. Proxy yourself into the Sun. So, in other words, throw your energy up into the Sun because no matter how bright your light is, the Sun is brighter. No shade. Get it? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Some people don't like puns. Whatever. So you can proxy yourself into the Sun, and that way, you are safe without diminishing your light or making yourself smaller. You don't need to make yourself smaller.

And this works if you're moving through⁠—like you are feeling yourself. You are feeling yourself. You're taking public transit. You're going to a thing, but you don't want to be seen by all the people in the world. Proxy. You know what I mean? There's lots of ways of doing energy work to shield yourself without dimming your light, and it's worth exploring those. And I wanted to make sure to give you that because my hope is that as you discover your power and you return to your body and you practice alignment with yourself, that you'll find your ways⁠—and for a lot of us who are empaths⁠—I am of the mind that being an empath doesn't mean turn away from the world; turn away from the news. It means you are sensitive to things that you're meant to be a part of. Why else would you be sensitive to them? So finding ways to participate that are at the level that you're at⁠—accept where you're starting from⁠—and that you can make an impact with are⁠—is just so powerful.

So I think I'm around⁠—and I don't know time. I think I'm around my time. Oh, I got a couple more minutes. But I feel like I could answer questions unless⁠—does anyone have questions? Okay. Great. There's questions. Okay. I'd love to start taking your questions. And also, I'm going to use a fan because I'm really hot, and that's what's happening. Okay? Thanks. I just didn't want to start doing it and you were like, "What is she doing?" Thank you very much. It's on brand, but also, it's⁠—thank you. Oh, thank you. Also, perimenopause, so⁠—no clapping for perimenopause? Come on. Come on. Thank you. Thank you.

Participant 1:      Hi, Jessica.

Jessica:      Hi.

Participant 1:  I'm curious about your practices around boundaries when doing mediumship with people who have died, and how do you maintain energetic integrity while you're speaking with them and afterward? What's your thing with that? Because⁠—

Jessica:            That's a great question. And are you a medium as well?

Participant 1:  Yes.

Jessica:            So okay. As a medium, my experience is that it is the number-one most important time to stay in alignment because the second you lose yourself⁠—I don't know how it works for you, but dead people can jump into my body. Do you have that experience?

Participant 1:  Yes.

Jessica:            Yes. Okay. So that's awful. It's not good for your physical body because when the dead jump into your body, everything slows down. So it's actually hard on your organs. It's not a great way for your physical body to function. So developing a process with your guidance system to ask for information to come to you but not through your body is⁠—chef's kiss. And what will happen is that you'll get the information a little slower. That's why we have bad boundaries, because it's easier in the short term, right? Yeah.

                        So, when the dead come through, I really practice staying as much in alignment with myself as I can so I can clock where they're at and what they're saying. Also practice saying no to dead people. It's just like saying no to living people. They don't like it all the time. The respectful ones will respect. The disrespectful ones will not. And it kind of is what it is. It is a practice. And in my experience as a medium, there's no way to⁠—I haven't found the way to not get invaded at times.

Participant 1:  To not what?

Jessica:            Get invaded at times. Yeah. I think that's part⁠—as a medium, you have a level of sensitivity that most people don't have. You're walking around gluten-free, lactose-free, can't eat anything⁠—you know what I mean? It's that kind of a thing. And that means that sometimes all your friends are going to be like, "Oh my God. Let's go to this restaurant. It's the best restaurant," and you'll step foot inside, and your body will say no. And you gotta get out. It's about trusting your system. Your navigation system is there for you.

                        And then sometimes, you're going to be like, "All my friends are here. I want to go to the damn restaurant. And I'm going to go to the bathroom first and shield up." It's a practice, and it's really hard to accept that you need to be doing seven million extra things than other people are doing because you want to just be normal and walk around life. So just⁠—again, it's about practicing that. Does that answer that question?

Participant 1:  Yeah. Do you shield up every time you know you're going to have a conversation [indiscernible 00:35:50]?

Jessica:            I shield up 700 times a day. Thank you. Thank you. I shield up in different levels multiple times a day, every day, even when I don't leave the house, yeah, because being a medium is kind of like having a big neon sign over your head for the dead. They can see you, moths to flame. And if you want to turn that light down, it's really hard. I haven't figured out how to do it for the most part. But you can have boundaries and say, "You are not allowed past a certain point."

