Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Jessica:            Rahul, welcome to the podcast. What would you like a reading about?

Rahul:             Okay. Hi, Jessica. First of all, I love you. I listen to you like an absolute maniac, and I am ever so grateful to you for sharing so much amazing knowledge with us in the most entertaining ways, even though I know you don't mean to be entertaining.

Jessica:            Thank you.

Rahul:             Anyway, I won't loiter about my question. I'm a Capricorn Sun, Scorpio Rising, and a Pisces Moon. I'm originally from India but live and work in Brooklyn, New York, as a graphic designer now. I'm Gay and out of the closet to just my parents and friends back home and to all my people in the U.S. So my question is a lot about astrology.

                        Astrology used to be so big in India, almost in a scary way, so much so that I didn't really believe in it and used to look at it as a scammy capitalist tool. But ever since living in the U.S. and with a slow intro to Western astrology through friends, podcasts, astrology apps, and some really good astrology books⁠—has made me crazily obsessed with it, so much so that it's unhealthy, maybe. I tell my friends it's almost like a religion for me. They mock me, except a few who just get it.

                        But apart from that, I do get a lot of judgment for being an astrology freak by my friends and potential dates who don't really believe in it. It makes me like them less, of course. I encounter even more dilemmas and fears when things start to get intimate or even while figuring out what I really want from relationships versus what is learned through experience and culture versus what my chart should say about my dating patterns because of astrology or the partners that I choose.

                        I know I might be going overboard. I'm sorry. But I wanted to mention that I have had to move on from a really traumatic breakup over the last 1.5 years with a very [indiscernible 00:02:21] Scorpio with a double Libra in his triad. It's the longest relationship I have had and used to think of him as my forever love. It went on for about 2.5 to 3 years, even though the last 1.5 year of it was full of toxicity because our Suns were compatible but Moons and Risings were not. And that has just made me very traumatized about air energy, especially Libra placements⁠—no hate to them. I love being their friend, but I feel it could never work in a romantic partnership if they have a lot of air sign placements.

                        Is it wrong of me to judge or assume or almost predict so much based on chart? I mostly am very intuitive and see flags of air sign behavior without having to ask their top three, but I always feel wrong about this way of thinking or approaching my dating life. Funny thing is that all I come across in dating, especially as of late, are air signs. I don't understand why what is. Maybe you can help.

Jessica:            Mm-hmm. (laughs)

Rahul:             Sorry. That was a mouthful of questions.

Jessica:            No, it's good. It's good. Okay. And you're comfortable sharing your birth data, right?

Rahul:             Yes, I am.

Jessica:            Great. January 16, 1994, in New Delhi, India, 3:06 a.m. local time.

Rahul:             Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            Okay. There's so much to your question, and I love this question. And let's dig in. There are so many parts to this. I'm going to start with the second part you named, the Libra part.

Rahul:             Okay.

Jessica:            And is your thing like you don't want to date air signs, or you don't want to date Libras?

Rahul:             Hard question. But Libra, in particular, I feel very triggered by because they just maybe remind me too much of my ex or how I would be treated in the future with my partner.

Jessica:            So there's several things I'll say about this. First of all, you have a stellium in Capricorn. You've got Mars, Neptune, Uranus, Venus, and the Sun very close by degree, all within 5 degrees of each other, just stacked up in that second house. So, even though it's a Capricorn stellium, it's in the house of Taurus. It's a Venus-ruled house. So it's not surprising to me that you're drawn to somebody with a lot of Libra placements because they are Venusian, and you're Venusian in your very Capricorn way.

                        You like a person who's going to come in soft, come in gentle, not be up in your face and aggressive. You have Libra on the eleventh-house cusp. The eleventh house is the place we find friendships.

Rahul:             Wow. That makes so much sense.

Jessica:            So you have Libra friends, right?

Rahul:             Right. So many.

Jessica:            So many.

Rahul:             I'm always attracting Libra energy, and Taurus, too.

Jessica:            Well, this is the thing⁠—right? Because you've got a second-house stellium. It's very Taurean. The problem is you've got a Scorpio Rising. And so, yeah, Taurus people are going to be triggering. And the way that they are stubborn is going to bump up against the ways that you are stubborn. And there might not be enough juice for things to get really intimate or for you to get really vulnerable with them, hence the fact that Libra, another cardinal sign⁠—so whenever we're dealing with the cardinals, Capricorn, Cancer, Aries, Libra, they're always going to just be evocative to you. You hate them. You love them. You think they're super hot. You think they're super not hot. They always kick something up in you.

                        But here's the thing. While, yes, there's an inherent incompatibility between somebody with so much Capricorn and somebody with a lot of Libra⁠—there's an inherent incompatibility because the ways in which you are just being your best self is going to be triggering to the other person. There's an incompatibility there. I could say the opposite. I could also say there's a reason why fucking you dated somebody for two and a half or three years with a bunch of Libra, because the lessons that the two of you sparked in each other are actually things you need to work on, whether or not you're dating that guy or in that relationship.

                        And because of that, what I would say is two things. And the first one is I wouldn't decide to never date a Libra or an air sign again. I mean, fuck. You've got Gemini on your eighth-house cusp. Girl, that means you're going to want to have sex with air signs, at least sometimes, for sure.

