Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I’m your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I’m an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I’m going to give you your weekly horoscope and no bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

This Juneteenth, Bay Area sculptor, Dana King, will install 350 ancestral figures representing the first Africans stolen from their homeland and sold into chattel slavery. They will encircle the vacant plinth of the salve holder, Francis Scott Key, which was partially toppled by protesters last Juneteenth in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. Come commune with the ancestors and bring your children to be a part of the reckoning of a true telling of America’s history this Juneteenth in Golden Gate Park. Visit monumentalreckoning.org to learn more about the project and to donate and follow monumental_reckoning on Instagram. 

Darlings, darlings, darlings, welcome back to Ghost of a Podcast. This week’s question goes like this, “Hello. I’m a 45-year-old, gay, psychotherapist and father of two young boys in the smoking hot middle of a divorce from my angry partner of 21 years. I’m also one and a half years into a new relationship with a smoking hot guy, 15 years my senior, who cherishes me and has restored my faith in love and lads. 

My question: I’ve been practically vibrating with oogly [sp], itchy energy for the past year. I can't concentrate on my meditation. I’m adrift from my spirituality, and just generally feel my atoms bouncing off my cellular walls. I get it—COVID, divorce, mid-life, young kids, new dog. But is it a sign I’m doing something wrong, or is it just a sign that I need a silent retreat? 

My ex is a Capricorn. The new dude is a Gemini, and my boys are a cool cuc [sp] Virgo and red-hot Leo. No name please. Thank you, Jessica. xx.”

So, okay. So much to say, so much to say about this. So let’s just start with this. I’m going to call you Gay For Meditation because I think it’s funny, and it just popped into my head. So Gay For Meditation was born February 21st, 1976, at 11:48 a.m. in Brighton, Massachusetts. 

So Gay For Meditation, there’s so many things that deserve and will be said about this, but I want to first say congratulations on your divorce. I don’t feel like we congratulate each other enough on breaking up with people. Because, you know, as painful as break ups and divorces are, and they are excruciating more often than not, the reality is it takes real courage to go through that meaningful transition, and it’s really an important thing when you outgrow someone, when something stops being healthy and appropriate for you, to leave. I think it’s a really beautiful, wonderful thing, even though it’s a terrible, awful, painful thing. So congratulations. And congratulations on your somewhat new relationship with your older Gemini. That’s really exciting. 

So let me go straight into your question. Your question really is not about your new relationship, about your kids, about anything specific, except for your concern about how you have changed. I want to just reflect back to you that everything in your life has changed, and, as you note, everything in the world around you has changed in response to COVID and many other things. 

Just on a really simple level, before we get into anything astrological, I want to just reflect back to you, it is inevitable that you would be different. The whole point is that you would be different. And so, for you to experience your spirituality, whether it’s meditation or even something as simple as how you locate yourself energetically or spiritually inside of yourself, that would need to be different. Maybe it doesn’t need to be different forever. Maybe it’s not dramatically different, or it doesn’t need to be dramatically different, but why would you expect to make such massive changes in your life and to not have your spiritual life reflect those changes too? 

From my astrological perspective, I see the math, aka the astrology of people’s natures, and then the actions and choices that we adopt in response to our natures. And that can be good, bad, and ugly. It can be all the damn things. And then there is how we change and grow, and then how we do or don’t adjust to those changes. And so, I don’t think there’s only one way of looking at anything. I don’t think there’s only one way of doing a thing well. 

Many people get great value from spiritual practices that are highly structured and that have a lot of rules. Many people get great value from spiritual practices that are not structured and do not have a lot of rules. And then there’s many of us who ebb and flow—sometimes we like the rules, sometimes we don’t like the rules. Sometimes we mediate at 6 a.m. everyday, and sometimes meditation isn’t really part of our lives—ebb and flow. And I would not suggest that any one thing is better than another. Religions will do that for you; I will not. I don’t think there’s any one way that’s right or wrong. It’s about what’s authentic to you and what helps you to be more whole, what helps you to live in greater integrity. 

And what you’re saying in your question, before I even get into your birth chart, is that your life is in a great state of flux and that it’s active and engaging, and actually, it sounds like it’s pretty good. It sounds like you’re in love, and you’ve got great kids, and you’ve got a new dog—cool. You know, you got a job. You didn’t say that you love your job, but it’s the feeling I got, that you love your job. So it stands to reason that sitting meditation might not be the right thing for you at this time, that you’re still in a state of blooming. And when you’re in a state of blooming it’s not necessarily or inherently the time to sit and meditate. 

