Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I’m your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I’m an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I’m going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit, mystical advice for living your very best life.

Welcome back to Ghost. This week, we have a question about how to have boundaries with family. And it's, of course, very relevant because it is holiday season for many people, and that means dealing with family that's hard to deal with. So let's get into it.

The question goes, "I have revealed a pattern in my life, and it's this: I assert a boundary with a family member. They push me to break my boundary. I assert it further. They push more. I get mad and leave the situation. They come back at me, playing the victim. I get more mad. And a heated argument erupts. Sometimes this is over something stupid like me not wanting to watch a specific movie with someone. Sometimes it's family members genuinely trying to be helpful but then overdoing it, leaving me to ask them to stop. The hurt feelings have me questioning whether I'm doing something wrong. I value my independence, and I value my right to my opinions and autonomy. And I feel that I shouldn't have to do something I don't want to do or take advice I don't feel works for me. I'm not trying to intentionally offend anyone for their choices, but somehow, when I decline to do certain things, my closest loved ones and I end up in an argument. How can I do a better job of holding empathy for them while also staying true to myself?" And Boundaries was born December 16th, 1989, at 1:26 a.m. in White Plains, New York.

So this is a really great question, but some of the question is kind of the wrong question—you know how I like to focus on the question—because if your goal is holding more empathy for other people who are breaking your boundaries while staying true to yourself, that's kind of a sticky, tricky goal. So let's talk about boundaries.

Boundaries, when employed in a healthy way, they are the expression and embodiment of clarity of what you can and can't do in a healthy way, what you will and won't do, what you will and won't consent to. Right? That's your boundaries. Anyone who's had boundaries knows that other people don't always like it when you have boundaries. That's just a part of life. It is very important to hold empathy for other people while we are holding and expressing our own boundaries because the truth is, when you express a boundary defensively, all other people hear is your defensiveness, which comes across as some form of aggression. And they respond to that aggression with more aggression or defensiveness themselves.

This is a problem that probably everyone who's ever tried to express a boundary has encountered on some level or another because boundaries are hard. It's hard to know whether or not you have a right to express yourself. It's hard to be really present with a nuance. And when dealing with your family of origin, it's especially hard because they know you as a four-year-old. They know you as a moody 12-year-old. And they expect you to be a specific sort of way. Also, our family of origin—you may love them. You may like them. You may not. But they're not the people you've chosen intentionally like your friends or your lovers. They're the people that you're tied to in this life on some level.

And you can cut a tie; I'm not trying to say that. But I am saying they maybe aren't the people you choose as your friends. So when they say, "Let's watch this movie," and you're like, "I really don't want to watch this movie. That sounds like a terrible movie," they may be the kind of people who take that personally even though it's objectively not personal; it's just your preference: "I don't want to watch a movie."

Okay. Let's go to your pattern. You assert a boundary with a family member, and they push to break your boundary. So here's my question. Are they trying to break your boundary, or are they trying to get their needs met? Because you're experiencing and perceiving their pushback as an intention to, on some level, harm you or break you. Maybe that's the case. That's definitely the case with a lot of people. Or maybe it's just them trying to get their needs met.

The next step of your pattern is they try to push to break your boundary. You assert yourself further—I'm guessing you get a little more aggressive or a little more direct—and then they push back more because they're like, "Why are you being so intense about it?" And then you get pissed off, and then you bounce. You leave. Then they have a right to feel saddened because you got mad at them and you left when all they were trying to do is get their needs met.

So this creates a dynamic where you may have had the right-of-way. You may have had all the right in the world. But when you get into aggression or leaving in the middle of a dynamic, what happens for a lot of people, a lot of times—and, of course, all situations are unique, so I'm not speaking to all the situations of the world. But if you're not dealing with survival issues, if you're not dealing with your safety, if you're dealing with your examples of they're giving advice that you're not really down for or they want to watch a movie that you don't want to watch, in those kinds of situations, when a person pushes on your boundary, as soon as you engage in a tug-of-war with them, you are no longer embodying your boundary. And this gets you into trouble.

So let me kind of simplify this. I don't know if you have a dog or if you've ever been around dogs. They're adorable. However, if you feed a dog from the table just once, that beautiful, furry friend may forevermore—forevermore—beg when you eat, especially that delicious thing you gave them that one time. Most people do this thing, which I think is the right thing to do, which is they don't take it personally. They don't think, "Well, this dog is trying to break me. This dog is trying to manipulate me." I have heard people say shit like that, and that's just wrong.