Rahul:             That's why it's been like that ever since I've been out of my breakup, trying to feel out what's out there. I've just ran into air signs. And it's been good, and it's been very airy. And I mean⁠—but yeah, I have my fears around it, hence the question.

Jessica:            Okay. So I'm going to get to the second part of my answer, but let me get to another part of my answer here, okay? So I mentioned that you have Libra on the eleventh-house cusp. You also have it on the twelfth-house cusp. And so the reason why Libras are the big trigger versus Geminis or Aquariuses⁠—the other two air signs⁠—is partially because you have so much Capricorn in you, so of course you're going to vibe with a cardinal sign in that particular way.

                        The books and the apps will often say, "This sign's bad, and that sign's good." And I patently reject that, fucking 100 percent reject it. You are never going to be attracted to someone who you don't have friction with. Attraction is friction. Chemistry is friction. People who you have no friction with you're never going to want to hook up with, you're never going to pursue a friendship with, you're never going to seriously date. None of us do, because we need a little juj. You know what I mean? You need a little push and pull.

Rahul:             You need a little challenge.

Jessica:            You do. You need challenge and passion. But again, Libra⁠—you've got the anaretic degree, 29 degrees, 47 minutes of Libra, on the twelfth-house cusp. And this means that Libras get into your unconscious parts. They peek into that part of you that you don't let people into on purpose, which is where your very besties may be, people with Libra placements. And you may find yourself once again seriously dating somebody with a strong Libra placement.

Rahul:             Wow. I'm blown away by that.

Jessica:            But listen. Listen. The very definition of a rebound to a relationship is when you're dating somebody who is the opposite of what you just did.  So, if you just dated somebody and the reason why it didn't work out you can astrologically understand is because of how Libra they were, then yeah, you're not going to date a Libra now. But that doesn't mean that you might yet again date them, and it doesn't mean that you should assume that all people with even the exact same Libra placements as your ex would have the level of maturity/embodiment as him or would have the rest of the chart as him, because it isn't really just about the Libra placements. It's about how he embodies them and how it does or doesn't fit with the rest of his chart.

Rahul:             Yeah. Totally.

Jessica:            And that brings me to another thing, which is I have a rule: I do not look at people's charts when I date them. Okay, so you haven't heard me say this before. I'm very intense about this, and people will often roll their eyes at me about this. If I'm getting into business with someone, I don't look at their chart. I mean, it depends. At a certain level, with business, I might. When I'm developing a friendship with somebody, I don't look at their charts. Girl, I don't even ask for their big three.

Rahul:             Aren't you even curious?

Jessica:            No. I mean, sometimes I'm curious, but⁠—

Rahul:             Maybe you're guessing in your mind.

Jessica:            No, no, no. Never guessing. Never guessing. Let me tell you why.

Rahul:             Why?

Jessica:            Because the only way to get to know someone is to actually listen to who they tell you they are and who they show you they are. And of course, I've been an astrologer, in fact, since the year of your birth. And I have asked people and looked at their charts when I fell in love with them and looked at their charts when I was heartbroken by them and tried to understand. And what I eventually learned was that what I was doing and what everybody does when you do that is you're trying to protect yourself from being hurt, and you're trying to get a kind of knowledge that will keep you safe.

                        And if you want emotional relationships and physical relationships, then you cannot use your mind to achieve safety, comfort, and compatibility. And astrology is of the mind. And so I am actually going to encourage everyone to first get to know someone. First, learn how to trust yourself. First, learn how to really listen to them. If they are⁠—a negative⁠ stereotype of Libra is wishy-washy, maybe not always good for their word. Maybe they don't say what they mean.

                        If you start to find that that's what's happening, handle it. And if handling it makes you less compatible, then get out of it. Then look at their chart and get the validation. What you will find is that you are attracted to certain people⁠—and by certain people, I mean certain kinds of astrological markers⁠—at different periods of your life. You know what I mean? And that's because you're activated around different parts of your birth chart.

                        And it would be overly reductive, in my view, to limit yourself to imagine that what works for you at the age of 30 is going to be the same at the age of 33⁠—fucking 33 in three years, let alone 39, let alone 42, let alone⁠—keep on going, right?

Rahul:             Yeah.

Jessica:            If you don't evolve, then what's true for you at 30 will remain true for you forever. But you're going to evolve. You fuck with astrology. You're trying to evolve, right?

Rahul:             Sure.

Jessica:            That's the fucking point. And it's like⁠—hold on. Let me say it this way. When I look back at my life so far, I can see there were a period of my early 20s⁠—and I had so many fucking Pisces in my life. I was like a Pisces magnet. And then there was a point in my later 20s when everybody around me was Capricorn. I can look at different periods of my life and see I was attracting different astrological archetypes because I was working through different parts of myself.

                        And basically, what this means is that you are right that something happened in that relationship with your ex that did not bring out the best in you and did not make you happy. That's correct?

Rahul:             Yeah, that's correct.

Jessica:            Yeah. And we can attribute that to the Libra stuff. Sure. Maybe it's that. Maybe it's not that. It doesn't even matter to me.

Rahul:             Maybe it's⁠—yeah, [crosstalk].

Jessica:            I mean, I have to ask because your question was long enough that I forgot some pieces. What year were you with this guy? What year did you meet him?