                        During 2020 and when so many people were dying, I was having a very challenging experience as a medium. I don't know about you, but there were sometimes hundreds of dead people in my home and in my body at a time. And it was really exceptionally taxing. And eventually, I figured out⁠—I went to my backyard. I painted and energized a portal, and I put cookies out. And I put them in a plastic bag because I'm not feeding racoons. Can you hear this fan in the mic? You're okay? Okay. Great. Okay. So I'm not feeding racoons. I put it in a plastic bag. But I was just like, "Come here. Come here, dead, and chill." And then I went out every day, and I helped people cross.

                        So you can do something like that. And working with portals⁠—I'm a huge fan of it. You can create portals, but you want to be careful because they can attract energy. I once told somebody very offhand, like a client very offhand, how to create a portal and do an energy-clearing exercise, and she did it, but she did it weird. She didn't do it like I told her, and she got a rat infestation. So, ever since then, I tell this story, like, "You can get a rat infestation. Don't just mess around with a portal. Be intentional," because I'm not a fan of rats or racoons. So that's the answer. Yeah. My pleasure. My pleasure.

                        Hello.

Participant 2:  Hi. First of all, this was like Ghost of a Podcast times 100, so thank you for that. And also⁠—because Bay Area vibes. Thank you for all the good, bad, and shitty boundaries that you've had over the last few decades to get you where you are today.

Jessica:            Thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Participant 2:  Yeah. And so this is kind of like a big overarching question, but it's got little small subsets. And the first part for me, especially today and yesterday, is the part about dealing with shitty ancestors. Some of us have craptastic people in the vibes from before, and they're not always the most respectful. And I feel like for me personally, I've been able to be like, "You sucked, so stay away," but sometimes they just don't listen. And so I'm working with that.

                        And then the other part is because lineage is⁠—sometimes the living also can be shitty. And so shitty ancestors, shitty people. And then I didn't know this when I was younger, but I know it now, that shitty ancestors and shitty people conditioned me to end up working in shitty systems. And I know more about that now. So the subsets, part A, B, and C, are dealing with shitty ancestors, shitty families, and shitty systems. And then the overarching is how to move through those trajectories a little better.

Jessica:            Yeah. So I personally don't do a lot of ancestor work. Bless you. You got good ancestors? Good on you. I don't fuck with my ancestors. I wouldn't fuck with them alive. I don't fuck with them dead. I don't know how we all are traumatized, and yet we all have ancestors we want to hang out with. That blows my Capricorn mind. It just doesn't make any⁠—the math doesn't math. So I don't do ancestor work. I talk to dead people, but not my relatives very often at all. And I think that that is healthy and normal.

                        So I think it's great to have a hard boundary: no on ancestors. And if they are disrespectful, it's a practice of continuing to just really block them out. But here's the thing. When you have challenging invasive living ancestors as well as ancestors in spirit, that means you have an ancestral pattern of people who invade or cross boundaries. When you have that pattern, what it means is that you have an ancestral pattern, which means it's not just your lived experience; it's in your damn genes, which means you spend your lifetime on it. It doesn't mean you can't work on it. It doesn't mean you can't heal.

                        But it does mean it's harder because some of what you're dealing with is in your genes. It's in your unconscious. So this is where practicing the emotional part is going to be exceptionally helpful for you and also exceptionally slow. It's such slow work. But when it comes to family, if you can, just practicing your limits with them instead of explaining it to them is honestly the most effective move I have found. So I hope that helps. And yeah, if you can, avoid your ancestors. Yes. A big fan of that.

Participant 3:  Hi.

Jessica:            Hi.

Participant 3:  I love you. My question for you is, how do you shield and tether to the Sun, as you said? But what are the kind of practices that you do to attain the shielding and the tethering? Thank you.

Jessica:            Excellent question. Okay. So there's a lot to say about that. On my Patreon, I've been talking about this for years, and I've got content there if that's something you're interested in because there's only so much I can say in the next few seconds. What I would recommend doing is practice⁠—have you ever worked with an energy bubble, like an energy shield or an energy bubble? Excellent. That was a yes for those who can't see.