Now, people who love meditation will say it’s always the time to meditate, and that’s great for them if that’s their truth. Maybe that’s what you used to think, but you’re not finding it now. Because here’s the thing, and this is so important about spiritual truth. When you sit with yourself and you really—you locate yourself in this moment without an agenda—you sit with yourself, and you check in with okay, I, quote, should be meditating. I should be acting in this way that has worked for me in the past or that I believe should work for me now, and you don’t find any flow; you don’t find any resonance, that’s important information. It’s not definitive information. 

You may sit with that even longer and more deeply to discover there’s no flow there because it’s not the right choice at this time. And you might sit with it and be like, oh, there’s no flow there because I have fear blocking me or because I have some sort of problem blocking me. But it’s not inherently one or the other. It requires your presence to find the answer. 

And so, you’ve gone from a Capricorn to a Gemini. You’ve gone from being partnered with someone you’ve characterized as angry, which, you know, I can't really speak to that because you didn’t give me anymore information. But an angry Capricorn is probably going to be pretty ridged in their expression and then in their habits. And you’re with a Gemini. Geminis are not known internationally for being highly structured people. And so, here you are, getting to play. Here you are, getting to be itchy and to experience and explore that. That’s kind of exciting, I think. And I’m not going to tell you to change. Girl, don’t change. 

Okay, let me pull back, and let me say more. Let’s get into your birth chart. So you’re a Pisces, and you’ve got this beautiful Sun conjunction to the Midheaven. This Sun conjunction to the Midheaven is especially important for me to name because currently you’ve got Jupiter crossing your Sun. Jupiter conjunct the Sun is an expansive transit. It’s a time where many people experience their spirituality in whole, new ways. The potential of this transit—and this is happening this summer right now—is very spiritual. It’s locating truth within yourself. It is also a transit that can trigger your ability to see more for your life—more for what your life can be and how you can make your life bigger and brighter. 

Unlike Saturn, the planet Jupiter is all about experience. Jupiter is about wide, open spaces and potential. And that could translate to a mediation or a spiritual practice that is expansive, or it could translate to having experiences with yourself and in the world that are unscripted and that are authentic. Because here’s the thing, and this is a big thing. In your birth chart you have a stellium in the sixth house. You’ve got Uranus, the North Node, Moon, and Neptune all in the sixth house. And that indicates that, for you, cultivating habits, like material habits, like meditation or waking up at certain times or eating certain foods or whatever it is, is actually really important to you. It’s very healthy for you, and I imagine it’s something you’ve struggled with throughout your life—to identify what that looks like and to make choices around it that work for you. 

Because you have Uranus in the mix of this, and because Uranus in your birth chart squares Venus and Mercury, which are very closely conjunct in Aquarius in the eighth house of your birth chart, routine is not always your bestie, right. So, for you, you need changeable routines. You need a mix and match set of routines. For you, having a healthy and intentional set of habits that you choose from but that you have flexibility with yourself or on which ones you choose at a given moment, that is really a magical space for you. 

And what is happening right now is your system is saying, this thing that once worked for me isn’t working for me right now. It’s not a no, but it’s not a yes. And the ridged part of you, the part of you that may have over corrected finding a way that you’re supposed to be is saying, well then, I’m going—that’s wrong. That’s bad for me. Instead of checking in with is there any downside? Are you actually experiencing a downside for feeling itchy, for feeling like you’re bouncing off the walls? Or is bouncing off the walls kind of code for I’m excited and having a good time and doing that with a lot less structure in my life? 

I am a really big fan of ritual. And I think for spiritual practice, ritual or ritualistic behavior or ritualistic spiritual conduct, whatever that looks like for you, can be deeply meaningful, and it can be deeply helpful, and also, it can be a phase of development. At a certain point, for some of us, not all of us—and, again, this isn’t better or worse; it’s just different ways of being—at a certain point, we can be the ritual. We can bring our meditative mind, we can bring our spiritual integrity to mundane engagements, to mundane actions. And so, we don’t always have to go on a retreat. If you’ve integrated the spiritual work you would do on a retreat, then you don’t need to go on the retreat. You can instead simply integrate and practice the work in your regular mundane life. And I actually think that’s what you’re being called to do right now. 