Rahul:             October of 2020.

Jessica:            So it was during lockdown.

Rahul:             Pandemic. Yes, [crosstalk].

Jessica:            Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Pandemic love. That is a deep kind of thing right there. Okay. So let's look at October 2020. Exactly as I suspected. So guess what was happening.

Rahul:             What?

Jessica:            Pluto was conjunct Venus.

Rahul:             Oh.

Jessica:            Pluto was conjunct your Venus and your Sun. And your Pluto conjunction to Uranus was ending. Pluto conjunction to Venus is a once-in-a-lifetime transit, does not happen to everyone, and every single person who goes through it who gets into a relationship has their ass handed to them because what happens is you get involved with somebody, and it feels like there's a magic cord connecting you. It's like this compulsive, passionate, chemistry-fueled⁠—

Rahul:             Oh my God. Yes.

Jessica:            Yes. It's like, "Yes, yes, yes. I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with this person." And what you find is that it's Plutonian. It brings out your most intense and compulsive parts, and it does so so that you become aware of them and you get to check in with whether or not those parts line up with your values. And when you find that they don't, that you're not being true to yourself in the relationship, or when you are true to yourself in the relationship, the person you're with treats you like shit or disappears on you, abandons you⁠—whatever the case may be⁠—you're supposed to leave.

Rahul:             Right.

Jessica:            So, generally speaking, I would say 99.9 percent of the time, relationships that begin under that influence are not meant to last. And that transit will never happen again. And I will say to you Pluto conjunction to Venus is why it was terrible from an astrological viewpoint, and not his Libra placements.

Rahul:             That actually tracks. I feel like when it was ending, that was the time of our Saturn Return, too. When I was coming out of it, that was mine, and he was a year older, so it happened a year sooner. That's why he kind of [indiscernible 00:16:07]. So he kind of pulled away a year before I did, and that kind of makes sense with our Saturn Return, too.

Jessica:            It does. And also, the transit wasn't completely over until December 2022, which is around when the relationship ended, eh?

Rahul:             Yeah. That's exactly when it ended. Oh my God.

Jessica:            So here's some good news. The good news is when you dig deeper into your personal transits, you start to understand that he was exactly what you needed in order to go through that transit. And in the realm of that transit, honestly, it is within the realm of what is normal and expected within this transit that we get into abusive relationships.

                        While there were harmful dynamics between the two of you and serious boundary issues, from what I'm seeing intuitively, it wasn't abusive. It was harmful to each other, but it wasn't abusive. Am I seeing this correctly?

Rahul:             I mean, towards the end, it was toxic to the point of really bad fights and really verbal arguments that can take us anywhere. But that was only because⁠—it was complicated because I had to stay with him after our breakup for six months because I couldn't [indiscernible 00:17:32] place to move out.

Jessica:            Oh, that's awful. And again, fucking Pluto, right, because Pluto makes you feel trapped, and it puts you in a position where you have to let go, but often, you cannot. So I want to say this: it could have went a lot fucking worse. It could have been a lot better, but it could have been a lot worse from an astrological viewpoint. But again, if we pull back to the bigger question that you have, that I think a lot of people have, if you wrote off all Libras just because you went through a shitty Pluto transit, then you might actually be using astrology to limit what you're capable of.

                        And what I would contend is the thing that you really need to work on is not managing the amount of air signs you let into your heart or your bed, but instead to notice what comes up for you when you pick up on that fucking vibe, and try to be more mindful around how you engage because if you're attracting them like clockwork, I mean, either the Universe is broken or there's a reason. I'm going to go with there's a reason. And I have theories about the reason, to be honest, but we will get there a little bit later.

Rahul:             Okay.

Jessica:            This is all to say it is an incredibly rare day that I will encourage somebody to avoid dating a particular sign. It's a very rare day because, almost always, I can do what I just did with you, which is find the reason why it was terrible that has to do with you and not with the person you were with⁠—

Rahul:             Right.

Jessica:            ⁠—which is not about "It was your fault." It's about, if we use astrology as⁠—for me, it's not a belief system per se. We can talk about that a little bit more in a minute. But if we use it as a tool for predicting the weather, we could have looked at your birth chart when you were five years old and been like, "2020 through 2022, this is what the relationships is going to be like." And you could have picked somebody with a lot of fucking Sagittarius and have that experience. All things came together, and he had a couple Libra placements.

                        But this was the time that you were going to experience that one transit. And that's the part to focus on because that's the part that's all yours. There are Libras in the world or people with Libra placements that you're going to be really compatible with, and then there's people who you're really not. Cross each bridge as you come to it is my attitude.

                        And again, all that said, Libra is on your eleventh-house cusp. You've got a lot of Libra friends, and that's chill. That's not the trigger. The trigger is when they get into your twelfth house, when they get into your subconscious, and then there's this really intense intimacy that occurs, and from there we go.

Rahul:             Right.

Jessica:            So I just dropped a lot on you. I want to take a pause and see, do you have any questions? Does that bring up anything?

Rahul:             Just one thing that comes up is that I have always struggled with the idea of monogamy⁠—not struggled with it, but that was what the breakup was around, too. And that is what I kind of began to associate with air/fire energy or even his Libra placements that wanted to open our relationship. And just, I think, the biggest reason why it ended was I look back at it now and I'm like, "Maybe I could have done an open relationship with him, but had he asked for it the right way."