                        So practice doing that. And practice, if you can, if you have a⁠—do you have a⁠—you've got a friend who you can do this with? Okay. So you can do it with a friend. So have your back to the friend, and have them walk from far away closer and closer. Notice in your energy field when you can feel them. This is a way of knowing where you begin and end. Okay. This is a way of being able to practice feeling your energy body, which is different than your meat suit.

                        Your body is inside of your soul, and your energy body is also inside of your soul. So what you want to practice doing is cultivating awareness and relationship to the energy body because then you can proxy it. Then you can shift; you can move it. It's kind of like you could be at the dentist and stressed out and just decide you're going to remember what it was like to be on the beach on your last vacation. You're not there. You know you're not there, but you move your energy there, right? Most of us do that, and that's a form of energy work. It works as well as it does. But it's in that family. It's in that family. It's something you can work with. Does that kind of speak to it? Okay. Okay. Good.

Participant 4:  Do you have any advice for folks who have trauma around others violating their boundaries, who kind of go into that "what if" anxiety scenario about setting the boundaries⁠—like what kind of magical work they can do to kind of help them feel more confident in setting boundaries?

Jessica:            You know, that's a great question and one I get kind of often. And part of the answer is radically different if⁠—when you're talking about the trauma, there are so many levels on which trauma exists, and there are so many experiences you may or may not have had. And so my answer would meaningfully shift based on that kind of data, which is more than we can do right now.

                        But I am of the mind that the best answer to that is to give people permission to be dicks, to give people permission to not like you, to give people permission to be a thorn in your side, whether or not they're against you, because sometimes somebody's just like, "Rrr",⁠ not giving you what you want and not being what you want them to be, but they're not wrong or harming you per se.

                        It's about practicing returning to the moment where this⁠—"I don't like this person right now. I just don't like them right now," and letting that be okay. It's uncomfortable, and it sucks, and also, it's okay. You may be someone's bad guy sometimes, and that's okay. It's not great, obviously, but it is okay.

                        This is where I come back to this thing that I kind of opened with, which is so many of us⁠—we move into this idea of, like, "I'm going to do energy work. I'm going to do spiritual work, and I'm going to get grounded. And then I'm going to feel good." But the more grounded and aligned you get, you just feel what you feel. And if you have trauma, you're going to feel your trauma. And this is why most people don't get past the BS love and light part, right? Because if you feel your trauma, you feel all kinds of awful feelings.

                        Practicing different responses to reactions⁠—I don't think there's magic for it. I mean, I'm sure people in here would be like, "Yes, there is. There's magic for it." But even if you practice that magic, nothing is going to absolve you of the step of tolerating your emotions. So that's honestly where I point you to, and this is where⁠—yeah. This is what I would say.

Participant 5:  Hello.

Jessica:            Hi.

Participant 5:  I feel so lucky I got picked. Hi. So, Jessica, something I have always found really fascinating about you is that you are an animal communicator.

Jessica:            I am.

Participant 5:  And I wanted to ask you about this because it pops into my mind, like, wow. What is that? How do you find your way to that? And I have these two beautiful cats at home that are my everything. And I'm trying to sort of nurture them into becoming familiars for me, which I know they will on their own. But I am very curious how you would maybe describe tapping into that, if you feel like that is something that can be learned, and how you would describe maybe sort of touching into that for somebody who's interested.

Jessica:            Yes. Great question. Okay. I am of the mind that not everyone can learn everything. People tell me I could be a singer. No, I can't. People tell me I could be an athlete. No, I can't. And I've seen my chart. Technically, yeah, sure, I could. But no, I can't. And I think it's okay to not be able to do a thing. Let me just start there.

                        Also, I think anyone can do it. It depends how in your head you are. You know what I mean? Some people are just relentlessly in their heads. And if you're relentlessly in your head, you're going to have a hard time doing it because communicating with animals is a practice of being receptive. Animals are constantly communicating with you. You are constantly communicating with your animals.