So I’m not saying therefore don’t go to a silent retreat if that’s what you want to do and you have the resources and the space in your life to do it. Yeah, go for it. That sounds awesome. But I don’t think you need to do that. This is a time where you’re being called upon to embody the wisdom you’ve cultivated. So let me get a little more into that, okay. 

Saturn is currently in the sign of Aquarius, and it’s not done with your Mercury. So Saturn conjunction to Mercury happens once every 29 years at a different age for everyone, but it happens once every 29 years to everyone. It marks a new cycle of maturity and responsibility around what you think, how you listen, and how you communicate. And so, it is a beautiful thing that you’ve had a meditation practice and that you’ve built up this beautiful gay life. I love to see it. I love to hear it. 

And also, now is the time to check in with are the beliefs and the attitudes that you’ve cultivated right for the person you’ve become and the life that you have? Is the way that you’ve listened to yourself and to others, is the way that you’ve communicated to yourself and others still working? Is it still a yes? And if it’s not, or in the ways that it’s not, can you explore what that might mean? Can you explore what needs to shift or adjust? These things are going to remain active for you through November of 2021, and at the same time, because Saturn is also sextiling your natal Neptune, you are likely to be in a state of strengthening your spiritualty and your spiritual practices. But not outside of your mundane life—in your mundane life because, again, when we find planets in the sixth house, they tend to play out in our mundane lives. 

And I should clarify, because I use the word mundane all the time, because it’s a classic astrology word. But mundane as I mean it here is not like mundane astrology. It’s day to day life. Health and habits—what you do on the daily kind of life. So there’s all that to consider. 

Now, let me give you more. You are going through a couple other transits that are important for me to name. You’re at the tail end of Pluto square to Jupiter. You’ve got several more months left of Neptune square to Mars, and you’ve got Pluto opposite your Saturn. It’s a lot. It is a lot. And the upshot of all of this is that you are in a place in your life where you are struggling, and you are meant to be struggling, with how you’ve put your life together and how it does or doesn’t serve you. How you embody your spiritual value system and your capacity to be patient and empathetic and loving towards yourself, towards the world around you and then the people in your life, the challenges, the crises that you’re in may be material, may be struggling with your ex or having a rough client load or whatever, but it also may simply be you experiencing yourself in ways that are unnerving for you or uncomfortable for you, and you being challenged to locate yourself and make decisions for yourself as the adult you’ve become. And my guess is it’s a little bit of both, right. 

Pluto opposition to Saturn is a two-year long transit. Pluto square Jupiter, two-year long transit, and yeah, Neptune square Mars is also a two-year long transit. I should also name that Pluto is sextile to your Moon. So all of these things are kind of overlapping each other. And they indicate that you are changing in deep and meaningful ways, and that the ways in which you respond to these changes, the ways in which you manage these changes will have meaningful consequences to the man you are and the man you’re becoming. And, of course, who you are, who you choose to be has everything to do with how you treat others and how you receive love, and all that other good stuff. 

So you’re not doing anything wrong if you’re feeling like your atoms are bouncing off your cellular walls. Your atoms are bouncing off your cellular walls—that is happening. You are changing, and it is too much to try to rein in. So don’t try to rein it in. There is great value in exploring the silence—like, massive value in exploring silence and being present. But part of that, the kind of like flip side of that, is being able to locate the self in chaos and in noise and in ecstaticness [sp], right. And things are noisy. Things are wild. Things are activated right now for you. And it can be stressful in some moments. It can be concerning in some moments, but you know what else it is? It’s enlivening. It makes you feel alive, and that’s fucking delightful. 

You’re not meant to have stability right now. That’s not what’s expected of you by the universe, according to your birth chart, anyways. So instead, what I would encourage you to do is continue to check in with am I acting in integrity? What do I want to learn from these feelings? What do I want to learn from this situation? Instead of how can I calm myself down? when the excitability you’re experiencing is not destructive; it’s just unusual. 

There’s something really exciting about being in midlife—which, you know, you’re born in ’76, so hello midlife—and having so much youth and life present and ahead of you. And you’re a really shining example of that. You are still discovering yourself, embracing yourself, and deciding on who you want to be and how you want to live. You’re still exploring and determining what play is and what spirituality is and all of these things, and you’re not doing it wrong. You’re not doing it wrong. And that doesn’t mean you won't make mistakes and that you won't fail and falter. It does mean that for as long as you’re actively trying to live in ways that reflect your spiritual values, your integrity, and what is authentic to you, for as long as you’re doing that, you’re on the right path. 