Jessica:            Right.

Rahul:             And now, in my dating life, I'm encountering scenarios where I am required to be open, or somebody's open, or everyone's open. And I am more open to that idea now, which is shocking to see that change in me and makes me look back at why I couldn't do it then versus why I'm⁠—maybe I'm just⁠—

Jessica:            I have the answers. I have the answer, I'm so happy to say, because I don't always have the answer. But I have the answer. Okay. You have a stellium in Capricorn, and you have a Pluto conjunction to your Ascendant in Scorpio. You don't like sharing your toys.

Rahul:             Right.

Jessica:            You don't like sharing your toys. The more you like him, the more possessive you're going to be. Is that bad? Is that good? It's neither. It's your nature. That said, you have a Uranus/Venus conjunction. Also, Uranus is conjunct your Sun. And what this means is that, yeah, you get bored. Yeah, you could be nonmonogamous. You could be like, "Yes, we're together, but every once in a while, I go out without you."

                        This is not like a polyamorous placement for you. This is a nonmonogamous placement. It's like you could go hit it as long as you quit it as soon as you hit it. We're good. That could work for you with the right trust in place. Here's the "but." You have a Mars/Neptune conjunction, and a Mars/Neptune conjunction makes sex kind of spiritual and personal.

Rahul:             Yeah, for sure.

Jessica:            It's personal for you. It's not for everybody, but for you, it is personal. And so you're going to have really good sex with somebody you trust. And why would you run around town having a lot of sex if it's not good? What is the value there?

Rahul:             Yeah. That makes no sense.

Jessica:            None. Zero. Zero. And so there are lots of things in your chart that suggest that you could get in there, get some, go home⁠—not if you like him. Not if you like him, and not if you're actually ready to be in a relationship. Right now, you're still recovering from the ex, so you can get out there, try some shit, see how it goes. But when you were going through a Pluto conjunction to Venus, as you were during the whole relationship, you were like, "Let us start a life. Let us tattoo our names on each other's bodies."

That is what the transit makes you do. It makes you get really deep, really intense. And when that's how you feel, you do not want to share. And there is nothing bad or good about liking monogamy, and there's nothing bad or good about liking polyamory or nonmonogamy. It's just some people like to put mayonnaise on their fries; some people don't⁠—although I think mayonnaise is utterly disgusting and no one should use it for French fries. But the metaphor stands. The metaphor stands.

So all to say you could not have been nonmonogamous with that guy. There wasn't the trust. There wasn't the communication, and the feelings weren't like that for you. And this is back to what I was saying earlier is like, well, yeah, at 29, you couldn't be nonmonogamous. Apparently, at 30, you can.

Rahul: Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. And that's not a sign of, "Oh shit. Why couldn't I do it at 29?" It's, "Oh. Wow. I've evolved. Something's changed." And it might change back. I bet it'll change back with the right guy and the right moment. And that's not bad or good. It's just about what's up now, where you're at now.

Rahul:             By that, you mean the global transits [crosstalk].

Jessica:            No, your personal transits.

Rahul:             Okay.

Jessica:            No. Good question. So, by that, I mean⁠—okay. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. So, right now, Pluto is not doing anything to you. But guess what's going to happen? It's going to come for your Mercury at 3 degrees of Aquarius.

Rahul:             Okay.

Jessica:            Mm-hmm. It's coming next year.

Rahul:             Oh, be conjunct with my Mercury.

Jessica:            Correct. And that transit does a lot of things. It doesn't particularly fuck with your sex life or your love life. This could be a time where your career takes off in a whole new way, and it could be a time where you have major stuff with your friendships. You may decide to write something, or your voice will take on a deeper significance. And I don't mean your literal voice. I mean your thoughts, your beliefs, your attitudes.

                        Things are going to evolve in a meaningful way. And Pluto conjunctions are not inherently bad or good, but they are inherently intense. And so, for you, anything that hits Capricorn in your birth chart is hitting intercepted planets because in your birth chart, you have Sagittarius on the second-house cusp and Aquarius on the third-house cusp, which means all 30 degrees of Capricorn are intercepted in your second house.

And when we have intercepted energies, even though you've got⁠—most of your chart is in Capricorn, in the second house. Because it's intercepted, it's harder for you to identify and locate those parts of yourself. So other people see them just fine. Everyone's like, "Yeah, he's a fucking Capricorn." But there's parts of you that are like, "Yeah, but also, maybe"⁠—because it's harder to own those parts of ourselves. And the reason why is because anywhere from a year before your birth until you were about seven years old, the energies of Mars⁠, Neptune, Uranus, Venus, and the Sun were modeled for you by one or both of your parents as things to really hide away and not embody. I'm guessing this is your mom, but I really can't tell.

This is Capricorn planets in the second house, so this may be your parents⁠—they themselves were from two different cultures, and one of them felt that⁠—culture could mean any number of things; could be class, could be religion⁠—that one of them felt that they had to shut down a lot of their personality and a lot of their values and to do all of that in order to be a parent, in order to be a partner. It could be something like that. Was that the experience?