But most people have the perspective that the dog is just trying to get something delicious, and it worked once when they sat there and they looked cute. You gave them a little bit of food because they sat there looking cute, so they're just going to keep on trying to sit there looking cute to get their needs met. And it works. It works. It doesn't always work, but it works. This is the same thing with humans. We are similar to adorable dogs. And in this way, you've described it in your pattern with your family. You assert a boundary, and it feels like you're saying no to them, so they're like, "Don't say no to me. Say yes to me." And you give them more energy and attention. Now, you're giving them bad energy and attention, right? You get pissed off. You walk away. Then you have a fight later. They get to cry.

But a lot of times, a lot of people, we just want energy and attention. And some sort of core part of ourselves, like our survival-based instincts, don't really care if it's positive energy and attention or negative energy and attention. We just want energy and attention. If your pulling a boundary with your family makes them feel like you're icing them or pushing them away, which is what a lot of people feel in response to others' boundaries, then when you start getting defensive, you're all of a sudden really present and you're engaging in a really active way. And so, in a way, they get what they want. Right?

And it's not that what they want makes them happy. It doesn't. A lot of the time, the things we want do not make us happy. But it, in effect, works. So what's the solution? The solution is stop playing your role the way you've played it. You're not going to change other people. I mean, listen. Maybe you'll change adults that are older than you, maybe. But it doesn't seem super realistic, my friend. Instead, change your damn self. That is a much easier ask.

So the next time somebody says, "Let's watch Gilmore Girls," and you say, "I don't want to watch Gilmore Girls," and they say, "Why? You don't like Gilmore Girls? Don't you love Gilmore Girls? Let's do this together," and they try to push you and break down your perspective, you can simply say, "Yeah, that's my boundary. Let's focus on something else," and change the topic. If they are unwilling to, that's when you remember that they are not trying to break you. They're not trying to harm you. They're trying to get their needs met.

And then you can show some measure of empathy to be like, "Listen. I'm sorry I don't want to do what you want to do. I'm sorry it's making you feel bad, but I'm not going to budge on this. This is not something I want to do." Then, if they act out, don't respond. Just listen. Just listen. Just listen, because this is where you lose your own validity, is you respond to everything they say and do.

When somebody is actively disrespecting your boundaries as you're describing here, as soon as you allow them to change the conversation, now it's not about whether or not you want to watch Gilmore Girls. Instead, now it's about whether or not you are willing to be flexible for them, whether or not you're willing to do what they want to do. As soon as you allow them to change the conversation, now you're having a fight about something else. And that's not the fight to have, not when everyone's heated. Right? So it's about bringing it back and not being so verbal that you allow yourself to get angry and engaged.

A fun little cheat mantra that you can have in your head is—let's say it's your sister, Sally, who's really just gung-ho for Gilmore Girls. What you can do is sit there and, in your head, repeat over and over, "This is just Sally being Sally. This is just Sally being Sally." Or if it's your dad, "This is just my dad being my dad." The reason why I like this mantra is because it reminds you that this is not about you. This is about their behavior, their personality, their discomfort with boundaries, their difficulty in seeing you as autonomous or hearing your preferences and needs. And it's not really about you. It's about them being themselves.

That can really help you, not exactly to have empathy for them, but to not personalize it when people are revealing themselves to you. And what you've described in your question is that your family reveals themselves to be really bad at being on the receiving end of boundaries and even bad at the assertion of boundaries. It sounds like what they're comfortable doing is getting aggressive or getting emotional as a way to get their needs met, which is not the same thing as, "Hey, listen. I know you really don't want to watch the Gilmore Girls, but the last few times we hung out, we watched what you wanted to watch, and I've just been dying to watch this thing. Are you willing to compromise for me?" That would be them asserting their boundaries.  I don't know why I hitched my star to Gilmore Girls, but I did it, and here we are. Okay.

So, all of this said, my dear, let's look at your chart because in your birth chart, you have a Capricorn Stellium. You've got Uranus, Neptune, Mercury, and Saturn all sitting on top of each other in Capricorn. And all those planets are opposite to your Jupiter/Chiron/Midheaven conjunction in Cancer, and they form a T-square to the Ascendant. Now, to be fair, Ascendants are not planets, and generally speaking, a T-square—it focuses on planets as opposed to points in the chart. So it's not kind of a full-powered T-square that we're looking at here because it points to the Ascendant as opposed to a planet, but it is worth consideration.