Anyone who has thought about getting off the couch and grabbing a leash to take their dog for a walk can attest that you have just told your dog you're going to go for a walk. Cats are so much more complex. And the way that I started practicing⁠—because my cat showed me that he was communicating with me, and I was like, "Oh my God." And so I started practicing by being like, "Okay. You're right there. Jump over here. Come over here and then sit in my lap." I would just show him the picture. It's pictures. It's just pictures. And then he would do it, and I would be like, "Oh my God."

So I kept on practicing. But the thing that most people struggle with⁠—and I should say I was already working as an astrologer and a medium and a psychic, so it was kind of⁠—you know, throw it in this bucket. The thing that most people have a hard time with with animal communication is the head. You want to practice being in a state of reception. It's simply receiving.

And I can⁠—so I'm not trying to psychically peep at you. I just could see it, so I'm going to say it. You just got in your head about being receptive. I could feel that. Sorry. And so that is just⁠—when you have a strong feeling, you have a tendency to be like, "Oh yeah, I have this feeling. Let me go back to the narration of the feeling." And that gets in the way of hearing what your animals are saying to you. It doesn't get in the way of telling them things.

So our animals can communicate with us. In a cat or a dog and a human relationship, guess who knows their name and who doesn't? We don't know what they call us. We're so arrogant. Goddamn. Humans are so arrogant. We don't know their designation for us. They know the one we use for them, right?

We are constantly in communication with our animals. Don't doubt that for a second. It's about practicing being in a state receptivity, and the easiest way of doing that is when you're emotionally feeling safe and easy and open. So maybe you've been at home, and you sewed a shirt, and you feel cute, and you're doing your thing. And then it's easier to be like, "Oh, I just feel like my cat told me to x." And then you respond, and then you start to build that rapport.

That's how it works for me. There are actual teachers of animal communication, and they are worth finding. And I am not one, because I'm like, "I don't know. Just do it." So useless. Sorry. Yes.

Somewhere over here. Yes?

Participant 6:      Can you hear me?

Jessica:      I can hear you. Can you hear me?

Participant 6:  Okay. Awesome. I love that you touched upon the love and light bullshit. I want to hear more about that. Definitely started my energetic journey with that as a premise and then realized that darkness and the mess and chaos of life is essential, and you should be feeling it.

Jessica:            Yes.

Participant 6:  But there are some moments of celebration or recognition or trying to build connection, and then there's other people that want to bring that energy down, almost kind of like scratching a scab. So how do we allow darkness and kind of the bad parts to exist, but also having celebrations or connections, and balancing those energies and creating boundaries?

Jessica:            Good question. So, if you fuck with the Tarot, you may know that The Magus, The Magician, is a Mercury card. It's about adaptability. This is the truth: my trauma might be if you get too positive, then I feel like I'm going to have to take care of you. So I'm going to bring you down as a way to make myself feel safer. And my trauma might be you are so comfortable with the darkness that I'm going to drown when I'm around you, so I have to constantly be positive, positive, positive. It's all about my trauma. None of it's about you.

                        And so this is where we come back to alignment and we add in adaptability because when you're in alignment, you can be like, "Okay. I know this feels off. I know this feels wrong. But I don't really know why." And then, when you're separate from me and all my trauma and how I'm bringing it to you⁠—and by the way, each and every one of us do this, our version of it, sometimes. Right?

                        When you can identify, "Oh, this is actually Jessica's shit. This is Jessica's shit," then you can obsess on it. You can be like, "How can I fix it?" You can do all kinds of things that you shouldn't do. Or you can just accept it and be like, "Okay. How do I need to adapt when I'm in Jessica's presence? Because it affects me in this way. It rubs up against my trauma in this way, or my issues." It doesn't have to be trauma.

                        But I think that the truth is that it is hard to know. It's hard to know. I'm recovering from COVID, and I was like, "Am I overindulging my exhaustion, or am I doing a really good job of recovering?" I can't tell from minute to minute. That's part of it, is asking the question, being willing to ask the question. "Am I actually triggered because I want to be really deep right now and this person is making me feel silly?" Maybe it's you. Maybe it's not me. You know what I mean?

                        Asking the question and being adaptable⁠—that's where magic is. And so that's the practice. Yeah. Yeah. My pleasure.

Participant 7:  Hi. So I'm also Jessica.

Jessica:            Hi, Jessica. Hey.