Rahul:             Yeah. My mom, I think, very much was from a slightly different culture from my dad in terms of class, I would say. And my mom typically⁠—and I'm an only child, so I'm really close to my parents.

Jessica:            Oh, wow. You're an only child.

Rahul:             [crosstalk] siblings to me, and they still play a very active role. They're almost like my friends and⁠—very close to them. And seeing their love story with each other also makes me, I think, have idealism around monogamy. And so that's why I think I struggle with it.

Jessica:            So I'll say a couple things to that. One is your mother, it looks like, gave up a lot of herself to be what your dad wanted. And it was consensual. He didn't force her. But she felt that that was the way to make him love her and to make it work for the family. And that looks really good from the outside because it was consensual. But the reality is that would never work for you in a million years, for a lot of factors⁠—a lot of factors.

                        And also, monogamy is ideal for you⁠—maybe not in all times of your life. Right now, it might not be the best way to go. I'm not saying forever and ever. But I am saying, ultimately, if you end up with a partner, you will probably have a baseline monogamous agreement, which may be⁠—there's travel. There's shit that happens. We open doors. We let someone crawl out the window. You know what I mean? We do shit.

                        But monogamy is a great structure for you. You like knowing what the rules are. You like knowing what the expectations are. You like knowing what you can do and where the line is so that you don't cross it. You got a lot of Capricorn in you. And again, I know in Queer world, there's all this pressure to be poly or nonmonogamous. But the whole point of being Queer, other than just being yourself, is being yourself.

Rahul:             Right.

Jessica:            If monogamy works for you, monogamy is what works for you.

Rahul:             Yeah.

Jessica:            There's another part of your question that was at the first half of your question, which is your relationship to astrology itself, right?

Rahul:             Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            Will you clarify the question for me about⁠—

Rahul:             About astrology?

Jessica:            Yeah. You mentioned you treat it like a religion.

Rahul:             Yeah. I feel like I owe this to my Capricorn, but I just treat a lot of things almost like a religion. And people who have to be close to me⁠—they somewhat have to checkmark on at least agreeing or seeing eye-to-eye to some basic things. That's a very Capricornian thing.

Jessica:            Yeah. It is. And also, I'm a triple Capricorn, Sun/Moon/Rising. And I go out of my way to only have relationships with people who are not that into astrology, or for the most part. That's gotten really hard over the last few years, so all my newer friends are into astrology. But it's partially also your Pluto conjunction to the Ascendant. You're like, "This is how it is. It's my way. It's the way." So it's that Pluto/Ascendant conjunction that makes it so that it has to be like that; otherwise, you're just like, "I don't know."

                        But that all said, I want to just acknowledge this thing and then better clarify your question because this thing of, "Is astrology a belief system?"⁠—it's a question that doesn't have an answer. I think a lot of people believe in astrology, and a lot of people are religious or have a religious background, and then they apply it to astrology. You can be a Muslim astrologer, a Christian astrologer, just a deep fucking woo-woo, New Agey astrologer.

                        I, being the Capricorn I am⁠—I don't believe in astrology at all. I don't believe in it. I use it. It's a tool. The tool works. I keep using it. I also don't believe in ibuprofen, but I use it, and it works most of the time. It does not work all the time. Have you ever taken ibuprofen, and you still have a headache?

Rahul:             Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            It's the same thing as astrology for me. It's just like it's a tool, and it works most of the time. And the one time that it doesn't work, don't say, "Therefore, it doesn't work." But if I took ibuprofen every time I had cramps or a headache and it never worked, I would stop taking ibuprofen. I think my way of holding it versus your way of holding it⁠—it's not a right or a wrong. It's just I wanted to share my perspective because it's different.

                        There's something really valuable about being able to be adaptable with how we hold our beliefs because astrology does require a lot of belief. You have to believe in timing things. You have to believe in the effects of Saturn on a populace or something. You know what I mean? There's a lot of belief stuff in there. The thing that's tricky, though, is that astrology is this very complicated, nuanced system. And when we talk about, for instance, your relationship to Libra men⁠—right⁠?—has become very fucking developed. There is a lot of lore around Libra men for you now. But it took me like 30 seconds to be like, "Actually, it was a Pluto transit." So does that rattle your belief at all, or should it? I don't know.

But I will say the thing that always makes me nervous when people believe in astrology is that astrology is a really complicated system. You have to understand the math. There's so many fucking things happening at once, and it's really hard to have all the information. Sometimes I look at a chart or I look at⁠—in particular, I look at my chart and I'll be like, "What? What does that mean?" and I'll call an astrologer friend. And sometimes my astrologer friend will be like, "Oh, it's x, y, z." And I'll be like, "Eh, they're just saying that because they're a, b, c." And so I'll call a different astrologer friend because everyone has a different take based on their birth charts, based on their astrology, basically.

I'm not saying, therefore, astrology doesn't work. It works, obviously. We know it works. But my attitude is when we get too precious with it, we stop asking questions. And when you stop asking questions, you actually don't get to the truth. Then we get these overly easy answers. And so much of what we have the tendency to do in our culture at this time is focus on the big three. And the big three⁠—I mean, you know, it didn't help us to figure out that you were going through a Pluto transit.

Rahul: That's so true.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Rahul: And this Mars⁠—like, I'm sure, like, they [indiscernible 00:34:38].