And it's very relevant for your question because you have this idea with your Mercury conjunction to Neptune and Saturn that if you say it right and if you say it clearly and if you say it with not too many sharp edges, that people will agree with you because what you're saying is reasonable. When that doesn't happen, which—obviously, it doesn't work out that way because that's really not how life works. You can say things reasonably, you can be reasonable, and someone else can simply disagree, or someone else can be unreasonable. Right?

But because you have Jupiter/Chiron conjunction in Cancer and it is opposite all those planets, there's a way that you may impulsively react without as much forethought as you would have expected yourself to have. And because all of these planets square to your Ascendant, it just comes right out. You got no poker face, my friend. None. It just comes out on your face. And so hiding your feelings is not a great option for you. It's not a great goal for you.

Instead, being able to say, "Oh, yeah, that's triggering to me, but I just want to be really clear. I don't want to take your advice right now," or, "I don't want to watch the Girls right now," whatever the example may be, and being able to recognize, "I'm finding myself getting defensive, but this isn't a big deal. It's just my preference. And so I want to acknowledge I'm being defensive, but I really don't want to talk about this anymore because I've already told you no"—this approach that I'm recommending that you take is very difficult for you in some ways because having Mercury sandwiched between Saturn and Neptune, it inclines you to want to overexplain things, to essentially justify and defend your ideas and your preferences.

Jupiter eggs you on so that you say more and more, and Jupiter is a bit of a soapboxer, in other words, a planet that inclines us to talk and talk and talk, which is not bad or good. But in situations like you're describing, it's very ineffective. It doesn't work, because when you have a boundary, your job is not to explain it better. Your job is to hold the boundary firmly and, yes, with empathy and compassion for others, and empathy and compassion for yourself.

Especially because we're talking about a situation where your safety or survival is not on the line, you can actually practice holding your boundaries and letting them be upset. It's okay that other people are upset. You're upset. They're upset. Everyone's upset. That's family, that's life, and that's boundaries. Just because somebody else is having emotions doesn't mean you're wrong. Just because someone else is having emotions doesn't mean that you should do something differently or you should be aggressive or you should walk away.

Other people having emotions is a good opportunity for you to be like, "Hey, I can tell that this is hurting your feelings, and I'm really sorry. I really value your advice," or, "I really enjoy your taste in TV." I'm not encouraging you to lie to people, but to be able to value, "Yes, I appreciate your advice. Yes, I asked for your advice. And yes, there is a limit to how much I can take in, and yes, I'm still going to make decisions on my own, and I might not take your advice. But I want your wisdom because it helps me to assess my options." Being able to be clear about your boundary without defending or justifying the boundary, that's how you hold a damn boundary. And if that sounds hard, it's because it's very hard. It is very, very hard.  That doesn't mean it's complicated. In fact, it's kind of simple. But it's incredibly difficult. So be patient with yourself.

Two more things I'll say about your birth chart is, in your birth chart, you have a Pluto/Moon square. Generally speaking, when there's a Pluto/Moon square, your family of origin and your childhood—there is emotional manipulation, and it comes from trauma, whether it's your parents lived through trauma and then they passed it down to you in whatever ways, or there was something traumatic in your childhood, or there could be a million ways this could present itself.

But this Pluto/Moon square can absolutely indicate that there is emotionally intense competition for space in the family and that people feel manipulated a lot and that emotions run really high. So this is really deep in your family. You're not overreacting, right? You're not making it up. And whether or not they're overreacting or making it up kind of isn't what's important here. What's important is they're entitled to their emotions. Don't try to change or control their emotions.

But, also, you're entitled to your boundaries. Don't try to change or bend your boundaries unless that feels appropriate, which I'm guessing sometimes it is. I'm guessing sometimes you're being rigid about your boundaries as a way to try to train them better to respect your boundaries, but that doesn't work. Rigidity is not boundaries. Rigidity is rules. Boundaries are boundaries, and boundaries are actually quite flexible. They're strong, but they're flexible because situations are unique. Again, when you're busy defending your position, that's wartime shit. And when you're embodying your position, then you're open to new information and you're able to be flexible when needed.

Now, here's to the last thing. In your birth chart, you've got your Sun at 24 degrees of Sagittarius. And that means you're in the very beginning of a Neptune square to your Sun. It's a two-year-long, once-in-a-lifetime transit. So it's a pretty damn big deal. And it teaches a lot of things, but one of the biggest ones is boundaries. What can happen when you don't feel that you have healthy boundaries is that you feel really anxious, like you don't know if you're right or you're wrong. You don't know who you are or what you're doing, and it's really disorienting.