Participant 7:  I hear you on the be aligned. I hear you on the proxy the Sun. Don't know exactly how to do that either, but I'll practice it.

Jessica:            Don't worry about it.

Participant 7:  What happens when you lose your center and you take on other people's energy, and then you find out randomly that's been affecting you? I work in a lot of spaces where there's conflict, struggle. I don't know if I'd call it trauma, because it's at work, but maybe it's trauma. And then I come home, and I'm carrying all these things. And I don't know how to let go of them. What's a practice that you can do? Because I know I could have somebody help with chakra energy/aura clearing, but what can I do⁠—

Jessica:            Like a daily practice.

Participant 7:  ⁠—after the fact, where I'm like, "Fuck"?

Jessica:            Yeah. So do you work in a space where you're in an office, or what's your physical space where you're working? Are you moving around a lot?

Participant 7:  Different offices, different organizations. Let's say toxic, dysfunctional team.

Jessica:            Okay. So it's happening not in one physical location; it's happening on Zooms and in different rooms.

Participant 7:  [crosstalk].

Jessica:            Okay. Great. Great. So there's a lot of things you can do. And before I give you any kind of fix, let me just say we have all experienced what you're talking about. Nobody in here hasn't. We will all again. I do all the time⁠—a.k.a., if you want to be around other humans, it's going to happen. And if you isolate yourself with just a bunch of sheep or pigs, who⁠—I love pigs⁠—it'll also happen because it's part of the human condition.

                        Okay. So, that said, there are so many exercises. Let me think of a good one for you. Okay. Here we go. What you can do is⁠—at the end of the day, do you drive home? Okay. So you're in a car alone. You get in your car. You do not turn on your car. You take a moment to call your energy back to you, okay? My cheat way of doing it⁠—I just say my full name, all the names, out loud. So you include your mother's maiden. You include deep nicknames. You use all your names. You say it three times out loud or in your head, and you just call all your energy back to your center. And your center is your solar plexus, right? You ever do Pilates? You know where it is?

                        So you call it back to your center, and then this is how I like to do it. And you can do it any way you want. And I don't know if I've said this in public before, but I have a meditation book coming out in January, the beginning of January. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. But this is an energy work exercise, and I created a meditation that is basically this. Look for Libra.

                        So what you do is you then visualize⁠—I like a net in the sky. You can use whatever you want. Visualize all the energy that you're holding on to that is not yours, and you just return it to the net. And then you can let that net just explode in the stars. You can also give the energy back to other people. The problem with that is, if it's not clean, if you're like, "That fucking bitch. I'm going to give her her energy back," then you're sending out a boomerang. Do you know what I mean? So that's not a good idea.

                        Instead, you have your guides help you to release the energy into a net, and have that net⁠—your guides take care of it. Let the Universe take care of it. You release it. Now, if you do this in your head, it's not going to give you a whole lot of relief. If you first get centered and grounded⁠—it will give you release. But if you first get centered and grounded, you are going to feel how tired you are. You're going to feel how angry you are. You're going to feel how sad you are. You're going to feel like shit. Otherwise, you wouldn't be doing the exercise, right?

                        So where most people go wrong is, as soon as you get present, you're like, "Oh, this is terrible. What's wrong? And then you go into your head to escape, or you just start the car anyways. So it's about being able to tolerate the emotions long enough to develop the practice. So that's a practice. But that's what I would say. Yeah. Good. Thank you, Jessica. Yes. Yes.

                        Hello.

Participant 8:  Hi.

Jessica:            Hi.

Participant 8:  Thank you. So, at the end of your talking portion, you said you're sensitive to things that you're supposed to be sensitive to. And I wondered if you would give a little bit of discernment advice or ways that⁠—Libra alert⁠—just ways that you use discernment in a boundaries practice.

Jessica:            And do you mean this about, like, your interpersonal stuff, your personal life? Or are you talking about the world?

Participant 8:  I mean, I think in terms of what you said, being sensitive to things that you're supposed to be a part of, how do we know necessarily where it's a sensitivity that is an important thing to be then aware of and track or whether it's a sensitivity because, actually, it's not good or you in some way?