Jessica:            I mean, for who you're dating, a little bit. And in particular, what does the Rising sign have to do with anything in this conversation? Is the Rising sign important? So, in your chart, it is, because Pluto is conjunct it. But is the fact that you're a Scorpio Rising a big part of his story about you? Maybe; maybe not.

Rahul:             Right.

Jessica:            The reality is you are both going through your Saturn Returns. Your Saturn is conjunct your IC. So it was all about⁠—again, IC is the lowest point of the chart. So you know what the MC is, the Midheaven?

Rahul:             Oh, yes. That's the⁠—

Jessica:            So the IC is the opposite line. So the IC is the lowest point in the chart, and what this means is⁠—so it's the fourth-house cusp, in other words. And the fourth-house cusp, a.k.a. IC, is one of the four angles. And this particular angle, the fourth-house cusp⁠—think of it this way. If the birth chart is a tree and the Midheaven is the top of the leaves⁠—it's your reputation. It's your conscious life goals. It's your career. Right? It's the top of the leaves. It's where the Sun touches it. It's what people can see.

                        The IC is the roots of the tree, under the surface. It's your home life. It's your innermost psychology. It's your relationship to making someone your family. Your Saturn Return⁠—we could have known when you were five years old your Saturn Return was going to be about your relationship with the family and your insecurities and fears around not being able to create one, which is not what you said, but I'm guessing that's part of what came up in the relationship.

Rahul:             Yeah, for sure. He was really like my family, and I had to give him up, essentially, and leave our house and move out to this new place. And then he just became a stranger, and it's awful. I lost my best friend. And our egos are just too massive to ever reach out to each other again.

Jessica:            Yeah. I'm sorry. But I'll say this. Sometimes people come into our lives for a finite period of time so that we can learn something. As astrologers, we can look at the transits to know what that finite period of time is, to the day a lot of times, and to know exactly what the lesson is. And it is rare⁠—not impossible, but very rare⁠—that someone who we have a Plutonian relationship with while we're going through not one, actually, but two⁠—Pluto is sitting directly on top of your Venus and your Sun, which are 15 minutes apart, not even half a degree apart. So Pluto is sitting right on top of those two points.

It is rare that we can maintain a relationship after the transit's over because we feel shame about the relationship or our role in it. When Pluto sits on top of planets, oftentimes, we're like, "I'm going to burn it to the ground," and we act out of our craziness. We act out of the parts of ourselves that are not rational, not reasonable, but really intensely feeling. And that's not even fucking talking about your Saturn Return. You know what I mean?

So this is where it is really important to recognize, if you do believe in astrology⁠—to also understand how much you don't know and that some of that means that your assessments and assumptions are going to have to be overly simplified because you can't know what you don't know. And also, there being so much that you don't know is a gift because if life was really programmable, if life was really just a bunch of fucking code that just⁠—I'm assuming as a graphic designer, you work with UX and UI; you do some coding, right?

If it was programmable to the extent that, on paper, astrology kind of promises⁠—right? It's like, "It's a language. It's math. We can chart it." Also, we can't, because listen. I could have told you at any age the themes you would've been going through between the years of 2020 and 2023, and it would have been spot-on. However, I could have worded it in any number of ways to make inaccurate. Do you know what I mean? So I might have been speaking to the energies but not the lived experience.

And so, if we go back to what you were originally saying about how astrology just felt scammy and not it for you, that's because of how it was being held, not because of astrology itself.

Rahul: Right. Totally.

Jessica:            And this is where it's important⁠—people often will say, "Oh, my astrology says x." Astrology doesn't say shit. People say shit. So it's, "An astrologer says x." And this is where I am very protective of both humans⁠—like you specifically. I'm protective of you and your heart and your head. And then I'm also protective of astrology, this thing I've dedicated my life to, that I'm like, "Let's protect this. Let's study this. Let's use this."

                        Both of these things⁠—I'm holding them separately because when we overfocus on, let's say, the big three, then we're ignoring so many layers of complexity, so many layers of complexity. And then it becomes easy for some people to be like, "Eh, the big three doesn't really resonate with me." And lots of people don't resonate with their big three, and there is a reason why. There's two reasons why. One is other things in their chart contradict it. That's one thing. The other thing is you didn't word it right.

                        So lots of people come to me, and they're like, "I have a lot of Capricorn in my chart, but it doesn't make any sense. I'm not conservative. I'm not uptight. I'm like a weird queerdo. I go out and I do my thing," because there's not only one way of interpreting Capricorn energies. Is this making sense? What I'm getting at is that I'm not trying to convince you to not believe in astrology.

Rahul:             Of course.

Jessica:            But also⁠—but there's a "but." There's a "but." If we weave too tight of a narrative about other people or situations, then we're no longer present. And that's why I stopped looking at people's charts in my personal life, because it's not fair. I can look at your chart and know what was happening when you were 12. I can look at your chart⁠—you're 30 now⁠—and know what's going to happen at 42. That's not fucking fair. That's not a relationship. That's⁠—

Rahul:             Cheating.