And so all to say this was the perfect question for you to ask me, and this is the perfect time for you to get an answer to this question. I encourage you to explore lots of different takes on how to clarify and communicate boundaries, how to hold boundaries, how to stay present in the presence of other people's intense emotions without trying to capitulate or convince them to feel differently. This is a good practice for you, and the next couple years of your life will give you ample opportunity to practice, for better or worse, my friend.

Anyone who's ever had a boundary knows that we all fuck up our boundaries. We all communicate our boundaries poorly sometimes. We don't maintain our boundaries in a clear way or in a healthy way. We all defend or justify our boundaries, sometime at least. It's okay to be bad at this. What you want to do is, again, be empathetic and compassionate towards yourself and towards others. Through trial and error, strive to find a healthier, more sustainable way of communicating what you will and won't, what you can and can't, with the people that you're close to.

Learn about colonialism—past, present, and ongoing. Educate yourself about whose land you’re living on, and if you can, make a monetary donation or pay a land tax to that tribe. Visit Our Native Land at native-land.ca. The link is in show notes.

It's time to get back into astrology and talk about your horoscope for the week. We're going to look at November 28th through December 4th of 2021. Somehow, it's the very end of the year. I cannot even believe it. And there is an Eclipse this week, so there's a lot to talk about. But if you missed last week's episode, Episode 233, you may want to check it out, as I touched on both Saturn in Aquarius and also the Pluto Return of the United States. So, yeah, there's some good nuggets in there for you to nibble on.

Another thing I want to just kind of name is that on December 1st in the United States, the Supreme Court will hear an abortion case which is challenging Roe v. Wade in Mississippi. The astrology for it is really sticky, and it's happening right at an Eclipse. So it's something to watch out for. If this is brand-new information to you, especially if you live in the U.S. and you haven't heard about this, get to educating yourself. Find out more, and if possible in any way, get involved because it's really important that people have the right to decide whether or not they carry a pregnancy to term.

And if you're interested in the astrology of Roe v. Wade, you can listen to Episode 47—yeah, 47; it was a long time ago—of Ghost where I talked about the astrology of Roe v. Wade amongst other things. So you can check that out if you're interested. And if you're interested and any of these topics or anything else, you can send me your questions at ghostofapodcast.com. There's a little form there telling you all the information I need, and you can send me as many questions as you like.

All of that said, we're going to talk about the astrology of the 28th through December 4th. It starts off this week with an exact Sun conjunction to Mercury. This is on the 28th, and the Sun and Mercury are meeting in Sagittarius. So this transit on its own is quite lovely. It can increase the tempo of your life in a way that is really interesting. Mercury governs interest. And so it's kind of a busy transit, but there's nothing inherently bad about it. It can be a great time for connecting with people, for exploring ideas, for creating or getting clarity about something. So there's a lot of really positive aspects of this transit.

Where it gets sticky is that we are in Eclipse season, and emotions are running incredibly high. And we are living through an unprecedented time where facts and feelings and faith are all smooshing up and swirling up around each other, creating a great deal of confusion. There is a lot of misinformation and disinformation out there. And thanks to social media/the internet, we can find ourselves living in echo chambers where the people around us agree with us, and everyone else is other.

And in that context, a Sun conjunction to Mercury can be kind of rough because people are likely to feel highly identified with their ideas and their beliefs and their attitudes. When we're so identified with our beliefs and attitudes, it can—not inherently, but it can lead to confirmation bias. It can lead to not listening and not being flexible and fluid in the face of new information. It can lead us to not being authentically open anymore, and that's honestly the last thing that Mercury wants for us. We are meant to be open, to have our minds be curious and engaged by life. And this can be kind of a hard thing these days.

Another thing that's really tricky with this transit is the fact that we are, of course, still very much living through a global pandemic. And I say we are of course living through a pandemic because I feel like a lot of people are like, "Yeah, when the pandemic was happening, it was rough," and people are just marching around town, no masks, just acting like everything is back to normal. But if you haven't already heard about the Omicron variant, which is a new variant of concern, then may I be the person to pique your interest to do a little bit of research.

Unfortunately, the pandemic is still very much active, and it is getting worse in many places around the world. People's frustration with having their freedoms curtailed is how they're feeling about it. It's getting worse and worse. There are protests happening around the world around restrictions being imposed to try to keep populations safe from a global fucking pandemic. It is really complicated. It is really messy. And in the context of a Sun conjunction to Mercury, it could actually get worse, again, not because this transit is inherently bad news bearers, but because it reinforces our beliefs and it inclines us to feel really like, "I need to be seen. I need to be heard." Thanks, Sun. But that's what it does.