But no one ever said you were supposed to be perfect. No one ever said you were supposed to be calm all the time. No one ever said it’s supposed to be easy, you know. So keep on doing you. And if it feels like a big yes to go into some sort of silent retreat or to return to a meditation practice that used to be a big yes for you, then go for it. But until then, I would encourage you to explore other modes of tapping in. 

And if you’re at all concerned about this—you’re like, okay, that sounds good, but I don’t know, then just schedule once every four weeks a check in with yourself, maybe with a therapist if you have one yourself, or maybe with a dear diary or a best friend. But schedule a time to check in with yourself and to say okay, it’s been another month that I haven’t been tapping into my meditation practice. Is it in anyway costing me something that I think is unhealthy and that I don’t want to pay? Is my meditation practice actually calling to me? What am I learning from taking a break from my practice? 

Because whether we’re talking about meditation or doing a retreat or doing a Tarot reading or whatever it is, or we’re talking about living in integrity and checking in with yourself, we’re kind of talking about the same thing. We’re talking about living a life that is rich with meaning, right. That’s the hope anyways. And so, there isn’t a right or wrong way to do it at all times. There’s a self-appropriate way. There is a more useful way or a more graceful way or a less painful way. So just check in with where you’re at and what way is most resonant for you at this time. 

And when you check in with yourself, when you do this homework of just checking in, making sure it’s healthy, the other part of that homework is for those four weeks where you’ve made a decision and you’re just giving yourself permission to not, let’s say, meditate and to be in this kind of exciting, chaotic, activated state, give yourself permission to not obsessively return to the question of should I be meditating? Should I be meditating? Should I be meditating? Give yourself permission to take a break, to be where you are in all of the glorious weirdness of it and the unpredictability of it. Give yourself permission to be there. And then at the end of those four weeks when you check back in, maybe you’ll find you gave yourself a true break and now you can return to your old practice different. Or maybe you really want to return to a practice but not the practice you had. It maybe time to develop a new practice that better reflects the changes you’ve actually integrated. 

We do not need to stay with the same person for our whole lives or the same spiritual practice for our whole lives in order to be whole. For some of us, that long term monogamy is key, and for some of us, we need to be in the thing for as long as it works and then find a new thing, and that’s the key. And, of course, there’s other ways of being as well. But just to hold space for that—you don’t need to know where it’s going to land in order to be right with yourself in the discovery process. 

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Okay, now, let’s get astrological. We’re going to look at the week of June 13th through the 19th of 2021. Let’s just slow down before we get going. And I want to slow down to just acknowledge we are in the last full week of Mercury’s Retrograde, and to remind you planets are not in Retrograde. They cannot be in Retrograde because Retrograde refers to a movement or a motion. So it’s in a sign, but it’s not in a motion. So Mercury’s Retrograde, which means it appears to be moving backwards, and it is moving backwards through the zodiacal degrees. As it does that, we inevitably have technological and communication errors, and we are being kind of called upon to look back over our work, look back over our lives, look back over our attitudes and ideas. 

This transit will be over on the 22nd of June, and then it will be in its Retroshade until July 7th, and I’ll talk more about that next week. But let me just say that in this final full week of Mercury being Retrograde, this is still the time to reflect. Whatever it is that’s been going on for you or that’s coming up for you, you have the opportunity to learn from it. You have the opportunity to question it and explore it and sit with it. And to the best of your ability, I encourage you to do that or to continue to do that. 

And if this is a particularly soupy [sp] Mercury Retrograde, IMO, you might be just feeling really out of it and out of sorts and confused and a little off—that’s okay. Again, it maybe an opportunity for you to explore what do you think of being off and out of it? How do you respond to feeling off and out of it? Whatever it is that’s up for you, wherever it is that you’re locating yourself in your life, this Retrograde is not spurring us to forward motion. It’s spurring us to check in, and that may facilitate forward motion, but the motivation is different. 

Now, at the same time, we have just gotten past our Solar Eclipse in Gemini on the 10th of June, and as I always like to remind you, a transit happens, and it’s not like okay, now it’s done. It’s a life experience, and it’s a developmental shift, and what comes next has a lot to do with how you choose to respond to your life, how you choose to respond to your own thoughts and feelings and the situations that you find yourself in. 