Jessica:            It's cheating. And it's cheating me. That's not even fucking cheating you. I mean, it is cheating you, but it's also cheating me because now I'm in my head, and I'm trying to control things so that you never hurt my feelings or you never dislike me, or you always like me, or whatever the fuck it is. And so there's a way that if you don't really know what you're doing with astrology, then don't look at people's charts when you get to know them, because that's bananas. And then, if you do really know what you're doing with astrology, don't look at people's charts when you get to know them, because that's bananas.

Rahul:             Yeah. That's a really good tip.

Jessica:            Thank you very much. And honestly, I say this as often as I can. I scream it from the hilltops, and most people are like, "Yeah, but I'm definitely going to keep on looking at my crush's chart." And you know what I mean? I respect that. Not everybody is going to do things the way I think everybody should do them. But I will say it's a good test to, instead of looking at the person you're crushed out on, to look at their chart⁠—to fucking pull your own transits that day. Pull your own transits that day.

                        So that doesn't mean using something like Astrology for Days, which have programmed the transits of the day, but instead, open up the ephemeris in Astrology for Days and look at where the planets are. Or you can track the Moon through the transits that are happening globally and be like, "Oh shit. I met this person at around 2:00, and at around 2:00, the Moon was at 25 degrees of Capricorn, which is exactly where my Venus is. This actually could be something."

Rahul:             Yeah.

Jessica:            Even if the Moon was squaring Saturn in that moment, it doesn't have to mean anything. If it's hitting your birth chart⁠—so we always priority transits to your birth chart over the global transits. Does that make sense?

Rahul:             Yeah, that are exactly aligned to my planets and my [crosstalk].

Jessica:            Yes. And this is where I want to just come back to how much power to give astrology in your life because while I've dedicated my whole entire life to astrology⁠—I obviously am all about it⁠—I often find myself wanting to tell people to not hold it so tightly because it is a tool, and if you think about it⁠—okay. You know Figma? You know that app, Figma? Okay. Of course you do because you're a designer. I'm pandering to you right now, okay?

                        So I have used Figma a little bit with a little bit of design stuff I've done or I've had done for me, and I can't use fucking Figma. Do you know how complicated Figma is to me? I know it's simple for a designer, but for me, I find it very confusing.

Rahul:             I know. There's all these shapes everywhere, for a layman, that makes no sense.

Jessica:            Makes no sense. So, when I'm using Figma, I'm not using the whole app. I'm using the smallest amount of the app because I don't know how to use the app because the app was created for somebody who has more skills than me. So, if I am going to do design work in Figma, it's not going to be good. Even if I have raw talent, even if I'm intuitive about how to use the app, I'm not going to be as good as somebody who actually knows how to use the fucking app.

                        So I want you to use that same⁠ "Yeah, that makes sense, obviously" to astrology because there's so much that it just didn't even occur to you to do with it, because there's so much that you don't yet know how to do with it. And so you don't want to assume that the way that the layman is using Figma is how you're actually supposed to use Figma. Even if the layman has lots of friends who or knows lots of people who use it well and they're really good at design work, it's really different than learning how to use the tool in all the ways it can be used.

Rahul:             That makes sense. I will miss out on a lot of things, even if I try it, because I'm not like a master's in astrology. I'm not an astrologer. I'm only curiously learning and trying to grow my knowledge in it, I guess.

Jessica:            And so I don't want to minimize, in any way, your use/your belief in astrology. But instead, I do want to say that making permanent decisions about, "I'm never going to date a Libra," or, "I'm never going to let another Scorpio into my life," or whatever the hell it is⁠—that I would be⁠—I would turn it down on, basically, is what I'm saying.

                        And when it comes to making massive life choices, major decisions, if you're not checking your transits, then you're not using the tool. Always check the transits. So, if you're trying to understand why your best friend of ten years and you stopped being friends when you were⁠—whatever⁠—28 years old, look at the transits. Don't just look at the birth charts. And that helps.

Rahul:             Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

Jessica:            I'm going to take a pause. My question for you is, did I answer your major questions? Do you have anything lingering that I haven't answered yet?

Rahul:             I think you've answered them to a really good extent. Yeah.

Jessica:            Good. Okay. And I know you had a little extra list. Did I get to those?

Rahul:             One of them was just how healthy or unhealthy it is to track, or just obsessively plan things around, the transits of that day.

Jessica:            The way that I trained myself to learn astrology⁠—I did a lot of things, and I studied a ton. But one thing is I tracked daily transits, but what I did⁠—so I had a day planner, like a paper one, because again, it was in the '90s. And I would look in the ephemeris, and I would write down all of the transits that were happening to me in a given day. So I would know at exactly when the Moon was going to square my Pluto, and I knew I'd be fucking agitated. I'd be pissed off. I'd be easily triggered. And so, when it happened, I'd be like, "Oh. I'm engaging consciously with my Pluto."

                        And sometimes I'd fuck up, but a lot of times, I would have this experience of being like, "This is the energy as I experience it." And it taught me astrology in an experiential way. It also taught me how to use the ephemeris. So obsessively tracking transits to your birth chart⁠—green light. Thumbs-up.

Rahul:             Okay.

Jessica:            Obsessively tracking transits in the world is very limited in what it's going to tell you. I would say track transits in the world, but leave your obsession for your birth chart, for transits to your birth chart.

Rahul:             Got it.

Jessica:            Okay?

