Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I’m your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I’m an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I’m going to give you your weekly horoscope and no bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

Hey, now. We’re in the Mercury Retrograde shadow, and it is the perfect time for this week’s question. It goes like this: “Sometimes I feel like what I’m trying to say is easily misinterpreted and taken the wrong way. I’ve refrained a lot from expressing myself verbally, and I’m tired of being closed off.  Do you have any advice of how to fix my Mercury or maybe work with it in a more positive and progressive way? Is my ability to communicate as debilitated as my Mercury placement? Please don’t share my birth time and place.” So this person was born on Valentine’s Day, 1986, but time and place is private, and we respect that.

So okay. One thing is if you’re studying astrology, you will see things like reference to a placement being debilitated or exalted. This is astrology speak. And it’s really good to know when a planet is debilitated or exalted—there’s other terms—when you’re learning the function of a planet, how it functions astrologically, kind of technically speaking. When we read these concepts and we read these words and we understand them from a more personal and kind of psychological perspective, I want to say these terms are really useless—not just useless; they’re destructive.

So, because you refer to your Mercury placement as debilitated, I’m guessing that you've read a bit about astrology, and that’s how you know this. I want to say it’s not that you are debilitated. It’s not like a literal translation from astrology speak to how we communicate socially, as it were. And if we think of astrology that way, we’ll often be really demoralized, right? Because what astrology does is it looks at your human nature and it objectifies these different pieces and parts. And it objectifies them in a way that’s really helpful. It’s helpful at understanding ourselves and situations and organizing information.

But if you’re dealing with something like you are, my dear, then it can be really, actually—just make you feel bad and like you’re stuck and you'll never get better.  And that is just not the case. Every single aspect in the natal chart has positive applications, and I am not an optimist, my friends. I am pretty focused on the constructive, but trust me. There are difficult things. There is evil in the world, and there is evil in so many of us. However, if we are willing to do the work, if we are willing to be humble, if we are willing to put in the effort, if we are willing to fail and try and fail and try again, we can heal our natal placements. So I feel like that’s a really important thing for me to say and to say to you. Okay. So I did it.

And now we move on to the very specifics of your question. So you tell me that you feel easily misunderstood. When you tell me that, I think, okay, either you've got Mercury Retrograde or Mercury in Pisces or in the twelfth house or somehow being hit by Neptune. And this is what we find. You do not have Mercury Retrograde in your birth chart, but you do have Mercury in Pisces. It’s actually at the top of your chart. It’s in a lovely placement. It’s conjunct to Venus and more widely to Jupiter. So you've got a lot of opinions. You've got a lot of thoughts. However, when it comes to verbalizing them, it can be a little bit harder. You can find that there’s really clear articulation in your thinking, but then when you try to put pen to paper or speak it, things can be a little bit confusing or your thoughts can kind of scatter.

To make matters more complex, you have in your birth chart a Mars/Saturn conjunction in the sixth house, and it’s square to your Mercury and to your Venus. And so what happens for you is you sit on things, and you take everything very seriously, and you really don't want to be wrong. You always want to be right. You don't want to do the wrong thing; you want to do the right thing. You obsess, and you obsess not in a Plutonian way, which is compulsive, but in a Saturnian way, which is you are seeking perfection, and if you don't find perfection, you feel like a failure.

Because there can be some defensiveness that is associated with this complex internal process, when you say what you say, it can come off wrong. Literally, your tone of voice can come off harsher or sharper or less emo than you mean it to, or differently emo than you mean it to. Another thing that can happen is you can organize your ideas in a way that it doesn’t actually communicate to people what you want them to hear; it’s just technically what you meant to say. Let me tell you this, a little pro tool for life: there’s what you want to say, what you want to get off your chest, what you technically think, and then there’s what you want the other person to hear. Oftentimes, what we do is we say what we think and we say, “Fuck the other person. They just need to hear what I think.” But that’s antithetical to our own goals and our own needs.