And so, because we’re in this period of great emotional and psychological intensity, it may be tempting to use astrology as a way to explain away a specific moment, a specific day—walking into a wall for someone, being in a dynamic with yourself or with a situation, whatever it is, and I want to remind you this thing that we do, astrology, it’s not an excuse machine, right. We know better than to use astrology to pathologize other people or ourselves or to excuse bad behavior. 

It’s more a tool for understanding and contextualizing our experiences to empower ourselves with the ability to do our best or to understand oh, shit, I didn’t do my best that day, and I have some context for why. Now, what am I going to do with it? What am I going to do about it? Life, you know, life, but also, astrology. 

Astrology tells us that life is, at this time, really overwhelming. There’s a lot happening. And because of the Saturn square to Neptune, which is a huge player in this week’s horoscope, we’re questioning all of it. We’re questioning all of it. So there’s a lot to talk about, even though there’s not technically a lot going on this week. I’ve got two major transits to tell you about. 

But remember and know this, if you touch a hot stove, you touch a hot stove, and you burn your little finger. Oh, your cute little finger is burned, and it sucks, and it’s painful, and the way it feels when it’s acute is really painful—it’s like distractingly painful. And then, maybe you have a week of a blister, and it kind of hurts, or it super hurts, and then eventually it kind of hurts, and then eventually maybe you forget about it, and it goes away. 

So the reason why I’m bringing this up is because when something is acute, it demands our attention. And when something is less acute, it demands less of our attention, but that doesn’t mean it’s not active. So that little burn may end up being a scar. It may not. In other words, an event may stay with you in a way that really it’s impossible to ignore, or it may kind of disappear into the woodwork of your life experience. It doesn’t mean it’s any more or less important. What shows on the surface is not necessarily more important than what is happening deep within you. 

There is so much happening deep within all of us. There is so much happening in the world socially, politically, to the planet itself, to the people on this planet, and to the animals that we share this planet with. There’s a lot going on. This is a monumental time. It’s a big time. And so, if you find yourself forgetting to give yourself the grace of time to process your feelings, the grace of taking care of yourself or struggling when you don’t or whatever it is, then you’re missing out on an opportunity. 

So here’s my gentle call in to come on back, come on back to yourself. Whether or not you like yourself, whether or not it’s easy, you’re home to you. You’re home to you. And so, making that home a sanctuary, making that home a healthy and a beautiful place is a really great goal. It’s not achievable at all moments for all people—that’s for fucking sure. However, it’s a great goal, and I want to kind of encourage and invite you to consider how you are and are not doing that at this time. A little self-reflective data collection. Mercury Retrograde, thank you, and I will have another. 

Okay. Now, I would be remiss if I did not invite you as well to up your astrology game by getting Astrology For Days—still in beta. We’ve got the world’s time zones up and loaded. And if you don’t know what Astrology For Days is, just briefly shall I tell you. It’s an astrology student and a professional astrologer’s tool for tracking transits day by day that are happening in the world and taking limitless notes so that you can understand the energies running through your life and make decisions as you’re scheduling things, as you’re bumbling through life or whatever, and you can just check on in. 

I’m also kind of hoping that you take notes based on the things I talk about in this podcast and if you use astrology apps or listen to other astrologers or read other astrologers, and you kind of coalesce notes on what all kinds of different experts are saying and different references are saying, so you can start to determine for your damn self what you think a thing is. So you can start to identify the energy as it’s happening in your life. Because the cool thing about astrology is when we’re talking about any individual planet, we are talking about kind of like a big ass bucket of energies, and once you become a skilled and experienced astrologer, you can clock those energies as they emerge inside of you, in your dynamics with others, or in the world at large. And that just makes life easier to live. It just makes it easier to live because if you can look up at the sky and be like, oh, it’s high noon, then you know what time it is. It’s just nice to know what time it is. I mixed a lot of metaphors, but whatevs. 

Okay, now we go to your damn horoscope. As I said, we’re looking at June 13th through the 19th of 2021. And the horoscope kicks off with a Sun square to Neptune. Sun square to Neptune is a transit you would have been feeling on the 12th as well, and it is a three-day transit—you will feel it on the 14th as well. 