And because Sagittarius is involved, the energy may be quick to respond or react, and it can be quick to jump to conclusions. Also, it can be associated with spread because if you've ever seen the glyph or the symbol that represents Sagittarius, it's literally a bow of fire. It's like the archer's bow. And so it's about spread. From this moment on, be exceptionally careful around COVID stuff. Use your common sense. I know it's annoying. I know it's inconvenient. I know not everyone's doing it, and you might be the only one in your friend group. Do it anyways.

And if you are feeling really fixed in your viewpoint, that's cool; also, ask yourself if there is not anything you can learn around the 28th because if there's nothing that you can learn, if you really feel that way, yeah, then there's definitely something you can learn. And if you're aware that there's more that you can learn and you're just not open to it right now, okay, well, that's another thing altogether, and that's totally cool. We just want to make sure that we don't look directly in front of us and assume that there's nothing to see to the left, to the right, beneath us, above us, or behind us. And that'll be tricky. That'll be tricky, and that is a fun little theme that'll follow us throughout the week.

Now, luckily, on the 29th, we have not one but three transits that are exact, and they're all quite lovely and supportive to being open and to kind of doing whatever it is you need to do to be interested, to be curious, to be open. The first one is a Mars trine to Neptune. On the 29th, that transit is exact, and it can inspire us to be motivated to get things done, but not things that are just for your own ego fulfillment, but things that need to get done that have a more wide-reaching good. And so that might mean you're finally able to do something to take care of a family member or friend. It might mean that you start some sort of habit that is inspired by some sort of environmental or social concern. And that would be a wonderful use of this energy.

The cool thing about Mars trine to Neptune is it softens the demands of Mars and empowers us to embody in a material, realistic sense our spiritual values and ideals. It's kind of cool, but you've got to use the energy with intention in order to get any kind of outcome if you know what I mean.

Now, the second transit that's exact on this date is Mercury trine to Chiron. This transit, along with the other exact one, which is Mercury sextile to Saturn—they both indicate kind of a stability in our perspectives. So, in the context of the Sun conjunction to Mercury, again, we want to be curious. We want to not take things at face value completely. But if we do the work, there's some sort of stability that Chiron and Saturn can bring, especially if we're willing to do the work to investigate things that are kind of pain points for us, things that we have insecurities or a sense of right and wrong, a rigid sense of right and wrong, around.

And so, within all of this, the potential for finding the truth, the potential for seeing the bigger picture, the potential for getting out of our own ways and opening up to possibility, it's wonderful and beautiful. And, also, it can kind of go sideways of that, and it can show up as being really idealistic and not using common sense, but instead just going on faith alone. And hey. I'm not here to shit on going on faith alone. No, I am not. However, when we over-rely on one tool or resource, we often then need to develop other skills.

So what I'm trying to say here is pair your intuition with intellect. Pair your intellect with intuition. Your empathy is so important, but so is common sense. We want to be able to have a balanced approach to how we engage with others and how we maintain self-care, how we move through the world and how we pace ourselves through that journey. That's the move. And for everyone, that's going to look different. And in different periods of your life, it's going to look different. But this week, these transits are here to kind of get us to check in with that stuff or to learn about the effectiveness of how we're approaching our ideas and our beliefs.

On the 30th, we have another trio of transits that are exact. We've got a Sun trine to Chiron, a Sun sextile to Saturn, and a Venus sextile to Neptune. Let me break it down. The Sun trine to Chiron and the Sun sextile to Saturn, again, are both stabilizing. They empower us to connect to our own energies. So that's because of the Sun. The Sun is related to your will and your essential whole self. These transits empower us to really get centered or grounded and to deal with things that we've been maybe putting off or not knowing how to deal with.

These transits are fortifying. Now, if you don't really do anything with them, you're not really going to notice this stuff. That's the trouble with trines and sextiles. We have to make use of the benefic flow of energy that is happening because if we don't, then it'll just feel like a slightly easy day or a pleasant time. If you use the energy, however, you can fortify yourself. You can ground yourself and, through the process of this, get clearer about your intentions, your motivations, get clearer about how you're going to approach things and how much energy you actually have to sustain those efforts.

This can be a really great time for dealing with family, as a lot of people have to around November/December times. And so show up as yourself, as your adult intentional self, whatever that looks like, whatever that means. That's something that Chiron and Saturn really want you to do because these two planets are very keyed into family issues. So you might be dealing with your family of origin, or you may be dealing with relationships that mirror family dynamics for you. Whatever it is, again, bringing intention into your behavior and your responses will be very, very well starred at this time.