It's really important to be able to be truthful and to honor your perspective, your truth, to communicate effectively your perspective and your truth, but to do it in a way that is also considerate of who you’re talking to, the state that they’re in, and to articulate it in a way that they can actually hear. And that’s hard, and it’s not always appropriate, but it’s an important life skill for all of us and in particular for you, my dear, because of your Saturn/Mars square to Mercury.

Let’s add a little more complexity because Venus is in the mix, right? So Venus is conjunct to your Mercury, square to that Saturn and Mars. And so, if people don't understand you, you think they don't like you. And you want to be liked. It feels really bad when you’re not liked. It really hurts your feelings, and that’s because of Venus’s involvement. It’s also because you’re a human person. It’s also because Mercury and Venus are in Pisces. It’s a tender, sensitive sign. So, therefore, it is not surprising to me that you've just stopped expressing yourself verbally and closed yourself off out of fear of being misunderstood or not being liked or rubbing people the wrong way.

Unfortunately, just like anything else, if you stop trying, you make no progress, and when you start trying again, you pick up pretty much where you left off, which can feel pretty demoralizing, even though it stands to reason. Right? It’s like, if I’m learning how to add numbers and I get too frustrated and I stop learning how to add, well, eventually I’m going to need to learn how to add some numbers, so I’m going to come back to it and I’m going to be right where I left off. And I’m going to have to develop the willingness to learn and to fail and to be bad at it in order to get to the next step.

So the same thing is true with verbal communication. You don't need to fix your Mercury because you’re not broken, girl. You’re not broken. What you do need is to be willing to be patient with your process. Now, I didn’t say this before, but let me say it now. You’re an Aquarius. You've got Jupiter very closely conjunct your Sun, and it’s in the ninth house. You are fast. Your thinking is fast. Your desires are fast. Your ability to kind of synthesize things, it’s fast. On top of that, you have Uranus closely conjunct your Descendant, which means it’s opposite your Ascendant. And that makes you a very impatient person, or it inclines you to find yourself around really impatient people, or both.

And so, because your Mercury in Pisces is slow and Saturn conjunct Mars is slow, and Saturn and Mars square to Mercury and Venus are slow, what happens is you experience a ton of frustration before you even start, before things even go wrong. And that frustration can be demoralizing for you, and then you either have a self-fulfilling prophecy, or you've convinced yourself that things are really terrible when maybe they’re just not. Maybe they’re just uncomfortable. Maybe they’re just scary. Maybe they’re just a little awkward. Awkward isn’t bad. Awkward is awkward, even when it feels bad. Right? The way things feel and the way they are are not always the same thing.

So working with your Mercury in a positive way—I’m going to give you some pointers. Step one, be patient. That is a practice which you'll be working on your whole life, probably, to some extent. There’s lots of ways of cultivating patience, but a primary and big one that’s pretty simple is don’t be a jerk to yourself when you’re feeling impatient. As I’ve said before and I’m happy to say again, impatience is simply a fixation on where you aren’t yet. What this means is that if you’re feeling confused, frustrated, overwhelmed, awkward, whatever it is, that’s where you are. And you don't want to feel that way. You don't want to be here. You want to be somewhere else. That’s fair. But you’re here, so breathing into that, being present with that at this moment, that’s step one.

Step two, because of Saturn’s involvement, I would say pull out your phone and write some bullet-point notes. What are you thinking? What do you want to say? What do you want the other person to hear? Having notes—it might seem silly to some people, but I’m a huge fan of writing notes when your thoughts need organizing. There’s no harm in writing a couple bullet-point notes, and you know what? You can delete them when you’re done. But finding a way to help yourself get clearer about what you want to say, that will be helpful.

Another thing to really work on for you so that your Mercury is happy and healthy is noticing your tone of voice. The tone that we apply to our words changes the meaning of the words, whether it’s in your thinking or verbally with others. People hear the tone. They have an emotional response to tone. And it’s really hard to control and contain your tone of voice. However, it’s an important piece for you so that you are aware of what other people are hearing, and maybe it’ll help you to make sense of why you’re being misinterpreted because if your tone is too flat, if it’s a bit defensive, even if what you’re saying is totally fine, people are going to respond to the defensiveness and to the flatness in their own ways because you always want to keep in mind everyone’s in their own feelings; everyone’s in their own insecurities. That, my friends, is just reality.