So the Sun is our identity, our vitality, our sense of self. And Neptune is high spirituality. And having these two planets form a 90-degree angle to each other can really kick up anxiety. When we’re experiencing a Neptunian form of anxiety—because Uranus and Neptune both govern anxiety in really different ways. Neptune’s form of anxiety is kind of panic attacky [sp]. It’s feeling unsure of who you are, where you stand, what’s happening. It’s having a hard time locating in the material 3D reality we live in. 

The Sun square to Neptune may find you really fixating on things that you don’t and cannot understand. It may find you fixating on fantasies or ideals that ultimately leave you lacking or sad. It can find you in a position where you are not inhabiting and embodying the boundaries you need to be in order to be healthy and right with yourself. 

The Sun square to Neptune is a call to simplify. So when I say simplify, I mean like you could use the room spray that has 700 ingredients in it, or you could just get the essential oil of lavender and some distilled water and put it in a damn bottle and spray, spray, spray. What I’m trying to say is sometimes the most impactful and potent thing is the most simple thing, the most whole thing, right. So as much as possible on and around this date simplify. 

Simplifying means having boundaries. Because we must say not now or no to many distractions and things that are not in resonance with us, that aren’t healthy or right for us at this moment, or that we can't respond to in a healthy way at this moment. And having boundaries is a major lesson of Neptune. And the way that Neptune teaches boundaries is by creating pain points when you don’t have them. 

And so, if you are an empathetic person, you may find this a particularly stressful time because you may find yourself in a position where you are overwhelmed or bowled over by your sensitivities, and there’s a lot of ways of responding to that. A very common popular one is to dunk your head in the sand and to try to evade the world or the relationships that are giving you empathy fatigue or overwhelm, and that is maybe the right option for you. But let me suggest another strategy: having healthy boundaries.

Having healthy boundaries is about doing energy work where you call on an energetic set of boundaries. And this is something I talked about in the psychic hygiene episode that I dropped in 2020—you may want to revisit that. But you may need to have energetic boundaries so you can call your space and give yourself permission to only tend to the space you inhabit in a healthy way, or you may need to assert and affirm boundaries, actual boundaries with people, like, “Oh, I can't talk on the phone for an hour,” or, “I can't go out today; I need to stay home and spoon feed myself soups.” That’s a thing. It could be your thing. 

The upshot is how you feel maybe a little out of control on and around this day. What’s not out of your control is how you respond to your feelings and your needs and the situations you find yourself in, so give yourself the space and the grace that you need to locate yourself, to identify what your capacity is, and then to act in integrity with those things without abandoning kindness, empathy, etc. for yourself and others. 

And then that brings us to on the 14th. Saturn is forming an exact square to Uranus. Now, this is an important transit. I talk about this transit obsessively all the damn time. I think it’s so important. This transit is activated all year long. On June 14th, we have it exact. On February 17th was the last time it was exact. And the last time it was exact, it was at seven degrees. Now, on June 14th, Saturn is at 13 degrees of Aquarius, and Uranus is at 13 degrees of Taurus. The next time and the final time this year that this transit will be exact will be on December 24th—no big deal. Nothing much happening that day, as far as I can tell. Anyways, that will be at 11 degrees Aquarius and Taurus. 

So let’s talk about what it all means. There’s a lot of things to say about this transit, but I want to start with this. There is this mounting pressure to get back to normal, right. But we’re still actually in a major pandemic, and there’s a great deal of suffering that is active and fresh and new that is happening in response to the pandemic alone, let alone all of the other incredible atrocities that are happening across the globe and stresses of being a person in a life. 

So many of us have—and I don’t love using this term, unless it’s like psychologically accurate, and I don’t necessarily know that it is in this situation—but I will say that PTSD is real, right. Post traumatic stress is real. 2020 was wildly stressful and scary. 2021 is too for so many people. But in terms of COVID, I want to just acknowledge that it upset our sense of reality in such a way that most of us did not have the capacity let alone the space to really be in that. And as things get better after a particularly harrowing experience is when human psychology tends to be like okay, so now I can fall apart. Okay, so now I can be weird. 

And if you are feeling weird, if you are feeling off, if you are feeling like you’re having a hard time adjusting to, quote, normal, or you don’t want to adjust to normal quite yet, I want to say A. hey, man, that’s okay and B. welcome to Saturn square to Uranus. 