Jessica:            Okay. This is such an important question now that I'm understanding it better, and it's especially important because of the Mars/Pluto opposition that we're already in. Rumination is not spiritual. It feels spiritual. It does. It does. It feels really deep. But it's psychological and emotional. We may have deep ancestral patterns around it, but when we're in a state of rumination, we're in a state of attachment outside of ourselves which requires abandonment of self⁠—no big deal.

                        When you're in a state of abandonment of self and you're ruminating on someone else or something else, the only work to do is return to center and drop it. So I've never had a dog, but I've seen enough people with a dog be like, "Drop it. Drop it," about things that they pick up. You know what I mean? It's like, how many times have I heard that? We are all that dog. And we must be that person being just like, "Drop it." I keep hearing that. Just thank you. Thank you.

                        So, if you're ruminating, you've got to drop it. But this is complicated because my sensitivity to world events I will ruminate on. So how do you track the space between heartfelt connection and maladjusted coping mechanisms? There's not a magic way. There's not a magic way. And I think that there's a lot of spiritual paths that will teach you lots of different tools, and if they work for you, that is great.

                        But it comes back to meaning. So this is something that you've probably picked up on my podcast that I talk about a lot⁠—is values. And you're actually a Libra? Yes. So you're Venus-ruled anyways. And the thing that's so hard about Venus, Libra, Taurus is it is just as much about accommodation as it is about authenticity. So, if you are trying to accommodate someone else, if you are trying to keep everything nice, then you have moved away from what's authentic, unfortunately. It is possible to align with what is authentic and then try to be kind and diplomatic, but that's a different practice.

                        And so, when it comes to social issues, I am very much of the mind⁠—social and political issues⁠—if you are sensitive to the world around you, you are meant to be an active part of creating change, period. You're not meant to look away. Okay. Thank you. I got thrown off. I was like, "Is it rain? I don't know what's happening." It's snaps. I can't snap. I can't snap at all, so it's really embarrassing when people snap around me. Anyways⁠—so I'm sorry. I don't leave the house a lot.

                        So all to say I think that's a rule. And that doesn't mean do everything all at once all the time. We have to pace ourselves so that we can have impact, as I said earlier, right? When it comes to our personal lives⁠—radically different answer. I firmly believe that I do not have the right to try to heal you or to heal my dead ancestor or to heal my mom, who's living⁠—none of it.

                        I'm responsible for me, and you're responsible for you. And so, if the thing that you are fixated on is, "As an empath or a sensitive person, I just know that my friend who's not even that close of a friend is going through a thing," if you want to allow that to inspire you to reach out and cultivate intimacy and closeness, to let them come to you⁠—gorgeous. Otherwise, you're a peeping Tom.

                        And I think that a lot of us who are empaths are peeping Toms without realizing it and without meaning to be. And it's creepy. We shouldn't do it. And people start becoming friends with me, and they're like, "No, no. It's okay. Peep on me. It's okay. Be psychic with me." No. You don't mean that. Trust me. You don't mean that. You mean that in this mood. Watch me say something that crosses a different mood, and then you avoid me, right? I'm sure a lot of us have had this experience.

                        If you have extrasensory abilities, it comes at a cost. And so having healthy boundaries around⁠—do you want a non-paying therapeutic relationship with your friends and dates? Or do you want to acknowledge, "I can feel that something is up with this person, and I have a narrative about what it is. And it's not my business, but I can reach out and be like, "Hey. I've been thinking about you"? That's my practice with people. I send them a heart emoji. I say, "Hi. What's up?" I do not say, "I just tapped in, and I can feel this shit going on." It's not my fucking business. It's not my business.

                        And to assume, even though I'm a professional psychic, that I'm not projecting is hubris. Yeah. Hubris is cute for some people, but I'm not a fan. I'm such a Capricorn. So I would just say⁠—does that answer it, actually? Okay. Good. Then I answered your question. I'm very proud of myself. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

                        Do we have time⁠—I think we have time for one more. Yeah. Maybe if I'm quick.

Participant 9:  I think it's quick.

Jessica:            Okay. Great.