And then, finally, when miscommunications happen—because they happen to each and every one of us—when they happen, don’t give up. That’s when you say, “Oh, I’m so sorry that you misunderstood me. I’m going to get back to you, hopefully with something clearer.” And if you’re having a written—like a text conversation or an email conversation, that could be the easiest because then you could write out notes and you can take time to edit. If you need to say something verbally, just take the time to organize. Bullet-point out what you need to say. You don't need to defend yourself. You don't need to justify yourself. You simply want to express yourself, and you’re absolutely capable of doing this.

Having Mercury at the top of the chart, a Gemini rising, these things are consistent with actually being a really great communicator, and they’re an indicator of having the capacity to be adept, in other words, to speak pretty fluidly with lots of different kinds of people in different kinds of situations. That Saturn square to Mercury that you have, I often see that in the charts of successful writers, all kinds of writers. The aspects that you have to your natal Mercury place pressure on it. It is important for your own wellness to find ways of expressing yourself. The reason why you have closed yourself off and shut down is because Saturn is perfectionism. Don’t let perfectionism get in the way of communicating fluidly with others and sharing of yourself, having friendships that are valuable and are based on mutual understanding. You are totally capable of it. Just keep on trying.

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Let’s get astrological. Let’s get into your horoscope. This is Episode 223 of Ghost, and we are looking at the horoscope for September 12th through the 18th of 2021. We’ve got some transits to get into, but I want to check in first. I want to just acknowledge that it is hard out there in the world. Whatever transits the universe had scheduled for you in your birth chart, they’re still on. Whatever your hopes and aspirations and fears and obstacles, whatever those things were before the pandemic began, yeah, they’re still there. I mean, maybe they’ve been changed, but they’re still there. And then there is the added pressure and mindfuck and consequences of this ongoing pandemic.

Very few amongst us are equipped to gracefully handle a many-years-long global pandemic and all of the cascading consequences that it has. So I just want to check in, and I want to remind you that it’s not just you. Things are hard. This is a really difficult thing that we’re going through. And, as you know, the astrology of Saturn square to Uranus in 2021 has really had us all questioning what’s actually real and what’s not real. And what does it mean for me in my life? How am I supposed to respond to it?

If you've been feeling restless and stuck, if you've been feeling like you just want to burn it all to the ground and make a radical change, that’s pretty fair. Again, you’re not alone. This period that we’re in, the transits that are guiding it, yes. But, really, this period that we’re in, it is hard, and it is new. I want to remind you to have latitude for yourself for being uncertain of what to do next or what your place is or what your goals are, to be willing to forgive yourself if you've gotten stuck or made mistakes or had problems, and to forgive others if they’ve not been behaving in the ways that you want them to or need them to.

And I want to just clarify forgiveness is not consent. When we forgive ourselves, we are not giving ourselves a green light to perpetuate bad behavior to ourselves or others. When we forgive others, we are not consenting to stay in an unhealthy dynamic or to not say what we need or what’s real for us. Forgiveness is not taking other people off the hook; it’s taking the hook out of your own heart. Forgiveness is unburdening yourself. It’s a form of acceptance. And, again, acceptance is not consent.

So much of what is happening astrologically, energetically, politically, socially, all the things—it’s tempting to want to look at who’s to blame and to fixate on the people or entities that are to blame instead of to simply get present with what is and how it makes you feel and to determine from that place of presence and acceptance, okay, so what am I going to do now? Instead of fixating on what other people are or aren’t doing, ask yourself, what can you do for yourself? What can you do for others? What can you do for the world?

If the answer is, “Right now, I can’t do shit for anyone”—if that’s the answer, then that’s the answer. But it is spiritually healthy to ask the questions, to keep on checking in, and to align with your agency to have latitude for how complicated and difficult this period is and to remember you are not alone in it. So much of what happens on social media and in the public sphere is there’s constant discourse. There’s constant showing off of our lives or our ideas or whatever it is. But you always want to remember that what you’re seeing online is curated. You don't know what’s in other people's hearts.