The transit of Saturn square to Uranus is so much about the need for us to question reality and the need for us to reorganize or organize our lives in a way that promotes greater freedom and liberty and authenticity, honestly. And all structures need to be enlivened; they need to be changed and adjusted over the course of time—all of them. 

I mean, build a bridge—like literally, build a bridge and eventually enough people walk on it, enough people drive on it, and you’re going to need to rebuild parts of that bridge or the whole damn thing. The whole damn thing. The easiest way is if you maintain it over the course of time, so you don’t have to do a massive tear down, rebuild situation. Well, you know, sometimes you got to tear some shit down so you can rebuild, and, again, that is Saturn square to Uranus. 

So literally—and this is not specific to any one country—but literally we are talking about infrastructure needing to be changed and improved, right. We are needing to check in with systems that we have made assumptions around, that we have gotten complacent around, whether it’s related to justice or it’s related to literal infrastructure, that’s what’s happening. 

The potential for revolution is absolutely there. But to create stability is a little bit challenging at this time. It’s not a great year for stability. It’s a great year for checking in and asking questions and innovating solutions or asking better questions. And this is a really important component for me to name, which is when we are asking the wrong questions, when we are fixated on the part of the problem that’s not the real part of the problem, we don’t make real progress. We don’t find solutions or answers that feel right or that give us the kind of outcomes we look for. 

So this is the time to be asking yourself questions. You know, I saw somebody on some social media platform, and I can't remember where it was or who it was, but they said something to the effect of, “I’m not into call-out culture; I’m into accountability culture.” And I thought ooh, that feels like a great perspective for this specific transit. It’s taking something that has value and adjusting it so it has greater value, so that it’s more flexible and adaptable. 

And, you know, you might like call-out culture. A lot of people defend call-out culture. I am a damn counselor, so for me, I don’t tend to see on a one-on-one healing level the value of being called out. Because when people are called out, they get defensive. So I’m often concerned about the effectiveness of calling someone out. And I would encourage you to consider when you’ve been called out, were you able to stay present? When you have been called into accountability, when you’ve been called in, was it easier to do the work, to make transitions, to question yourself, to be humble? 

I don’t know, to each their own. I’m not trying to tell you what to be, but I’m just going to take a moment to express some fandom for accountability culture. Let’s make it a damn thing. I didn’t make it up, but let’s make it a damn thing. 

Okay, so let’s talk. June 14th at 3:01 p.m., Pacific Time, Saturn forms the exact square to Uranus. But that’s not all that’s happening. At that exact moment, the Moon is at 14 degrees of Leo, creating a T-square between those two planets. So a T-square is a planetary configuration that involves three or more planets. And two or more of those planets need to be opposite each other, and then both of the opposing planets need to form a 90-degree angle, aka a square, to a third planet. 

So in this case, we are talking about a Saturn/Moon opposition square to Uranus. What this indicates for this next kind of phase of the Saturn/Uranus cycle is a lot of things. One is the struggle is deeply personal. The struggle is very much about how I feel about myself and how I relate to how you’re treating me, right. That kind of a thing. 

Saturn opposite the Moon tends to bring up depressive feelings, scarcity-based feelings—do you like me? Did I do that right? Am I okay? Are you okay? Like that kind of shit. And when they both form a square to Uranus it can get real defensive, real quick. It can get real reactive, real quick. And this is a theme—defensiveness and reactiveness—that has really been emerging as I look at the astrology of the past month or more. And then I look at this chart and I’m like oh, shit, here it is. 

Between now and Christmas, we’re in a phase, and this phase has the potential to facilitate true and real change, true and real healing. But it won't come through bullying, and it won’t come through cruelty, and it won’t come through scarcity-based feelings. So one person’s liberation is not at the expense of another person’s wellness and abundance, unless that person’s wellness and abundance is rooted and netted in the oppression or repression of the first person. You know? You know. So if you think somebody else’s abundance and wellness comes at your expense, then you must on some level be actively benefitting from their misery, and that is problematic. So this is really just a great time to, wherever you find yourself, to be willing to sit with what that means. 

You know, if in your personal life you have a relationship where you are the Saturnian figure or you are the Uranian figure, in other words, you are the rock and the stability, and you want more security, or you are restless, and you need more freedom and you need more space. Whatever role you’re playing in any given relationship, and you might be either or both in multitudes of relationships, but there’s a way to question am I expressing my needs? Am I expressing my position in a way that is not attached to what other people have to say or do? Am I just sharing this is where I’m coming from, and this is my truth and then leaving space for other people to do the damn same? 