On the 30th, we have a third transit, which is a Venus sextile to Neptune. This is another lovely transit, and not dissimilarly from the Mars trine to Neptune. This transit is really lovely for increasing empathy. It's great for art if you're a creative person. This is a good time to make stuff, enjoy stuff, play. On a romantic tip, this transit is also really lovely because it can increase empathy and compassion. It can make you feel idealistic and romantic about someone. It can show up in your life as just feeling really loved or held or like you're experiencing yearning for romance and connection in a way that isn't harmful, but instead hopeful. It's a really lovely transit.

But again, my friends, in the context of the Eclipse season that we're in, in the context of the morphic field, which is the collective energies that are at play, there's so much defensiveness and uncertainty and fear and anxiety and disassociation that all of these empathy-increasing transits, while they're lovely on their own, can end up making you feel—especially if you're an empath or a highly empathetic or sensitive person, can make you feel kind of bananas, can make you feel kind of chaotic and overwhelmed and confused by your feelings, because it may or may not actually match the circumstances of your life.

I've talked about this on the show before, but if you are a highly sensitive person, however you come by those sensitivities, I want to strongly encourage you to stay informed about world events. Stay informed about what's happening in the world, in the news. Don't put your head in the sand, because by knowing what's happening in the world, it can help you to contextualize what your sensitivities are aligned with, what you're picking up on, and that points you towards where your guides want you to be engaged and activated. Right? We do not have our sensitivities and our gifts for no reason. It's not meant as a punishment. It's meant to really keep us connected to the welfare and well-being of others and the planet around us. It's good information to have anyways.

So we're done with November, and it brings us to the first and only transit in December this week. And it's a Solar Eclipse. Of course it is. No big deal. Just a fucking Solar Eclipse. Solar Eclipses only happen during New Moons. Lunar Eclipses are Full Moons. We just went through a Lunar Eclipse, and giddy-up. It's time for a Solar Eclipse at 11:43 p.m. Pacific Time. So, depending on where you're at in the world, it may show up for you on the 4th. But here we are. In California, where I am, it's happening 11:43 p.m. on the 3rd of December.

Now, before I get too many details, I will remind you that the effects of a Solar Eclipse will take about six months to play out. So everything that's been happening over the last two weeks in your life, everything that's been happening in the last few weeks in the world, they will continue to play themselves out over the next six months, and we won't see the full breadth of the consequences for these things for that amount of time. It's a very big deal, and that may make you feel overwhelmed or bummed, or it may actually spark hope for you, depending on where you're at and what's going on.

But things are not always as they seem during an Eclipse. Things may seem like they're not really going anywhere when you're actually at the precipice of something major. Things may seem like you're heading in the wrong direction—you're losing everything—when that might be exactly what's needed for something new and better to come in. You just can't know. When things are painful or when they're delightful, strive to be interested. Strive to be open and present without attaching meaning or locking yourself into a narrative about what this is, what this means, why it happened. Maybe you're right. Maybe your story's right. But maybe it isn't. Maybe it's a limited story. You want to try to be present.

So here we have this New Moon at 12 degrees and 22 minutes of Sagittarius. The Sun and Moon are conjunct each other, and the first thing to know about the Solar Eclipse chart is that Mercury is at 15 degrees of Sagittarius, so it is conjoined the Solar Eclipse, the Sun and Moon. And this transit can go either way. And as I talked about with the Sun conjunction to Mercury, what the kind of pros and cons are, this is only intensified by the fact that it's now active during the Eclipse.

This can be a really lovely, fun experience. It's totally possible. New Moons are great for setting intention and manifesting. Eclipses are terrible for setting intention and manifesting, so don't do any of that, my friends, I beseech you. But the reason why I named that New Moons are great for setting intention is because the potential here is that we start to see things more clearly and that we feel a sense of opening within ourselves or in our lives, in particular in our social lives, that feels really kind of exciting and that we're authentically interested in. That's totally possible.

Here's the other thing, though. With this chart and with this conjunction in particular, there can be major spread of misinformation or disinformation. Unfortunately, the theme of propaganda is a big one from this year. And I think we're seeing some sort of important spike right around now, and it has a great deal to do with this Eclipse. I want to remind you that everything is interconnected. None of these transits exist in a vacuum. None of these transits exist outside of time and space. So how you relate to truth, how you do research, how you listen, how you communicate, all of these things are connected to your early childhood. They're connected to last week. They're connected to your future.