I’m in a really unique and special position because for the podcast and in my work in general, people share with me what’s really going on. It gives me this perspective that I want to share with you. A lot of people are really struggling right now. A lot of people feel that they’re the only ones who are struggling in the particular way that they are. So be gentle with yourself. Having compassion for where you’re at or where you’re not, having compassion for others, these things are generative. They’re soothing to your nervous system. They’re soothing to your heart. They create more space inside of you.

There’s not a lot of downside in compassion. Having compassion for others is an internal state. It doesn’t mean you need to consent to other people's bullshit. It doesn’t mean you need to engage with people who are not healthy for you. It doesn’t mean you need to say yes to someone else if it means saying no to yourself. Tend to your feelings. That’s what it means. It means tend to your feelings and honor them to the best of your ability.

So that brings us ceremoniously—I wish there was slightly more ceremony. I wish I had a top hat to tip at you. I would if I could. It brings us to your horoscope. Again, we’re looking at September 12th through the 18th, and we are starting on the 14th. On the 14th, we have an exact Sun opposition to Neptune. So we’re going to be feeling this on the 13th, the 14th, and the 15th, but it’s exact on the 14th. And, hey now, this transit is hard.

There’s a couple things to say. The first is the Sun is your identity, and it’s your will. It’s a place that we look in your birth chart to see vitality. It’s like the Sun is the bright light in the sky. There’s a way that we lead with our Sun. And Neptune? Neptune is the great dissolver. Neptune teaches compassion and empathy, but also boundaries, because the function of Neptune, the feeling of Neptune, is so expansive that it is hard to maintain a single identity and healthy, appropriate human boundaries in its presence, which is why, a lot of times, the experience of Neptune is one of anxiety and uncertainty and confusion and idealization, idealizing other people at your own cost, idealizing yourself and your situation or your capacity or your resources. And on the flip side, it could be catastrophizing all of those things.

Neptune is many beautiful things. It is related to the higher self and the high arts. However, in a really kind of functional day-to-day psychological way, it can really feel like anxiety. So the Sun opposition to Neptune can have you feeling exhausted, demoralized, uncertain, anxious as H-E-double hockey sticks. That’s Canadian for hell. This is not a super comfortable transit. This is a great time to think about fortifying and nurturing your physiological and psychological wellness. So drink a butt-ton of water. Eat nurturing whole foods. Engage in movement that is good for your body and maybe, hopefully, even joyful. Maybe don’t pick up the phone when that person calls you that sometimes calls you that is kind of an energy vampire or doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe just don’t respond to that text or DM.

To make matters a little bit more sensitive, this is happening at almost the exact same degree that the September 2nd Mars opposition to Neptune occurred. So I talked about that transit in great detail in Episode 221, so very recently, and you might want to relisten to it if you had a really intense week around the start of September. This transit’s happening at 21 degrees and 47 minutes. The Sun is in Virgo. Neptune’s in Pisces. And that Mars/Neptune transit was just a couple minutes, 15 minutes, off. We can expect whatever it is that got activated the week of the 2nd—we’re going to continue to feel it.

So knowing what was going on gives you a sense of what is going to be triggered through this transit in your life, also in the world. Now, in your personal life, you may be challenged to find healthy and self-appropriate ways, sustainable ways, of engaging with anxiety or uncertainty. If you can get your butt into nature, that would be wonderful. It would really help. You may, in more behavioral ways—or internal, emotional, psychological ways—need better boundaries. This might be a transit that kicks up your need for more self-appropriate self-care that helps you to manage your own wellness.

It's important to know that the energy isn’t clear. It’s not clear within you and within the people you’re dealing with. So it’s not a great time for making big agreements. It’s not a great time for launching something. If you've got to, you've got to, but it’s not a great time for those things. This transit tends to bring with it discouragement, and it’s not as a way to punish you and me and everyone else. It’s to remind you what Neptune always teaches, that our ego and our external lives are not the only important part of our human experience, that if you are not spiritually right with something, if you are not caring for your mental and physical and emotional wellness in a private, personal, and internal way, that there are consequences to that. And those consequences make you feel bad.