Because sometimes the healthiest thing to do in a relationship is to be able to accept we do not see things the same way. We do not have the same needs at this time. And if we don’t have the same needs, then what we can do is come together as a team and identify what can we agree on here? What can we agree on as healthy compromises, so that we both feel met and taken care of and yada yada. And sometimes that’s simply not possible, right. We need to accept that when that’s the case and make decisions whatever that might be. 

What I’m trying to get at here is you may find yourself trying to make something work that just—it isn’t working. It just isn’t working. We need to be flexible. We need to try and try and try, and if we determine that that’s not healthy or wise or that we’ve done those things and now it’s time to change approaches, then we need to do that. 

Saturn square to Uranus is testing. It is psychologically testing. And so, you might find yourself really struggling to catch up with your life or where you thought you should be or where you want to go or simply keep pace with your life. Things might feel like they’re moving really slow and really fast all at once, kind of at the same time. Saturn feels like it moves slow. Uranus feels like it moves fast. 

Now, on top of it, because the Neptune square to the Sun was exact on the 13th, it’s a very active transit in this chart. And so, this is a further call to managing anxiety. In other words, determining what is happening, how you feel about what’s happening, either emotionally or psychologically, how you feel about what’s happening, and what is the healthiest way to respond to it. So we have that kind of call for checking in, managing anxiety, and then hopefully having behavioral boundaries. 

So behavioral boundaries are easiest to achieve when we first have spiritual clarity about what the need for that boundary is really about. So you can see this is a really big deal. And we may see major changes or events or occurrences on the global stage. You may see some sort of eruptions in your community, at work, or socially, or whatevs. My advice is allow yourself space to react without responding. Allow yourself the grace of taking space to sit with your thoughts and feelings before you externally express those thoughts and feelings. Because once you put a thing out there, it is out there. You can't take it back. 

And this transit or these transits, but mainly the Saturn/Uranus square, it really wants us to change—to let go of systems or patterns that no longer serve us and that maybe never served us—so, again, personally and socially. If we can let go of what doesn’t serve us, what isn’t healthy for us, of what we’ve already actually outgrown, then we can show up in ways that reflect our actual maturity, our actual integrity, that reflect the work we’ve done on ourselves, that reflect what we know. 

So much of the time we don’t do that. We act in ways that reflect our situation and not who we actually have worked hard to become. And so much of that is because we’re reacting instead of enacting or responding. This is a practice that takes time. It takes time. It takes repetition. It takes practice. It takes time. That’s just what it is. And this is a important week for checking in with that stuff. The Mercury Retrograde actually is supportive to that. And even the quite anxiety producing Neptune/Sun square is quite supportive to that. 

What are the chances, what are the chances that the Moon, which takes one month to go through every single zodiac sign and every single degree, what are the chances that the Moon would be exactly opposite Saturn and exactly square Uranus within one degree at the time of the Saturn square Uranus exactitude? The chances are not super high. What this means to me as an astrologer and to you as a person is to bring your bravery—the Moon is in Leo—to bring your courage, to bring your strength, and the strength and courage of your heart, of your capacity for empathy and for kindness, to be able to bring those pieces of yourself to this whole process I’m taking about—to change, to life. 

So, my loves, we will talk about this more as you know, but that’s what’s going on for this week. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with others. And if you need a time out, honey, take a time out. You deserve it. You deserve it. And, honestly, so does everyone else. So if somebody else is asserting a boundary with you, don’t be an asshole—respect the boundary. Just respect the boundary. 

As always, I want to thank you for joining me here at Ghost of a Podcast. If you get value out of the podcast, please do give it five stars wherever you listen to it and write me a kind review. Also, if you’re interested in more content from moi, you can join me over on Patreon at patreon.com/jessicalanyadoo. I’m right there. I’m right there. Come find me. And if you’re like, “Yeah, yeah, that sounds fine, but I don’t want to spend any money; I want to keep on getting free shit—Jessica, give me free shit,” then why don’t you subscribe to my weekly horoscope over on my website. It comes out every Wednesday. 

I think that’s it. I will talk to you in a week, unless I see you on Patreon or social media before that. Okay, bye.