So striving to be present and aligning with the truth, with your integrity to the best of your ability, is really important. Another thing to keep in mind is that because this Eclipse and Mercury conjunction is all in Sagittarius, the sign that governs international travel and higher education, this is a powerful time for expanding your viewpoint, for considering the big picture, even though Mercury, the planet obsessed with details, is involved. What we want to do under this influence is be open to expanding beyond what we've known, beyond what we've believed.

And there are so many positive ways that this can play out, really lovely. But, again, in the context of COVID, I want to urge real caution—real caution—because there is nothing in this Solar Eclipse chart that suggests conservatism or care. So people are likely to be acting out and acting out of impulsivity, acting out of defensiveness, and all kinds of other things that can lead to trouble, real trouble, my friends.

And on that note, Mars is forming a square to Jupiter in this chart. That means that we can expect arrogance, defensiveness, bravery, and adventure—a couple positives, a couple negatives. This aspect within the chart further iterates the kind of predisposition that we're going to have to jump to conclusions and want simple answers that transport us from where we are to someplace better. And you know what? Sometimes that's possible, and it's not a reliable bet for all the damn times.

As I was studying this chart, I was just like, okay. So, for really spiritual people, you might have this feeling of, "My faith will carry me, and I just need to be really hopeful and positive, and everything will work out." That might really happen for people, the sense of, "I don't need to look at the ground. I just need to focus on the sky." That can happen with all this Sagittarius, with this Mars square to Jupiter. The trouble is none of us exist in a vacuum. You want to consider the potential consequences for your actions, whether they are to you on a spiritual level or to your environment or to your future, whatever it is.

A little bit of consideration will go a real long way on the Eclipse but generally around the Eclipse as well. Not only is Mercury conjunct the Eclipse, but it's also sextile to Saturn, and that is a stabilizing aspect. There is real positive potential this Solar Eclipse. It's just working through defenses and confusion and a desire for easy answers or quick solutions. This is going to be the struggle. And you can see this. You can see this playing out in the collective because not only do Eclipses take about six months to play themselves out, but they build up for a long period of time. You can see this.

The Mercury sextile to Saturn stabilizes us. It gives us the willingness and ability to be a little bit more pragmatic in our thinking. But guess who's here to fuck that up. It's Neptune. Who else? We also have a Neptune/Mercury square in this chart. So the Neptune/Mercury square is an important one because it can take this faith-based impulsivity of all that Sagittarius energy, and it can infuse it with more faith, more idealism. That could be kind of cool. That could be really cool. And it also could mean that you feel anxious and distracted and overwhelmed and that your mind fixates on either a too-simple fix or a perspective where somebody else is completely responsible and you are not, or it can get you really focused on what is most stressful or upsetting to you.

Neptune is a planet that governs anxiety. And when it forms a square to Mercury, it can provoke a lot of mental anxiety and distractedness. And with all this Sagittarius energy, with the Mars/Jupiter square, that can lead to some bad behavior in all of us in small ways and large. So, if you're feeling anxious this Solar Eclipse—and when I say this Solar Eclipse, I certainly mean that date but around it as well—do your best to nurture and fortify yourself. That can look as simple as drink water. Drink enough water. Make sure that you've eaten, that your body is not in deficit. Little, little things. It can be that small, and it can also be larger things. It can be not calling that friend back that always makes you feel like shit about yourself, just giving it 72 hours. It might mean making a healthy choice where you have a tendency to make an unhealthy one or to not make a choice at all.

This Solar Eclipse, and in particular this aspect within the Solar Eclipse chart, is really asking us to consider our intentions, to consider our motivations, and to have healthy boundaries with ourselves first and foremost, and from there with the people and world around us. The reason why this is is actually for lots of things, but in the context of the Mercury/Neptune square, what this transit wants from us is to have healthy boundaries with our anxieties, with where we allow our thoughts to go, with how we manage our own wellness and self-care.

This is difficult stuff. It's especially difficult stuff in the firestorm of all this Sagittarian and Jupiter energy. And then, of course, we have this chronic Saturn/Uranus square still active in this chart, and this is upsetting a sense of reality. You can hang out with five friends, and we all have a completely different take on what is happening now. Right? This is a really destabilized time, which is not doing any favors for any of the other aspects.

And that brings us to the last very important aspect in this chart that I want to name, which is a Venus/Pluto conjunction. It's not great in the context of all this shit. So Venus conjunction to Pluto, it intensifies feelings, but not just any feelings—terror, resentment, all kinds of heavy, difficult-to-experience feelings. It can really trigger relationship shit. What happens under the Venus conjunction to Pluto is that it dramatically intensifies your feelings, especially your Venusian feelings, so your feelings or fears around your finances, your sense of security, the way you relate to others, how other people feel about you, whether or not you're loved, and whether or not people are receiving your love in the way you want.