A lot of times, when people are going through Neptune transits, and in particular if you have something at around 22 degrees of a mutable sign—so that’s Virgo, Pisces, Sagittarius, or Gemini—you might get hit with something really physical because Neptune can show up very psychologically and very physiologically. So check in with those things. Check in with how you’re feeling and consider ways that you can relate to how you’re feeling with greater empathy, compassion, and self-appropriate boundaries. That’s what Neptune wants. How you are on the inside, that’s really important. How you are on the inside is a huge part of your overall human experience, and it’s important that you treat your insides like they matter, because they do a lot.

Now, on the social level, earlier this month when Mars and Neptune were opposite each other at the same degree is when Texas passed its draconian, highly restrictive abortion ban. And many other things have happened in the world on and around the date of the Mars/Neptune opposition. So, as I said, when talking about the Mars/Neptune opposition, we may see a raise in extremism, and I would imagine it to be connected to whatever it was that was brewing under the surface or came up around the Mars/Neptune transit that we went through on and around the 2nd of September.

So, if you don't like the way things are going and you’re outraged and you are hurt, if you can, in whatever ways you know how, whatever ways are available to you and in your wheelhouse, do something about it. Action is the antidote for anxiety, and, of course not in all situations, not at all times. But it’s a good truth to check in with when you’re feeling anxious about the world. Is there something you can do? Is there something you can signal boost? Is there a petition you can sign? Is there a call you can make to a senator or a council member?

There’s a million things we can do within the system. There’s a million things we can do outside of the system. But being constantly outraged and not doing anything about it except for talking about it and complaining is tempting. I mean, I love to complain. Don’t get me wrong. I really, earnestly do. However, it is really hard on your nervous system. It doesn’t actually change anything, especially if where you’re complaining is on social media platforms owned by very wealthy men who don’t give a fuck about your feelings or your thoughts or your needs or the needs of your communities. So get out there. Do what you can. And if you can’t do it today, that’s okay. Check in tomorrow. See if you can do it tomorrow.

Okay. So that’s September 14th, and that brings us to the next couple of transits, and they are both exact on the 16th of September. On the 16th, we’ve got a Sun trine to Pluto and a Venus square to Saturn. So let’s start with that Venus square to Saturn. Venus square to Saturn is a rough transit, and it’s rough because Venus wants everything to be chill and okay. Venus wants to get along. In fact, Venus and Saturn are two of the most security-minded planets in the zodiac. When they form a 90-degree angle, aka a square, there’s tension. There’s tension between these two forces who want security, but the way they go about creating and maintaining security is not on the same page.

What this is likely to feel like is, well, a lot of things. Okay. So this can make you feel lonely. This transit can make you feel like people don’t like you or people don't think you’re cute or fun; people don't want to be around you. This can really lead to a glass is half empty kind of feeling. It’s a terrible time to try to create more security, stability, monogamy. It’s just not a great time for it because, inevitably, you or someone else is going to be feeling somewhat needy. And that’s not how we want to make our interpersonal and romantic agreements, ideally speaking.

Venus square to Saturn is a transit that can confront you with what’s not working in your relationships. So, if you are feeling down and you want to reach out to someone for help and support, make sure you are not engaging in self-fulfilling prophecies where you ask people for help who are simply not equipped to be helpful, people who are pretty consistently cold or selfish. Don’t ask them for help. If you have conflict with somebody that you’re close to, if it’s a very intimate person or someone that is just in your life frequently, it’s likely to be a conflict based on something very real and substantive. Therefore, it will require your care, and it will require you to not place accommodation—like just saying what people want to hear and agreeing to something even though you know that you don't really agree—over authenticity.

It is important during this transit to be authentic in how you show up and also to take responsibility for what you’re putting out there. And I want to just remind you there’s no shame in saying, “I don't know. I don't know why I did that. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I feel about this.” That’s okay. That said, it is incumbent upon you to be able to return to the conversation with clarity, to work on getting to figure it out if it’s directly impacting somebody else’s life or heart. Right?