Participant 9:  Hi, Jessica. Thank you so much. You keep talking about emotions and feeling your emotions, and I know that's something that you talk about a lot. And I have a lot of trouble sometimes separating my thoughts from my emotions. I feel like my mind is like a chocolate-vanilla swirl milkshake, and it's the same thing. And I don't know⁠—like, I doubt on both sides. Yeah.

Jessica:            I think that's very human and very normal, and I can identify with it. I'm sure most people in here can. So I'm not going to psychic you because we don't have time, but I want to. But I will say this. Your thoughts go like that⁠—do you know what I'm saying? I am psychic-ing you. I lied. But your feelings are kind of slow and subterranean. The real question you have is, "How do I understand what I'm feeling quickly?"

Participant 9:  Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. That's actually what you really want to know. And the answer is you don't. Understanding comes after experiencing. We are in such a rush to turn our feelings and our instincts into stories and outcomes that we miss life. And that practice of turning your feelings into outcomes or stories is one of self-abandonment. So here's the thing. And again, apologize⁠—I am psychic-ing you. If you practiced actually feeling your feelings, you would be sad and tired a lot. Does that make sense? Yeah.

                        And you don't want to be sad and tired. Who wants to be sad and tired? And so you're like, "Okay. Well, let me figure out what to do about my feelings." Now, if you did that to your bestie, would they be your bestie? It's not really kind. Finding ways of carving out space where you can be sad and tired and not do anything about it and not even try to figure it out, but to just actually have the agenda of sad and tired⁠ every time your head tries to come in and be like, "Okay, but what's it mean?" or, "What should I do?" or, "Grab my phone," that starts to build trust between your sweet little heart, which is a young part⁠—because if you've developed this habit just like the rest of us, you developed it at a certain age where you learned it wasn't okay to have the feelings you're having.

                        So that sweet, young part needs adult you to practice just being there, just being there. And after time⁠—and it might be months; it could be years. But after time of being a reliable resource, an ally, things will shift. They might shift all at once. They might shift slowly over time. But they will shift. And then you will experience more of your emotions, not just the sad and tired that greets you. It's the first layer. And again, as I was saying at the start of my talk that we are in such disconnect from our emotions⁠—we don't want to feel bad. But most of us, when we tap in, we feel bad because the whole reason why we tap out is because we feel bad. And there's so much to feel bad about⁠—real talks.

                        But whatever the age was for you⁠—two, four, two four; I can't tell⁠—you need to treat that part like it was⁠—it's kind of toddler times. So have you ever hung out with toddlers? So you know what they need. Just presence. Just play. Make sure they don't put weird shit in their mouth or their butts or whatever. That's really all they need, right? And if you can practice doing that for yourself⁠—do whatever you want with your parts, but you know, if you can practice just being a kind presence to yourself, making sure you don't do something to hurt yourself unintentionally, everything shifts.

                        And it doesn't shift all at once, and it doesn't always seem like it's shifting. And you have to stay present with the part⁠—do you remember what it was like to learn how to tell time or tie your shoe? It felt like you were never going to get it⁠—literally impossible. And now it's a thing where you're like, "Well, obviously, I can do those things." And this will be the same. It is a practice that is impossible to imagine being good at until you are.

And the truth is that even as we're all talking about this and we're thinking about ourselves being sad or in a bad state, a lot of us have a hard time tolerating our loved ones when they're sad and in a bad state, and we rush to make them feel better, and we rush to come up with solutions or to distract them. And that's really because of our own inability to tolerate sadness or exhaustion or all the things.

And so the next time somebody comes to you who you love, who's like, "I feel bad," practice being open and listening, asking questions, even asking, "Do you need anything?" A lot of times, what our friends need from us is what we need from us, which is just practicing being present. I'll say I give a lot of readings, and a lot on the podcast. And the experience that people have when they're getting a reading⁠—sometimes it's just like it's magical in whatever way, but a big one is just being witnessed. It's just being witnessed.

And if I can give somebody, in a 60-minute conversation, the gift of being witnessed, imagine what you would feel if you practice witnessing you. It's really, really, really, really hard, and it's really, really, really simple. I should repeat that. It's hard and simple. If you're making it complicated, you've lost the thread. It's simple, and it's hard. And it's worth it. Yeah. My pleasure. My pleasure. I think that was a good one to end on. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker:     Thank you very much. That's very kind.