Rahul:             And just one other question was that the Capricorn⁠—is that my second house, or am I [crosstalk]⁠—

Jessica:            It's in your second house. Yeah. It's in your second house.

Rahul:             Okay.

Jessica:            And the reason why you couldn't find your Capricorn⁠—because I know you told me before we started recording that you were like, "Where the fuck is Capricorn in my chart?"⁠—it's because it's intercepted. And as you can see with this chart drawing, the symbol for Capricorn is in the middle of your second house because⁠—and this is how you can tell, is there's 30 degrees to each zodiac sign, and you have the second-house cusp at 28 degrees of Sadge and the third-house cusp at 2 degrees of Aquarius. And that means Capricorn has to be in the middle.

Rahul:             Got it. So what is the house ruler, though?

Jessica:            Jupiter, Sagittarius⁠—so the house ruler is whatever zodiac sign is on the house cusp.

Rahul:             Okay.

Jessica:            So that means Sagittarius rules your second house, and Gemini rules your eighth house. Again, you're going to want to have sex with an air sign again, trust.

Rahul:             It's been happening.

Jessica:            I'm sure it has. Gemini is your eighth-house cusp.

Rahul:             I'm just conflicted about that, but talking to you has helped with that.

Jessica:            Good. Don't be conflicted. Of all the things to be conflicted about, I mean, not that one. Not that one. You'll be in trouble when he's a Cancer. That's all, because when you get into that intercepted energy of your eighth house, that's when you're going to be like, "Oh my God. What are these feelings?" But you won't do that unless all things align. And right now, it's actually kind of air sign vibes. Right now, you're just 30 and flirty. That's what's happening. Yeah.

Rahul:             Yeah. Actually, the Jupiter in Gemini, too, right, for this year?

Jessica:            Yes. Jupiter⁠—okay.

Rahul:             And [crosstalk] house or⁠—

Jessica:            No.

Rahul:             ⁠—sex, basically. No?

Jessica:            The eighth house is the house of sex, but Jupiter in Gemini⁠—so your eighth-house cusp is 28 degrees of Gemini. So most of Jupiter in Gemini is in your seventh house. So it's not just about sex. It's also about meeting people that you genuinely like, that you have fun with.

Rahul:             Right. Right.

Jessica:            So you might be hooking up with some guys but also be like, "But we're mainly friends," whereas a lot of times, it's like, "We're hooking up, and it's just about hooking up." This is actually making relationships. Jupiter is in your seventh house right now. It won't be until it hits the last 2 degrees of Gemini that it hits your eighth-house cusp.

Rahul:             Got it, which is the house of transformation⁠—

Jessica:            Sex. And sex.

Rahul:             ⁠—and sex [crosstalk].

Jessica:            Yes. And sex.

Rahul:             Yeah.

Jessica:            And if you want to know more about your patterns⁠—and you're really young, so you can't do this all the time. But 12 years ago⁠—because Jupiter takes 12 years to come back to the same place, right? So, 12 years ago, Jupiter was in your seventh house. You can look back to what was going on⁠—10, 12⁠—you were in your late teens.

Rahul:             18. Yeah.

Jessica:            You were a child. But still, it was probably a pretty good time for you socially.

Rahul:             Yeah. It was going to college, and I made new friends. And that was the point where I was coming out as my own⁠—from the shell that my parents created for me.

Jessica:            Yeah. Jupiter in the seventh house is lovely. And right now, you're likely to look back at this period as a transformational one in which you come into yourself. And it'll happen again in 12 years. It's cool. 12 years sounds really far away, I know, but it's the blink of an eye. I can't snap. It's one of my weaknesses. I cannot snap. But imagine I snapped and said "in the blink of an eye" because that's how this shit goes, truth be told.

                        Now, I know it's getting to be time. We do have to wrap up, and you have a ball to attend. We need you to have fun and make use of this Venus trine to your Moon.

Rahul:             Yes. And there's a Mars and Venus sextile, too, right, tonight?

Jessica:            Oh, is that what's happening tonight? Okay. So that means⁠—yeah, Mars is at 13 degrees of Taurus. So that means Mars is forming a sextile to your Moon because earth signs always sextile water signs, right?

Rahul:             Right.

Jessica:            And so, yes, this night is⁠—the transit that's happening globally happens to also be forming a transit to your birth chart, to your Moon. So the best parts of these transits you're going to feel more than me, who doesn't have anything at those degrees. Does that make sense?

Rahul:             Oh, you might have something.

Jessica:            No, I actually do, but it was more for the metaphor that I said that.

Rahul:             I get it.

Jessica:            It was more for the learning tool that I said that, but you get what I mean, right?

Rahul:             Yeah. I see.

Jessica:            Sometimes a transit that's happening globally hits your birth chart, and it's in your face. And other times, it doesn't actually hit your birth chart, so it's happening around you and it's like, "Yeah, it's sunny out, but I'm spending the day indoors. It's not really affecting me." Do you know what I mean?

Rahul:             Right. Yeah.

Jessica:            It's like that.

Rahul:             Got it.

Jessica:            All right, my dear. Well, I have loved getting to do this with you, and I hope it was helpful for your astrology journey.

Rahul:             It really was. It was so helpful. Thank you so much.

Jessica:            My pleasure.