So this transit can be a time where we are confronted with a need to take responsibility for how we’re behaving in our relationships. If we’ve not been showing up, if we’ve been selfish, if we’ve been careless, whatever it is, you might have to own it. And humility is hard. It’s hard to admit that you’re wrong and not descend into guilt or defensiveness, but it’s a sign of strength and integrity. And it is—in my view, anyways—something that earns the trust of others, and ultimately, it allows you to trust your own self. People come and go. Your relationship with you, that shit is forever.

Now, something else that Venus governs is your feelings about the way you look and the way you look in general. So it is important to remember that your beauty, your body, your hair, the way you present yourself, the way other people respond to you, that shit is transient. In particular, Venus and Saturn—just a fun fact—they both govern the skin. Saturn is the epidermis, like the full organ of your skin, the outside layer that keeps all your innards inside. And Venus is your complexion.

So, when Venus squares Saturn, you may find yourself obsessing on the way you look or on your skin specifically, the skin you’re in spiritually or materially, the way your skin looks. Hold your vanity proportionate to its value. This is hard to do, but these are good things to be thinking about during a Venus square to Saturn. Even if they’re difficult things, they’re good things to be thinking about. If you’re having a difficult physical existence day, be kind to yourself around that. Be interested in the stories you’re telling yourself about your body and its value. It’s hard work, but it’s important work, my friends.

And then, finally, Venus square to Saturn can confront you with some sort of financial problems. And this is a good time to get organized, to get in the details, and to get interested. Now, Mercury is still in its Retrograde shadow, so double-check your work. We’re not in Mercury Retrograde, but communication and details might be kind of slipping and getting a little sticky. And you want to work with that to the best of your ability, right?

Now, luckily, on the same day and over the span of this transit of Venus square to Saturn, we’ve got a Sun trine to Pluto. And that transit is a campfire on a cool night. It’s the exact thing you need for the Venus square to Saturn because Sun trine to Pluto fortifies our willingness and ability to confront difficult things, and to do so in a deep and meaningful way, to do so with maybe not, per se, grace, but certainly with fortitude.

So, if you have a need for bravery, the energy is there for you to tap into to actually be brave. Being brave is not the absence of fear. Being brave is feeling fear and being able to tap into your vitality or your willfulness or whatever it is, being able to tap into something within yourself to do it anyways. This transit is really good for that. It’s really good for the improvement of your psychological and physiological wellness. And I’m so pleased to tell you this because the other transits of this week certainly let us know that we will be requiring it.

As an astrologer, I really like seeing a transit like this on a week like this because it tells me that there’s energy available to us all to do our best and to access our best and to be a resource for others and to be able to resource other people or tools or whatever it is. The tools are out there. The resources are out there. When you feel like shit, it’s hard to remember to use them or to ask for help or to show up for others, even. But these things are really valuable. They’re valuable on a really personal level, and they’re valuable on a collective level.

Now, my loves, I want to just say, if you’re in California, vote. Hey, vote. Vote no on the recall because it’s a bunch of bullshit. You can vote by mail before the 14th, but you've got to go in person—if you haven’t voted yet—on the 14th. And then you get a cute sticker. So, if you’re seeking a material award for good deeds, there you go. You get a sticker.

Wherever you go this week with this Neptune transit and in general, wear a damn mask. Wear a mask. Protect yourself. Protect others.

As always, if you want to learn more with me and get more spiritual and astrological content for living well, join me over on Patreon at patreon.com/jessicalanyadoo. I’m doing some pretty fun stuff over there. And if you want to track the transits day by day and also have a localized place to take notes from me, your favorite astrologer, subscribe to Astrology for Days. It’s the tool for grounding your astrological knowledge without the noise of somebody else’s interpretations.

If you haven’t already subscribed to Ghost of a Podcast wherever you’re listening to it, please do hit that Subscribe button because it really helps this little DIY independent podcaster. It sure does. And if you get value from the show, please do give it a five-star review.

Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Bye-bye.