This transit deepens our feelings, but because Pluto's involved, it has a compulsive edge to it. Pluto governs resentments and fears and, in particular, terror. And so, when we're dealing with a Pluto conjunction to Venus, there is a risk that we will act out of our strongest feelings instead of our wisest feelings, which is exactly what I have been saying throughout the reading of this chart is not what we should do. But Pluto is going to be egging that along. And so, whether you're the one who's acting out or you're dealing with someone else, if you can, have empathy for the fact that most people behave poorly out of pain and fear.

That doesn't mean you don't need to have boundaries. It doesn't mean that you don't have rights. But it does help to remember this because the Mercury square to Neptune and the Pluto conjunction to Venus can both make us feel really paranoid, like people are coming for us, like, "Why don't you like me? I thought I was being nice to you. Why are you being mean to me?" instead of being like, "Oh, wow, you must be having a terrible day because you're acting like a jerk. I'm not going to take it. I'm going to have boundaries. But it's also clearly not about me; it's about you."

Being able to hold that difference is really valuable. It can be really helpful. And, of course, in this episode, I answered a question for a listener about boundaries, but I've talked about boundaries a lot on the podcast. And if you're in the vibe of reviewing, Episodes 11, 38, 60, 88, and 136 all focus on boundaries in my readings for people. So, if you're really trying to work on boundaries right now, either because you really want to or because you really have to, those are resources for you to access if you're in the market. And all back episodes are on my website or wherever you listen to podcasts.

So this Venus conjunction to Pluto, this transit is an opportunity to love ourselves. This means not being fixated on what's happening outside of us, not responding only to our most powerful emotions or our deepest habits, not responding only to our fears, which may be really triggered around this date, but instead, really caring for us, knowing the difference between care and attention, and prioritizing true love and care. That might mean that you need to step away from relationships for a minute to get clear about what you're really feeling and why, what's happening and what you need to do with that.

Or it might look like things coming clear for you just kind of in a moment, in an instant. That can happen with all this Sagittarius energy. Things can kind of come together or materialize for you in some meaningful way. But whatever it is, if you can, avoid major proclamations around this date. You want to be in the feelings and let them change you. Let them work through your system. Allow yourself to experience what it is before you make it external, before you make it a performance.

This transit, this Solar Eclipse, is a bit wily. It's hard exactly to predict what will happen. We already know that there's social unrest across much of the globe. We already know that so many of the platforms that we spend so much of our lives on are not trustworthy. We already know that there's so much going on in the world that is uncertain, and a lot of the ways that we've gotten answers in the past—they're just not working the same way. So this is a time of uncertainty. And the powerful thing about periods of uncertainty is anything is possible.

So, this Solar Eclipse, if you are feeling confused or overwhelmed or like you're being kind of kicked around and you just don't know what's up and what's down, that's okay. That's kind of the transit. The work, then, is to be present. Don't lose your energy in the future or the past. Instead, be present. And in the present, you can heal the past. In the present, you can prepare for tomorrow, for the future. But you want to do it from here and now, from your heart, from your body, from your mind in the present moment. This is likely to feel difficult because of all of the energy that the Solar Eclipse is bringing with it, but that's the damn assignment. What are you going to do?

And, my loves, that's it. That's your horoscope for the week. I'm going to run through the dates of the transits one more time. But, as always, I want to remind you if you haven't already subscribed to Astrology For Days over at astrologyfordays.com, it's my transit-tracking pro tool for astrology students and pro astrologers, so you should definitely check that out.

Okay. Let's go. On the 28th of November, we have a Sun conjunction to Mercury. On the 29th, Mars is trine to Neptune, Mercury is trine to Chiron, and Mercury is sextile to Saturn. On the 30th, we have a Sun trine to Chiron, a Sun sextile to Saturn, and a Venus sextile to Neptune. And then, finally, on the 3rd of December—hey, December, what's up—it's a Solar Eclipse at 11:43 p.m. Pacific Time. And that Solar Eclipse is, of course, in Sagittarius. And that's it. That's your damn horoscope.

I want to thank you this week and always for joining me for Ghost, and I hope you get value from it. If you do, please do subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Write me a review or give me a little five-star "Hello, thank you very much." And, of course, join me over on Patreon, where I get real astrological and woo all the damn time, and I really fucking love it.

I'll talk to you next week. Stay safe out there. Buh-bye.